Darthemius: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! No, that was not my pre-death scream. That was a scream of joy… because finally… Finally…! That's right, Darthemius said FINALLY DARTHEMIUS HAS GRADUATED FROM THE FUCKING UNIVERSITY!
OH HELL YEAH! You people can't believe how overjoyed I was, am, and will be for at least two more weeks! I did it, people! I DID IT! This fucking education process has finally come to an end!
Now I think you get the idea why I've been missing for so long. Yeah, I was drinking my ass off, getting laid… drinking my ass off while getting laid… good times. So I was kind of busy. In fact, I was… 'congratulated' by each and every one of my girlfriends, which is a large number. I was also congratulated by a few professors, but I never told you that.
But since I'm feeling a little sober right now… I decided to play Max Payne 3. Poor guy. Why does he always end up alone and with nothing? I mean hell, can't he get the girl at least once? Well, he did get it once, but they decided to ignore that ending… By the way, I feel so sorry for poor Fabiana. The girl didn't deserve to die like that. The only woman I wouldn't mind seeing with a bullet in her head is my fucking grandmother…
What the fuck am I talking about? You're here for the story, right? Okay, a few words. First of all, I got many people saying "Why did Pain let Naruto in Akatsuki?" Ever heard a saying: "Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer"?
Next is ranking… okay, since someone asked I will put a Shippuuden rankings for major characters next.
And the last thing. Please stop sending me those 'They are deleting stories! Spread the word!' messages. I appreciate it, guys, but I got more than two hundred. That's enough… really. Besides, I told you already. I don't care about their damn rating crap. If they delete me… well, it's their loss. My friend actually proposed to open my own site to post my damn stories. Well, since I was drunk as shit, I told him to fuck off…
Tifa: Hey, Darthy! Get back in bed, it's getting cold.
Darthemius: Oh, sure! I'll be right back…
Tifa: And stop talking to yourself. It's starting to get weird.
Darthemius: Uh… yeah. Anyway, enjoy the chapter, guys. I think there will be no more delays like that in the near future…
And now…
Shippuuden rankings.
...
Uzumaki Naruto/Jin Kisaragi/Rattlesnake.
Age: 17.
Rank: SS.
Status: Freelancer/Wanted criminal/Bounty hunter.
Main attribute: Swordsmanship.
Special ability: Hiraishin, Sharingan, Kyuubi's chakra.
Description: Time did nothing much with subject's state of mind. After supposedly realizing his ambition and avenging Uchiha Mikoto's death the subject managed to calm down a little… For about seven minutes. Quickly finding a new purpose he returned to his life of a mercenary and bounty hunter. The only difference is that he joined a criminal organization named Akatsuki. His reasons for that are unknown to this date.
Still has anger management issues.
Main goal: Unknown.
...
Namikaze Tsubaki.
Age: 17.
Rank: SS.
Status: Acting genin of Konohagakure no sato.
Main attribute: Ninjutsu/Swordsmanship.
Special ability: Kyuubi's chakra, huge chakra reserves, fuuinjutsu master.
Description: Spending the last three years in training the subject actually managed to surpass her teacher (Jiraiya of the sannin), who to this day remains the only one knowing about the full extent of subject's true power. Anxious and determined to bring both Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto back to the village… while still unsure of what will happen if she does. Still kind and compassionate to the great concern of her menthors.
Now also has anger management issues.
Main goal: Get her life back together.
...
Uchiha Sasuke.
Age: 17.
Rank: S.
Status: Konoha's renegade shinobi.
Main attribute: Raiton techniques.
Special ability: Sharingan, Cursed seal of heaven.
Description: The subject became even more unstable after coming face to face with his true enemy. Watching his brother die at the hands of Uzumaki Naruto, Sasuke decided that he will acquire power by any means necessary. That resulted in him joining Orochimaru and training under the sannin for the last three years. The subject was told that he will become more like his enemy if he continue following this way, but Sasuke is fine with that as long as he can fulfill his dream.
Main goal: Kill Uzumaki Naruto and avenge his clan.
...
Namikaze Minato.
Age: 47.
Rank: SSS.
Status: Yondaime Hokage of Konohagakure no sato.
Main attribute: Excels in almost everything.
Special ability: Hiraishin no jutsu.
Description: Still setting an example for the entire world, the subject has spent the last three years worrying about his daughter… and her possible reunion with her brother. That's why he took no steps in finding Uzumaki Naruto's whereabouts, possible plans, or even presumable course of actions.
Desires greatly to redeem himself in his own eyes, and the eyes of his children.
Main goal: Set things right.
...
Tayuya.
Age: 18.
Rank: S.
Status: Mercenary/Renegade shinobi.
Main attribute: Katon techniques.
Special ability: None.
Description: The sole survivor of Uzumaki Naruto's former squad called the sound five. During the last three years the subject managed to improve her skills greatly. In fact, her improvement was so much, that she has switched her main battle attribute after finding a strong affinity for fire. Right now serves as Uzumaki Naruto's partner in the criminal organization Akatsuki.
Also greatly infatuated with her partner.
Main goal: Help Naruto achieve his goals.
...
Uzuki Yugao.
Age: 26.
Rank: A.
Status: The commander of Konohagakure's ANBU forces.
Main attribute: Swordsmanship.
Special ability: None.
Description: After losing her squad as well as her fiancé at the hands of Jin Kisaragi, the subject wishes for nothing else, that to see him die. For that purpose she has completely forsaken her personal life in order to advance in ranks. Now she spends time in high-risk missions and extreme training sessions, waiting for her time.
Main goal: Kill Uzumaki Naruto.
...
Hyuga Hinata.
Age: 17.
Rank: A.
Status: Acting jounin of Konohagakure no sato/Vice-captain of ANBU forces.
Main attribute: Juuken.
Special ability: Byakugan.
Description: Brought out of her shell, the subject took her life into her own hands. Abandoning her team at the age of 15, she was able to pass the chuunin exam on her own and quickly advance in ranks afterwards. The subject's personality changed completely, turning from a shy and timid individual into a strong and determined leader.
Main goal: Has yet to be revealed.
...
Uzumaki Naruto (Fully unleashed).
Age: 17.
Rank...
Status: Monster.
Main attribute: Doesn't matter.
Special ability: Hiraishin, Sharingan, Kyuubi's chakra.
Description: Something you really shouldn't encounter.
Main goal: Kill.
...
Chapter twenty one: Harsh reality.
"Shin-ne!" – talks.
'Nah.' – thoughts.
"You will." – demonic.
...
Sunagakure no sato…
"Kisaragi." Gaara said grimly. "Pretty stupid of you to come here."
Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Why?"
"Are you really crazy enough to face the master of sand in a desert?"
The blonde grinned and spread his hands. "YES!"
Gaara's eyes narrowed. He knew that despite his territorial disadvantage, this man was not to be underestimated.
"What is your goal, Rattlesnake?"
"My goal?" Naruto thought for a moment. "Well, there's that pose in Kamasutra that I always wanted to try, but the girl needs to stand upside down and spread her legs wide and then I…"
"Quit fooling around!" The sand started to swirl madly around Gaara. "Why did you come here?"
"Ah! So that's what you were referring to! That's simple!" The blond replied. "I'm here to present you with two options!"
"What options?"
"Well…" Naruto scratched the back of his head. "The first option is that you quietly knock yourself out, place yourself on my shoulder, let me carry you back to Akatsuki base where we will extract Ichibi from you… most likely killing you in the process…"
"Hn. And what's the second option?" Gaara folded his arms.
Jin shrugged. "Actually it's not much different from the first one, but I wouldn't recommend that because… Well, let's just say you will like it even less."
"Is that so?"
"Hahaha!" The blond chuckled. "You have doubts I see! Come on, old pal! We both know that you're nothing."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Kisaragi." Gaara replied. "I came a long way as well."
Naruto rolled his eyes. "Fine, option two it is. Hishouken!"
"Hn." Gaara smirked as his sand blocked Naruto's ice blade. "You'll have to do better than that."
"Hmm… Okay." Naruto said, rushing forward at insane speed and striking with his katana.
"Tch." Gaara scowled, jumping high in the air.
"Useless." Naruto stated, preparing to catch Gaara when he landed, but… "What the…?"
"I learned your skills well, Kisaragi." Gaara said, using his sand to fly.
"Ho, not bad for a one trick phony." Jin commented.
Kazekage glared. "Your insults are nothing to me, Kisaragi! Sabaku Kyu!"
"Oppa!" Naruto exclaimed as sand started to surround him from both sides. "Not good, better to run away in fear… I mean withdraw." He said, running deeper into the village.
"You're not getting away!" Gaara stated, following suit. "In this village sand is everywhere!"
"Damn." The blond cursed, seeing sand cutting off his every path. "Thahaha! Fine, defense doesn't suit me anyway!" He turned to Gaara. "Hyoku Getsumei!"
Godaime Kazekage watched stoically as a large arrow made of ice approached him quickly and…
CRACK.
…Smirked in satisfaction when it was destroyed by his sand.
"Did you really think that a three year old trick will work again?" Gaara asked in amusement.
Naruto frowned. "Actually yes, I did… Damn, that was my strongest ranged attack…"
"Give up, Rattlesnake!" Gaara screamed. "You've got nothing left! I promised my… friend that I will not kill you."
"Kill me?" Naruto looked up without his usual smirk. "You're thinking too highly of yourself, trash."
Gaara's eyes narrowed. "So be it." He waved his hand and sand completely enveloped all of Jin's limbs. "I promised not to kill you, but I never said anything about broken bones. Last chance, Kisaragi!"
The blond smiled darkly and closed his eyes. "You still don't get it. There is nothing you can do…"
Gaara took a deep breath. 'I'm sorry, Namikaze Tsubaki.' He clenched his fist. "Sabaku Sousou!"
BLAST.
Instead of crushing Naruto's limbs Gaara's sand was suddenly blasted away by some unseen force.
Gaara just stared in shock. "H-How? That is impossible!"
"Not impossible." Naruto cracked his neck. "Just too difficult for your limited mind to understand." He stated… opening his eyes slowly.
The Kazekage gasped in shock after seeing said eyes. "It cannot be! You…!" He gritted his teeth, forming a sphere of sand around himself. "You still haven't won! This is my absolute defense, none of your ice techniques will be enough to break through it."
Naruto frowned at that. "Well that's a shame…" He raised his left hand and Yukianesa disappeared in it.
"Giving up?"
Naruto shook his head. "You really should've chosen option one… Now you made me use this power." He scowled. "The power they gave me. You have no idea how much I hate it."
'What is that?' Gaara wondered, seeing how Jin's hands started to emit red chakra. 'That energy… it's incredible!'
Meanwhile Naruto spread his hands wide and started to move both of them counter clockwise.
"I won't apologize, Mikoto-san. This is all for you." He pressed his arms together. "Crimson Rage!"
"Shit!" Gaara's eyes widened when a huge beam of red light came from Jin's hands straight at him.
"One down."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Gaara screamed at the top of his lungs. His sand shield and armor were destroyed almost instantly and the pain was unbearable.
"Enough." Naruto moved his hands apart and Gaara's motionless body fell on the ground. "Hmm…" He began, walking closely. "Even his clothes burned."
Indeed, Gaara was almost naked now. Many severe burns marked his body.
"Alive." Naruto quickly checked Gaara for life signs and after finding them he picked Godaime Kazekage up. "Sigh… they always the take second option…"
Another part of the village. Tayuya's location…
"Weak!" Tayuya stated, impaling yet another Suna shinobi on her kodachi. "Oi, Manda!"
"What?" The huge snake turned to his partner.
"Another meal for you." The red head shouted, throwing the shinobi up with her blade.
"No!" Unlucky guy screamed on top of his lungs… just before he was swallowed whole by Manda.
"Nice!" The snake king said. "I like you, female. Are you Rattlesnake's mate?"
Tayuya smirked. "You could say that. Another team closing in from the right!"
"Got it!" Manda swung his massive tail, collapsing a building on the approaching squad.
"Smart thinking." Tayuya said, doing a cross slash with her twin swords. The result – one man in four pieces. "Say, can I ask you a question?"
Manda thought for a second. "Very well, you may ask."
"I was always wondering… Why does everyone call him Rattlesnake?" The girl asked. "I mean, I could understand humans, but you?"
"Hehehe…" The great serpent chuckled. "That's because, this asshole is one cunning slimy traitorous son of a bitch."
Tayuya raised an eyebrow. "That's it?"
"Well no, actually not. He also cannot be controlled. A perfect quality for a rattlesnake."
"Really? And I heard of these snake charmers, who can tame a snake…"
"Not every snake can be tamed." Manda stated. "Rattlesnake is one of them. They might obey, but only when they want something."
"I see… Yes, that explains it. Look out!" Tayuya quickly jumped backwards and that saved her life, because next moment…
"Dai Kamaitachi no jutsu!"
"What the hell?" Manda exclaimed as several cuts appeared on his body.
"Stop right there! You will not go any farther!" Temari appeared with her fan ready to strike.
Tayuya's eyes narrowed in anger. "You! Fucking bitch, I will pay you back for that time!"
"You know this female?" Manda asked.
"Not for long!" Tayuya growled, readying her swords.
"You…" Temari muttered. "From back then. You were with…" Her eyes widened. "Jin!"
"Hey, what's going on?" Kankurou asked, landing beside his sister.
Temari glared at him. "We're under attack, you idiot! Can't you see?"
"Yes, I can! Thank you very much." Kankurou replied. "I meant who is attacking us."
"They are." Temari glared at Tayuya. "Tell me where he is."
"That's for me to know and for you to find out when it will be already too late!" Tayuya shouted, jumping from Manda's head straight at Temari. "Keep other worms away from me, I'm going to take this bitch on!"
"Very well, I was intending to do that anyway…" Manda replied and continued to devour good people of Sunagakure.
Temari's eyes narrowed. "It seems to me that you have forgotten what happened three years ago." She swung her fan. "Ninpo: Kamaitachi!"
"Heh." Tayuya smirked, placing one sword behind her back and doing some hand seals with her free hand. "Oh no, I remember exactly what happened! Katon: Housenka no jutsu!"
Temari's eyes widened. 'Fire? But…'
"Down!" Kankurou shouted, pushing his sister away at the last second. "What's the matter with you? Don't freeze like that!"
Temari shook her head. "Sorry." She stood up. "It's just that I've fought her before, and she didn't possess such skills as fire jutsu."
"Well, it looks like she was training." Kankurou replied, summoning his three puppets. "Let's take this bitch down, I'll back you up."
Meanwhile Tayuya's eyebrows rose in amusement. "Oh? A puppeteer?"
"So? What of it?" Kankurou responded.
"Hah, nothing." Tayuya ran a hand through her hair. "It's just that I have an acquaintance that asked me to give a small present to a puppeteer if I ever run into one in this shithole."
"Who is your acquaintance?"
Tayuya smirked. "Perhaps you heard the name… Sasori?"
Kankurou's eyes widened. "Sasori? Aka Suna no Sasori?"
"That's right. And here's the gift." Tayuya said as her body… burned to dust.
"What?" Temari yelled in shock. "Where did she…"
"AH!" A sudden yelp of pain made her turn around.
"Kankurou!"
"Tch." The puppeteer removed a dart from his neck with a hiss. "What the hell is…?" Next words died in his throat because his vision became blurry. "F-Fuck… poison…" He muttered, collapsing on the ground.
"Good guess, clown!" Tayuya appeared in a burst of flames.
"You!" Temari stood protectively in front of her brother. "What did you do to him?"
Tayuya shrugged. "As I said, just a little gift."
"Cough… it was a poisonous dart… cough…" Kankurou muttered. "Be careful, Temari… Cough…"
"Oh, don't worry, I won't do that to her." Tayuya drew her blades again. "Because I want to have the satisfaction from cutting her to bits!"
"Tch." Temari glared. "You won't trick me again!"
Tayuya's smirk widened. "Oh, I beg to differ!" She said as her body disappeared from view. "Not all my skills have changed."
"Genjutsu!" Temari exclaimed. "Kai!"
"Hahahahahahaha!" Tayuya's laughter came from all directions. "Oh pu-lease! Do you think I'm in Akatsuki for nothing?"
"Akatsuki!" Temari's eyes widened. "Then it means you're after Gaara!"
"Bingo! Now do me a favor and stand still while I cut you down. I'll deal with Kazekage-sama next."
"No, I won't let you!" Temari shouted. "I…"
"Shin-ne." Tayuya appeared from behind, her sword already I motion...
But suddenly…
"Duck!"
Temari obeyed instantly and her life was saved yet again. "Baki-sensei!"
"Another freak." Tayuya groaned. "Oi, Manda! I told you to keep other trash away from me while I deal with this bitch."
"Che. Well excuse me if I'm having problems fighting alone against thousands!" The great serpent replied.
"Damn." Tayuya hissed, pushing against Baki's blade of wind.
"How are you, Temari?" Baki asked, keeping his eyes on Tayuya.
"I'm fine, thank you." Temari nodded.
"Fucking insects."
Baki glared. "Give up, girl, and maybe your life will be spared."
The red head smirked again. "Sorry, but giving up is not an option for me because…"
She was suddenly interrupted by a loud…
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"
"What?" Temari turned around sharply just in time to see a fading beam of red light and… the falling body of her youngest brother. "Gaara!"
"They used this attack as a distraction to get to him!" Baki shouted.
"Heh, I guess he's done." Tayuya jumped backwards, breaking the deadlock. "A shame, I really hoped to finish you off this time. Well, you can't have everything." She sheathed her swords and took out a single kunai. "Well, since it's already too late…" And with a mocking smirk the girl threw said kunai on the ground…
Immediately a flash of yellow followed.
"Y-Yondaime Hokage?" Baki stuttered.
"Umm… Sorry to disappoint, but no." The newcomer said, chewing on a piece of fried meat. "Mmm… nice."
"Took you long enough, asshole!" Tayuya scolded. "I almost had a whole Hidden Village on my ass!"
Naruto swallowed his meat and turned to her. "Shut your mouth and be thankful that I did your job for you."
"Fuck you, Jin."
"Sure, once we get to bed."
"J-Jin?"
Naruto turned to Temari. "Oppa! Hey there, girl! How has it been?"
Temari watched him with wide eyes. "Jin, you…" Then she noticed unconscious Gaara on his shoulder… and the fact that he was also dressed in Akatsuki cloak. "But… But you promised!"
Naruto rolled his eyes. "First of all, never trust a Rattlesnake. And secondly, I promised not to kill him. And as you probably can see…" He turned his head to see that, with Gaara still being on his shoulder, the only thing Temari could see was Gaara's ass. "Well, I guess you can't, so I'll just tell you. Your brother is alive… for now. I will just take him to Akatsuki base where they will extract biju from him."
"What? NO!" Temari readied her fan again. "I won't let you!"
"Ahahahaha!" Jin wrapped his free hand around Tayuya's waist. "It was nice seeing you, Temari. Oi, Manda! Playtime's over."
"Damn, and it was just getting good…" The serpent said, disappearing in a puff of smoke.
"You're not going anywhere, Kisaragi!" Baki stated angrily. "Return Kazekage-sama this instant!"
"Hmm… Let me think for two seconds." Jin smirked. "Nah. Ja-ne!" And with that he and Tayuya disappeared in a flash of yellow.
"Damn it!" Baki cursed.
"Gaara… What are we going to do, Baki-sensei?" Temari asked.
"We will need some help on this one…"
Wind country border…
"Why did you do that?" Tayuya asked. "We could get out of there without it."
"No." Naruto said stoically. "I want them to know…"
"What?"
"Everything." He stated. "Akatsuki's plans, our position and who exactly the attackers were."
"But why do that? I mean, you could always do that later."
Naruto smirked. "Oh, I just want for her to rush after me without thinking. After all, I haven't seen my dear sister in what, three years? I guess I just miss her too much."
Tayuya scowled at that. "Fucking asshole…"
Konohagakure no sato. Akimichi's BBQ restaurant…
"Tsubaki-chan was awesome!" Kiba told everyone who missed the display of strength between her and her father.
Those persons were of course their parents, who were at work at the time. But they sure weren't going to miss Tsubaki's welcoming party. Yeah, all were present… all except Hyugas that is…
Tsubaki smiled at enthusiastic Inuzuka. "Thank you, Kiba, but could you please stop doing that? You said that I'm awesome about thirty times already."
Kiba blushed. "Yeah, but… you're awesome!"
Everyone chuckled at that.
"So, what are your plans, Tsubaki-chan?" Kakashi asked. "Are you ready to rejoin team seven?"
Tsubaki's smile faded. "Actualy…" She turned to her father, who was unusually silent. "The course of my actions depends on what I'll hear from my father."
Minato bit his lip and tried to evade that conversation. "Well, if you're talking about chuunin exams…"
"No, father." Tsbaki said calmly. "You know exactly what I was talking about. You said you'll have information…"
Yondaime sighed. "Tsubaki, let's… let's at least save it for tomorrow. Today is a joyful day, let's enjoy while we can.
The girl nodded slowly. "Very well. So… You all saw my skills, how about you tell me what you have learned?"
"Sure thing!" Kiba jumped at the chance to brag about his skills. "I improved my sense of smell! Now it's even better than ninja dogs'!"
"Wow, that's…" Tsubaki didn't know how to say it, but to learn one thing in three years, well, that was… "…Umm… Impressive."
"Ha, you bet!" Kiba smiled widely.
"What about you, guys?" She turned to Gai's team… and her eyes narrowed.
"Yosh!" Lee exclaimed. "I…!"
"Sorry, Lee." Tsubaki interrupted. "You can tell me later. Now I'd like to have a few words with you."
"Umm, sure."
Tsubaki stood up. "Let's go outside."
Outside…
"I'm sorry for being rude…" Tsubaki began when she and one other person got out of the building. "Actually I don't even know what your name is."
Another girl shrugged. "It's Kin, Tsuchi Kin."
"Right." Tsubaki's look became dangerous. "I remember you being on Hidden Sound team three years ago. What are you doing here?"
Kin gave a sheepish smile. "Well, I kind of defected before the invasion started. And later, after what happened to Hyuga Neji, I became good friends with Tenten, so Hokage-sama offered me a spot on team Gai."
"I see… And how were you able to defect?" The red head asked. "I don't think father would take you in just because you asked."
Kin paused. "Well, Jin-kun helped me and…"
That was a wrong thing to say.
"Gah!" Raven haired girl gasped when she was raised by her throat and slammed into a wall.
"What do you know about him?" Tsubaki asked dangerously.
"Cough… I… I don't know anything!" Kin tried to struggle out of Tsubaki's grip, but it was in vain.
"Don't lie." Tsubaki closed her eyes and opened them once again. But when she did, they were not her usual blue, but yellow. "I have a pretty good sense in this mode, so I'll know if you lie. Now I'll ask again, what do you know about Jin Kisaragi?"
"I don't know…!"
"My patience is running thin." Subaki stated, clenching her fist tighter.
"Cough… Alright! I'll tell you, just… cough… put me down!"
Tsubaki released her hold and Kin fell on her knees coughing.
"Talk."
"Cough, cough… I heard rumors he joined an organization named Akatsuki…"
"Tell me something I don't know."
"Gh…" Kin slowly stood up. "I… I don't know much about him specifically, but I know he works with a partner."
Tsubaki's eyebrows furrowed. "Who is he?"
"She." Kin corrected. "A girl named Tayuya…"
Tsubaki's eyes widened. 'So Shikamaru's reports were true.' "Continue."
"Well, I once heard that this Tayuya is important for some reason and that she knows him better than anyone." Kin stated. "If you want information about him, she is your person. That's all I know, I swear!"
"Hmm… Alright." Tsubaki nodded, visibly relaxing. "I'm sorry I was rough before, but I sometimes lose control when it comes to him."
"It's alright, I understand."
"Peace?"
"Peace."
"Okay, let's go back inside…"
Akimichi's BBQ restaurant…
"So? Had a little girlish conversation?" Jiraya asked with a sly smile.
Tsubaki smiled back. "I'm sorry, sensei, but there was nothing to take your notes from."
"WHAT?" Kushina screamed madly. "He was taking notes from you?"
Tsubaki looked startled. "Umm… Well yes. I saw Jiraya-sensei writing madly in his notebook every time I was in my bikini suit. Or when I was training with water. Or with oil on the toad mountain…"
The look on Kushina's face made it official, Jiraya was dead.
"He sometimes even asked if I could undress for him…"
"WHAT?"
Tsubaki shrugged. "Well, it's not like he didn't see it before. Besides, why would I mind him looking at me? It's not a crime…"
That second Kiba fell unconscious with a nose bleed. Choji and Lee were blushing madly. Even Shino's face was a little red. Minato stayed conscious only because it was his daughter. And Kakashi was giggling to himself.
The only ones who weren't affected were Shikamaru, who said it was troublesome; and Gai, who was troublesome.
"You know, Jiraya…" Kushina turned to the sannin. "Killing you will be too easy. I will…"
"Stop it, mother." Tsubaki interrupted.
"But Tsubaki! He was looking at you as a sex tool!" Her mother screamed.
Tsubaki raised an eyebrow. "So? He wasn't trying to do anything. Besides, do you think if you beat him he will change his mind?
That shocked every girl to the core.
"What, you were actually thinking that?" Tsubaki asked incredulously. "That's ridiculous! If a man looks at a woman like that, that means he finds her beautiful and attracting. I would be insulted if I didn't receive such looks!"
"Uh, I'm sorry…" Someone interrupted her tirade. "Are you Namikaze Tsubaki-san?"
The girl slowly turned her head. "Yes, I am. And who might you be?"
"My name is Hyuga Hanabi. I am Hinata-nee's younger sister, and I have a message from her to you. Nee-sama wants to meet you tonight at training grounds."
Tsubaki tilted her head to the side. "Well that's… unexpected. But why at night? Couldn't she just come here?"
"I don't know, but…" Hanabi hesitated. "I suggest you don't go."
"Huh, why?"
"Nee-sama is very angry at you for some reason." Younger girl explained. "I don't think her intentions are friendly."
Tsubaki's eyes narrowed. "I see… Well, you can tell Hinata that I will be there." She paused. "For sure."
Akatsuki hideout…
"Open up, you ugly bastards!" Naruto shouted, banging his foot on a massive boulder. "I said open up, you pieces of trash!"
Suddenly the rock moved.
"Ah-ha! Scared, are you!" The blond said with a smirk.
"Ahem."
He looked over his shoulder and saw Tayuya making a handseal.
"Umm… I guess that works too…"
The girl just rolled her eyes and entered. "Come on already. I swear we're going to have three extremely exciting days."
Naruto frowned. "Yeah, I heard that."
Then a silhouette appeared from darkness. "That was quick."
Naruto shrugged. "Did you expect us to drink tea with them?"
"No." Pain's eyes narrowed. "Deidara, Sasori! Come out, they're here."
"Oh, they really are here, un."
"Eh?" Tayuya turned around. "What are you guys doing here?"
"We were sent here in case you two screw up." Sasori spoke from his puppet. "Which is highly unlikely, just as I said."
"Ho, thanks for the confidence." Naruto smirked.
"Enough chit-chat. You can save that for later." Pain said, summoning a huge statue. "We must seal Ichibi immediately."
"Hai, hai…"
"Oi, Jin?" Tayuya whispered quietly.
"Hm?"
"What are we gonna do?" She asked only for him to hear. "If those two are here, we…"
The blond smiled at her reassuringly. "Don't worry; I knew they'll be here."
Tayuya's eyebrows rose. "But how?"
Naruto's smile widened. "That was my plan…"
Sunagakure no sato…
"Gah, dammit!"
"Hold on, Kankurou!" Temari pleaded.
"I'm sorry, Temari-sama, but we have never met with this kind of poison before." One of the medics stated.
"This is bad." Baki spoke. "I guess we'll have to ask them. I'll go and…"
"No, I will." Temari stood up. "I will ask them."
"Hmm… very well." Baki nodded and Temari walked out, remembering what she saw…
Flashback…
'Burn it if you're stupid.' Temari read on a scroll she accidentally found in her robe. Carefully she unrolled it and started to read.
'Guess who!' It started. 'If you're reading this, then I'm dead… Hahaha, no. Not me, but your brother…'
Temari's anger rose, but she decided to finish reading before deciding anything.
'…Well yeah, sorry about that, but it couldn't be helped. For my plan to succeed your brother has to die. That, however, doesn't mean you will lose him. I promised you, didn't I? So here is what you must do in order to have your brother back. Inside of this scroll you are reading right now there is another scroll, which is sealed. You must bring that one scroll to an old hag named Chiyo. Do you know one? If you don't, ask someone else. If you do that, everything will be perfect.
Oh, and nice ass by the way…'
End flashback…
"Let's see if your word means anything." Temari whispered, entering large gate.
"Who is it?" She heard elderly voice.
"My name is Temari." She walked closer to a small pond and kneeled. "A jounin of Sunagakure no sato. We require your help."
"We retired a long time ago." The old woman replied. "Why should we do anything?"
"Umm… Chiyo-baasama?" Temari asked.
"Yes?"
"I… I have a scroll for you."
"For me?" Chiyo looked genuinely surprised. "Well, where is it?"
"Here." Temari handed the scroll over.
"Let's see…"
The old woman unrolled the scroll and…
"Hahahahahahahahaha!" Started to laugh madly. "Cunning son of a bitch!"
"Oi, nee-chan! What is that?"
"Nothing, Ebisu." Chiyo set the scroll on fire and threw it away. "But it looks like I will have one last mission." She stood up. "What is required of me?"
"Just like that?" Temari asked in surprise.
Chiyo snorted. "What did you expect? My whining? You can still hear that, you know. I'm not in a rush."
Temari sweatdropped. "I'd rather not…"
Konohagakure no sato. Training grounds…
'What a quiet night…' Tsubaki thought, standing in the middle of an empty training field. 'Nights like these bring back memories.' She closed her eyes slowly and let a smile on her face.
Only to drop it three seconds later.
"I know you're here, Hinata." The red head said, still not opening her eyes. "You can hide your presence very well, but I could feel your intent from a mile away."
"Hn, showing off your skills to everyone. That's so like you, Namikaze."
Tsubaki opened her eyes just as slowly. Yep, there stood Hinata… or what she assumed was Hinata.
No, she was not ugly as hell, or wrapped in clothes from head to toe. On the contrary, Hinata became quite the looker in these three years much like Tsubaki herself. And her clothes consisted only from one black t-shirt and a pair of tight shorts.
Then what was different?
The stance… the look. Tsubaki saw no traces of Hinata she knew in the person she was now witnessing. There were no more covering, no more stuttering… no more doubt. Gone was the shy girl who always hid behind someone's back.
'So the kitty is finally out of hiding...' Tsubaki's eyes narrowed at the thought. 'No. She did not come out of hiding herself. He brought her out.'
Hinata said nothing; she just continued to stare at Tsubaki silently.
"Well? Are you going to look the whole night, or maybe you'll finally tell me why you called me out here for?" The red head asked.
Hinata just tilted her head to the side. "Fascinating…" She paused. "The prodigal daughter has returned! Oh joy! Hokage-sama is happy, everyone else is ecstatic! Cute little girl has surpassed a sannin!"
Tsubaki's eyes narrowed even more. "News travel fast I see."
"Oh, indeed." Hinata replied. "I even took a break from missions in order not to miss your little performance."
"Thank you." Tsubaki nodded mockingly.
"You are welcome." Hinata nodded back with a smirk. "However, I couldn't help but notice the look of disappointment on your face after the fight ended. Perhaps that was not the outcome you were hoping for?"
Tsubaki gritted her teeth. "What do you want, Hinata?"
Hinata dropped her smirk. "I want to know just one thing… What did he ever see in you?"
"W-What? What did you say?" She actually had a great idea, but she decided to ask anyway.
"You heard exactly what I said!" Hinata shouted in anger. "I was always looking at you back then… Fuck, I looked up to you! Daughter of the Hokage, the most promising student since Uchiha Itachi, the kind heart, the soul of every company… simply a pretty face! We were so alike, and so different at the same time… But you, you had everything! Friends, a loving family, support of every person alive. I would've been overjoyed if I had at least one of those!"
"What are you talking about?" Tsubaki wondered. "Are you holding me responsible for your hardships in life?"
"For that?" Hinata responded. "No, not for that." She shook her head. "I never had any problem with you. I understood that every downside of my life is because of me and nobody else. But then… then he came."
Tsubaki's eyebrows rose. 'Are we thinking about the same person right now?'
"He came and completely destroyed my world!" Hinata shouted. "Everything I believed in, he broke as easily as you can break a match! By defying the authority, by doing what he wanted… by being so strong and determined…"
'Yeah.' Tsubaki nodded mentally. 'Definitely the same person.'
"And no wonder he got his sights on you." The Hyuga heiress finished her sentence. "It didn't surprise me at all. I didn't feel jealousy though. Seeing you two together was… right. It was like something decided by heavens the moment you two were born. I was… fascinated just by looking at you. Of course I never believed someone like him could even turn my way…" She paused. "And I was proven wrong yet again. He came and… and I changed. I became the person I'm happy to see in the mirror every morning. And that's all because of him!" She held another pause, taking her time to glare right in Tsubaki's eyes. "And then he left."
'She'd better not mean what I think she does.' Tsubaki thought as anger started to crawl into her head.
"I couldn't believe it at first…" Hinata continued. "He simply went and betrayed the village. I had you know that I was thinking long and hard about this."
"About what?" Tsubaki asked.
"About what reason he could have for leaving." Hinata stated. "With such power at his age he could've become the greatest shinobi in history of this village. Every shinobi from genins to ANBU had respect for him. And he also had you…"
Tsubaki's fists clenched.
"And I started to look for the reason. Was it the village? No, I checked the records. He was paid quite well. Then what was it, the people? No, even ANBU didn't hold a grudge for that incident years ago. Say… what's left?" Hnata asked, smirking arrogantly. "You are."
Tsubaki was losing her cool at alarming rate.
"Calm down, kid. You don't want to lose it inside of the village…"
"…" The red head said nothing, she was just trying to burn a hole through Hinata's head with her glare.
"Ah, you don't like what I'm saying it seems." The Hyuga heiress said as her smirk widened. "Harsh truth… it hurts, isn't it? Tell me, how does it feel to know that he left because of you…?"
"SHUT UP!" Tsubaki shouted. "You know nothing!"
"Oh, do I?" Hinata mocked. "And I think I know quite enough! How dare you to say that you love him one second and trade him for that Uchiha piece of trash the next one?"
"W-WHAT?"
"Surprised? Yeah, I know even things like these!" Hinata shouted; all playfulness leaving her voice. "You drove him away! YOU DID! And now you're back… saying that you're going to bring both of them back. Bring them back just to choose Uchiha over him again! I WON'T HAVE IT!" She took a battle stance. "You're not going after him! I am the one who's going to bring him back! And I will never let you near him again!"
Tsubaki just stood silently in shock for some seconds. Then her head lowered slowly…
"You…" She muttered and looked back at Hinata with as much anger as she could master. "You will regret saying this!" With that Hokage's daughter disappeared in a flash of yellow, but…
"Hakkesho Kaiten!"
"Gah!" Tsubaki was thrown back by the famous Hyuga technique.
"Hmhmhm…" Hinata chuckled, walking slowly towards downed Tsubaki. "Teleporting behind your enemy, how predictable." She mocked, looking down at fuming Tsubaki. "But in my case it's useless! Byakugan allows me to see everything around me, so I will know exactly where you will appear even before you do!"
"Tch." Tsubaki spat some blood and stood up. "Then I'll just have to take you down the old fashioned way!" With that she took out the sword of Raijin and attacked Hinata head on.
"Hn." Raven haired girl backed away, evading several sword slashes. Quickly she tried to sidestep another strike and get Tsubaki from behind, but instead got a hard kick to the ribs.
"Guh!" Hinata fell down on her back, clutching her chest. "You…" She slowly stood up and glared at her opponent. "You are going to pay for that!"
Tsubaki only narrowed her eyes…
"HAAAAA!" Hinata gathered chakra in her palms. "Hakke Kusho!" She shouted, thrusting her right hand forward.
Tsubaki didn't know what that was, but all her instincts screamed to evade the attack. So she did… teleporting away from the line of attack… Never in her life was she more shocked.
Hinata was already there.
"Hakke Rokujouyonshou!" She screamed, attacking every major point of Tsubaki's body.
"AAAAAAAHHH!" The red head screamed in pain.
"Game over." Hinata finished, striking the last spot and finally allowing Tsubaki to fall limply on the ground. "Huff… Huff… Hmhmhm…" She chuckled. "Way too easy. I can't believe Jiraya is that weak…" She said looking down at her opponent victoriously. "Or perhaps he simply went easy on you because you're a girl… or Hokage's daughter… or maybe both? Anyway, it doesn't matter to me. What does matter is that you wanted to go after him."
"AH!" Tsubaki screamed again when Hinata's foot landed on her abdomen.
"You can't with this kind of strength!" The Hyuga heiress stated. "You have missed your chance! I am the only one for him now! Jin-kun will be mine!"
Tsubaki's eyes turned red…
"Don't! You can't let it out here!"
"…"
"Control yourself! Do not let her words get into your head!"
"…"
"STOP!"
"Huh?" Hinata exclaimed as Tsubaki's hand suddenly caught her ankle. "Still trying to struggle? You… What the…?" She looked at said arm… only to see claws instead of nails.
"So you think I lack strength…" Tsubaki's low hiss sounded from below. "Well congratulations! Because right here and now you will be the first resident of Konoha who will actually see my real strength!"
Hinata only had the time to widen her eyes before she was thrown all the way through the training field.
"AH!" Hinata yelped when her back hit the tree. "Impossible… How could she do that from her position?"
"Not impossible." Sounded from behind, making Hinata's heart skip a beat. "Just too difficult for your limited mind to understand." Tsubaki replied, just before her fist hit Hinata's face.
"Gah!" Raven haired girl's body rolled on the ground. "Cough… You…" She looked at Tsubaki again, noticing the change in girl's body, voice, chakra system… and the look on her face. "What are you?"
"What I am?" Tsubaki asked in amusement, walking towards downed Hinata. "Something that you will never understand!" She screamed, picking Hinata up by the throat. "Something that only he can understand!"
"Gh!" Hinata tried to struggle, but then Tsubaki's grip became stronger. 'Dammit… can't breathe…'
"Useless fool!" Tsubaki spat. "Jin used you up and threw away! He didn't kill you simply on a whim and I bet he didn't even turn around when he left you in that forest! Imbecile!" She threw Hinata on the ground with tremendous force.
"Ah!"
"You're no match for him!" Tsubaki shouted, releasing her killing intent. "I am the only one who knows what he's really capable of! And if you think that he will ever be yours…" She smiled wickedly and created Rasengan in her right hand. "You've got another thing coming!"
"No!" Hinata screamed when Tsubaki took a step forward and… fell down on her face. "W-What?"
"Looks like we made it."
"Thank god… Take care of your daughter, Minato. I will speak with this one."
"Hai, sensei." Yondaime took his daughter and disappeared in a flash of yellow.
"J-Jiraya-san?" Hinata stuttered.
"You did a very stupid thing, young lady. And it almost caused the destruction of this village." The sannin spoke.
Hinata's eyes widened. "W-What are you talking about?"
Jiraya sighed. "I'm saying that if Tsubaki-chan would've released her full power it would've taken all of my and Minato's strength to stop her."
"Is she… that powerful?"
"She is." Jiraya confirmed. "And I would really appreciate if you don't try to anger her again."
"I…" Hinata looked down. "I won't." She stated. "In truth, I… I believed that she was weak to do what she's aiming to do. I thought I could do better… But with this kind of strength she will have no problem bringing him back." She then smiled sadly. "Knowing that he's back will be good enough for me… At least enough for me to continue moving forvard."
Jiraya frowned at the girl. "I hope you are right…" He said. 'Though deep inside I doubt it… really doubt it.'
...
Darthemius: Well, that's it for the chapter. But since I was gone for so long…
...
Omake: Code EHD…
...
Tifa: I hope you don't mind scrambled eggs… That's the only thing I can cook anyway.
Darthemius (Waving his hand): Not at all. I'm surprised you even agreed to cook something for me.
Tifa (Smiling): Well, I wouldn't be so surprised after that.
Darthemius (Raising an eyebrow): That? Oh, you mean on the balcony?
Tifa: Sure. That was…
Suddenly…
Naruto (Busting through the door): Darth!
Darthemius: The fuck? That was my favorite door!
Naruto (Glancing over his shoulder): Ahaha… Umm… Ups?
Darthemius: Don't ups me! Why are you busting in anyway? You have a key, you moron!
Naruto: Okay, okay! I'll buy you a new one, sheesh. But check this out, we have a job!
Darthemius (Furrowing his eyebrows): Are you shitting me?
Naruto: No, man! We have another job! What's better… (Taking out a suitcase) We've already been paid!
Darthemius: I take it back, you can break another door…
Tifa: And what's that job?
Naruto: Oh, hi there, Tif. Didn't notice ya… By the way, why are you wearing nothing but an apron?
Tifa: Well, I was cooking…
Darthemius: Later. What's the job?
Naruto: Oh yeah, that… Well, we'd better wait for the rest.
Darthemius (Raising an eyebrow): The rest?
Two hours later…
Darthemius: Stop yelling, everyone! Now… (Turning to Naruto) Are you finally going to tell us what you gathered so many people for?
Alucard: I second that! I have people to kill, you know.
Aizen: Well, I don't mind. Being out of prison is nice…
Naruto: Okay, okay! You see, the thing is BANDAI has sponsored a "Code Geass" remake.
Sephiroth: And what do we have to do with that? Wouldn't the original crew be more fit for the job?
Naruto (Smiling sheepishly): Well… The thing is they forgot robots' allowance. So all robots left the project, saying that they will get more in Transformers. So we'll have to completely redo Code Geass WITHOUT robots.
Trish: Strange. I thought all their fights were with robots…
Naruto: Exactly! So they needed someone who could make awesome action scenes without robots. And that's where we come in! The payment is more than great. All we have to do is play in the damn anime.
Tifa: Fine, fine… So, how are we gonna do this?
Naruto: Well, since I got you all here, I will be the fucking director. (Drawing his gun) Any objections?
Everyone: NO!
Naruto (Smiling): Good. Then we can skip to the role assignment. Lelouch Lamperouge – Darthemius.
Darthemius: What? But I don't have any powers!
Naruto (Waving his hand): Don't worry, pal. Lelouch never fought anyway. Besides, you have that look in your eyes when you're drunk. We'll just hit you in the face a couple of times and call it a Geass.
Darthemius (Skeptically): Great…
Naruto: Okay, next! C.C. – Trish.
Trish: Hell yeah! I'm playing a bitch!
Naruto: Umm… A witch.
Trish: Shut the fuck up.
Naruto: Umm… okay. By the way, our Code Geass will have MA rating, so expect a lot of sex scenes. (Pointing at Trish and Darthemius) Especially you two.
Trish: Alright!
Darthemius: I'm dead.
Tifa: Unfair! I want to have sex scenes too!
Naruto: Ah, speaking of which… Tifa, you play Kozuki Kallen.
Tifa: Great! Umm… Who's Kozuki Kallen?
Naruto (Slapping his face): Well, a girl who… Damn, it's too hard to explain. Just do whatever the fuck I tell you.
Tifa: Well, fine…
Naruto: Next! Kururugi Suzaku – Aizen Sousuke!
Aizen (Shrugging): Well, I don't really mind, but can you tell me why I'm playing the traitor, who can stab their friends in the back and smile at the same time…? Oh…
Naruto: Exactly. That and your hair color. Besides, Suzaku has the most fighting scenes in the picture, and we need these scenes to be awesome and badass. Okay, next! Emperor Charles – Alucard!
Alucard: Am I the main villain?
Naruto: Well… depending on the point of view.
Alucard: Then I refuse to play in…
Naruto: Do I need to call Isabella?
Alucard (With wide eyes): NO! Anything but that! Alright, I'll play, just… just don't call her.
Naruto: Great! Besides, who else can play the undying motherfucker with long hair and stupid dress?
Alucard: Hey, it's not stupid! It's…
Naruto: Okay, next! Prince Shnizel – Albert Wesker!
Wesker: Hey, why me?
Naruto: Oh, come on! A blonde haired guy with a million dollar smile, who wanted to become a god by killing billions of people?
Wesker: Now I definitely need to meet the guy.
Naruto: Sure, you do. Okay, next! Princess Euphemia – Usagi Tsukino!
Usagi: Cool! A have a role!
Wesker: What? I thought we have only evil guys here.
Tifa: Hey, I'm not evil!
Wesker: Oh, sorry… But hey, you slept with Darth.
Usagi: Umm… I did too.
Trish: I wonder who didn't…
Darthemius: Enough already!
Aizen: Umm, a moment, Naruto. I just looked over the script, and it says that Suzaku falls in love with Eauphemia. And since we have MA rating, does that mean…
Naruto: For sure! You two will fuck half of the time since I just hate when Euphemia speaks.
Aizen: Hmm… While I don't mind, she is just a girl…
Darthemius: HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA! Say that again when she sucks your balls out.
Naruto: Discuss that later. Next! Jeremiyah Gottwald – Sephiroth.
Sephiroth: Hm.
Naruto: Finally someone who doesn't throw a fucking tantrum! Thanks, Seph.
Sephiroth: Anytime.
Naruto: Okay, next! Oh shit…
Alucard: What? What's wrong?
Naruto: Now that could be a problem. (Looking around the room) I really have no idea who can actually play… that.
Trish: That?
Naruto (Nodding his head): Lelouch's sister Nunnally…
Wesker: What's so difficult?
Naruto (Rolling his eyes): Can you play a useless girl, who can't walk, can't see… probably can't think straight either. And on top of that she wants the world to be kinder.
Silence…
Naruto: I thought so. Now I guess this meeting is adjourned until we find a character like that…
Alucard: We can always make one.
Wesker: Really? How?
Alucard: Come on! Take a girl, tear out her eyes and legs and voila!
Darthemius: And what about the kinder world?
Alucard: Genjutsu!
Naruto: Hmm… Not a bad idea. But we still need to do that. So until then get the hell out of here and learn your damn roles!
Darthemius: I live here.
Naruto: Oh, alright. I guess you can stay…
To be continued… probably…
...
And that's all for today.
Fuck like hell and sleep well!
Darthemius.