Darthemius: Hey, guys. It's me again. Okay, no bullshit in this AN… Don't worry, I'll give you an omake next time. Anyway, I have some thoughts to share with you.
Now here is the thought: WHAT IN THE BLUE HELL IS WITH THIS SITE? I mean shit! For the past week I tried my hardest to find a decent Naruto story to read and all I ended up to do was smacking my head on the wall. And during my search I actually managed to find and categorize the most usual fuck ups of people who tried to write a story. And of course I want to share my thoughts with you, people.
Okay, here we go:
Naruto is gifted with… no matter with what. In most cases it goes like this: "Naruto is chosen by some god and blah, blah, blah…" Okay, my question is… why? Why in the blue hell will some god will choose him for anything, better yet, granting him power for nothing. And don't tell me because of his kind heart. People, that's just ridiculous. The only two free things in this world are cheese in a mouse trap and shit in my toilet. And that's not the worst thing! They give Naruto some godlike powers, make him shove Sasuke around, but then lose to someone like Itachi. Serious people? With godlike powers? Okay, that's one…
Next is… oh yes, the love to make Naruto the way he is in manga. Guys I swear, if I see another "Will Naruto become Hokage?" I'm gonna kill someone. Let me ask you this… WHO GIVES A CRAP? I don't even care if Naruto becomes Hokage in the manga! And it's either that, or his 'protect precious people' thing… or even both. Damn it to hell! Can someone change SOMETHING? I mean hell, let him still be good, just throw these two things away for Christ's sake! Also the knucklehead… damn, I hate the word! Stop portraying him as a moron, try something else.
Okay, here we've approached my favorite point. The point I call 'Dark Naruto Fuck Up'. Yep, I think many of you has stumbled on shit like this before. Some author making a dark Naruto story… with a summary like "…Naruto will use this darkness to become the Hokage and show other people what he's capable off". O-Okay… Do you people even realize how stupid this idea is? How in the blue hell is this different from the original Naruto wanting to become Hokage? Don't bother, it is not. Then there is also a problem with 'Dark' Naruto becoming 'Light' Naruto again because of some shit someone told him (Hinata, Sakura, Kushina etc.) Now I say these authors should write this in their summary. I mean hell, I read through half of the story only to learn that Naruto will become good again!
Then is romance… Damn, how should I put it? I don't really hate romance, hell it is present even in EHD, not even speaking about this fic. But people, a romance based Naruto fic? Come on! The entire story he's trying to decide who's better, Sakura or Hinata. Hinata has an amazing ass, but Sakura gives those terrific blowjobs! Also, how can someone write a sex scene with Hinata if she's fainting from his TOUCH? No, don't get me wrong, I think every good story should have a little bit of romance, it just shouldn't be the main course of the story.
And the worst. Making Naruto a woman or worse… a gay. I don't even want to comment that…
So this is it, guys, my top five points of what a good story should NOT have. Hell, I could even post it as a challenge but I doubt anyone will try it.
Oh, and before we start with the chapter I wanted to bring two more things to your attention.
First is for people who are saying that someone is a better Dark Naruto writer because his Naruto is more Dark/Evil. Now let me ask you this, is this really what determines story's quality? Guys, it doesn't matter if their Naruto is darker! What does matter is if the plot is better, the twists are rougher, action is more electrifying and mysteries are more interesting.
And second is for people who are continuing to bring kenichi618, or whatever the fuck his name is, to my attention, saying how he writes so quickand so much. Sigh… for the record, I read his stories. Take 'Sealed kunai' for example. The beginning plot was not so bad, but I couldn't move past… fifth chapter or something because of his manner of writing. I mean shit, he can write a full chapter of two guys fighting with enormous amount of 'He ducked under this' and 'She jumped over that'. But I always got lost somewhere in the middle, trying to imaging just what in the hell was he trying to express. And when it actually ends you end up forgetting why these two morons even squared off!
I mean yeah, someone said that I write action scenes to mildly. But I'm telling you, it's not an anime! Hell, not even a manga! Sure, I can create an epic fight in my head. But if I'll try to describe it with words it will end up being ridiculous.
Okay, sorry about all this crap, I just needed to spill my mind to someone and… you know what, I have an idea about another Naruto story, but I think my hands won't reach it anytime soon. So if any of you are interested… I just want to warn you that it won't be an easy story to write and it will require a person with a very good sence of humor.
Whew, that's all I wanted to say. Here's the damn chapter…
...
Chapter eighteen: Out of the bag.
"Shin-ne!" – talks.
'Nah.' – thoughts.
...
Konohagakure no sato. Random street…
"Damn, I'm going to hell for it." Yuhi Kurenai said, walking beside Naruto.
"What for?" The blond asked.
"You know damn well for what! I raped a teenager!" Kurenai shouted… only then realizing that it was in fact a busy street.
"Really? Who was that lucky guy?" Naruto asked again.
"Umm… you."
"I don't remember you raping me." He replied, raising an eyebrow.
"But when we…"
"No, that doesn't count." Jin interrupted. "First of all, I wasn't really resisting. And second, I was barely able to hold myself when I saw you tied to a chair with no clothes on."
"B-But what about your virginity?"
Naruto snorted. "What about it? I lost it years ago."
"But…!"
"Stop bitching, Kurenai. Back then you were screaming "More!" and "Fuck me harder!" and "Take my ass!" Shit, when you came that last time, windows broke from your scream! And now you feel bad about it? Come on."
The woman bit her lower lip as her face became the same color as her eyes. "But I always thought you should only do this with someone you truly like…"
Naruto rolled his eyes. He was really starting to get annoyed by this.
"Then consider that I really like you." He exclaimed. "Now go home and get some rest."
"Umm… What about you?"
He sighed. "I still need to report to the Hokage…"
"Oh… okay then…" She said with a small frown.
"You sound disappointed." Jin stated. "Did you want to invite me for a coffee?"
Kurenai's eyes widened. "No, I just…"
"Relax, I'm just fucking with you."
"Oh… Don't do that."
"Sure… Once you say you don't like it."
Kurenai said nothing.
"I thought so. Anyway, I'll see you later." With that Naruto turned around and walked away in the direction of Hokage's tower. 'What a week…'
Indeed. It started when that piece of shit Kakashi gave up the information about Jin to Minato… A shitload of good it did, since Minato confessed that he already knew all that. Yeah, it was foolish to count on Jiraiya's silence.
And though withholding the information, especially one not really related to Konoha's security, was not actually a crime, it gave Yondaime another excuse to give Jin and Anko another set of D-rank missions.
And so the crap began anew. The only good side was that he had free evenings… which Anko took full advantage of. And that's how half of the week went.
Then in the middle of it Jin woke up next to a very drunk, very smiling and very naked Anko. And when I say drunk, I mean drunk as shit.
He was about to stand up and get dressed when a bird flew in through the open window. And after slapping himself, realizing that the entire village probably heard Anko's screams last night, he noticed that this bird actually carried a letter from the Hokage. Apparently good old Yondaime needed them for some reason. Naruto spared Anko a quick glance and realized immediately that she was in no condition to go anywhere.
So he chose the only possible solution and came by himself.
There at the tower he learned that apparently team eight got ambushed by some fuck. The worst thing was that Kurenai was captured.
And of course Minato couldn't find anyone better to send.
Naruto took a deep breath. 'Well, at least it was useful as well as refreshing…' He thought, touching a sword hilt in his pocket.
Flashback…
"A kid? They send a kid after me?"
Naruto flinched. "Stop shouting, damn it. My head is killing me…"
"Insolent boy! Do you have any idea who you're dealing with?"
"I don't really give a damn about who you are as long as you don't scream..."
"We'll see about that!" Unnamed shinobi took out a sword handle. "I am Rokujou Aoi! And I have the sword of Raijin in my possession!"
Naruto raised an eyebrow skeptically. "So?"
"So? SO? I'm invincible with it! And…"
"I told you not to scream. Hishouken!"
CRACK.
Naruto tilted his head when his blade of ice got destroyed by yellow energy blade.
"Hahaha!" Aoi laughed loudly. "The sword of Raijin can cut through anything and…"
"Amaterasu!"
"!" Aoi screamed like a madman as his body was suddenly covered in black flames.
"Oh fuck…!" Naruto clutched his head in pain. "Stupid motherfucker." He slowly walked forward and picked up the sword of Raijin, placing it in his pocket.
"I warned you. Oh, and call me later and say if you were able to cut through this." He said, walking away.
End flashback…
'Damn, I thought I was gonna rape her when I found her.' Naruto thought, remembering the moment he found Kurenai. 'Thank God that moron gave her some aphrodisiac… I wonder tough. It should've acted for about an hour… then why were we fucking for two days straight? Bah, no matter.'
"Ah, Kisaragi-kun!" The reception girl greeted him.
"Hey there!" Jin winked at her. "Is the Hokage here?"
The girl paused. "He's here, yes, but…"
"Thanks, I'll find my way."
"No, wait!" She called for him, but Naruto already left.
"Fucking Konoha and fucking reports." He muttered to himself. "At least with Orochimaru there were no reports…"
Suddenly…
"You imbecile!" The Hokage shouted from his office.
"Huh?" Naruto opened the door slightly and looked inside. 'Now what do you know!'
There were unusually many people inside. Minato himself, his fucking wife, Kakashi, Ibiki and Iruka…
'Wait, Iruka? What the fuck is that moron doing here? He looks way out of picture among these guys…'
"Forgive me, Hokage-sama." Iruka said apologetically. "How could I know? I'm just a chuunin!"
"That's why you should've waited for me to return!"
"B-But it was a grave matter and you said… not to disturb you…"
Both Minato and Kushina blushed at this.
"It's useless to discuss now." Kakashi spoke. "What happened happened. Now we must fix this."
Naruto's eyebrows furrowed. 'What are they talking about?'
Minato sighed heavily. "I know, I know… Damn, you idiot! Why did you send Tsubaki after him?"
'Tsubaki? Went away? Fucking shit! I must go there…' Naruto's train of thoughts was suddenly interrupted when…
"But Sasuke is just a genin. I thought it would be appropriate to send a team of genins after him…"
That was all Naruto needed to hear. He instantly jumped out of the corridor window and started to run full speed towards the main gates…
The main gates…
"Hello, Izumo, Kotetsu."
"Ah, welcome back, Hayate-san!" Kotetsu greeted with a smile. "How is your health?"
The jounin nodded. "Fine, thank you. In fact I felt so good that I finally got the guts to…"
"To do what?"
"Well…" Hayate scratched the back of his head. "I kind of… asked Yugao the question…"
"Oh?" Izumo exclaimed in surprise. "Really? And?"
Hayate gave a million dollar smile. "Yup, she said yes."
"Ho boy! Looks like we're gonna get drunk soon!" Kotetsu cheered. "When's the wedding?"
"The sooner the better." Hayate replied. "Yugao said she has a bad feeling about something, so we shouldn't delay it. Well, you know how women are."
"I sure do, but…" Kotetsu's eyes narrowed. "Is that Jin Kisaragi?"
Izumo and Hayate turned their heads. Indeed, Jin Kisaragi was running at them very fast.
"Looks like that's him." Izumo stated. "Where is he going though? He just got back and was not cleared by Hokage-sama to leave."
Hayate's eyebrows furrowed as he stepped in the middle of the road right on Naruto's path.
"Jin Kisaragi. You were not authorized to leave." He began seriously. "If you want to leave you should speak this matter with Hokage-sama and…"
"Musou!" Without stopping Naruto created a platform of ice, jumped on top of it and flew at Hayate even faster than before.
The jounin drew his sword. "I'm warning you, Kisaragi…"
"Tesshougeki!" Naruto drew his blade faster than normal human eye can see and with one horizontal swing…
SLASH.
…Hayate's head was swiftly removed from his shoulders.
"HAYATE!" Kotetsu screamed. "Get this bastard!"
"On it!" Izumo replied as they both started to pursue Jin, but quickly found that to be impossible.
"Fuck, he's too fast!"
"We must tell this to Hokage-sama!"
Hokage's office…
"We need to assemble a team." Minato spoke. "Kakashi, you will be the leader. We'll need more jounins."
"I suggest Gai, Asuma and Anko." Ibiki spoke.
"Anko is out of it… again." Minato stated.
"Then Kurenai."
"She as well…"
"Damn, we'll need another member."
"Say, what if we send that boy… Jin Kisaragi?" Kushina suggested.
"NO!" Kakashi and Ibiki shouted at the same time.
"Why not?" The woman asked. "He cares for Tsubaki and…"
"I agree with them this time, sweetheart." Minato said. "I don't trust him, and trust is crucial in this mission. If Akatsuki will attack…"
Suddenly…
CRASH.
"What the hell!" Minato yelled, taking out some of his kunais. "Sensei? What is the meaning of this?"
"I'm sorry for the broken window, Minato, but we have a situation." The toad hermit spoke.
"Indeed we do." Minato replied. "Tsubaki went out without a jounin and…"
"It's not important." The sannin interrupted. "It is very unlikely for Akatsuki to attack her now."
"And why is that?"
"They will need to catch all other biju first." Jiraya stated. "But we have another problem. Call Kisaragi in here NOW!"
Ibiki gritted his teeth. "I'm sorry, Jiraya-sama, but what can you possibly want with him?"
The sannin sighed. "My contact from Rice Field country managed to dig out some very disturbing information. The information is about Kisaragi." He paused. "First I managed to learn that Kisaragi was Orochimaru's student."
Minato nodded. "That explains his strength. What else?"
"Oh, it's getting better! Apparently his goal is to kill an Uchiha!" Jiraya stated. "Sounds familiar?"
Kakashi's eyebrows rose. "He wants to kill Sasuke? But that's illogical. He had plenty of opportunities to do that!"
"That's strange indeed." Minato muttered. "Do you have something more?"
"I do…" Jiraya spoke in grave voice. "He has Sharingan."
Yondaime's eyes bulged out of his skull. "Red eyes… Back then when I was fighting Orochimaru I saw a pair of burning red eyes! That's what I saw, Sharingan! It was Kisaragi, he put me in that coma!"
Ibiki grinned evilly. "I'll have him arrested in no time!"
"No, I suggest we call him here. Let's not raise havoc if it can be avoided." Kakashi replied.
"Aren't you forgetting something, Minato?" Jiraya asked, ignoring Kakashi and Ibiki.
Minato paused. 'I am… But what?' Then his eyebrows shot up. 'A barrier! There was a barrier around us! There is no way he could possibly get inside, unless…'
"Sensei?" Kakashi asked worriedly.
Ignoring him, Yondaime walked to his desk and took out a file. It stated 'Jin Kisaragi' on the cover.
'I have to check it…' Minato thought. Then he took out a pencil and wrote six lines on Jin's cheeks… And once he did that his heart skipped a beat.
"What's wrong, Minato?" Kushina asked quietly.
"Realised it, haven't you?" Jiraya asked.
Yondaime pushed a button on his desk with somewhat shaking hand. "Saeko! Bring me Jin Kisaragi this instant!"
After a slight pause the response came…
"B-But he went upstairs twenty minutes ago, Hokage-sama. I thought he was with you…"
Hokage's eyes widened even more. "Don't tell me…"
"He heard everything." Jiraya stated.
"Gh." Minato clenched his fist and hit his desk. "Ibiki!"
ANBU commander nodded and snapped his fingers. Immediately a single woman dressed in ANBU gear and cat mask appeared in a puff of smoke.
"You called, Ibiki-sama?"
"Yugao, bring me two squads now! This is an emergency!"
"H-Hai!" She replied. "What is the mission?"
"The mission…" Ibiki began, but suddenly stopped when the door suddenly opened.
"HOKAGE-SAMA!" Flushed Izumo and Kotetsu rushed inside. "We have major news!"
"It can't be more important than what we have right now." Ibiki said back. "Now I'll ask you to leave…"
"But it's Jin Kisaragi!"
Minato's ears perked up. "What about Kisaragi?"
"He… He has betrayed us, Hokage-sama!" Kotetsu stated.
"What do you mean betrayed?"
"He escaped the village and…"
"And what?"
Kotetsu gulped the lump in his throat after noticing Yugao. "It's Hayate-san…"
Yugao's heart ached. "W-What about Hayate?"
"He…" Kotetsu paused. "He tried to stop Kisaragi on his way and… and Kisaragi, he… he killed him."
Yugao's legs gave in as she fell on her knees. "No… no…"
"Damn it all to hell!" Minato shouted. "You will be the last member of the team, sensei! Protect Tsubaki and bring Kisaragi back! Alive."
Ibiki's eyes widened. "But Hokage-sama!"
"I gave you my orders! Your mission starts NOW!"
With Naruto…
"I'm a roller, babe! I'm a rider babe! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Naruto sang, flying through Fire Country's woods on his ice platform. "Well, here goes my fucking cover. Bah, who cares! I won't need it anymore! The only thing that matters is to catch up with little Sasuke. I wonder who good old Orochi sent to retrieve him…"
And just as he said that a huge Choji appeared in midair not far away.
CRASH.
Choji's massive body fell, creating a big impact.
"Holy shit!" Naruto exclaimed. "I swear Konoha reminds me of circus. They consider transformation from one huge fat useless piece of trash to one ENORMOUS fat useless piece of trash a jutsu! Ridiculous… Still, let's check this out."
Further ahead…
"I never expected to use level two against a loser like you. But now that I did, it's over."
SMACK.
"Uaaaaaaah!" Choji fell on his back, reverting to his normal form. 'Damn, this guy is too strong…' He thought. 'I only have one pill left, but if I use it…'
Suddenly…
"My! Looks like two pieces of trash have found each other!"
Choji's opponent jumped, recognizing the voice. "Rattlesnake!"
"Long time no see, Jirobou!" Naruto greeted with a smirk. "Did you miss me?"
"Not nearly so." Jirobou took a battle stance.
"Ahh! That's what I always liked about you, the honesty!" Naruto stated. "After all, only a dumb piece of shit will tell the truth to his enemy."
"What do you want, Rattlesnake?"
"Hmhmhm…" Jin chuckled. "I want to get blowjobs every morning! But if you meant from you… Tell me, did Orochimaru send you morons after the Uchiha?"
"Yes."
"Kimimaro?"
"…No."
"Ah, that's good to know."
"I'll ask again…" Jirobou tensed. "Why are you here, Rattlesnake?"
"Oh, sorry. I just came to see your fight…" The blond started, grinning evilly. "And it was so pathetic that I decided to simply kill both of you."
Jirobou gritted his teeth. "Don't compare me with this piece of trash!"
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Naruto laughed hard. "Why not? After all, you're completely the same!"
"We're nothing alike!"
"Oh really? Because if my memory serves me correctly, you were the weakest among the six. And this loser…" Jin pointed at Choji. "Well, I don't know who exactly came along with him, but I'm sure he was the weakest among them. Yeah, total loser."
What he didn't know is that his words hurt Choji more than anything Jirobou did to him before.
"I'm not going down without a fight, Rattlesnake!"
Naruto snorted. "Fight? You? Don't bullshit me, you can't do that!"
"Grrr!" Jirobou growled. "I became much stronger! Now you will see for yourself! HAAAAAAAA!"
Naruto watched in amusement how the large teen rushed at him with his top speed… The keyword his top speed. From Naruto's point of view he moved like in slow motion.
"Take this! Crushing Palm!" Jirobou struck with his right hand, but…
SLASH.
…Next second it was sliced off.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Jirobou screamed in pain, falling to his knees.
"Stronger you say?" Naruto mocked. "I see no difference."
"Fuck you, Rattlesnake! You may kill me, but you won't catch up with others! They should be in Otogakure by now!"
Naruto only grinned evilly at this and raised Jirobou's head by his hair, looking him in the eye.
"Is that so?" He said in amusement. "Well I think that all your friends are already dead!" With that he dropped Jirobou's head and took his sword by the handle. "Fubuki!"
And just like that, Jirobou's head was clearly removed from his shoulders.
"One down." Naruto stated, sheathing his blade. "Three to go." He turned around to leave, when…
"Cough… Jin!"
The blond glanced over his shoulder to see Choji, who was barely able to stand.
"Oh? So you're still alive? A shame…"
Choji's eyebrows furrowed. "You're not our reinforcements, are you?"
Naruto faked a surprise. "Wow! Did you guess it by yourself, or someone told you?"
"You… You traitor…" Choji spoke. "I will not let you reach the others!" He took out the red pill. "I will…"
"Hishouken!"
"W-What…?" Choji looked down in shock. There was an ice blade, sticking out of his stomach.
"I have no time to waste on you, useless garbage." Naruto said and jumped away.
"I'm sorry… Shikamaru…" Choji muttered as the darkness consumed him. "Looks like… I was no good… after… all…"
Back with Naruto…
"So ease down, and wrap your legs around me babe! Wrap your legs around me babe!" Naruto sang, flying through the forest again. "I wonder who will be the next o… oppa. Now that's unexpected…" He said, looking down.
What was so unexpected? Well, there was Hinata sitting under a tree. She was bruised and battered, but Naruto could spot no significant damage done to her. But that's not what surprised him, oh no. What was, is that about five meters from her laid a body of his old teammate Kidomaru… dead body in fact. Naruto even activated his Sharingan to make sure and…
'Yep, dead as dead can be.' He thought, jumping off his ice platform and landing in front of Hinata.
"Wha…!" The girl tried to stand up sharply, but failed. She was too exhausted to even stand. "J-Jin-kun!"
"Hey there, girl!" Naruto greeted with a smile. "You did quite a number on that loser I see."
"H-Hai." Hinata nodded. "He was very strong, but I…"
"He? Strong?" Naruto interrupted. "Don't be ridiculous. He was just a dumb piece of trash like the rest of his team."
"Well, it did not seem this way to me."
"I know better, believe me."
"And how is that?"
"Why, I was his team leader after all!" Naruto stated, grinning evilly.
Hinata's eyes widened. "Jin-kun… You…"
"Yup, me."
"Are you here to help us?"
"Well… no, actually no." He replied. "I betrayed Konoha and right now I'm trying to catch up with little Sasuke so I can kill him. As for you…" He outstretched his right hand. "Hishou…"
Hinata was not even trying to struggle. She just looked at him with her big white eyes.
"Then again…" Naruto lowered his hand. "It's not like you're in any condition to stop me. Consider this a token of respect for killing this moron." He winked at her, then turned around and started to walk away. "Oh, and when you see the Hokage, tell him I said 'Go fuck yourself'."
Further ahead…
"Damn!" Tayuya cursed, hiding behind a tree. 'Fucking sand bitch! Things were going so smoothly until she came! I swear I'm gonna fuck this shithead so badly for dragging me into this shit! And…'
"Kuchiose: Kiri Kiri Mai!"
Tayuya glanced around the tree and her eyes widened. "Holy fucking shit!" She exclaimed, seeing how trees got sliced to small pieces by wind. "I could really use some help…"
"This is incredible!" Shikamaru stated. "There is no way she can dodge that!"
Temari smirked. "You bet she can't!"
Suddenly…
"Hyoku Getsumei!"
"WHAT?" The sand kunoichi exclaimed in shock when her summon got hit with an arrow of… ice.
(Starting song: Gluttony Fang by Daisuke Ishiwatari)
"Move over baby, get on your knees! I'm gonna drive this little red love machine!"
Tayuya closed her eyes and smiled. "I knew you would come, shithead."
"Had you any doubts?" Naruto asked, landing beside her.
"Jin!" Temari shouted.
"What are you doing here, Kisaragi?" Shikamaru asked with narrowed eyes.
"Now that's an interesting question…" Naruto replied, picking Tayuya up by her hair. "Well? Did you miss me, bitch?"
The girl smirked in response. "You bet I did, asshole!" With that she wrapped her arms around his head and pulled him in a deep fierce kiss.
"What?" Temari gasped in shock.
"Just as I suspected." Shikamaru stated.
Meanwhile Naruto and Tayuya broke their lip lock. "Huff… Huff… You fucking piece of shit! Leaving me hanging for so long! What gentleman leaves his lady without a good fuck?"
"Did I tell you that I like you more in this form?" Naruto said with a smile. "Besides, couldn't you find a suitable replacement while I was gone?"
"No fucking way!" She replied. "The only one who I could allow to touch me is Kimimaro… and we both know he's a fucking gay."
"Yeah, sad but true…" Naruto said with a sigh. "So tell me, where is our little Sasuke-kun?"
Tayuya bit her lower lip. "Well, there were… complications."
Naruto's smile dropped. "Continue."
Red haired girl sighed, reverting back from her level two form. "Everything was going according to your plan… Until Kimimaro came…"
Naruto slapped his face. "I should've known. Is the Uchiha in the barrel?"
"Yes." Tayuya nodded. "But you should hurry. He will break out soon."
"Alright, looks like I will have to finish my business with Kimimaro first." Jin stated. "Now you know what to do. Go you-know-where and prepare for the you-know-what."
"Got it." Tayuya nodded again. "What about these two?" She pointed at Shikamaru and Temari.
"I'll deal with them. Now go."
Tayuya did several hand seals and disappeared in a puff of smoke.
"Now then." Naruto turned to Shikamaru and Temari. "Let's deal with you first."
"I always knew you were a traitor, Kisaragi." Shikamaru stated with a glare.
Naruto snorted. "Sure, for what good it did."
"I will not let you advance any further!"
"Hishouken!"
"Gah!"
"Damn, I missed…" Jin muttered, seeing how his blade pierced Shikamaru's shoulder. "I won't miss again." He said, glancing at Temari who was watching him expectantly the entire time.
And once he did a slight head motion towards the so-called genius, she understood immediately what to do.
"Hishouken!"
CRACK.
"Oh?" Naruto faked his surprise when Temari crushed his ice blade with her fan. "Do you really want to face me, girl? Remember what I did to your brother?"
Temari understood that it was her time to speak. "Tch. We can't win this battle." She stated, helping Shikamaru up. "We have to retreat."
"It's troublesome, but you're right." Shikamaru replied. "I will not forget this, Kisaragi."
"Sure, you do that, pal." Jin said just before they disappeared in a puff of smoke. "Now then… Time to settle the score."
With Konoha team…
"What's our status?" Jiraiya asked one of Kakashi's summons, named Pakkun.
"I can sense someone's presence nearby and we're catching up to Tsubaki-san's team but…"
"But?"
"But Jin Kisaragi is outrunning us. His scent is becoming weaker…"
"You mean he's actually moving faster than we do?" Gai asked in surprise.
"It's not just that." Pakkun said. "I can't smell him on the ground or trees. There is only a faint presence in the wind. It's like he's… flying."
"He's probably using that Musou technique of his." Kakashi said. "I saw him use it against Zabuza."
"Damn it!" Jiraiya cursed. "No matter, we just need to get to Tsubaki-chan until he does anything."
"Hey, Yugao?"
"…"
"Yugao!"
"Huh?" Cat masked ANBU snapped out of her thoughts. "Yes, what is it, Kakashi-senpai."
Masked jounin sighed. "Look, Yugao, I know what you're feeling, and I sure as hell don't know what possessed Minato-sensei to give that 'capture alive' order, but he gave it. And it is our mission to follow his command.
Yugao clenched her fists. "You understand me? I think not!" She snapped at him. "That bastard took away my team… he took away Hayate… He got into our village and threw our kindness in our face! And I will not stop until I see him die!"
Kakashi closed his eyes for a moment. "Well, that is just…"
"Everybody stop!" Jiraiya commanded and the group halted its advance.
"What is it, Jiraiya-sama?" Gai asked.
The toad sannin pointed his finger. "Look there."
"That's…" Asuma's eyes widened. "That's Choji!" He shouted and rushed to his student's aid.
"Oh my God…" Gai exclaimed when they got closer. No one else said a thing, but they all thought the same.
Akimichi Choji was lying on his back in a pool of his own blood… and with a blade of ice sticking out of his stomach.
"Kisaragi!" Yugao screamed in rage. "Just you wait, you son of a bitch!"
"Calm down, Yugao. You're not helping." Jiraiya said. "What's his status?"
Asuma checked his student's pulse and sighed in relief. "He's alive, but badly hurt. He needs to be hospitalized immediately."
The toad summoner nodded. "Very well. I believe you should take care of it, Asuma. He's your student after all."
"Hai." Asuma replied, picking Choji up. "Be sure to kick Kisaragi's ass for me."
"You bet I will!" Yugao stated.
"Alright, moving out…"
Back with Naruto…
"Ryusa Bakuryu!"
"WhooHooHooHoo!" Naruto exclaimed jumping from the tree he was hiding behind. "Looks like tanuki-kun really decided to wrap this up!" He said, watching down from his ice platform how Gaara's jutsu changed the landscape.
"Guh!" Kimimaro grunted as he was caught and buried under a massive amount of sand.
"Ho! Looks like Kimi-chan got caught!" Naruto commented in amusement.
"Sabaku Taisou!"
"Ouch!" Naruto winced. "And fucked… Nice knowing you, Kimi-chan." He sighed. "And here I actually thought that I'll have a chance to finish him up myself…"
Suddenly…
BLAST.
Kimimaro erupted from the sand already in his level two form and rushed straight at Gaara.
Naruto actually smiled after seeing that. "Man this guy is stubborn!"
Meanwhile Kimimaro reached Gaara, despite sand user's attempts to prevent that, and knocked him down with a hard punch to the face.
"Dah!" Gaara gasped as his body rolled on the ground.
"Is that all your sand defense capable of?" Kimimaro mocked, creating a sharp spike from his hand. "Die!"
Gaara could do nothing except widen his eyes at his incoming enemy, but…
"Konoha Senpu!"
SMACK.
"Grr." Kimimaro growled dangerously as he took a hit in the face from Rock Lee. "You again. You got in my way for the last time!" He was about to rush at Lee and finish him off when sand started to swirl around Gaara madly. "What the…"
"I won't give up my new dream so easily!" The red head shouted. "I won't lose… even if I'll have to use its power again!"
Kimimaro tilted his head to the side. 'What power is he talking about?'
'Oppa!' Naruto thought from his hiding place. 'Uh-uh! I think not!'
"Graaaaaaaaahhhh!" Sand already started to cover Gaara's right arm, when…
"Not so fast, Tanuki-chan!" Jin Kisaragi jumped over his head, doing a spinning somersault, and quickly placed a small paper seal on Gaara's forehead.
"AH!" The sand user gasped in shock, and his eyes slowly rolled into the back of his head, just before he fell over unconscious.
"Safe!" Naruto stated happily.
"Kisaragi-kun?" Lee said in confusion. "What are you doing?"
Ignoring him, Naruto turned to Kimimaro. "Hello again, Kimi-chan. How are you feeling?" He mocked.
Kimimaro's eyes narrowed. "Jin… I'm glad you're here."
Said blond raised an eyebrow. "How so?"
"Because now I can die by your hand instead of dying like trash from illness."
"I see…" Naruto took a battle stance. "Well, since both of us seem to have little time to spare, how about we get straight to business?"
"I was about to suggest that." Kimimaro replied, doing the same.
"Wait a minute!" Lee came forward. "What is…?" But he was not allowed to finish because…
"Hishouken!"
"Hessendan!"
Both Naruto and Kimimaro fired their favorite projectiles… But the thing is they both fired at Lee. The green clad genin managed to dodge at the last moment, but it was a really close call.
"Get lost, trash." The last Kaguya said. "This is a duel between Jin and me."
Naruto grinned. "You heard the man, clown. Now scram."
Lee glared at them. "I will not back down! I'll prove that I can be an excellent ninja and…!"
"I've had enough of you." Jin looked at him over his shoulder and Lee's jaw fell in shock.
"S-Sharingan? But that's impossib…"
"Genjutsu: Shiranui!"
And just as Naruto said that, Lee immediately found himself surrounded by darkness and several blue flames… which were slowly advancing on him.
"No…" He exclaimed in fear. "No, back away! Get away! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"
"Hmhmhm…" Naruto chuckled after Lee fell on the ground face first. "Fucking Konoha pests."
"Before we start, Jin… Were you able to do what you wanted in Konoha?" Komomaro asked.
"I did actually."
"I see… That's good."
Naruto's eyebrows furrowed. "Why is that good?"
Kimimaro closed his eyes. "Because despite everything I still consider you my friend."
"Even after I in fact killed you?"
The albino paused. "…Yes, even after that. Now, give me a glorious end I desire."
A small smirk formed on Naruto's lips. "Very well, old friend. Consider this my parting gift!"
With that two friends rushed at each other and struck with their respective weapons.
CLANG.
Valley of the End…
"SASUKE!"
The last Uchiha stopped his advance and turned around slowly.
"Ah, so it is you…" He began. "I never expected you to come here and try to stop me."
"What the hell are you doing, Sasuke?" Tsubaki shouted in anger. "Why did you leave the village?"
Sasuke only tilted his head to the side. "Hn. This useless village holds nothing for me. I need power… power to defeat him. So I'm going to Orochimaru for it."
"Tch." Tsubaki threw her Hiraishin kunai over the river and next moment she was already on top of Sasuke with her fist ready to strike. "You bastard!"
SMACK.
Tsubaki punched Sasuke right in the face.
"Are you done?" He asked calmly. "If so, then get off of me. I still have to go…"
"Shut up!" Tsubaki yelled, punching him again. "You want power?"
SMACK.
"Power to defeat the one who killed your family?"
SMACK.
"And you'll do anything to get it?"
SMACK.
"Even betray those who care about you?"
She tried to punch him again, but this time Sasuke simply caught her fist like it was nothing.
"Care about me?" He growled lowly. "How… How dare you!"
"Gah!" Tsubaki gasped when he threw her off of him hard enough that she flew several feet backwards.
"Huff… Huff…" Sasuke tried his hardest to contain his anger. "How dare you say that to me!"
Tsubaki's eyes widened. She never expected this reaction from him. "S-Sasuke…? What are you talking about? Of course I care about you, you are my…"
"Friend?" He interrupted. "Yeah, I thought so too… until last mission that is! I heard you! I heard everything!"
"What are you talking about?"
"That time on the ship… when you were alone with Kisaragi. I heard what you said."
Tsubaki looked at him in shock. "Sasuke… you're…"
The Uchiha looked away from her. "That is in the past now. Go back to your precious Jin-kun and leave me alone."
The girl stood up slowly. "You know I can't do that. You're still a ninja of Konoha…"
"Not anymore." Sasuke said, throwing his headband away. "I'm not going to return, Tsubaki. Now go away, I don't want to fight you."
"I don't want to fight you too…" The girl took a battle stance. "But I will if that's what it takes to bring you home!"
"I see…" Sasuke closed his eyes, and when he opened them his Sharingan was already activated. "Then you leave me no choice…"
Back with Naruto…
CLANG. CLANG. CLANG.
"Touga Hyojin!" Naruto swung his sword, sending a cutting wave of ice at his opponent.
Kimimaro quickly sidestepped the attack and rushed forward, striking with two bone blades.
"Tsubaki-no Mai!"
"Hirensou!" Naruto countered, freezing both swords and cutting them down afterwards.
"Tch." Kimimaro grunted, creating two new blades from his shoulders. "You're as good as ever, Jin. I'm proud to call you, my friend." He stated with a smile.
To his surprise Naruto smiled back. "Same here, pal. Even on your death bed you fight like a lion." He frowned. "A shame, really… I wish we have met before you met Orochimaru."
"Yes, I wish the same… However… Cough…!"
Naruto's eyebrows rose when Kimimaro was suddenly overcome by a coughing fit.
"Damn it! My body is starting to fail me…"
Jin's smile faded. "Then I guess we should finish this quickly…"
"That we do…" Kimimaro stood up shakily. "But I have the last request, will you hear it?"
"Yes." Naruto nodded. "What is it?"
"I… Cough… I want you to use that move." Kimimaro stated. "I want to try and overcome it one last time…"
"I… Very well." Naruto took a battle stance. "Come."
Kimimaro smiled genuinely. "Thank you, old friend… and farewell. HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Naruto watched somewhat sadly how his opponent rushed at him with his top speed… How he struck with his blades… and finally…
"Kokuujin…"
CLANG.
"…Yukikaze."
Naruto and Kimimaro stood motionlessly back to back for several moments. Then finally…
"How… fast…" Kimimaro whispered just before…
SPLASH.
…A fountain of blood erupted from his chest.
"Guah!" The last Kaguya fell on his back. "Cough… Cough… Looks like… I couldn't beat it after all."
Naruto just continued to stay there motionlessly, refusing to look at his downed friend.
"I thank you, Jin Kisaragi, for giving me this final battle." Kimimaro continued. "The Uchiha escaped… cough… He will try to reach Orochimaru-sama on his own… cough… That red haired girl went after him. Find them, Jin… Fulfill your dream… And promise me that you will give me a rematch when we meet again… in the… underworld…" And with that Kimimaro Kaguya released his last breath.
"Hn." Naruto exclaimed, running his hand through his hair. "No. We will never meet again, Kimimaro… You won't be able to reach the lowest circle of hell. After all, you were never a traitor. Farewell, old friend…"
Valley of the end…
"CHIDORI!"
"RASENGAN!"
BLAST!
Both Sasuke and Tsubaki got thrown backwards from the collision of their jutsu.
"Huff… Huff… Had enough yet?" The girl asked, panting heavily.
"Damn it, Tsubaki! Why are you so persistent? Stop already and let me leave!"
"Never!" She replied. "I will never leave a friend behind!"
Sasuke gritted his teeth. "Foolish girl! Even if you manage to defeat me and bring me back, I will simply escape again! The only way for you to stop me from leaving is to kill me! Are you capable of doing that?"
Tsubaki paused and looked down. "No… I'm not. But are you?"
Sasuke's eyes widened. "W-What? What are you talking about?"
"You spoke about your revenge and your hatred." She stood up slowly. "You said it was already too late to save you…"
"It is!"
"Then prove it!" Tsubaki shouted, throwing a kunai at his feet. "Take this knife and stab it in my heart. Then I will believe that you're not the person I once knew."
"A-Are you insane? You're asking me to kill you?"
"Yes, I am." Tsubaki spread her arms, inviting him to do what she asked. "You said you wanted power. Show me how much!"
"Grr! You imbecile!" Sasuke picked up the kunai and rushed at Tsubaki, stopping the blade mere inches away from her neck.
"Come on, do it! Show me just how much you can throw away to become stronger!"
"I…"
"You will never be as strong as him…"
"I…"
"You can't beat him as you are…"
"I…"
Two Sharingan eyes appeared in his mind. The same ones he saw that day.
"DO IT!"
"I… I can't…" Sasuke dropped the kunai and backed away. "I can't do it… I will never be able to do it…"
Tsubaki's look saddened. "Sasuke…"
"I will never become strong… I will never have my revenge…" He continued to mutter. "Damn you Tsubaki. Why did you do it? Why did you make me feel… like this?"
"Sasuke, I…" Tsubaki stepped closer to him. "You won't be alone again, I promise. You are my friend, and I will help you become strong. And if you ever find the one who you seek your revenge against, then I promise to face him with you."
Sasuke looked at her in shock. "Are you telling the truth?"
The red head smiled. "Of course! Or are you calling me a liar, mister?"
"Hm… Hmhmhm… Hmhmhahahaha!" Sasuke laughed. "No, I am not… You sure know how to lighten the mood."
"Yeah… So, ready to go back?"
"I... I guess." Sasuke nodded. "Let's go…"
Suddenly a shadow loomed over them and Sasuke turned his head sharply.
"What is…?" His eyes widened when he suddenly found Jin Kisaragi who was descending at them, doing a beautiful spinning somersault.
"Maid it!" Naruto shouted, landing on one knee, drawing Yukianesa and stabbing it into the ground. "Reitou!"
"Ah!" Sasuke gasped in pain when he was suddenly enveloped in ice from his shoulders right down to his toes, leaving only his head.
"Jin, what are you doing?" Tsubaki yelled. "He already agreed to come back!"
Naruto raised an eyebrow at this. "Oh really? So you managed to persuade him? That's my girl!"
"She's not your girl!" Sasuke hissed.
Jin glanced at Tsubaki. "You're not?"
Tsubaki's eyes widened in shock. "No, Jin I… I still…! You're the only…!"
"Well, it doesn't matter in one way or the other." He stated, putting a smirk on his face.
"W-What do you mean it doesn't matter?" Tsubaki asked.
"Hmhmhmhmhm…" Naruto chuckled. "What I mean is that I'm very grateful to both of you. Because of your coming here, my ambition will finally be realized!"
"What are you talking about, Kisaragi? Are you mad?" Sasuke shouted.
"More like insane." Naruto said with a shrug.
"Let him go, Jin." Tsubaki spoke. "You're scaring me…"
"Let him go?" Naruto said in amusement. "Sorry, sweetheart, but I can't do that." His smirk turned into an evil grin. "You see, my entire Konoha campaign was about this very moment."
Tsubaki's eyes widened. "Konoha… campaign?"
Naruto paused. 'I hate myself for doing this, but it will be better for everyone.' His grin widened. "Yep, campaign. I always said Konoha was too trusting. Oh, and thanks by the way. You made my job much more entertaining… especially at nights. HAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Wh-What are you saying?" Tsubaki stuttered, as horror started to slowly crawl into her soul.
Jin's smile fell. "Simple, I'm saying I don't need Konoha anymore… I don't need you anymore."
Tsubaki felt something in her chest break. "Y-You're lying! It cannot be; you said you love me!"
Naruto shrugged. "Well, I never actually said that. Besides, you're just too… good for my taste. Always polite, always apologizing to everyone… Meh, not my type."
That was Tsubaki's breaking point. "You… bastard!" She rushed at him, throwing a punch at his head.
"Not very smart." The blond replied, countering with a kick to her stomach.
"Gah!" Tsubaki gasped in pain as air was knocked out of her.
"Tsubaki!" Sasuke screamed in rage. "You motherfucker!"
"Son of a bitch, please." Naruto corrected. "I could never bring myself to fuck that… well bitch." He then grabbed Tsubaki by her hair and brought her head up. "Besides, I had better options, don't you think?"
"Ah!" Tsubaki yelped again when Naruto threw her away by her hair. "Cough…" She stood up shakily. "How… How could you do this to me?"
Naruto shrugged. "I'm a Rattlesnake."
"Damn you, Jin! I loved you, I actually loved you! And you betrayed me like this?"
"Hn. Actually it's not so bad." Naruto stated. "I'll go even as far as to say that I kind of like you despite your goodness. If it were anyone else, they would've been dead already. But I have no desire to kill you, so I'm giving you this one chance." He pointed in the direction of Konoha. "Leave this place right now. If you do that, I promise that you will never see me again."
Tsubaki glared at him and took out a three-pronged kunai. "I refuse."
Naruto sighed in disappointment. "A shame… Then don't blame me for what happens to you."
"Stop!" Sasuke screamed. "Leave her out of it! This is between me and you! It is me you want, don't…"
"Haha… Ahahahahahahahaha!" Naruto laughed at the top of his lungs. "You… Haha! You actually think it's you I'm here for? Don't flatter yourself, Uchiha! If the one I'm really after will not show up, then I will simply dispose of you."
"I can't let you do that!" Tsubaki shouted and threw her kunai. "Hiraishin no jutsu!"
Naruto only rolled his eyes, caught the kunai that was flying at him and threw it high into the air.
"What?" Tsubaki asked in confusion as she suddenly appeared fifteen feet above the ground.
"Don't be so surprised, I know exactly how to counter this jutsu." Naruto stated, waving his hand. "Hishouken!"
"Damn!" Tsubaki cursed and threw her kunai to the side, escaping the attack.
"Ho? Smart." The blond said, clapping his hands. "But I'm actually out of time to play with you kids. Konoha already knows of my betrayal and I'm sure they have already sent a team to capture or kill me. So…" He quickly drew his sword and placed its tip on Sasuke's neck.
"No, stop!" Tsubaki screamed.
"Shut up!" Naruto snapped at her. "I know you're here, nii-san! Get your ass out here or little Sasuke gets his head sliced off!"
Nothing.
"Are you high, Kisaragi?" Sasuke yelled. "There is no one here!"
"No one?" Naruto wondered. "Well… then I guess your head gets sliced off!" He raised his blade to strike, but then…
"Do not do this." Sudden voice spoke.
"Who's there?" Tsubaki asked, looking around nervously.
"Ah!" Naruto exclaimed with an insane grin, removing his sword from Sasuke's throat. "So you have finally come out… NII-SAN!"
...
And ANOTHER cliffhanger for you! You know you love it.
Fuck like hell and sleep well!
Darthemius.