Darthemius: Come here, you aliens!
Alien: CHWAK!
Darthemius: Shin-ne!
BLAST.
Darthemius (Shouldering plasma gun): Done! How about you, pal?
Predator (Blasting several aliens up with his shoulder cannon): ROAR!
Darthemius: Nice! But there is just one more thing… (Turning the Predator around and giving him the RKO) I can't stand your fucking face!
Director: CUT! Good job everyone, break fifteen minutes.
Darthemius (Rolling his eyes): Fucking crap…
Naruto: Hey, why are you bitching, man! You're doing great!
Darthemius: Fuck you. Tell me why am I even playing in your damn movie?
Naruto: Well, because we couldn't make it in a video game, but Holywood said…
Darthemius: Not that! I meant why am I playing in your damn movie? Couldn't you ask some… superstar?
Naruto (Raising an eyebrow skeptically): Who?
Darthemius: Well… How about Bruce Willis?
Naruto: No good, man. There is no one to save.
Darthemius: Shit… What about Daniel Radcliffe?
Naruto: No magic either.
Darthemius: Leonardo Dicaprio?
Naruto: This isn't a soap opera…
Darthemius: Keanu Reeves?
Naruto: Nah, that guy's only cool when he's inside the Matrix.
Darthemius: Jackie Chan!
Naruto: Hey, that doesn't sound so bad! But he's just not the type…
Darthemius: Fuck… Well how about…
Naruto: Stop, buddy. You're playing because we're shit out of money. And besides, who else can play a tough son of a bitch like that?
Darthemius: Fine, fine…
Director: Break's over, everyone! What's next, Naruto-san?
Naruto: Oh yeah, next scene… (Looking into the script) Darthemius RKO'es a Predator… and then alien Matriarch jumps out…
Alien Matriarch: Finally it's my turn! What should I do?
Naruto: Hey, don't start stealing Naruto's catchphrases now! Anyway, alien Matriarch jumps out and attempts to rape Darthemius. Then a sex scene follows…
Alien Matriarch: Sure, I can do that.
Darthemius: WHAT? I can't!
Alien Matriarch: What, afraid of the real woman? Wimp.
Darthemius: Fuck you! (To Naruto) You can't do this to me, man!
Naruto: Oh, come on, Darth! You have fucked every pussy there is! What's one more?
Darthemius: Go away, she's too old.
Alien Matriarch: Hey, I'm just twenty seven!
Naruto: See! You can't use her age as an excuse.
Darthemius: Oh… then how about the fact that she has a fucking ACID instead of blood?
Naruto: Umm… Is it gonna end bad for him?
Alien Matriarch (Shrugging): Hell if I know.
Naruto: Well… Tough luck, pal.
Darthemius: Fucking pal you are… Fine then, I need ten more minutes.
Director: What for?
Darthemius: To write a will… and to finish this damn author's notes.
Director: Fine, but be quick. I'm not paying you for author's notes.
Darthemius: Asshole… Anyway, hello, guys. It's been a while. Now don't be too hard on me because I have to defend my diploma in two weeks. And then this fucking university crap will be finally over! I can't believe it!
Okay, okay. Onto pressing matters. First of all, I have received hundreds of messages saying that Fanfiction will be banning authors who write adult stories. Thank you guys. Really. That means you actually like me! But you may stop, I got it already. And if those morons will actually close my account, just search for my stories elsewhere. I will certainly upload them again.
By the way, can someone explain that rating crap to me? Sorry, I'll explain. You see, I myself never gave a slightest damn about what rating a movie or a videogame has. Shit I've been buying vodka since I was fifteen! Besides, is it true that you can smoke after you're eighteen in America? Because you know… I actually stopped smoking at eighteen.
Anyway, let's return to ratings. Now every time I watch some 'rated' movie, they always say something like "This video is not recommended for children". Now let me ask you this, do any of you actually give a flying fuck about what they recommend? I could care less! I don't understand, are they afraid of what, children starting swearing? Shit, I was swearing when I was FIVE!
But then my friend told me: "Hey, man. That's because we live in Russia. In every other country they're following that rating crap." Are you really guys? I don't know so I'm asking. I mean what the hell? Are people afraid that their little boy will go and ask "Hey, dad! What's a bitch?"
"Where did you hear this horrible word, son?"
"I wead it in a stowy! It's weally fun! Nawuto if kiwwing people left and wight and calls himself whe toufest son of a bitch! And in whe end of each chapter awthor alwayf say fuck like hell and sweep well!"
"This is horrible! He must be banned!"
Is that what they fear? Or maybe that children's gonna learn more about sex at fifteen that their parents could for their entire life?
And this Fanfiction is worst of it! I mean come on! "We don't have MA rating since 2002!" Are you actually proud of this, guys? Please, without these stories the site is doomed! Take this particular story for example. Remove fighting scenes, remove sex… What will remain? Shit, it will turn into a twisted Kishimoto's version!
Also, for people who're signing petitions… Don't do that, guys. That's just giving them a reason to check your stories. I actually thought of a radical solution. The idea to fuck up their rating system for good. Consider this, they will be looking for M-rated stories with violence and sex? Well, we can't remove violence and sex. Then what remains? Exactly, rating! What if we all switch our damn rating to T? How will they search then?
Director: Thirty seconds, Darthemius!
Darthemius: Fuck… Okay, wish me luck…
Staff girl: Darthemius versus Predator, scene 134!
Director: ACTION!
Darthemius: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
...
Chapter twenty: My way.
"Shin-ne!" – talks.
'Nah.' – thoughts.
...
Konohagakure no sato. Hokage's office…
"Sensei? Oi, sensei!"
"Huh?" Minato snapped out of his daydream. "Sorry, Kakashi. What were you saying?"
Kakashi smiled genuinely. "Nah, nothing important, just finished my report. Besides, it's obvious you're really not interested in all that boring crap… especially today."
"Yeah…" Yondaime sighed and looked in the window.
Today was the day… The day his daughter would return from her training trip.
"Three years came quickly, didn't they?" Masked jounin asked.
"Not really." The Hokage stated. "I was counting every day…"
"Did you miss Tsubaki-chan that much?"
Minato closed his eyes. "…No. I just knew this day would come… And I feared of it."
Kakashi's eyebrows rose. "But why? Aren't you glad that your daughter is returning?"
Yondaime threw his student a tired glance.
"No… Because I know exactly why she's returning."
"Kisaragi."
"Yes…" Minato closed his eyes once again. "If she's coming back, then she believes herself to be strong enough to take him on."
"You think she's not?" Kakashi asked.
Minato shook his head. "I'm afraid she never will be…"
Now Kakashi was really surprised. "Have you no confidence in your daughter, sensei?"
"I do… But, I also know my daughter well. And she has some traits that I admire greatly." The Hokage stated. "Open mind, honesty, kindness, honor…" He sighed again. "However, I also know that these traits are fatal for a shinobi. There is no place for honor and kindness in what we do."
"And Kisaragi understands that well." Kakashi finished.
"That he does." Minato nodded. "But there is a good thing in all this. We have absolutely no info on his whereabouts. Tsubaki won't be happy to hear that, but at least I can keep her out of trouble… at least for a while…"
Konohagakure no sato. Main gates…
"So… are you ready for it, kid?"
"You know it, Jiraya-sensei. I've been waiting for this."
Jiraya watched with pride how Tsubaki rushed up the wall and looked out into the village.
"It's good to be home… at last." Red haired girl said with a smile. 'Wait for me, Jin…'
Orochimaru's hideout…
"Hmhmhm…" A low chuckle echoed through the dark dungeon. "You surely killed a lot of people… Sakuke-kun."
Two Sharingan eyes opened slowly. "There was one time when he told me…"
Flashback…
"Listen here, Uchiha. You are nothing but a spoiled child, I'm a cold-blooded murderer. Nothing you say will be enough for a threat to me…"
End flashback…
"That's why…" Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "I'm not going to say anything. And if I must become as cold as he is, then so be it. I'll do anything to see him dead."
"Vengeance… A good motive." Orochimaru said. "However… Do not forget that it was his motive as well."
Sasuke clenched his fist. "I haven't forgotten… Now…" He stood up. "Do you have anything more for me?"
The sannin shook his head. "No, that's it for today."
Sasuke sheathed his sword. "Then I will be in my chambers. I'm not in the mood, so keep your lapdogs away… Unless you want them disposed off that is." He added and disappeared in darkness.
"Hmhmhm…" Orochimaru chuckled again when his student was gone. "Hmhmhmhmhmh… Oh, Sasuke-kun! No matter how hard you try, you'll never be like Rattlesnake." He snorted. "Foolish boy, I can read him like a book. How can someone so obvious even try to… Bah, why do I care? All I care about is… Cough!" The snake summoner suddenly fell to his knees in a coughing fit.
"Orochimaru-sama!" Karin appeared out of nowhere. "It's time for your medication, my lord!"
"Cough!" Despite obvious pain, an evil grin appeared on sannin's face. "Soon… Very soon these eyes will be mine! And then they will pay… all of them! Konoha, Akatsuki, but most importantly…" Now his grin was about to split his face in two. "I'll show you that the Viper still has its coils, Rattlesnake!"
Yes, old Orochimaru was just too excited about what's going to happen soon… which is why he didn't notice a slight twitch of Karin's hand during his monologue…
Akatsuki hideout…
"Okay…" Pain began. "Since everyone's here…" He then rolled his eyes and growled in frustration. "Where is Rattlesnake?"
"Beats me, un." Deidara replied. "The guy is like a bird…"
"What do you mean?" The leader asked.
The clay user shrugged. "He'll crap on your head and fly away."
"Tch, that boy is starting to test my patience." Pain closed his eyes for some seconds and then opened them again. "No matter, he has already moved on his target. It's time for the rest of you to act. Hidan and Kakuzu, you are moving on to Niibi. For despite Kisaragi's lack of respect, I believe he will be done with his job quickly."
"Wait a minute." Kakuzu spoke. "You mean Jin has gone after Ichibi? But wasn't he assigned Hachibi?"
"He was." Pain responded. "He, however, works with Tayuya. And Ichibi is her mission. So it is only naturally that he will be there as well."
"Suna, huh…" Sasori grunted. "I pity that village if Rattlesnake went there…"
"Speaking of Rattlesnake…" Pain spoke again. "Deidara and Sasori, you are to go to river country and await his arrival with Ichibi."
"Hmm, what for?"
Leader's eyes narrowed. "I don't trust him, so I will feel much more comfortably if you were there as well."
Sasori held a slight pause, but then nodded. "Very well, we will depart immediately."
Unknown area…
"Still as peaceful as ever…" One young man muttered, looking down at a single hand-made grave. "I'm sorry it took me so long to visit again, Mikoto-san, but you know how it is." He smirked. "Naturally, you were a shinobi too…"
A soft wind blew in his face and young man closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation.
"Mmm… Feels nice." He said. "You know, I might sound crazy… or be crazy… for a while… alright, since the beginning. But I actually think this wind feels exactly like your touch… So soft and gentle."
The young man kneeled in front of the grave. "I miss your touch s much! Your touch, your voice, your smile… your beautiful smile… Oh, what would I give to see that smile again…?" He stopped. "But I guess you won't smile at me again, Mikoto-san. I… I did it, like I told you I would. I killed your son… I killed my brother. Itachi is no more. I guess you know that already, but I still had to tell you myself."
The wind stopped and he stood up sharply. "But I can't stop! I won't! Not now, not when I know the truth!" His eyes narrowed dangerously. "Don't worry, Mikoto-san, I finally know who took you away from me! And I promise you! He will face destiny worse than any death!"
Silence.
"You do not approve…" The young man looked down. "I knew you wouldn't… Such a kind person like you could never approve something like this. But I'm afraid I'll have to disobey you one last time… And then I'll be free…"
"Oi, Jin!" Rough female voice interrupted his speech.
Naruto turned his head slowly to look over his shoulder.
"How long are you going to continue this shit? Let's go already!"
"Hishouken!"
"Gah!"
"Remember your place, Tayuya." Jin said dangerously. "You may be my partner, but if you interrupt my talk with Mikoto-san again, it will be your ass."
"Tch, whatever." Tayuya muttered, pulling an ice blade from a tree it was stabbed into… after it passed dangerously close to her head. "I just wanted to say that you've got a message."
"Oh? And who is it from?" Naruto asked.
Tayuya smiled. "Oh, you'll like it. It's from Kin."
The blond smiled, as if he already knew what that message going to say.
"And?"
"She says… Show time."
"Hmhmhm…" Naruto chuckled. "Then I guess it's time to face the crowd!"
Konohagakure no sato. Hokage's office…
"Hokage-sama, you have a visitor."
A warm knowing smile appeared on Minato's face. "Send them in."
"Hai!"
Few seconds later the door opened and…
"Father!" A very happy Tsubaki rushed forward and almost crushed her father in a hug.
"Hey, I'm happy to see you too, Tsubaki." Minato turned his head. "Jiraiya-sensei."
"Yo, Minato!" The old pervert greeted, raising his hand. "How have you been?"
Yondaime sighed. "Nightmarish. Nothing else to do beside that damn paperwork! I almost wish someone invaded again."
"Hmhmhm…" Tsubaki giggled, releasing her hold. "It's nice to see that at least some things never change."
"Yeah, speaking about changes…" Minato looked his daughter up and down. 'Damn!' He turned to Jiraiya. "How did you…?"
Jiraiya flinched. "Hard… very hard."
"What are you talking about?" Tsubaki tilted her head in confusion.
Minato rolled his eyes. 'Speaking about oblivious. Shit, I almost have a hard on just from her hugging me! Get a grip, Minato! This is your daughter! But still…' He looked at her again. 'In a matter of looks, she jumped waaaaay above Kushina's head.'
"No matter." Yondaime shook his head. "Better yet, tell me how your training went."
Tsubaki smiled confidently. "You will be most surprised with my progress, father."
"Oh?" Minato smiled back. "I see someone's confident."
"I sure am." Tsubaki said.
"And for a good reason." Jiraiya added. "This girl has put me through hell."
Minato raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
The sannin sighed. "I mean that she didn't let me sleep until I evaluated everything she accomplished for a day, and she also didn't let me sleep until I teach her something new."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. But the worst part was that she did not want to return until…" Jiraiya sighed. "Until she bested me in a fight."
Minato turned to his daughter. "Does that mean…?"
"Yup!" She grinned at him. "I beat his sorry perverted ass alright."
"Really?" Minato was genuinely surprised. "And to what point did she push you?"
Jiraiya looked down. "All out."
"Say WHAT?"
Jiraiya took a deep breath. "It's true, Minato. Your little girl is on a whole different level now."
"I… I see. Well, if that's the case, you won't mind showing me what you learned, right?"
"Sure thing, father!"
"Then meet me on a training ground in two hours. You can spend them as you like, but I suggest visiting your mother first. She missed you too."
"Alright." Tsubaki nodded. "I'll see you in two hours." She said and left.
"Damn!" Minato exclaimed as soon as she was out of his hearing range. "I know it's wrong for me to say that, but man she's hot! Even Kushina has nothing on her! And I once believed Kushina to be the most beautiful woman to ever step foot on this planet… just don't tell her I said that."
"Don't worry, I won't." Jiraiya sat across from his student. "Besides, I can understand you completely. But if you thought that was hot, you sure as hell didn't want to know what I went through while she was doing her senjutsu training…"
"Senjutsu training? You mean…?"
"Yes, I taught her how to use natural energy."
"Uh-huh…" Minato nodded. "Now I can see how she was able to beat you. But what I don't get is why were you…?"
"Oil." Jiraya interrupted.
"Excuse me?"
"Initial part with oil. Remember that?"
Minato smiled. "Yeah, I remember myself being covered from head to toe with this damn oil, sipping only in my boxers… whole… day…"
"Understood, did you." Jiraya smirked.
Minato's eyes bulged out of his head.
"What?" Jiraya asked.
"I… I think I just came…" Minato muttered. "Don't tell me things like these! Ahem. Better tell me about the you-know-what."
"Okay." Jiraya replied and… pulled out a sake bottle.
"What's that for?" Yondaime asked.
"Because you won't fucking believe this…"
Kazekage tower…
"Kazekage-sama?"
"Hmm?" Sabaku no Gaara turned around slowly. "What is it, Baki?"
"The meeting is about to begin."
Gaara nodded slowly and turned back to watch the sunset. "Very well, I will be there shortly."
"Hai." Baki bowed respectfully and left the roof.
Godaime Kazakage closed his eyes slowly. "Friends, huh…"
Flashback. Three years ago…
"Why…? Why are you here?" Gaara asked as he was strapped to his bed in Konoha hospital. The invasion didn't go as his superiors have planned, and he himself wasn't even a part of it. Oh no…
Rattlesnake defeated him before it started.
"I'm here to inform you that you've been released from custody." Tsubaki said calmly.
Gaara's eyes widened. "W-What?"
"I spoke the truth, Gaara. In less than an hour you will be free to leave back to your home village."
"Tch…" Gaara greeted his teeth. "Home." He spat. "What home? No one's waiting for me there. And even if there was a reason to return there, it's useless, I have failed…"
"Failed in what?" Tsubaki wondered.
"Failed to prove my existence."
Tsubaki stood still for a second, then she slowly walked closer to him and took his hand gently.
"Even if you failed your mission, it doesn't mean you don't exist."
"What mission?" Gaara screamed in rage. "There was no mission! My purpose was to kill! Kill and prove that I'm the strongest and that I'm alive! But…" He greeted his teeth in anger. "If I can be defeated so easily, then what is the point? I don't see a reason to exist anymore…"
Tsubaki thought for a moment. "Then how about I give you a reason?"
Gaara's eyes widened. "What?"
"I understand what you're saying. You need a reason to keep going, but you don't have one. How about I give you one?"
For some unknown reason Gaara started to shake. "What… What is it?"
Tsubaki smiled and extended her other hand. "From this moment on we are friends. And your purpose will be to protect me, just like mine will be to protect you. Agreed?"
Gaara's eyebrows rose. "Protect… me?"
"Sure!" Tsubaki's smile grew. "I always protect my friends! That's a promise!"
"A promise…"
End flashback…
"A promise I intend to keep." Gaara stated, putting his Kazekage hat on. "I will not fail again."
Hokage mansion…
"Dinner…" Kushina muttered, slicing carrots with her kitchen knife. "I could slice several shinobi squads with my sword! Instead, everything I do is making dinner…" She sighed heavily. "Why did you have to become Hokage, Minato…?"
Suddenly…
"Hi, mom!"
"Oh, hi, Tsubaki…" Kushina's knife fell from her hand. "Tsubaki!" The woman ran over and wrapped her daughter in a hug. "Oh my God, I missed you so much!"
"I missed you too, mom." Tsubaki said, returning the hug. "I can't stay however. Father expects me to meet him at training grounds soon."
Kushina smiled. "Then let's not keep him waiting."
Tsubaki raised an eyebrow. "You want to go as well?"
"Heh, I was once a shinobi to, you know." Kushina replied. "And I would like very much to see my only child's progress."
Tsubaki's mood went down immediately.
"What's wrong, sweetie?" Kushina asked.
"No… it's nothing." Tsubaki turned around and went for the door. "Let's not make father wait…"
Training grounds…
"I can see that something is wrong." Kushina continued to press as they neared their destination point. "You'll feel better if you tell me."
Tsubaki took a deep breath. This was beginning to get really annoying.
"I told you it's nothing, mother. Please drop the subject and…" She stopped. "What?"
The training ground was not empty. Oh no, there was a crowd of people… a crowd of very familiar people.
"Tsubaki!" Sakura noticed her first and rushed to her teammate. "Welcome back!"
"Oh, you look so beautiful!" That was Ino. "Can you give me a few tips?"
Not just the two of them. Everyone from their graduation team was there. Along with Gai's team and Gai himself. Yet there was one person who Tsubaki was very surprised to see. Very surprised, and very anxious to see this person somewhere more private.
"You guys…" Tsubaki muttered. "What are you all doing here?"
"We came to greet you of course, Tsubaki-chan!" Kiba shouted happily. "Man, you look hot!"
Tsubaki smiled warmly. "Thank you, Kiba… Say, I don't see Hinata."
"And you probably won't for a while." Shino replied.
"Huh? Why is that?"
"Well…" Kiba scratched the back of his head. "She's not a part of our team anymore… In fact, there is no team eight anymore."
"After that mission three years ago…" Shino started. "Which I wasn't a part of…"
Kiba rolled his eyes. "Can you drop it at least now?"
"Besides, you could end up like I did." Choji added.
Tsubaki's eyes widened. 'Choji…'
Flashback. Three years ago. Konoha hospital…
"What happened to Choji?"
Shikamaru's face became grim. "He's in critical condition."
Tsubaki covered her mouth with her hands. "Are his wounds that bad?"
Lazy genius took a deep breath. "Yes. Medics spent last three hours to just remove that ice blade without injuring him even more."
Girl's eyes widened in horror. "Ice… blade?"
Shikamaru looked at her questioningly. "Don't you know? Kisaragi tried to kill him on his way to you…"
End flashback…
"…As I was saying." Shino continued, ignoring his colleagues. "After that mission Hinata changed even more. She started training more seriously and separated herself from us. Two years ago she insisted on taking the chuuning exam alone."
"Alone?" Tsubaki asked. "Wait, you mean like…"
"Yes, just like he did." Shino spoke quietly.
"So, what happened?"
"Nothing, except that Hinata passed with flying colors… after killing all her opponents in every part that allowed killing." Kiba said a little angrily. "About a year ago she became a jounin and then took ANBU's proposal. She managed to prove her effectiveness very quickly and now she's second in command, next only to our new ANBU commander Uzuki Yugao. So as you can see, Hinata's not hanging with us anymore."
"I… I see." Tsubaki said. "By the way, what about you guys? What are your ranks?"
"It was troublesome, but we're all chuunins."
"Eh? You too, Sakura?"
"Yup!" Sakura gave a peace sign. "I decided to train as a field medic and soon caught Tsunade-sama's eye. Now I'm her second apprentice!"
"Wow!" Tsubaki smiled. "You must be pretty good then!"
"Oh? And what about you?" Someone said from behind.
Someone Tsubaki knew very well.
"Hmhmhm… You should know that already, pervert." Tsubaki smiled and turned around. "After all, I suspect you already made Jiraiya-sensei sign all your books."
"Hahaha!" Kakashi laughed. "You know me too well."
"So… Am I right to assume that you all came to see my skill?" Red haired girl asked.
"Yosh! That we did!" Gai stated.
"Well? How is it gonna be?"
"You should know that already." Minato said, appearing in a flash of yellow. He was dressed in his battle gear and held one of his kunais in his hand. "If you beat Jiraiya-sensei, then there is only one thing left." Yondaime took a battle stance.
Tsubaki smirked and did the same. "I was waiting for this."
Sunagakure's outskirts…
"I'm a roller, babe! I'm a rider, babe! So ease down, and wrap your legs around me! Wrap your legs around me…"
"What, you want to do this right now?" Tayuya asked in surprise.
Naruto rolled his eyes. "You know very well that it's just my favorite song. So unless you want to have a full ass of sand…"
"I'd rather not…" The red head replied.
"That's what I thought." Jin said with a smirk.
"So, what's the plan?" Tayuya asked as Sunagakure came into view.
"Easy and simple." The blond responded. "You are going to go there and fight against the village. And while you do that, I'm gonna sneak in and get your jinchuriki. Easy enough?"
Tayuya's eyes widened. "Y-You can't be serious! I can't…"
Naruto glanced at her with evil grin on his face. "What, too tough for you?" He stopped and turned to her fully. "Perhaps I was wrong when I took you as my partner…"
"Tch." Tayuya gritted her teeth. "Fine, I'll do it."
"Good." Jin turned around to walk forward.
"Asshole." The girl muttered, following her partner. "Anyway, why do it like this? I mean, Sasori said he had a spy in there somewhere, and perhaps we could…"
"Sasori said?" Naruto asked incredulously. "Yeah, and Deidara said 'art is a blast'! And Hidan said 'All praise Jashin-sama'! And Pain said 'I am a God'! And Konan said 'Oh yes! Fuck me harder'… Oppa… Did I say that out loud?"
"Sure did." Tayuya replied skeptically.
"Ahehe… No matter. Did you get the point?"
"Sure, you fucked Konan." The red head stated.
"Exactly!" Naruto's eyebrows rose. "Wait, no! The point is that I don't give a rat's ass about what they said! We are doing it my way!"
Tayuya continued to stare at him.
Jin sighed. "Fine, you can add Konan to the list."
Slowly Tayuya took out a small notebook and with a quiet "horny bastard" wrote a single name in it.
"Actually, you should be grateful!" Naruto began. "Because I gently agreed to capture your jinchuriki. If I was not so gentle, I would've said something like: 'Go and do everything yourself while I sit here and masturbate."
Tayuya took a deep breath. "Why did you take me with you, Jin? I know you could do everything yourself."
"Hmhmhm…" The blond chuckled. "I could, but I needed someone to suck my dick while I travel!" Seeing her downed look, he rolled his eyes again. "Oh, quit it!" Jin wrapped his arms around Tayuya's waist and pulled her closer. "Stop this bullshit, girl. I took you because I need you, and you know it."
The girl frowned. "Yeah… But sometimes you treat me like trash…" Her eyes then whidened when he touched her chin and raised her head with his hand.
"And sometimes I do not." Naruto replied, capturing her lips in a soft and gentle kiss.
Tayuya melted instantly. 'Son of a bitch! He knows I can't resist when he does that!'
"I need you, Tayuya, and I mean it." Naruto whispered when they parted. "You know I couldn't get where I am right now without you. And I also need you in order to move forward. Never doubt that."
The girl just stared at him in awe. She was rude and harsh, yes. But sometimes a girl needs to feel like a girl. And Naruto did just that, made Tayuya feel like a girl. Gentle and beautiful… God's greatest creation.
That was actually the reason she fell for him in the first place. Because being raised in Otogakure was not… easy. And it was absolutely impossible to grow up a lady in that hell hole. Everyone she met there was brutal and barbaric… Until she met him. Tayuya never knew what he saw in her, but she didn't care as long as she could have him…
"Well, are you ready to continue?" Jin asked.
Tayuya nodded slowly with a smile on her face.
"Okay then!" Naruto rubbed his palms together. "We're close enough. Now…"
"What are you going to do?" The red head asked.
Naruto smirked at her. "You didn't actually think that I will let you fight alone?" He struck his right hand into the ground. "Kuchiose no jutsu!"
PUFF.
"Wha…?" The word died in her throat when Tayuya realized what her partner just summoned.
"Orochimaru? Why did you summon me in a place like this?" Manda, the huge purple serpent asked. "Where are you, Orochimaru? If this is some joke, you will…"
"Yo!" Suddenly came from below. "Long time no see, purple ass!"
"What the…?" Manda looked down… and howled in rage. "RATTLESNAKE! I will eat you alive!"
Naruto rolled his eyes, took a deep breath… and teleported right onto Manda's nose.
"You should think twice before threaten me, worm." The blond exclaimed. "You know I have no problems in wasting your ugly ass, so there are two options really, buddy. One, you do what I tell you. Two, I make you do what I tell you."
Tayuya's eyes widened. 'Is he serious? He's threatening the snake boss!'
Manda hissed dangerously. "You broke the contract, Rattlesnake! You didn't bring me sacrifices I required and…" He was suddenly interrupted when Naruto kicked his head.
"Do I look like that trash Orochimaru to you?" The blond spat. "Unlike him, I can kill you without moving from my spot! You should be honored to have such a strong person as your summoner."
"Tch… Fine, Rattlesnake. What is your command?"
Naruto smirked. "Now we're talking." He pointed his hand. "See this village?"
"Yes."
"I want you to go in there… and eat anybody you want."
"A sacrifice?" Manda asked in confusion. "Then why didn't you fucking say so!"
Naruto shrugged. "You didn't give me a chance. Now see this pretty girl? She will help you make people of that village realize that they are in fact sacrifices for you."
"I like the sound of that." Theserpent king stated. "Hop on, little girl."
Tayuya nodded and jumped on Manda's head. "Any final tips?"
Naruto smirked. "Sure, kick ass."
"You bet!" Tayuya exclaimed, just before Manda charged at the village.
Kazekage's office…
"Hi, Gaara."
"Hmm?" Godaime Kazekage tore his eyes from his book. "What is it, Temari?"
"Nothing." The girl replied. "I just wanted to visit you."
Gaara smiled at his sister. "Thank you… Though there is nothing interesting here, just me reading my book. Don't you want to sleep?"
Temari frowned. "Yeah, but I sometimes remember that you can't do that and it's just… It's not fair."
Gaara closed his eyes. "Many things in this life are not fair. Especially the ones that we want to go our way."
"Yeah…" The girl smiled again. "But sometimes we get lucky."
"Sometimes. But then…"
BOOM.
The entire village shook.
"What is it?" Gaara asked, not standing up from his chair.
Temari rushed to the window. "We are under attack!" She shouted. "A giant snake tore through the border wall!"
"A snake?" Gaara asked with wide eyes.
"Wait, you mean… Orochimaru?"
"Is someone on that snake?" Temari tried to look closer. "I can't see from here, but that certainly is not Orochimaru."
"Why do you think that?"
Temari shrugged. "Orochimaru wouldn't attack alone. He would've brought an army… and sent them first."
"True." Gaara nodded.
"So, what are our orders?"
"Take Kankurou and mobilize the entire village." The Kzaekage commanded. "Apprehend that invader. Take alive… if possible. I will join…" He suddenly looked over his shoulder. And although there was nothing except for the wall, his face twisted in anger.
"G-Gaara?" Temari asked worriedly.
"You have your orders. Go, I will join you shortly."
"H-Hai!" Temari nodded and rushed out.
Gaara gritted his teeth. "Looks like you've lost the remains of your sanity…"
Konohagakure no sato. Training grounds…
"Rasengan!" Two similar techniques hit each other.
BLAST.
"Wow! Looks like that girl is really going all out on Minato's ass!"
"Master!" Sakura exclaimed. "When did you get here?"
Tsunade waved her hand. "Jiraya stopped by and said that the princess is back. I had to see it."
"Is that the true reason?" The toad hermit asked.
"Nah, I just wanted to see Minato get his perverted ass kicked."
"Hey!" Kushina replied. "That's my perverted ass!"
"Too bad!"
Back on the field Tsubaki faced her father with serious look. Each held one Hiraishin kunai in their left hand.
"You became good, Tsubaki." Minato stated with a smile.
"And you did not." Tsubaki said back. "Start taking me seriously, father, or this fight will end very shortly."
Hokage's smile fell. "Very well then." He threw his kunai. "Kage kunai no jutsu!"
"Hn." Tsubaki just dodged every weapon with grace. "This old trick again, father?"
Minato raised an eyebrow. "Old?"
"Looks like Hokage's job has made your skills dull." The girl stated. "It seems to me that you have lost your creator's nature." She threw her kunai in the middle of the field. "Reverse Hiraishin no jutsu!"
"Oh my!" Jiraya commented. "She already went for that."
"What is it?" Kakashi asked, observing with his Sharingan. "I can see nothing."
"And you won't, until it's too late…" Jiraya muttered with a sad smile on his face.
Meanwhile Minato tilted his head to the side. "Reverse Hiraishin no jutsu? What is this technique?"
"You're about to find out, father." Tsubaki replied, taking a taijutsu stance. "Come!"
"Very well then!" Minao disappeared in a flash of yellow. But when he reappeared…
"Too slow, father." Tsubaki said from behind.
Minato froze. "W-What?"
The girl shook her head. "Techniques have the ability to grow old. And I was researching Hiraishin for a while. You are bound by those kunais you use constantly."
"Oh? Then what about you?"
"Hmm…" Tsubaki paused. "Well, I guess I can tell you since you're my father. In order to use Reverse Hiraishin no jutsu I need only one kunai. When I stab it into the ground, it creates a field in every part of which I can appear on a whim of mine…"
Minato decided to use his daughter's distraction with her speech and teleport himself out of that situation.
"You shouldn't relax when…" Minato began, but his daughter nowhere was nowhere to be seen. "Where…?"
"And you should let me finish." Was heard from above.
"Wha…?" Minato looked up just in time to feel Tsubaki's heel drop connect with his shoulder.
"I can teleport even in midair." Tsubaki said, sweeping her father's legs from below him and before he fell she followed with a hard spinning kick to his ribcage.
"Gah!" Minato gasped when his back hit the tree.
"Holy shit!" Kiba exclaimed. "Tsubaki-chan is winning against Hokage-sama!"
"For now yes…" Gai replied. "Hokage-sama is not that simple as well."
Back in the field Minato smiled. "Well done!" He exclaimed, taking out another kunai. "But I guess your field has a range and it doesn't reach here…"
Words died in his throat when Tsubaki simply raised her left hand, and her kunai appeared in it in a flash of red.
"That's why it's called Reverse Hiraishin no jutsu."
"Hmhm… Hmhmhmhmhm!" Minato chuckled. "Very good! As expected from my daughter! Say, how about we take it up a notch?"
Seeing her father close his eyes, Tsubaki understood immediately what he was doing.
"Very well, father." She did the same.
"What are they doing?" Kurenai asked.
"They are gathering natural energy." Jiraya answered.
"Natural energy?"
"Yes. Watch closely…"
Suddenly both Minato and Tsubaki opened their eyes and… they were yellow.
"Here I come, Tsubaki!" Minato stated and rushed forward.
Girl's eyes narrowed. 'He's fast!' She saw her father throw a punch and prepared to parry it when he suddenly vanished. "Wha…?"
"Rasenrengan!"
"Damn!" Tsubaki cursed, teleporting away just in time. "What did you just do?"
"Hmhmhm…" Yondaime chuckled. "You didn't think I gained my title just because of one single technique?"
"Tch." Tsubaki thrust her hand forward and…
"Kikouken!"
Minato's eyes widened when a bolt of condensed energy flew straight at him. Still it was not quick enough for Konoha's Yellow Flash.
"That's far too slow to hit me."
"That was not meant to hit you." Tsubaki replied from behind.
"Shit!" Minato cursed when he saw Tsubaki's kick coming at his face. He managed to block it, but Tsubaki was not done.
"Joushou Dageki!" Tsubaki shouted, delivering a mighty uppercut to her father's solar plexus.
"Gah!" Minato gasped as air was knocked out of him.
"Not yet!" The girl stated, spinning around. "Boushi Ryute-ru!"
SMACK.
One spinning roundhouse kick later Minato was sent flying over the training ground again.
"Guh." Yondaime slowly got to his feet. "I should start training again. Paperwork is really bad for health…"
"So… Is that all you've got, father?" Tsubaki asked with hints of disappointment in her voice.
Minato took a deep breath. "It is not." He replied. "But I'm not going to use that mode against my daughter…"
"Stop it!" Tsubaki yelled. "Stop holding back and treating me like a child! I know you've been doing that since the beginning of the fight! My life will be in constant danger now! How can I be ready for this danger if my own father refuses to help me?"
Minato frowned at that.
"Still going to hold back? Fine!" Tsubaki placed her hand into her robe and pulled out… the sword of Raijin. "Then I will make you take me seriously!" And with that she activated the sword and… threw it at her father.
'What?' Yondaime's eyes widened. But before the sword reached him, Tsubaki appeared in a flash of red, grabbed the sword and swung it at her father.
"Ah!" Minato gasped when sword cut through his gear, leaving a shallow cut on his chest. 'Not going to back down, huh… Well then!" He opened his eyes sharply and did a one-handed seal. "Kai!"
Tsubaki's eyebrows rose when her father's body started to glow yellow. "Wha…?" But before she could even finish her question, Minato appeared beside her and delivered a crushing kick to her back.
"Tsubaki!" Kushina screamed from her spot and was about to rush to her daughter's aid… when Jiraiya grabbed her shoulder.
"You'd better stop." He warned.
"Let go, Jiraiya!" The woman yelled. "She needs me!"
"No, that's exactly what she doesn't need right now." The old hermit stated. "Tsubaki is trying to prove something to herself, and she won't be able to do that if you interfere."
"But…!"
"Stand down, Kushina… If you don't want your daughter to hate you."
The woman only looked down at this.
"Wow! Is this Hokage-sama's true power?" Lee asked.
"Yes." Gai nodded. "That's what made him the feared shinobi he is."
Back in the field Tsubaki was finally able to track down her father and…
"Joushou Dageki!" She tried again, but…
"I'm sorry, Tsubaki." Minato caught her fist as if it was nothing and threw the girl over his shoulder. "It's over." He pointed his kunai at her throat.
"It is." Tsubaki admitted, closing her eyes.
Minato released his breath and stopped his 'Yellow Flash' mode. "That was the best fight I had since Yondaime Raikage!" He said, extending his hand. "You sure went a long way with…" Next word died in his throat when he looked at Tsubaki's face again.
A face with a deep frown on.
"Oh, come on now!" Minato kneeled again and hugged his daughter. "You came this close to beating me and in a few years…"
"No, you don't understand, father…" Tsubaki whispered.. "I wasn't training to beat you."
Yondaime's eyes widened. "Tsubaki, you…" He sighed. "I know you've been holding back as well."
The girl smiled weakly. "Jiraiya-sensei told you?"
"That he did." Minato nodded.
"Yes, I have that. And I probably would've beaten you if I used it." She shook her head. "But that is not the answer, because… because he has it too."
"Naruto…"
Tsubaki nodded. "I thought that if I could defeat you without unleashing it, then I probably stood a chance against him."
Minato frowned at that. "Do you really believe him to be as strong as me now?"
"No, father…" She shook her head. "I believe he's already stronger…"
Sunagakure no sato. Random rooftop…
"My, what a view!" Naruto stated, observing how Manda crushed Sunagakure's barriers with Tayuya on his head. "Too bad I missed my popcorn…"
"You wouldn't get the chance to eat it anyway."
Naruto grinned in satisfaction.
"At last, damn it! And here I thought you're going to ignore little old me…" He turned around sharply. "Kazekage-sama."
...
And that's all folks! Yes, I made it out alive. How? I used two condoms.
And since I love ratings so much…
FUCK LIKE HELL AND SLEEP WELL!
Darthemius.