Darthemius: Zzzzzzzzz…
Naruto: Oi, Darth! Get the fuck up!
Darthemius: Zzzzzzzzz…
Naruto (throwing Darthemius off his bed): I said get up, you lazy son of a bitch!
Darthemius: Ow! What in the blue hell are you doing?
?: Man, I love that line!
Darthemius (With wide eyes): I'll know that voice anywhere…
Naruto (Grinning widely): You bet! Look who I found!
The Rock: Hey, guys.
Darthemius: Holy fucking shit… Holy fucking shit! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
The Rock: Yeah, it's nice to meet you too… and you can get up as well.
Darthemius: Y-Yeah, sure man… So uh… How did you find this place?
The Rock: Well, you have to thank your buddy here for that. He thought me out and told me that you're my greatest fan…
Naruto: Hey, I'm your fan too! But I can't compare with Darth here. By the way, do you know that when the referee counted to three last Sunday at Wrestlemania, Darth's yell was on pair with what happened in the arena?
The Rock: What, for real?
Naruto (Snickering): You bet. To tell the truth, I think he even came a little…
Darthemius: Fuck you! (Turning to The Rock) It's just… I've been your fan since 1999! And it was not just because of your wrestling skills, though you had plenty of that. No, it was the way you held yourself, the way you handled the crowd… the way you handled your opponents. You looked them in the eye through people's sunglasses like they were nothing. And I promised that one day I will be able to do the same.
The Rock (Smirking): Well, from what Naruto told me, you already did.
Darthemius (Smirking back): Maybe… But only because you were my inspiration. I am proud to say that when I was a kid I watched The Rock. Right now kids don't have such luxury, and that makes me sad.
The Rock: Yeah, to tell the truth I considered coming back for some time, but I simply couldn't.
Naruto: Aww, man! Why not?
The Rock: Can you imagine me standing in the middle of the ring and not cussing?
Naruto: Umm… no.
The Rock: Exactly. That's why kids will have to settle for John Cena until the rating goes up again.
Darthemius: Yeah, I heard that. By the way, do you remember that moment when the entire roster walked out on Triple H when he was the GM? Try imagining something like that ten years ago.
The Rock: Hahahahaha! Damn, you got that right man. What did they call it? Oh yes, unsafe work environment. Shit, those guys would've become a laughing stock back in the days!
Darthemius: Yeah, but that was because it was the Attitude era. And you know, most people say that Stone Cold Steve Austin was the Attitude era… But I think not. In my opinion the Attitude era began when The Rock and Austin first came to the same ring together. And in 2003 it ended. With the third Rock Bottom at Wrestlemania 19 it took a fatal blow… and at Backlash it died when you left.
The Rock: But Austin still remained for a while…
Darthemius (Shaking his head): No, you don't get it. It wasn't the same for me because… because I didn't look up to Austin. Well, I did, but not like how I looked up to you. And… shit, I'm ashamed to say this, but I didn't even look up to my old man as I did to The Rock.
The Rock: Wow… Just wow. Thanks for sharing with me, that means a lot and I appreciate it.
Naruto (Taking out two boxes of vodka): Enough of this soap opera crap! Let's get drunk as wild pigs!
Darthemius and The Rock: Hell yeah!
Naruto: Wait a second! Say, Rock, I just have one tiny little question for you before we start. How does it feel to kick Cena's ass at Wrestlemania?
The Rock: I have to tell you, it feels…
Naruto: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU FEEL! HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! I always wanted to do that!
The Rock: Hahaha! That wasn't bad. But don't steal… You know what, you can use it.
Naruto: What?
The Rock: You know, I've been impressed with you guys myself.
Darthemius: What do you mean?
The Rock: I read EHD.
Darthemius and Naruto: FOR REAL?
The Rock: Yeah, and I have to say, no one managed to use The Rock's catchphrases on The Rock's level beside you guys. I mean that promo at your trial in chapter fifteen? Totally priceless! And if The Rock's left WWE doesn't mean his catchphrases should be gone as well.
Naruto: Shit! That's awesome, man!
Darthemius: Yeah, and we'll…
Trish: SQUEEEEAAAAL!
The Rock: What in the blue hell was that?
Naruto: Trish? What are you doing…?
Trish: Y-Y-You're The Rock, right?
The Rock: Who is…? (Noticing Trish) Damn! Eeeeeasy, big fella!
Trish: Mmmm… (Licking her lips) And how big that fella actually is?
The Rock: Oh? You want to go one on one with the Great One?
Trish: Yep. I want the… Oh yes, people's strudel!
The Rock: Well, you certainly look younger than Mae Young, so I don't see a problem with that.
Naruto (Whispering to Darthemius): Yet she's much, much older…
Darthemius (Whispering back): Quiet, he doesn't need to know that.
Trish's voice from the bedroom: Oh my god!
Naruto (Truning to Darthemius with 'What the fuck' look): Is he that good?
Darthemisu (Shrugging): Well, he's not called the Great One for nothing I guess.
Naruto: So umm… What do we do?
Darthemius: What else? We launch the chapter and get drunk! Roll it!
...
Chapter sixteen: A beautiful lie.
"Shin-ne!" – talks.
'Nah.' – thoughts.
...
Konohagakure no sato. Hokage's office…
"Damn it, here we go again…" Minato muttered, signing another document. "I almost miss my coma."
True, the great Yondaime Hokage was finally cleared from the hospital and returned to his duty… which pleased his wife greatly. Sure, she was doing all the work while he was out.
"Fuck it all!" The Hokage cursed. "I'd rather fight Raikage! At least he can provide me with some challenge. Still…" His thoughts returned to the day of the attack. "What was that back then? It sure as hell wasn't Orochimaru, I just know it. But if not Orochimaru, then who? No one was there, and no one could… except Tsubaki. But there is no way she's strong enough to put me in a coma in a matter of seconds."
"You're wondering about it again?" Female voice asked, opening the door.
Minato's eyes lit up. "Kushina! Finally I see something pleasant today!"
"Hmhmhm…" The woman giggled. "Enjoying your work I see…"
"Tch." Yondaime scowled. "Fine, laugh all you want! Laugh at your poor husband, who bought that tale about how great it is to be a Hokage!"
"Hahaha, relax, Minato. At least I'm not worrying sick about your safety every freaking day."
"Yeah, instead we have to worry about our daughter…"
"Yeah…" Kushina frowned. "But at least now we have someone who can look after her while we cannot."
Minato raised an eyebrow. "Really? Who?"
"Jin Kisaragi."
Minato's second eyebrow shot up immediately. "What do you mean, Jin Kisaragi?"
"Didn't I tell you?" Kushina asked back.
"Tell me what?"
"I sent him with Jiraya and Tsubaki for our girl's protection… and that was the right decision. He managed to save her life on that journey."
Yondaime made a silent 'oh'. "Well… I still don't trust him."
"Come on, Minato!" The woman shouted. "It's clearly that Tsubaki is head over heels about that guy!"
"That's exactly why I don't like him!"
"You… You are a very hard man, you know that?"
Minato smirked. "Sure! Especially in certain parts."
Kushina's eyebrows rose. "Did you just mean what I think you mean?"
Hokage's smirk widened. "I already ordered another desk this morning…"
Konoha street…
"That movie was so nice!" Sakura exclaimed with hearts in her eyes. "What do you think, Sasuke-kun?"
"Hn. I guess. What about you, Tsubaki?"
"Well, the movie itself was nice… But what was that about seven-colored chakra? Chakra is always blue." She said… though she also remembered how she herself used red chakra… and how Jin used some strange black one.
"Yes, true." Sasuke nodded, agreeing with her. "Why do you think Kakashi asked us to watch this film?"
Tsubaki shrugged. "I don't know and… look out!" She quickly pushed Sasuke out of the way, saving him from being rushed over by a horse… A woman on a horse.
"Thanks…" The Uchiha whispered.
"You're welcome. But why was she in such a hurry?"
Suddenly four more horsemen dashed past them and surrounded that unknown woman.
"Hey…" Sakura exclaimed. "That's… That's Fujikaze Yukie!" She stated. "What is she doing here?"
"I don't know…" Tsubaki said. "But perhaps we should help her. Let's come closer."
"Please, Yukie-san!" They heard some old man's voice. "Stop these useless actions! Only you can play princess Fuun and…"
"I refuse!" Yukie shouted. "There is no way I'm going to that country again!"
"If you refuse to play, then I will make sure that you will never work as an actress again!"
"I don't care! Leave me alone, Sandayu!"
"Hey, what's going on here?" Tsubaki decided to intervene.
"You have exactly ten seconds to explain." Sasuke added with a glare, cracking his knuckles.
The old man turned to them and smiled apologetically. "Oh, I'm sorry for the confusion. My name is Sandayu, and I'm Yukie-san's producer."
"Ah, I see…" Tsubaki nodded in understanding. "So what is the problem then?"
"Well…" Sandayu began. "In order to make this movie we need to go to Snow country. And Yukie-san here…"
"I will not go there!" The actress shouted. "And you won't make me."
"Yes, Yukie-san is afraid of… something. We even went as far as ordering a team of shinobi to guard us in our trip."
Sakura's eyes widened. "Wait a second, that's why Kakashi-sensei told us to watch that movie! We are your team!"
"Yes, it seems that way." Sasuke stated.
"It doesn't matter!" Yukie shouted again. "Shinobi or not, I'm not going to that damn country!"
Tsubaki sighed. "Alright, let's try this… Yukie-san, it's clear to me that you're afraid to go there. But you should embrace your fears instead of running from them. Look them in the eye and… Fuck! Where is Jin when I need him? His convincing speeches are so much better…"
Sasuke scowled at this, but…
"Jin?" Yukie suddenly asked. "As in Jin Kisaragi?"
"Umm… yeah."
The actress's eyes lit up. "You know him? Tell me that you do!"
"I… I do."
"We all do in fact." Sasuke exclaimed.
"Thank god." Yukie sighed in relief. "Please take me to him…"
Konoha hospital…
"Ah! Yes!" Tsunade screamed happily as her back was hitting the wall repeatedly.
"You do realize that it was supposed to be a simple medical checkup?" Naruto asked, rolling his eyes.
"Yeah… But I… Ah! I just can't help it!" The medic screamed, wrapping her legs around his torso. "Fuck me harder!"
"Damn…" Naruto grunted. "Don't squeeze me so tight, or I'll…"
But he wasn't able to finish, because that moment Tsunade's back arched…
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" She screamed as her mind overloaded with a mind-shattering orgasm.
"Oh shit!" Naruto shut his eyes tightly as a sudden sensation pushed him over the edge. But with Tsunade's legs around him he couldn't pull out. So he did the only thing he could… and that is pushed as deep as he could and released his load of hot cum deep inside her womb.
"Huff… Huff…" Tsunade panted heavily, and then kissed Naruto deeply, shoving her tongue into his mouth.
"Mmm…" He moaned, but pulled away several seconds later. "Thanks, that was… refreshing."
"You're a motherfucker, Kisaragi." Tsunade replied.
"Sure thing, mommy." Jin exclaimed, letting her down. "Are you able to stand?"
"I think so." Tsunade got on her feet and started putting her clothes back on. "I can't believe I'm enjoying sex with a kid…"
"Hey! That kid made you pass out twice!" Naruto stated, zipping his pants. "By the way, you do know that Anko was standing outside of this door the entire time?"
The medic smirked. "Nah, don't worry. This is a sound proof room, she didn't hear a thing."
"Oh, okay then…" Naruto was about to leave, but glanced over his shoulder just before opening the door. "Also, think of another reason to call me here. This has been my what… fourteenth medical checkup this week?"
"Hmm, fine. Now get the fuck out of here. I have a job to do."
"Hmhmhm…" Naruto chuckled and left the room.
"Damn, what took you?" Anko scolded, getting up from her chair. "That was one long checkup. Why? She was checking me for three minutes, and you…" She looked at her watch. "Forty seven! What was she checking?"
Naruto scratched the back of her head. "Well… I don't know. Ask her next time."
"You bet your ass I will!" Anko exclaimed. "Now let's go, we have more missions to kill people!"
Naruto smiled. "Anko… You're the best sensei I could've hoped for!"
Outside…
"So, how do you want to do this?" Anko asked, pointing at the Hokage tower. "Speed run? Combat run? Or maybe you will simply carry me back to your place and we'll go two hours later?"
Naruto raised an eyebrow. Sure, he wouldn't mind any other time, Anko was just fucking asking for it. But after almost an hour with Tsunade…
"No, maybe another time."
"Aww…" The kunoichi pouted. "Then…"
"Anko!" ANBU member in cat mask called, landing in front of them.
"Oh, it's Yugao-san!" Jin exclaimed. "How are you doing?"
"Fine, thank you." Yugao nodded. "But I am here to give you a message. You are ordered to be at the Hokage tower ASAP."
"Me or Anko?"
"Both."
"Alright, speed run it is!" Naruto stated, darting forward.
"Hey! Get back here, you cheating son of a bitch!" Anko yelled, running after him.
Hokage's office…
'Damn, I think I'm getting old…' Minato thought, massaging his temples. Apparently that actress, Fujikaze Yukie, was trying to jeopardize one of his missions. 'Oh dear, poor girl doesn't want to go to Snow country… Well who gives a crap? I certainly don't!' This girl was already getting on Minato's bad list… But after she asked for Kisaragi's presence, she was already in the top fifty of that list.
Then the door opened…
"Hokage-sama?" Anko asked, entering the office. "Were you requesting for our presence?"
"Yes, I…" Minato started, but…
"Jin!" Yukie rushed towards just entered Naruto and enveloped him in a hug.
"What the…?" Naruto muttered in confusion. "Yukie? What are you doing here?"
"They want to bring me back!" The actress shouted. "Back to Snow country!"
Naruto's eyes narrowed. "Who wants to do that?"
"My producer…" Yukie pointed her finger.
Then two things happened. Sandayu suddenly got the tip of Jin's katana in front of his left eye… and Jin got Minato's kunai on his throat.
"Father!" Tsubaki yelled.
"Lower your weapon, Kisaragi." Yondaime commanded, ignoring his daughter. "This is your only warning."
Jin in turn ignored Minato. "Who are you?" He looked Sandayu straight in the eye… the other eye, not the one he was almost poking with his blade.
"I-I'm Yukie-san's produ…"
"Don't give me this crap." Naruto interrupted. "Tell me who you really are."
"I won't repeat myself, Kisaragi." Minato said. "Either you…"
"I am a samurai of 50th brigade under the true ruler of Snow country – Kazahana Sosetsu-sama." Sandayu spoke and Naruto lowered his sword.
"Just as I expected." He sheathed his katana with a click and it disappeared in his hand. "Now tell me why you want Yukie there."
Sandayu scowled. "Our people are losing hope! We need a symbol, a reason to fight for…"
SLAM.
Jin quickly ducked under Minato's kunai and slammed the old man into the wall. That shocked several people and Tsubaki even gasped. She has never seen Jin so angry before.
"You selfish son of a bitch!" Naruto yelled. "I understand that you stubborn morons are just looking for a way to die, and I'm fine with that! You are old and useless, just like your people! And if you all die, nobody will miss you! But you're not satisfied with that, oh no! You need to bring an innocent girl down with you simply because she is the daughter of a weak leader! And you will ruin her career just because your damn people want hope!"
"How dare you!" Sandayu shouted back. "Sosetsu-sama was great and kind man! He was generous and…"
"And weak!" Naruto interrupted. "Because he died like a useless fool and left his only child with nothing but nightmares!"
"Tch!" Sandayu gritted his teeth. "Koyuki-hime! How can you allow this… this ingrate to speak such words about your own father?"
Yukie looked at him stoically. "I can, because I agree with him completely. And don't you dare calling him ingrate. He's worth more than all your people altogether."
"K-Koyuki-hime…"
"Enough, Kisaragi." Minato said, placing his hand on genin's shoulder. "Put the man down."
"Tch, fine…" Naruto released his grip and allowed the old man to fall on his knees.
"Cough… Hokage-sama!" Sandayu spoke again. "I paid you a lot of money for this mission."
Yondaime raised an eyebrow. "Well, that's true…"
Naruto's eyes widened. "Wait! You can't let him do that!"
"Yes, I understand that. But a mission is a mission…"
"Jin…" Yukie whispered.
Naruto frowned. "Sorry, Yukie. Looks like my hands are tied this time. I'm still a genin and I don't have any authority here…"
The actress looked down. "I… I understand." She then looked up sharply. "Hokage-sama?"
"Yes?"
"I'd like to make an additional request for this mission." Yukie stated. "I request Jin Kisaragi's presence on this mission."
Minato was about to decline, but then he remembered that it was an A-ranked mission, so the payment was… more than nice.
"Well, Kisaragi is still a genin. So he will have to go with his sensei Anko here and that would cost…"
"I don't care. Name any price."
Sasuke glared. "I don't think his presence will be necessary, Yukie-san. Our team is quite capable of defending you."
"I will decide what is necessary, boy." Yukie cut him off sharply. "So, do you agree, Hokage-sama?"
'Sold!' Yondaime thought with a smile on his face. "Nice to have business with you, miss."
Open sea. Ship's upper deck…
"I'm sorry I couldn't stop it…" Naruto apologized with a frown.
"It's okay." Yukie smiled sadly at him. "I understand that you did all you could…"
"Not all, but I did everything that was allowed at that time." The blonde stated. "Still, you're here… going back to your precious family…"
"Yeah… But at least I have you with me, so I'm not losing all hope."
"Right, don't lose it. That's all people like you and I have…"
The actress looked at him as if she wanted to say something, but…
"Yukie-san! We are ready to begin the filming!" One of the staff members called.
"Coming!" Yukie replied, walking away from Jin. "Let's talk later."
"Yeah…" Naruto said and turned to look at the water.
"Umm… Jin?"
Naruto turned his head.
"Yes, Tsubaki?"
"Umm…" Red haired girl bit her lower lip and walked closer. "It looks like you know Yukie-san pretty well…"
The blond frowned. "You could say that…"
"Oh?" A pair of breasts connected with the back of his head and two arms wrapped themselves around his neck. "And where from?"
Jin rolled his eyes. "First of all, stop doing that, Anko… at least in public. Secondly – get off me."
"Fine, fine!" Special jounin released her hold. "Now spill, where did you get this girl?"
Naruto sighed. "Well, it's a long story…"
"It's a long trip." Tsubaki stated.
Jin paused. "Alright then. As you probably already guessed, Yukie's real name is Kazahana Koyuki and she has a very fucked up family…"
"Yeah, we got that." Anko nodded. "But what's the reason?"
"The reason's quite simple." Naruto stated. "Yukie's uncle, a fuck named Dotou wanted to be a ruler instead of his brother. So what he did, he hired some shinobi and took over by force. I wasn't lying when I said that Yukie's father was a weakling, that's a damn true. He didn't even put up a resistance when they tried to kill him. But even after taking over, Dotou was not satisfied for some reason. He needed Yukie…"
"What for?" Tsubaki asked.
"I don't know… and quite frankly, I don't care." The blond said, looking away for some reason. "But she escaped and he brought her back…"
"Ah, so that's the story!" Anko concluded. "You saved a princess from her big bad uncle! My, how romantic!"
"Actually you're wrong." Naruto replied. "I was the one who caught her and brought her back."
Tsubaki's eyes widened. "But why would you do such a thing?"
Jin looked at her in amusement. "Because I was a mercenary of course. Dotou offered a large sum of money and the work was not very difficult."
"Ah, so that's the story!" Anko tried again. "He didn't want to pay you, so you took the girl and ran."
"Hmhmhm…" Naruto chuckled. "Sorry, but wrong again. I did take the girl and ran, but it was not because of Dotou's treachery. Quite the opposite in fact, he offered me a large bonus for completing the task so quickly."
"Then why did you do what you did?" Tsubaki wondered.
"I did it… after she told me her story. The one I just told you now…"
Flashback…
"So, are you happy with herself?" Yukie asked absently, sitting on a floor of her cell.
Naruto shrugged. "I'd be lying if I said that I'm not. I mean I got the money and…"
"And ruined my life…" The girl muttered quietly.
"Oh, come on now! He's your uncle."
"That didn't stop him from killing my father."
Jin's eyebrows rose. "What did you say?"
"He killed my father and the rest of our family." The princess turned to him with amused look on her face. "What he didn't tell you?"
"No…" The blond paused. "He did not…"
Yukie shook her head. "This changes nothing. It's still too late for me. I'm… Hey, what's wrong with you?"
"Kh…" Naruto gritted his teeth and clutched his head in pain. His vision started to blur until he saw Dodou's face in his mind… a face that sudfdenly shifted and became Itachi's face. "Gah… AAAAAAH!"
"O-Oi! Are you alright?" Some security guard ran over, but…
SLASH.
"EEP!" Yukie yelped, covering her mouth with her hands as the guard was chopped in two.
Meanwhile Naruto sank to his knees and started to breathe heavily.
"Y-You… What are you doing?" Yukie asked carefully.
Naruto's breathing slowly turned back to normal as he stood up and brought his sword forward.
"Stand back."
"What? But…"
"I said stand back."
Yukie did so reluctantly, crawling back to the farthest corner.
"Sekkajin!"
A quick barrage of sword slashes and the bars were no more.
"Come." Naruto said, extending his free hand to the girl.
She slowly stood up, eyes filled with fear. "Where are you taking me?"
"Away." He stated simply.
Yukie's eyes widened. "But we're in the middle of…!"
"Just take my hand." Naruto interrupted.
The princess did so, and next second they both disappeared from the castle, reappearing miles away from it.
"H-How?" Yukie asked.
"I always have a trump card." Naruto said simply and extended his hand once more. "Come, I'll carry you out of here."
"But… But why? You have brought me here in the first place!"
The blond smiled at her warmly. "Let's just say I had a change of heart. But if you wanted to stay so much…"
"Not really." Yukie took his arm and got onto his back. "What do you want for this?"
Naruto closed his eyes, remembering Mikoto's gentle smile. "Just… stay alive."
Yukie's eyes widened. "I… Yes, I will."
End flashback…
"He killed off my entire family!" Yukie's voice echoed in his head once more.
"I don't understand." Anko exclaimed. "You are so cold-blooded, yet you couldn't let one girl die for a large sum of money?"
"I…" Jin paused. 'How am I supposed to explain that she just reminded me of Mikoto-san too much?' He thought. "Let's just drop it, okay? I did it and it's just that. But I did it right under Dotou's nose, so he's now offering a bounty for my head as well."
"Wow, that's just…" Tsubaki started, but suddenly she was interrupted by one of the ship's crew members.
"Hey, look at this!" The sailor shouted.
Naruto turned his head. "Well I'll be damned, a motherfucking iceberg…"
"This is… This is… A GIFT HROM THE HEAVENS!" The director shouted. "Let's continue right there!"
"EH?"
On the iceberg…
"Man, that director sure is fucked up in the head." Jin stated, folding his arms.
"Yeah, but you have to give this girl a credit. She sure knows how to play." Anko replied.
"Well, she is after all…" Naruto said, but was suddenly interrupted.
"Kisaragi."
The blond turned his head to see Kakashi and Sasuke approaching him.
"Yes, can I help you, Hatake?"
"Have you been here before?" Masked jounin asked.
"Yes, I was."
"Then you know what we're up against." Kakashi said to what Naruto nodded. "We all know that this film is simply a cover to get Koyuki-hime back."
"That's true." Jin stated. "But our actions depend solely on you."
"What do you mean by that?" Sasuke asked.
Kakashi sighed. "What he meant was that I'm our team's leader. But our mission is to simply protect Koyuki-hime during this trip. To help this rebellion or not is up to me and me only."
"Then I suggest we do it." The Uchiha said immediately. "This might prove a challenge."
"Careful, Uchiha." Naruto replied. "This challenge as you say may be too much for you."
Sasuke glared and was about to respond with one of his signature Uchiha superiority remarks, but before he could do that, he felt Kakashi's hand on his shoulder.
"Enough, Sasuke. Kisaragi is right this time; you don't have very much experience to seek up challenges like you do." Kakashi said and looked at Naruto's sensei. "What do you think, Anko?"
The special jounin smirked evilly. "What do you think I think?" She replied. "Jin-kun said they have shinobi! I'm always up for killing cute little shinobi!"
Kakashi slapped his forehead. "I should've expected that… What about you, Kisaragi?"
Naruto shrugged. "I've said it before; coming here was a big fucking mistake. We…"
"Spoken like a true coward." Sasuke commented.
"We are not protecting ourselves." Jin continued without sparing a glance at the Uchiha. "And the opposition might get good. After what happened last time, I believe Dotou made some arrangements to upgrade his security personnel. We are fighting the unknown…"
"Well, I don't see us fighting anything!" Anko stated. "I'm bored out of my fucking mind here and…"
BLAST.
An explosion shook the entire iceberg.
"Well, here's your fight." Naruto stated in disdain, summoning his katana in his left hand. "I wonder who it is…"
"What happened?" Tsubaki asked, landing beside her teammates with Sakura in tow.
"We heard an explosion! Is everyone alright?" Sakura added.
But no one answered. Everyone was looking at the exploded area. And when the smoke was finally cleared, there stood one woman… a kunoichi… a blonde haired kunoichi.
Naruto's eyebrows shot up. "Of all possible places…" He muttered.
"KISARAGI!" The kunoichi screamed. "You motherfucking son of a bitch!"
Tsubaki snorted. "Are all girls from your past greeting you this way?"
"Nah." Jin replied. "Remember Yukie?"
"Remember Tsunade?"
Naruto's face twisted. "Touché…"
Meanwhile, Kakashi stepped forward. "Nii Yugito from Kumogakure, correct?"
"Correct." The blonde kunoichi spat.
"Well…" Masked jounin continued. "I have a good idea already, but still I must ask. What is your business here?"
"My business?" Yugito hissed. "Well, I guess there will be no harm from telling you. I am here to brutally kill Kisaragi!"
"Ouch!" Jin flinched. "That hurt! And I so hoped for a place in your heart…"
"Shut up!"
"Ah, so you're not here for our client then?" Kakashi asked again.
"You mean that girl?" Yugito pointed at Koyuki. "Nah, she's way below my pay grade…"
Kakashi sighed in relief…
"Well, it's just…"
But suddenly Yugito continued.
"…It's their job." She pointed behind her back and a group of three shinobi appeared.
"Ho!" Naruto exclaimed. "So you decided to bring reinforcements this time, Neko-chan?"
"Fuck you!" Kumo kunoichi yelled. "You will pay for what you did that time!"
"Maa… You fought her too, Kisaragi?" Kakashi asked.
"Nah, not really." Jin replied. "I simply knocked her up and ran away."
"WHAT?" Tsubaki and Yugito shouted at the same time.
"HAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Jin laughed. "That expression was priceless!"
"Why you…!"
"Enough toying with them, Yugito-sempai!" One of the others Kumo ninjas called. "You, Rattlesnake! Tell us which one of you is Kazahana Koyuki!"
Immediately, Naruto pointed his finger at… Sasuke.
"He is!"
"He certainly doesn't look like a princess…" The dark skinned girl replied.
"Well, he certainly acts like one…" Jin said with a smirk, fully aware of Sasuke's death glare directed at him.
"Are you trying to fuck with me?" The girl yelled, grabbing the hilt of her long sword.
"Fuck with you?" Naruto said in amusement. "Are you blind or what? I'm still in my pants, see? How can I fuck like that?"
The girl prepared to lung, but was suddenly stopped by her teammate.
"Enough, Karui. Fighting him is not our job."
"But Darui! That bastard is pushing it!"
"That's exactly what he's trying to do." Dark skinned guy named Darui stated. "If you were to attack him now, he would've simply killed you. Remember who we're dealing with."
"Y-Yeah…" Karui said with a frown.
"Ah! So they're here for our hime-chan after all!" Anko exclaimed, taking out a kunai. "This will be fun!"
"Samui-san?" Darui asked and the last one from the three man cell – a blonde woman with large… ahem, assets stepped forward.
"Jin Kisaragi." Samui began. "Surrender the princess and we might let you go."
"Maa…" Kakashi looked her over. "You sure look confident in your skills… I guess you also know my name."
Samui nodded. "Indeed, Sharingan no Kakashi. We are Kumogakure's elite and…"
"Kh… Kh… Khahahahahahaha!" Naruto laughed. "Elite you say? Pu-lease! If you're Kumogakure's elite, then I'm an Uchiha!"
Samui's eyes narrowed. "We are the elite, and we are fully capable of taking you down."
"Pffffft! Hahahahaha!" Naruto laughed again. "You couldn't take me down last time! And now, even with Neko-chan here, you won't be able to do a shit!"
The blonde Kumo captain smirked. "Oh, you think so?"
"I know so!" Jin replied. "Besides, last time I was alone. This time I have an entire team with two jounins on my side. Face it, you have no chance."
"We do not think so." Darui said.
Naruto shrugged. "Suit yourself. Kakashi, you take that guy with the sword. He's proficient in Suiton, Raiton and kenjutsu so be careful. Anko, that blonde girl is yours. She's pretty average, but she's still a jounin. Tsubaki, that mouthy girl is yours. You should be able to handle her. Uchiha, back her up. Sakura… just shut up and stay put. I'll take Neko-chan."
Tsubaki nodded. "I got it."
"Tch." Sasuke scowled. He didn't like taking orders from Jin, but he will be fighting alongside Tsubaki, so it was not so bad.
"Yay, let's go, Blondie-chan!" Anko exclaimed happily, licking the blade of her kunai.
"Umm… Do you remember that I'm still in charge, Kisaragi?" Kakashi asked and Naruto sighed.
"Fine, what are your orders then?"
"My orders…" Kakashi thought for a moment. "Well, I order everyone to do what Kisaragi just said."
Naruto rolled his eyes. "Very professional, Hatake…" He said, turning to his opponent. "Ready, Neko-chan?"
Yugito glared at him, but…
"Now wait a second!" Sudden voice spoke. "Who will take on me then, mothafucka?"
Naruto's eyes almost bulged out of his skull as he looked at the top of the iceberg.
"Holy fucking shit!" He cursed.
"What? What happened, Jin?" Tsubaki asked in slight worry.
"Kakashi! Change of plans! Emergency withdrawal! NOW!" Naruto shouted.
"What?" Kakashi asked in disbelief. "Who is that?"
"Don't blush and keep your cool!" The voice spoke again. "I'm Kira-bi, you fool!"
"Kira-bi?" Kakashi's eyebrows furrowed. "Never heard of you. Who are…?"
"Kakashi!" Naruto screamed. "This is not the time for talking! Grab everyone and run! I'll hold them off!" He added, turning his back to Yugito.
Big mistake.
"You're mine!" The girl rushed at him with her top speed, throwing a punch at his head.
Sensing her approach, Naruto smirked. "No, you are mine!" He said, sidestepping her attack and kneeing her in the stomach. Then he quickly kicked her under her knee and got behind the girl, placing Yukianesa's blade at her throat. "I knew you won't be able to resist attacking me from behind."
"Damn you, Kisaragi!" Karui shouted, drawing her sword.
"Uh-uh-uh! Hold it!" Naruto exclaimed. "One wrong move and Niibi-chan will lose her pretty little head!"
"Nice, Jin!" Tsubaki cheered.
"No, the situation is still fucked up." Naruto stated. "Now look here…" He said, looking at Kirabi. "You're going to let them leave and I will let her go."
"What do you mean let us leave?" Tsubaki asked in confusion and slight fear.
"I mean that if I go with you, taking her as a hostage, they will simply follow us. I have to stay…"
"No!" Tsubaki shouted. "I will not abandon you! I will…"
"Quiet!" Kakashi interrupted her. "What happened, Kisaragi? You were so determined before…"
"Do you see that guy in sunglasses, Hatake?" Naruto asked. "Well, this is Raikage's brother, as well as Hachibi no jinchuuriki. He can take on our entire team and win. We have no chance."
'Another jinchuuriki?' Kakashi thought in shock. He knew that Yugito was, but that Kira-bi guy too? That was just ridiculous!
Kirabi raised an eyebrow at this. "Surprise that you don't know me, yo! Me and your sensei fighting was a show!"
Kakashi's one visible eye widened. "You… fought sensei?"
"Sure, mothafucka! Or do you think I'm just a baka?"
'Damn, that's not good.'
"But what about you?" Anko asked her student.
"Don't worry, I'll think of something." Jin replied. "Now take Yukie and go!"
"Jin…" The princess spoke sadly. "You… You don't have to do this. If he is after my head, then let him have it. I won't let you sacrifice yourself…"
"No, Yukie." Naruto interrupted. "You promised to live. Besides, he's not after your head… He's after mine. But at least this way I will be the only one to perish."
"No, Jin! I won't let you…!"
SMACK.
Tsubaki fell face forward.
"K-Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura said in shock.
"We have no choice." Masked jounin said, picking up his unconscious subordinate. "I hope you know what you're doing, Kisaragi. Everyone onboard!"
Jin smirked and watched in satisfaction how his teammates got on the ship and sailed away. Now they were only a tiny dot on the horizon.
"Hmhmhmhmhm…" He chuckled. "Worked like a clock."
"Bravo, nice spectacle, mothafucka." Kirabi said clapping his hands. "A beautiful lie."
"Thank you." Naruto grinned and threw Yugito on her back, pointing his blade at her throat. "Now tell me, Neko-chan, are you still a virgin?"
"Fuck you!" The kunoichi threw him a death glare.
"So you are… Dammit, that's unfortunate. I told you to lose it before we meet again."
"Shut up!"
"Oh, Now that's an interesting situation!" Naruto smirked. "Only last time you were a bloody heap…"
"Let her go, Kisaragi." Kirabi said.
"Hn, sure." Jin removed his blade from Yugito's throat and placed it on his shoulder.
Yugito used her chance and got away instantly.
"So… What is your real reason for coming out of your hole, pal?" Jin asked with a smirk. "It can't be working for Dotou, can it?"
"What do you think?" Kirabi asked.
"I see… So? What is it?"
"Hmhmhm… Sharp as always, Rattlesnake." The man in sunglasses stated. "I guess that's why my bro is holding you in such high regards."
Naruto's smirk widened. "That… Or probably the fact that I graced him with that scar across his left eye?"
Kirabi shrugged. "Maybe that too…"
"How dare you!" Karui shouted. "How dare you to speak about Raikage-sama as if…"
"Hishouken!"
Dark skinned girl's eyes widened as Naruto's ice blade approached her. But just before it reached her head…
CRACK.
…It was stopped by Darui's sword.
"That wasn't nice, Jin Kisaragi." He spoke.
"Sorry, I just wanted to shut her up." Naruto apologized, turning back to Kirabi. "So? I'm still waiting for an answer."
"Well you see…" Kirabi started. "After your infiltration…"
"Infiltration?" Naruto exclaimed in amusement. "Shame on you, Neko-chan! How could you deceive the entire village like that?"
"Huh? What are you talking about?"
"Don't listen to him, Kirabi-sensei!" Yugito shouted.
"Sure, what did she tell you? That big bad criminal Jin Kisaragi has infiltrated Kumo to kill the Raikage, or something?"
"Actually yes…"
"Tsk, tsk, tsk… Lying is bad, Neko-chan!"
"Shut up! And stop calling me Neko-chan!"
"Sorry, can't help it. Anyway, I had no desire to infiltrate your village and even less desire to attack your Raikage. I was just meeting with my contact there, nothing more, nothing less. Actually it was a one time thing. We were simply both close to that place, so we decided to meet there. In fact, I was already leaving when dear Neko-chan decided that she should capture me… and alerted the entire village by trying to do so. I managed to beat her two-tailed ass if you remember, but then your brother arrived and I had to hit it."
"I see…" Kirabi nodded. "But it has nothing to do with why I'm here. You see, mothafucka, bro was so fascinated with you that he decided to make you an offer… An offer to join Kumo."
"Eh?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "He would do that after what I did to him?"
"He's doing it because of that, no one was able to hurt him in years and you managed on your first try. And also…" Kirabi paused. "He said that he will train you personally to become the next Raikage."
"WHAT?" Yugito and Karui screamed simultaneously.
"Wow, that's quite the offer…" Naruto concluded. "But can it wait for a bit, like a few years? There are things I must do before…"
"I'm afraid that's not possible." Kirabi interrupted. "Bro's impatient. And he said that if you refuse, then I will have to kill you."
"Tch." Naruto scowled. "I don't wish to fight you, Kirabi."
"Neither do I. And you might avoid it, just say yes."
Naruto closed his eyes and thought for a moment. "I guess I'll test the power of Hachibi after all…"
"So be it." Eight-tailed jinchuuriki stated. "Bad choice, mothafucka…" He added, drawing his seven blades.
"No, it's not." Jin said, closing his eyes. "I'm not afraid of dying; my reason for living was taken from me a long time ago." He then opened his eyes with blazing Sharingan inside. "I am already dead! It's only a question of how many I will take to the underworld with me!"
...
Next time! The conclusion of the Snow country arc and… and a special surprise!
Naruto's rival will arrive! Guess who it is and you will get your own chance to beat the shit out of John Cena… or a candy.
Anyway, fuck like hell and sleep well.
Darthemius.