Loving You Isn't Easy
Three days later Punk was watching his back like crazy and he hadn't noticed a thing. He didn't doubt that Kevin was outside his home but there could have been a hundred reasons that he was there. Punk also kept a close on Petra and on Monday he made sure to drive by her school and he didn't see Kevin but he saw another suspicious car and walked over to it.
"What are you doing?" Punk asked walking over to Seth's window.
"Watching my daughter." Seth smirked looking towards the playground. "Did you get her that Cub's hat she's wearing?"
"I did." Punk said to him glancing towards the schoolyard himself.
"We're Yankee fans." Seth informed him.
"Not anymore." Punk said proudly and Seth rolled his eyes. "She's never been to a baseball game before either so the Cubs are the first team she saw."
"I was busy." Seth muttered.
"Yea? No kidding." He remarked.
"I know what you think of me." Seth said to him.
"I have no doubt that you do." Punk said keeping an eye out in case another unwanted vehicle drove by.
"I really am working on it. Five months ago if I knocked on my wife's door and saw her the way I did last night I would have hurt you." Seth said to him and Punk laughed.
"You would have tried." Punk remarked.
"That's right you used to be a fighter, blew your knee out and became a cop." Seth said to him. "Like I've said, I've done my homework."
"I don't trust you." Punk said bluntly. "You may or may not be working on controlling your violent temper doesn't change the fact that you're a dirty cop it also doesn't take away the beatings you laid on AJ over the years."
"You don't think I don't know that?" Seth asked him. "I fucked up big time and believe me I don't want AJ back we're just fucking toxic around each other." he said remembering. "I don't want that life for Petra either. She's the only good thing I ever did in my life."
"Stop hanging around the school like a creep." Punk said to him. "Let AJ decide if you can see Petra."
"I'm not just here to gawk at her I'm here to make sure no one is watching her." Seth insisted. "I always thought it would be me that would get her hurt."
"I'm not going to let anything or anyone hurt her." Punk said to him.
"I'm not going anywhere until I know she's safe and I work something out with AJ." Seth warned him.
"How is you parking outside Petra's school working on things with AJ?" Punk asked.
"I don't think she would be too receptive of me just dropping by her apartment." Seth said to him. "I doubt you would be either."
"Hi daddy! Hi Punk!" Petra waved from the fence and both put on phony smiles and waved at her.
"She's happy I'm here." Seth noted as he watched her run back with her friends.
"No one has been trailing me." Punk said to him.
"You calling me a liar?" Seth asked looking up at him.
"No but if it was as serious as you thought it was they would still be following me." Punk said to him. "You're not needed here anymore. Talk to AJ, sign the papers and work out custody from Jersey."
"Is that what AJ wants?" Seth asked him.
"It's for the best don't you think?" Punk asked him.
"I'm not leaving until I know my wife and daughter are in good hands." Seth said to him.
"They're in the best hands they have ever been." Punk said to him and Seth chuckled.
"I suppose that's true." Seth said to him. "But I think I'm going to hang around a little longer."
"Not around here you're not." Punk warned him. "Get out of here or I'll take you in."
"On what grounds?" Seth asked.
"Being a fucking creep." He spat.
"I want to sit down with AJ." Seth told him as he started his car. "You can tell her that since I don't have her number. I'll give her the papers and we talk custody."
"There isn't going to be a custody deal made." Punk told him. "Showing up out of nowhere doesn't prove anything to her or me."
"I don't have to prove anything to you." Seth reminded him.
"Sure you do." Punk said simply. "AJ, Petra- they're with me. I'm going to watch out for them same as I've been doing since the day I met them and if you think I'm going to let you waltz into their lives again and hurt them you're dumber than I thought. And I'm not just talking physically. Petra's feelings about you are all over the place."
"That's why I'm here." Seth said simply. "You know what? I don't need you negotiating the terms of my divorce so I'll handle it from here on out." he then drove off.
AJ was at her desk typing away at her computer when Punk walked in.
"Hi." AJ smiled. "I remembered lunch today." she said proudly standing up and kissing him. "You are late though."
"I drove by the school." Punk said to her.
"Everything ok?" she asked.
"Yea I think Seth overreacted." Punk said to her. "But I did see him there."
"I don't like this." She said as she grabbed her purse. "I don't want him hanging around her school like that. I don't trust that he won't just snatch her up."
"You're going to have to sit down and talk to him if you don't want to involve lawyers and lay out all of that stuff you're both keeping. His legal issues, you taking off and stealing his stuff." Punk whispered as they walked out of the building.
"I just don't know how I'm going to be able to sit down and talk to him maturely." She admitted.
"I'll be there." he said to her.
"You don't have to." AJ smiled grabbing his hand and linking her fingers with his.
"I want to. I'm as invested in this divorce as you are." He said to her.
"Really?" she asked.
"Yea I mean dating a married woman isn't exactly what I want in life." He teased.
"It's only by law." She said to him. "You know that right?"
"Of course I do." he scoffed. "I'm just saying I don't want you married to another man. What if something god forbid happens to you? Seth gets Petra and makes all decisions regarding you. And that's just two very big reasons."
"What's the other reasons?" She asked curiously.
"What are you trying to get at?" he smirked looking down at her. "Down the line if things stay this good obviously I'd want you legally free."
"I don't know about marriage." She admitted.
"Why's that?" he asked. "Don't get me wrong I'm not getting down on one knee tomorrow or anything but if I asked you'd say no?"
"Look what happened when I married Seth." She pointed out and he stopped walking and she turned to look at him. "What's wrong?"
"You think I'll turn into Seth?" Punk asked her. "Turn into a different person and what? Beat on you?"
"No of course not." She reasoned. "I wouldn't be with you right now if I thought that."
"So why even say something like that? Why compare me to him?" Punk asked annoyed.
"It didn't mean it like that." She reasoned.
"So what are we doing here AJ?" he asked her.
"What do you mean?" She asked wondering how this simple conversation turned so bad.
"Are we going to be boyfriend and girlfriend forever?" He asked her. "After everything we've been through? Look I get that you tried marriage and didn't work for you, but that's not the case for me. I want to be married one day." he argued. "I want kids one day I don't just want to help you raise yours."
"This is a heavy conversation to be having on the street." She said to him. "Can we just talk about this somewhere else?"
"How about you go back to work and I'll go back to work and we'll talk later." he said walking away.
"Don't just walk away." she begged grabbing his wrist but he pulled away.
"I really don't want to talk about this right now." he said to her.
"I just don't see the point in marriage." she reasoned and he rolled his eyes. "No one stays married anyway!"
"Sure people do." he said to her. "I don't even know why I'm so upset about this because who even said I'd want to marry you anyway?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked.
"I don't even know you." Punk laughed. "I know nothing about your childhood I only just learned your last name a few weeks ago, you don't talk to me about anything. It's like you feel we're in this casual relationship while I thought we had something deeper."
"We do have something deep." She assured him walking to him but he stepped back.
"Clearly we don't because we don't even want the same things." He said to her. "Go back to work AJ." he said simply and walked off.
AJ was left speechless and holding back tears as she watched him walk off. Punk and her have only ever argued over what movie to watch or what to have for dinner. Maybe he was right and she didn't take the relationship as seriously as he did. AJ shook her head and thought about walking after him but he was already long gone. She turned around and bumped right into someone.
"I'm sorry." AJ said quickly and looked up.
"That's alright." Kevin smiled. "We met before." he noted eyeing her.
"I don't think so." AJ said uncomfortably and tried to pass the man who she knew but he grabbed her arm.
"You and Detective Brooks seem close." Kevin noted.
"What do you want from him?" AJ asked him.
"Nothing." Kevin said simply. "You work for the DA don't you?"
"What?" AJ asked surprised.
"Yea our great DA, the man in charge of prosecuting criminals of this City." Kevin said to her.
"I don't know what you're hinting at but I'm only a secretary." AJ said to him. "I can't help any of your friends."
"What makes you think my friends are criminals?" Kevin smirked.
"I'm just assuming." AJ said to him. "I just make coffee runs."
"I doubt that." Kevin smirked. "Your daughter is very pretty."
"Don't talk about her." AJ warned him.
"All I'm saying is it would be a shame if her picture ended up on the internet." Kevin shrugged.
"Look, if you have a problem with Phil that's your business do not drag my daughter into it." AJ warned him.
"This has nothing to do with him." Kevin said honestly. "The only reason I know Punk is really a Detective is because I've been trailing you. I need an 'in' at the DA's office."
"You're insane." AJ laughed. "I really can't help you with anything."
"You're going to have to try." Kevin said to her casually. "The DA is building a case against-"
"I don't know anything about any specific case." AJ argued. "Don't approach me like this again."
"I don't think you understand." Kevin laughed. "I'm not asking you to do anything." he said looking into her eyes. "I'm telling you to do something."
"I can't change cases." AJ reminded him starting to get nervous.
"No you can't but you have access to files, witnesses stuff of that nature." Kevin said to her.
"I have access to the coffee machine." AJ reasoned.
"You know it's not just your daughter. Because as much as my boss loves adorable little girls I'd bet he'd be more interested to know that Detective Brooks was working so close to his organization." Kevin said to her.
"He didn't rat you out." AJ said to him.
"Doesn't matter. A rat is a rat." He shrugged. "Again, only found that out from following you of course it would be like having his blood on your hands. Is that what you want? Who is going to look out for your little girl once he's gone? Huh?" he asked teasingly.
Punk was back at the station going though paperwork when he heard someone cough over him. He looked up and rolled his eyes.
"You have some set of balls to show up here." Punk said closing the file he was reading.
"AJ tell you that?" Seth teased and Punk glared at him. "Kidding." he added quickly. "I need to talk to you."
"We're not friends." Punk reminded. "I have nothing to say to you."
"I saw you and AJ fighting today." Seth said to him and now Punk stood up.
"Am I going to have to bring you in on stalking charges?" Punk asked him. "Because believe me I will."
"Relax superman." Seth remarked. "I wanted to talk to AJ and swung by the DA's office but you beat me there. Anyway after you walked off I saw that guy."
"Kevin?" Punk asked and Seth nodded. "He was with AJ?" he asked him quietly.
"Yup. Didn't hear what he was saying but he clearly caught her attention. The two even exchanged numbers." Seth informed him.
"What?" Punk asked in disbelief.
"Yea saw it with my own two eyes." Seth said surely.
"So you're telling me AJ is in cahoots with him?" Punk laughed. "Get the fuck out of here."
"Didn't say that at all." Seth said with a shrug. "Just that he cornered her on the street and the conversation didn't seem friendly on her part. I don't know what she's gotten into-"
"Hold on right there." Punk warned him. "AJ would never associate with a guy like him- ever."
"Why give him her number?" Seth asked. "This is something you'll learn about her. She gets bored. She got bored with me and started hanging around Milo-"
"You don't know what you're talking about." Punk said to him.
"If I find out she's sleeping with this guy I'm taking Petra and there isn't a judge on this planet that one side with me." Seth said to him.
"She's not." Punk told him coldly. "I'd know."
"Maybe he was outside your place waiting for her." Seth pointed out. "Regardless I don't want that element around my kid."
"You are that element." Punk spat. "I'll talk to AJ."
"Are you sure? Because you two didn't seem to be on the same page." Seth laughed but Punk didn't find the comment funny at all.
"I'll handle this." Punk informed. "Go home. And by home I don't mean back to the Hotel I mean back to Jersey."
"Nope. Not until I find out exactly what's going on and we get this divorced this thing figured out." Seth said to him. "Oh and Petra."
"Give it up. You have to earn that right to her and you haven't earned it yet." Punk said to him.
"Yet is the key word." Seth pointed out with a grin.
AJ was home on the couch reading a book at around ten when someone knocked on the door. AJ walked over to the door and peeped in and saw it was Punk. She sighed not wanting to let him in and get into another argument or be forced to lie to him.
"I have a key." he reminded her knowing she was right there.
AJ reluctantly unlocked the door and let him in. She closed the door behind him and watched as he walked right in and looked around.
"What are you looking for?" AJ asked him. "Or are you here to apologize?"
"Apologize? No." He smirked. "I was looking for your new friend."
"Friend?" She asked slowly.
"Yea you know Kevin." Punk said to her and her face fell. "I thought my tip was bad but just by looking at your face I can see that it wasn't. Because if he had cornered you or threatened you I know you would have called me."
"Phil-" she started.
"What the fuck is going on AJ?" He asked her trying to remain calm.
"Just keep it down Petra is sleeping." She insisted.
"I'm trying AJ but I really need to know what the fuck is going on." Punk said to her.
"Kevin wasn't following you." She said quietly. "It's me."
"Why?" He asked narrowing his eyes. "AJ whatever he said to you- this is what they do they lure women who are-"
"I know what they do Phil and it's not like that either." AJ said shaking her head. "It's my fault he knows you're a cop and he was watching Petra." she cried.
"What happened?" He asked her desperately.
"He knows I work for the DA." AJ said to him and now it all clicked. "He needs me to get him one file-"
"You didn't do it did you?" He asked her.
"Not yet. But I have it here." She said to him. "I'm supposed to meet him tomorrow-"
"Are you insane?" He asked her. "Give me that file."
"He threatened you!" AJ yelled. "I'm not going to let him kill you."
"AJ you will do hard time if you're lucky enough to get caught and I say lucky because they will do something worse to you one he gets you alone." Punk argued.
"I don't have a choice." AJ said to him. "I know you think I don't take us seriously or care about you but I love you so much I'm willing to risk jail time to make sure you don't get killed! So I'm going to give him the file and it will be over."
"It won't be over!" he argued. "They'll ask for more and more and more and then you'll end up like those other women end up! Being whored out and abused! I thought you left Jersey to give yourself and daughter a better life."
"I did but it's not just about me." She argued back. "I want to protect you the same you've protected me."
"Then what happens to Petra when you're either in jail or dead?" Punk asked her. "Because believe me that's your only two options here. There is no happy ending."
"So what do I do?" She asked him. "Do you see a better way out of this?"
"Yea you bring the file back first thing in the morning and let me handle the rest." He said to her.
"You're a target here." AJ reminded him. "He will kill you."
"Do you think I'm stupid? Do you think I've been a cop for this long and haven't learned anything?" Punk mocked. "I don't need you to prove anything to me. Don't risk your job and your life over an argument."
"I'm not doing because of the argument I'm doing it for you." She said to him. "I didn't even plan on telling you and I'd like to know how you even knew."
"It doesn't matter AJ." He said annoyed. "Put the file back."
"No." She said simply. "I can take care of this."
"No you can't." Punk argued. "You don't know these guys believe me. They say a pretty woman like you living on your own working your ass off to make rent and they're going to snatch you up! I told you about this when I first met you!"
"I'm not letting this guy kill you." AJ argued. "And he threatened Petra."
"You think I'd let him get withing 50 feet of her?" Punk asked her. "I would kill for her. You let me handle it."
"You won't be able to handle things if you're dead!" she yelled. "If I do end up in trouble I now you'll look out for her."
"You really are crazy." He laughed in a frustrated way rubbing his head.
"You wouldn't look out for her if something happened to me?" AJ asked him.
"I would give my right arm for her." Punk said to her. "But again this goes back to that legal stuff I was trying to talk to you about- Seth has full legal rights and she'd go right off with him. Is that what you want? Also don't make death wishes when you're all Petra has."
"She has you too." AJ reminded him.
"I'm not her father." He reminded her.
"I wish you were." AJ whispered shaking her head. "I've made so many mistakes in my life and I don't want to make anymore."
"That's great!" Punk cheered sarcastically. "So to avoid more bad mistakes bring that file back tomorrow." He insisted. "I'll handle the rest."
"I don't want you to get killed." AJ said holding back tears. "I won't let that happen."
"AJ, please." He said placing his hands gently on her arms. "I'm asking nicely. Don't fuck up your life and your daughters. I'll handle this and I promise I'll be fine."
AJ just folded her arms and shook her head and looked to the side as tears escaped her eyes. Punk's shoulders fell and he cupped her chin gently so she was looking at him and saw how torn and upset she was.
"I love you." He said to her. "I love Petra and I love that you're trying to keep me safe but I don't need it. If they were going to kill me they would have. But killing a cop who gave up no information on their business isn't something they're going to do. They don't want that unnecessary heat on them. They're just trying to get to you to do something for them."
"What about Petra?" She asked. "He said something about taking pictures of her-"
"I'm not going to let them near her." He assured her and kissed the top of her head. "I need to see the file before you bring it back so I can know what they're focusing on."
"Ok." She forced out feeling like she let him down. "I really do want to be with you." She cried. "You mentioned marriage today and I freaked. I'm still trying to get my feet off the ground and I might not have shared much except for stories about Petra because she was all I had for so long." she rambled as he listened. "For my seventh birthday I got a pink bike and I fell off of it and never rode it again." she told him and he had to let out a small laugh. "My favorite color is green."
"Noted." he smirked looking down at her and brushing her tears with his thumb.
"My mom is dead." She told him. "My dad isn't. I've always said they were both dead because it was easier than trying to explain that I never knew or met my dad."
"Thank you for telling me." Punk said to her.
"I also can tell you that I don't only love you but I appreciate you." She said to him. "You're not just great to me but you look out for Petra like your own and I'm not set on the no marriage thing I'm just...I'm still married! I'm so overwhelmed and confused and I wouldn't keep you from a life you wanted."
"We've been dating a couple of months." He smirked. "We don't need to talk about marriage or kids anytime soon."
"I'd give you anything you want." she said to him.
"I know that and I would do the same." Punk said to her. "I don't like fighting with you."
"I hate it." She admitted sniffling. "I just wanted to help you."
"I get that." he said to her. "Now I'm going to help you."
AJ looked up to him and grabbed his face and pulled him into a searing kiss. Punk removed his jacket without parting his lips and dropped it somewhere from the living room to her bedroom. This much more intense and they both needed it right now. There was an urgency that neither ever felt before as they crashed onto on the bed.
Punk unzipped his jeans and left the rest of his clothes on and didn't bother to remove the long sleeping shirt she was only wearing. He barely pulled out of his jeans before he pushed her panties to the side and pierced her. AJ gripped his face as she moaned quietly as he used short but very rough thrusts to enter her.
AJ's knees cradled his thighs as she spread herself slightly to grant him better access. Their eyes never parted and AJ would swear neither blinked as he took her in the rough way he did. She didn't know why she told this man she loved so much she wouldn't marry him but she was convinced she'd do anything for him. Marriage, kids, taking a bullet for him. He was the total package and everything she ever dreamed of. When she was a little girl she imagined a man like Punk, not Seth.
Punk didn't last long and neither did AJ. It only took a few minutes for him to explode inside of her taking her over the edge with him. As soon as he did there was no cuddling or sweet words he stood up and zipped his jeans back on.
"You're leaving?" AJ asked sitting up.
"I've got to take care of some things." he said avoiding her eyes but she grabbed his hand.
"Don't go." she insisted quietly.
"I really shouldn't be here." He said looking down at the floor.
"Are you mad at me?" She asked feeling crushed. "I'm sorry-"
"No." He sighed shaking his head. "I just shouldn't have done that." he said referring to the quick rough sex. "You deserve better and I'm not thinking clearly-"
"I wanted like that, we both needed that." She said to him confused. "I'm not a fragile doll. Yea I used to get slapped around but you don't have to be afraid. Stay with me tonight?" she requested not letting go of his wrist.
He finally looked up at her and his eyes were sad and sympathetic. He gave her a weak smile and pulled his shirt off and kicked off his shoes and she was relieved. She moved to the top of the bed and pulled down the covers and once he was in only in his boxers and he crawled into the bed and waited for her. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed her back firmly against his chest and kissed her cheek causing her to smile.
The next morning Petra was pleased to wake up to the smell of pancakes and knew Punk was there.
"Punk!" Petra cheered running to him and he lifted her up and kissed her cheek. "You haven't been here in two days!" She reminded him holding up two fingers.
"Sorry kid. I got a little busy. But I'm making pancakes to make up for it." Punk said to her sitting her in her special booster seat at the table.
"Where's mommy?" Petra asked looking around.
"She had to go to work early today." Punk said to her. "So I'm taking you to school."
"Awesome." Petra cheered as Punk placed a dish of pancakes in front of her. "Are you and mommy fighting?"
"No." He said to her. "Why?"
"Because she was crying yesterday." Petra said to him and he frowned. "And you didn't come over."
"Nah we're fine." Punk smirked handing her a glass of milk.
"Is it because daddy is back?" Petra asked. "She always cried when daddy was home."
"No I don't think that it's either." Punk said sitting next to her. "Sometimes grownups just have to cry."
"I do that sometimes." Petra said to him and he smirked. "When am I going to see daddy again?" she asked him.
"You need to talk to you mom about that." Punk said to her. "Worry about eating those pancakes for right now."
"Are you going to save some for mommy?" Petra asked.
"I'll make her a fresh batch for dinner." Punk said to her.
"Pancakes for dinner?" Petra giggled.
"Pancakes for dinner is awesome." He smirked.
"Could you come to my class next Tuesday?" Petra asked him.
"Uh sure." He said confused. "Any specific reason?"
"Everyone's dad is coming to talk about their jobs and I daddy can't do it and said I should ask you." Petra told him.
"You spoke to your dad again?" Punk asked and she nodded. "I don't know Petra." he said to her.
"But you do the same job as my dad." Petra countered.
"Yea we're both cops-" he started.
"I mean you both take care of me." Petra corrected. "You take me to games and you walk to me school, you make sure I brush my teeth- that's what a daddy does right?"
"Oh I guess so." Punk said unsurely.
"He said you should do it since mommy won't let him do it." Petra told him.
"Sure." Punk forced out still unsure if AJ would be ok with it but he had a hard time saying no to Petra.
"Awesome!" Petra cheered.
AJ snuck back into the filling room that she stole the file from and slipped it back in going unnoticed. The minute she walked out of the office DA Ramirez was standing there with a security guard waiting for her.
"Ricky." AJ said surprised and put on a smile.
"Ms. Mendez." Ricky forced out. "You need to come to my office."
"I can explain this-" She started. She knew she wasn't allowed to be in that particular office but she didn't think he'd be so upset.
"We need to talk in my office." Ricky said sternly. "Security cameras picked up on you entering this office last night after hours."
"I really can explain." AJ insisted.
"I look forward to hearing what you have to say." Ricky said to her then nodded for her to follow him and the security guard.
AJ knew at this moment that she was in deep, deep trouble...