"Dammit." I growled, staring down at the trickle of blood dripping down my arm. Cutting hurt more than I remembered.

All right, so I was cutting! What of it?! There was no other option to get all of these stupid emotions out(besides drawing or writing, but if you're like me and don't do any of that for shit it makes you feel worse than before looking at it). These emotions...ugh. They were a mish-mash of anger, regret, jealousy, and sadness. It was almost as if Pandora had opened her magic box of evil in my head, letting everything but hope out.

And come on, it was only one measly cut. There wasn't that much blood at all,really. It wasn't like before, at my old school..I'd hurt myself worse there. Yeah..the first year of high school really sucked ass for me. Ah, oh well. That's all said and done now, and I'm sure you'd just like me to get on with my bloody story and find out what happens next, huh?

"LOOOVVIII!" Feliciano's obnoxious voice called to me from downstairs. He had more of an Italian accent, I realized. Perhaps that was one reason why girls fawned over him more than myself. Huh. I'd think about that later, when I didn't have to worry about cleaning up this goddamned mess. "TONI'S HERE TO SEE YOU!"

Oh, so the tomato bastard is 'Toni' now. And he comes over to my house without any invitation. How rude.

Just because I'd been absent for one day doesn't mean I'm fatally ill, thank you very much.

"All right, All right, I'm-a coming," I spoke loudly, wiping the blood off my arm quickly with one hand after licking it. It might sound nasty, but hey, it worked, didn't it?And it's not like I can catch any diseases from myself, huh? I flung the blade across the room and accidently hit the lamp by my computer, knocking it over and onto the floor. Whoopsie. Ah, I could pick it up later. I had a bastard to worry about now.

I trotted down the hall and then stopped. I couldn't be trotting when I saw Antonio, he'd think I was excited to see him or something ridiculous like that. Utter bullshit. I began moving again, this time in a slow gait with my head raised pompously high as I walked down the old creaky wooden stairs, prepping myself to be infuriated by Antonio and his presence in my house.

"Yes, I do think your cat looks a bit ill..." As I arrived downstairs, the first thing I heard was Feliciano and Antonio conversing about the state of the cat. The poor thing had mange, I'd been trying to tell Feliciano that for months now, but he just wouldn't listen to me. Idiot. And why the fuck were they talking about the cat when they could have been talking about me?! Antonio was here to see me, after all, not the retarded cat. BUT WAIT. Something must be wrong with my head- wanting that bastard to talk about me? Was I fucking crazy?!

"Ciao." I approached the island in the middle of the kitchen where Antonio had made himself at home and Feliciano was apparently making some kind of wierd pasta contraption smack dab in the center of the marble counter top. Antonio was fiddling around with a string hanging off his sweatshirt, and he was jiggling his leg under the table, a sure sign that he was uncomfortable. Good.

"Oh, hello," He swiveled around on the spinny-chair he was perched upon to face me. Feliciano simply waved without looking up from his beloved cooking. "I just wanted to drop these flowers off, y'know, to say I'm sorry about your grandpa," Antonio held out a vase full of lilies, pink and white. Wow. That was actually..pretty nice of him. Not that I'd ever say that to him. "Err..thank you." I took the flowers a bit roughly from him, and inspected them. Not a single bug. Impressive. Next, Antonio pulled out a card. It was very ornately decorated, with little doodles. I couldn't help but wonder if he'd done them himself. The designs were swirls, dots, triangles, lines, just everything you could imagine, done on a normal piece of computer paper with what looked like a simple pen. The bastard handed me the card, and I glanced inside it.

I've only known you for a short while,

But I am very sorry for your loss.

Love,

Bel

Oh. So it was not from Antonio...but from Bel-Bel. That certainly was..interesting. Not like I cared if it was from her, but why did she send it to me? The nicest thing I'd ever done for her is to let her copy a math problem that was wrong! Nothing really important or special! Why did she give a crap if my Grandfather died!? I'd only known her for one week! This was ridiculous. I give up with trying to understand girls.

"Yeah..that was about it..Oh, Gil and Francis say that they're sorry too," Antonio added quickly, and I noticed that a look of worry had replaced his usual smile. That certainly was odd, perhaps he was ill. "Uh, all right," I shrugged, unsure of what to say to him. Hopefully that was the end of what he was planning on saying and doing, because that lamp I'd knocked over was still on and that could be a fire hazard. Mom and Dad'll kill me if I burn their house down again.

Toni stood up from the chair and slung his backpack (which had previously been on the floor by his feet) over his shoulder and did a little shuffle thingy to get past me. "I..I gotta go." He mumbled, just loudly enough for me to hear, which really started to worry me. Wait..worry me? Ugh. I shouldn't have to care about others' problems. "Uhhhh...see you.." I turned around and watched Antonio quickly speed walk to the door,fling it open, and then slam it shut. Huh, I thought. Wonder what his problem is.