A/N: Sorry about the 1 week+ hiatus! I didn't mention that I was going on a holiday to Australia the last time I posted a chapter. Anyway, you guys (all nine of you followers! I am happy for such good numbers!) must be dying to read a new chapter, so let's start chapter 14! After the disclaimer *ahem*
All characters, place settings and other items belong to their respective copyright holders, Bethesda Games Studios/Bethesda Softworks LLC./ZeniMax Media Inc. and Game Freak/The Pokémon Company/Creatures Inc./Nintendo. Characters that does not appear in the original content of The Elder Scrolls and/or Pokémon (OC, or original character) that bears, but not limited to, a name similar to other popular story character names and/or character behaviour and attitude are purely coincidental.
WARNING! The following chapter may contain some content that some people might feel uncomfortable reading. Some scenes include graphical descriptions of gore, thus this chapter is suited to be rated M for Mature. Reader discretion is advised.
Chapter 14: The Cooking Cook-off
[Moth Priest Quarters]
"Anybody in?" Janice called out as she knocked on the wooden door with her right hand, the three Elder Scrolls tucked in her left.
"Your Majesty! One moment, please." A Moth Priest called out as footsteps pounding the stone floor sounded.
"Welcome to the Moth Priest Quarters, Your Majesty." The Moth Priest said as he opened the door to let Janice in. "How can I help you?"
"I am dropping these Elder Scrolls off." Janice said as she handed the Moth Priest the stack of three Elder Scrolls.
"Where did you find these, Your Majesty?" The Moth Priest exclaimed in awe.
"Two vampires were holding onto two of them. I found the other one in a Dwemer ruin." Janice said, pointing to the respective scrolls. "I get that the Elder Scrolls library is empty right about now, right?"
"Yes, the scrolls vanished from the library without anybody moving them. These scrolls you give me though, they don't look like the ones that had disappeared." The Moth Priest said as he and Janice went to sit at a table. "These are still in their casing. The ones we lost were just bronze scrolls."
"I see. By the way, the scrolls that were with the vampires seems to contain some false prophecy. The one that I dragged from the ruin contained part of that and the prophecy about me." Janice explained.
"Well, we will take a closer look at the Elder Scrolls you obtained from the vampires. Meanwhile, do you want to further read the Elder Scroll you obtained from the Dwemers?" The Moth Priest asked.
"That would be great. Dexion Evicus went blind from trying to read one of them though." Janice said.
"Dexion? You met him?" The Moth Priest asked. "What happened to him? We never heard from him after he depart for Skyrim."
"He… Umm… Got killed in a vampire ambush on the Dawnguard Castle after he told me what to do in the Ancestor Glade," Janice said, trying to cover up the fact that he is still in Volkihar Castle under her vampiric seduction spell.
"Oh, that was tragic. He should have went with more guards." The Moth Priest said sadly. "Wait, did you say you went to an Ancestor Glade?" The Moth Priest said excitedly.
"I had to after Dexion went blind from the first reading. I read all the scrolls to locate the location of Auriel's Bow so that I can collect it to prevent Harkon from blacking out the sky forever." Janice said. "That was also when I learnt that the brother of one of the last Snow Elves had written the false prophecies in the scrolls to spur Harkon into blacking out the sun."
"You have Auriel's Bow?" The Moth Priest asked cautiously. "The bow of a god and the very bow that shot Lorkhan's heart into present day Vvardenfell?"
"Yes… Why does that matter? The Staff of Magnus seems to have spooked Cocceius a lot." Janice asked, not really getting why everybody was scared at such mentions of these weapons.
"Why does it matter?! It matters a lot! Do you know what these two powerful god artifacts make you?" The Moth Priest exclaimed.
"A… Mortal god?" Janice answered carefully.
"Right! And- oh wait… Nevermind." The Moth Priest said after realizing who Janice is now.
"So, what is going to happen to these scrolls?" Janice asked after a few minutes of awkward silence.
"We will read it and record whatever lore is written. We have to correct the vandalism done on the Elder Scrolls that you pointed out." The Moth Priest said.
"Good. How long do you need to prepare for a reading? I am anxious to know what other things are written in my scroll." Janice asked.
"We should have everything ready for a reading by seven this evening, Your Majesty." The Moth Priest said as Janice stood up.
"Great, I need to attend to some things." Janice announced as she exited the room.
[Imperial Armoury, 2 p.m.]
"Do you HAVE to follow me to the forge?" Janice asked Alduin.
"I still do not trust you not to use dragon remains." Alduin replied.
"It is just a simple repair job! And it isn't even dragonplate gauntlets." Janice nearly shouted in frustration.
"Like I would trust you not to do some weird tempering using dragon remains to reinforce your armour." Alduin retorted, luckily for them, they were in a separate room that was built for Janice herself since she loved to forge armour and weapons in her free time.
"I wouldn't do that unless it was necessary." Janice said as she examined the broken gauntlets.
"That's strange… The metal have a scaly texture to it." Janice whispered as she squinted at one of the gauntlets so closely that the gauntlet nearly covered the upper part of her face. "It wasn't like this when I was tempering it after I found it."
"So, what is that supposed to mean?" Alduin asked.
"It seems that the armour has taken on the form of my scales, besides the colour." Janice explained as she ran a finger against the flow of the scales, feeling all the roughness instead of the smooth, slick metal that it was.
"Does this mean that you have to use dragon scales to temper it now?" Alduin asked.
"More than that, I have a plan." Janice smirked.
"I don't like where this is going." Alduin said.
Putting on her blacksmith clothes that was provided for her, she placed the four pieces of Daedric armour set on the workbench. "What are you going to do?" Alduin asked as Janice went over to the supply cabinet.
"First, I am doing maintenance for the other parts; it should only require some ebony ingots. Then I am going to repair the gauntlets by mending the ebony layer underneath." Janice said as she pulled out four ebony ingots. "Next, I will need to strengthen the armour using Daedra blood from their hearts and tempering the scales with some legendary dragon scales." Janice continued as she carried a bowl of four Daedra hearts in one hand and a stack of purple dragon scales in the other.
"Can't you just stop using our kin?" Alduin said, on the verge of screaming in anger.
"Sorry, but I just find them easy to craft." Janice shrugged as she placed the items down on the workbench.
"How would you like to be skinned and de-boned just to become someone's helmet? Or have someone skin your fur for a fur coat?" Alduin spat.
"Not this again. Look, they were threatening someone's life when I was going home after killing some troublemaking forsworn in The Reach." Janice said.
"Do you remember every dragon you kill?" Alduin asked in surprise.
"No, I made that up. Most of it was because I hunt them." Janice said as she started to repair and upgrade her armour.
"You take everything for granted do you? Dragons don't respawn infinitely like some demented video game." Alduin said in a trance-like state.
"Are you alright?" Janice asked the dragon.
"Huh? What? What in Oblivion did I just say?!" Alduin exclaimed in shock.
"Look, they do, so don't worry about." Janice said as she weave the inner fabric of her gauntlets back together.
"Okay, fine!" Alduin said, backing down, "I am just going to sit here."
[Two hours later]
"This took longer than I thought it would," Janice said, panting like a cat would as well as wiping her sweaty hands on the apron.
"Sometimes being a Khajiit is very inconvenient," Alduin commented. "You don't let heat dissipate easily because of all the fur."
"Right, and reptiles like you need to bask in the sun all morning because you are cold-blooded." Janice shot back.
"Dragons can regulate their temperature by using the fire that burns within us. So, what have you made?" Alduin asked, hoping to change the subject.
"I am just going to ignore the previous comment. So, the scales have given the armour extra protection and I have modify it to refract light so that I look almost invisible when I sneak." Janice said as she put the armour and cloak back on.
"Do you even need to be invisible when you sneak? I can't even see you when you were at Kynesgrove until you stood up." Alduin asked.
"Anything that makes me harder to detect is always good," Janice said.
"But you are already hard to detect." Alduin rebutted.
"Nobody can know whether the guy you sneaking up on have sharp eyes." Janice said.
"Whatever, it is your armour, not mine." Alduin said dismissively.
"Let's go, I need to oversee the preparations of the cook-off." Janice said.
"Does that include beef steak?" Alduin asked.
"Do you eat anything else?" Janice shot a question back.
"I would love to have a meat pie, but they explode in my face." Alduin answered.
"Right, how about other meats? Like chicken, rabbit and salmon?" Janice asked as she entered the palace grounds.
"Chicken is good, rabbit is too stringy and salmon is best raw." Alduin answered.
"So you do eat other foods, good for you. Anyway, I think I can arrange that. I just sent an invitation, the rules aren't set in stone, yet." Janice said as she took out a quill and paper to write the rules and prizes down.
"'First rule: Ingredients are sourced by the chef. Second rule: No talking between participants when competition starts. Third rule: All preparations must be made on set. Participants are required to cook a sample of beef steak and venison stew for the competition in six hours. Three participants will be rewarded handsomely. Prizes include a big sum of gold, an official seal representing the Empress's official endorsement. The first place winner shall be the Royal Family's personal cook, the second place winner can become the head chef in the Imperial Palace and the third place winner will be allowed to open a restaurant in the Market District rent free.'" Alduin read the paper aloud. "This is a rather prestigious competition, isn't it?"
"It has to be." Janice said as she hand it to the steward to hand out to the participants. "The Royal Family needs standards, you know."
"Says the woman whose children still haven't gone to school." Alduin stated.
"They are still one year too young to start school and Kindergarten isn't necessary." Janice retorted.
"Fine, so what do we do now? It is still half an hour to dinner." Alduin said.
"I just sit on this throne and wait for whoever needs me." Janice answered, picking up Alduin and placing her onto her lap.
"What about Derkeethus?" Alduin asked.
"He is taking care of some development plans in the city, he should be fine." Janice answered.
"So, we wait…" Alduin said, bored.
"Yeah…" Janice answered in the same bored tone.
[After dinner, Elder Scrolls Library 7 p.m.]
"This should be fun," Alduin said from Janice's shoulder.
"Yes, can't wait what she would get herself into, again." Derkeethus groaned.
"Quiet! The Moth Priest requires a great deal of concentration!" Janice whispered.
"Let the reading begin!" A Moth Priest announced.
"Let's see, it says 'When the Eater of Worlds finds herself needing to redeem herself in servitude to her sister and The Last Dragonborn finds herself leading an Empire, the Empire will find itself going to war with an old enemy.' That is something. Wait, there is more, it is somehow scribbled weirdly though, 'The Last Dragonborn shall take on Harkon as a creature of his race. She will find herself taking on the form of a wolf when avenging the death of an honourable man. She arrives a little too late to stop the Eye of Magnus from being used. She have to redeem a group of thieves from the wrongdoings of one. The Emperor shall die at the hands of the new Empress and that she has to make an agreement with a black tentacled being to stop the First Dragonborn from taking over an island.' That passage is incredibly interesting." A seated Moth Priest read the scroll aloud.
"She is a what?" Cocceius exclaimed. "And she killed Emperor Titus Mede II? Where is she anyway?"
When the Moth Priest had started reading the weirdly phrased paragraph, Janice had grabbed the dragon on her shoulder and quickly snuck out of the room. "What do I do now?" Janice asked Alduin when she reached her room.
"Put on an Amulet of Akatosh and pray that our Father will answer." Alduin said as she dug out two amulets from Janice's bedside chest.
"Right, right. Here goes nothing." Janice said anxiously as she puts the amulet on.
[In Aetherius]
"Father? Akatosh?!" Janice called out when she regained consciousness, not caring that she was not in spirit form where she would have been a dragon.
"You called?" Talos greeted.
"Not you, where is my real father?" Janice asked as she picked up Alduin.
"Somewhere... He is just taking care of something." Talos explained.
"I need him…" Janice said desperately.
"What happened? Maybe I can help." Talos offered.
"I need my father on this, he wrote the Elder Scrolls." Janice said, trying to calm down.
"Oh, so how is life as an Empress then?" Talos asked, trying to lift the boredom that will ensue if they had waited for Akatosh to come.
"The usual, just sitting on the throne looking at reports if need be and- wait, why are you even asking me? You should know." Janice told the man.
"To lift the boredom?" Talos replied defensively.
"Just keep quiet," Janice told Talos.
"Did it work?" Alduin said, stretching herself in Janice's arms.
"Oh good, it did." Alduin exclaimed before Janice could answer.
[Several, what feels like, hours later]
"Hello Janice, my daughter." Akatosh greeted the Khajiit who had sat down on the invisible floor to do some meditation.
"What took you so long? And why didn't you address me by my real name, dad?" Janice asked as she got up.
"That blue bastard (note 1) trapped me in a time paradox again. Took me years to figure out how to get out, well it was years inside the micro dimension." Akatosh explained.
"Who are you referring to?" Janice and Alduin asked in unison.
"Umm… That is a question for another time." Akatosh quickly dodged the heavy explanation.
"So… What about my other question?" Janice asked.
"I thought you would prefer if I call you by your mortal name, Haassotkul." Akatosh answered.
"I am fine with either one. Anyway, I want to ask what was with the awkward paragraph inside the Elder Scroll I had retrieved from the Dwemer ruins? Why do you have to list my past in such detail, or at least highlight some of my secrets?" Janice asked, on the verge of tears.
"The Elder Scrolls can write themselves as time goes on, so your actions were merely recorded." Akatosh explained.
"Can… can you change the words to a more positive light?" Janice stuttered.
"Sure, just promise me that you will not wreak havoc across Nirn with your powers." Akatosh said with pity, stroking Janice's head with a claw.
"I won't, it isn't in my nature to begin with." Janice replied.
"Can I get my powers back? I promise I won't return to that monster I was." Alduin asked sweetly, obviously taking advantage of Akatosh's current pity feelings.
"We both know that isn't true, so shut up." Janice rebutted as she place a muzzle around Alduin's snout, the muzzle seemingly large enough to go over the armour Janice had made.
"You almost got me there you little troublemaker." Akatosh said a little angrily.
"Mmm… MMM!" Alduin tried to screamed as she clawed the tight muzzle.
"Let me take a look at your armour, it had occurred to me that you discovered that your armour have the same scales as your true form." Akatosh requested.
"Can you tell me more about it?" Janice asked, quite curious to what it meant. "And why is my dragon form my 'true' form and not the one that I was born in?"
"Give me your gauntlets and I will explain." Akatosh said as he transforms into a humanoid dragon, much like the one depicted on the stained glass in the Chapel of Akatosh in Kvatch.
"Okay…" Janice said as she took off the white Daedric gauntlets and handed them to Akatosh.
"Wow, you have done an incredible job at improving it." Akatosh said as he examined the gauntlets, taking note of how it refracts light at certain angles to make it look invisible.
"Are you done? My hands feel uncomfortable in this cold air." Janice said after a few minutes, rubbing her hands together for warmth.
"I thought the fur would keep that from happening?" Talos commented.
"It is rather thin around the hands." Janice explained as she tried to use a controlled Flames spell to warm her hands.
"DON'T DO THAT HERE!" Akatosh and Talos exclaimed simultaneously.
"Why?" Janice said as she begun to channel magicka.
"Run!" Talos screamed like a madman as he ran off in a seemingly random direction.
Before Akatosh could say anything, Janice suddenly exclaimed, "Oh no! Something is wrong! I can't stop how much magicka is flowing into the spell!"
Before any of them could react, the spell in Janice's hand exploded violently, engulfing the entire micro-sphere of reality they were in.
"Is everyone okay?" Janice asked in a strange deep voice as the smoke cleared. "What happened to my voice?"
Looking down, she saw that she was huge, about the size of twenty White-Gold Towers stacked on top of each other, but that wasn't the problem that was bothering her. "Why am I a leather clad giant?!" Janice screamed at the top of her lungs.
"Not so loud!" Clucked a soft voice on her giant feet.
"Who's there?" Janice said as she turned around, oblivious to the tiny chicken hanging on tightly to her feet.
"Down here, on your right foot!" The chicken replied.
Kneeling down, Janice slid her head in the direction of the voice. "Dad?" Janice asked cautiously.
"Right, turn me back now or else!" Akatosh clucked.
"Why can't you do it yourself?" Janice asked, puzzled that Akatosh couldn't control his form any longer. "Besides, now you are the Chicken God of Time!" Janice said with a smile.
"You have temporary sapped my powers, and I don't want to be known as the Chicken god!" Akatosh exclaimed angrily. "Do it now or I will add a remark in the scrolls that you turn me into a chicken." Akatosh tried to threaten.
"Alright, just let me do the same for myself first." Janice said before she transforms back into her normal self
"Where is Alduin?" Janice asked as she returned her father to normal.
"Mmm! MMM!" A tiny voice called out.
"Down here!" Akatosh exclaimed as he spotted a green speck on the floor.
Carefully removing the muzzle from a green coloured tiny dragon that looks like Paarthurnax, Janice asked Akatosh, "So, what could have caused that?"
Before Akatosh could answer, however, the green dragon shouted, "Of all the things you could have turned ME into, you have to turn me into the very dragon that I despise?!"
"Relax, the transformations were random, it was never under her control. As for the spell, you shouldn't have tried to use magic in Aetherius until you have the proper training." Akatosh explained as Janice returned Alduin to normal.
"Sorry about that, it is just that this place is cold." Janice said as she took her gauntlets from Akatosh.
"It is fine, it could have been-" Akatosh said before being cut off by a bone-chilling scream.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! My body! My beautiful body! All ruined now!" A woman's voice that sounds more like a zombie's cried. (+1 digital cookie if you guess who this is without reading the paragraphs below)
"What in the Oblivion was that?" Janice asked, before she got her answer.
A female zombie approached her, green skinned with tattered robes that were barely covering the remains of what she possessed. Her jaw hung slacked, part of it showing the bone that was underneath. Eyes completely sunked into the eye sockets, one of them appearing to be in the process of falling out. Her nose was gone, replaced by a triangular hole that all skulls sports. Her entire skull cap was missing, exposing the slightly disturbing pale brain underneath. Strands of black hair clung to the back of the neck in a disorderly fashion. Moving down, what was the neck was now just a grey, disgusting spinal column. Her left arm had fallen off as Janice takes in further details. The left breast was entirely decayed, exposing the ribs, a disgusting black lung and a pumping sickly heart underneath. Janice could have sworn that she saw maggots in the lung when she returned to her room that evening, and what seems like light coming through from the other side. A large hole was present in the abdomen of the zombie woman, her guts showing through. The zombie had her right skeletal hand, that was devoid of flesh, trying to push the organs back in. The skin over her backbone was not present, thus showing the sickly greyish-brown vertebrate in all its disgusting glory. Skipping the hip area, Janice noticed that what was the markings of a shapely leg is now just some very loose skin covering the bone.
"Eww…" Janice and Alduin winced at the sight.
"Dibella! What happened?" Akatosh asked the zombified god.
"How do you know it is her?" Janice interrupted Dibella. "For all we know, it could be an intruder!"
"It is her, there is no mistaking the robes she likes to wear." Akatosh answered.
"Well, before I was so rudely interrupted by the kid, I was going to say that I was coming to report that that fancy goat and that black and blue deer (Note 2) had the cheek to say that their creations were more beautiful than ours! I mean, have you seen some of them? One is a purple blob of sewage and another is a just a bunch of keys (Note 3)!" The zombie tried to explain, her speech hindered by the lack of movement in the lower jaw. "Then, when I came to you, I saw Talos exiting a through a portal to somewhere before a flash of red blanketed my vision! The next thing I knew was that I had a gaping hole in my head." Dibella the zombie exclaimed in anger.
"Sorry about that Dibella." Janice tried to apologize. "I didn't know using my spells in her was this dangerous."
"That- That's fine, just learn from your mistakes." Dibella sighed, "just change me back will you?"
"Hehe, there is but one problem with that." Janice said nervously.
"And what might that be?" Akatosh and Dibella said in unison.
"I don't know how you actually looked like before." Janice confessed.
"You played a part in securing the new Sybil for my temple in Markarth! How do you not know what I look like? That temple is literally filled with my statutes!" Dibella screamed in a way that would make even the most hardy of undead slayers flinch in fright.
"Calm down! I am sure I can give you an alternate form until your powers come back." Janice said, not at all sacred.
"What she said…" Alduin muttered as she hid behind Janice, using her cloak to cover herself.
"You have seen countless undead, especially zombies like the draugr, so why are you so scared?" Janice asked as she picked up the quivering black ball.
"Just shut up and transform her!" Alduin said as she buried her head into Janice's armour-plated chest.
"Hurry up! I don't know how long I can stop my organs from falling out with just one hand!" Dibella shrieked, before her right arm fall off. The unrestricted guts now spewed out across the floor, creating a disgusting blood pool with organs everywhere as well as horrible squelching sounds when they hit the floor.
"Oh goodness!" Akatosh exclaimed, covering his eyes with a selvee.
"Not you too…" Janice sighed at her father.
"These kind of work is usually Arkay's, I just can't stand the sight of such horror!" Akatosh exclaimed in a frightful tone. "I don't even know how you can stand the sight of guts!"
"You do, father, don't lie now." Janice answered.
"Can you transform me into something that is living? I don't feel so good…" Dibella groaned.
"Alright, here goes nothing." Janice said as she transforms the beauty god.
"I don't ever remember giving you permission to cannibalise other humans." Akatosh sighed as Janice finishes.
"What have you turned me into?" Dibella asked, looking herself over.
"Just a carbon copy of me, the most beautiful Khajiit in all of Skyrim." Janice announced proudly.
"What?! I took the form of an Imperial (Note 4) to look beautiful! Can't you have just turn me into an average Imperial woman first?" Dibella exclaimed. "And you aren't even that good looking."
"It could have been worse, the face could have been distorted beyond all comprehension like what 'The Voice' had done to me before settling on this perfectly balanced face." Janice shot back.
"The who now?" Akatosh and Dibella asked as Talos reappeared with a mop.
"Nevermind, just know that I like my face." Janice said as she smiles cutely. "You know, being a cat makes us more picky about our looks than the other races, especially the Orcs."
"Now that you mention it, I do kind of enjoy this new body, though it requires some work later." Dibella said as she swings her new tail.
"What do you mean it requires work?! It is the most perfect Khajiit body that you can find anywhere!" Janice exclaimed in anger.
"You are too muscular for a female, even if you are so skinny. And you have a flat chest!" Dibella answered back, not hiding the intense displeasure in her tone.
"Oooh, burn." Alduin said as she stopped cowering.
"Whatever, is it okay to go back now?" Janice asked Akatosh.
"I will drop you in the time period before the Moth Priest read the passage." Akatosh said as he opened a portal. "You should keep those amulets with you just in case, alright?"
"What about the armour thing?" Alduin asked as she remembered it.
"You just need to know that your scales provide more protection than just physical damage now. Bye!" Akatosh said as he pushed Janice into the portal.
[Elder Scrolls Library, 7:05 p.m.]
"... Wait, there is more, it is somehow weirdly scribbled though, 'The Last Dragonborn shall take on Harkon as a creature of the night with good intentions. She will find herself taking on the form of a wolf when avenging the death of an honourable man. She arrives a little too late to stop the Eye of Magnus from being used. She have to redeem a group of thieves from the wrongdoings of one as it's new Guild master for the greater benefit of Skyrim's criminal underground and reduction of Skyrim's overall crime rate. The Emperor shall die at the hands of the new Empress for he has been tainted with corruption. She has to make an agreement with a black tentacled being to stop the First Dragonborn from taking over an island. She also turned a beautiful god into a Khajiit.' This is interesting. I don't know what it meant by the last sentence though." A seated Moth Priest read the scroll aloud.
"So, you are a vampire, a thief and an assassin that killed the last Emperor over his underground dealings that not even I know about?" Cocceius asked.
"Well, yes." Janice answered truthfully, knowing full well that she has a high chance of not being able to lie her way out since the Elder Scrolls were always true.
"That's… Perfect!" Cocceius exclaimed excitedly.
"Umm… What?" Everybody in the room exclaimed in surprise.
"Don't you see? We need someone with enormous amounts of power and skill, as well as great leadership skills and powerful allies to aid in the war against the Thalmor!" Cocceius exclaimed.
"So… I am not going to jail, am I?" Janice asked.
"Quite the contrary! You shall be known as the Vampiric Dragon Queen of the North!" Cocceius exclaimed excitedly.
"Hey, Wabbajack! Tell Sheogorath to run a sanity check on Cocceius." Janice whispered as she pretended to check her boots.
"A sanity check on this guy? He is so boringly sane that the mind you help me fixed still seem insane by comparison!" Sheogorath's voice echoed in Janice's head.
"That title seem a bit long, but I like it." Janice told the man, not bothering to reply to Sheogorath.
"Good, I shall tell the whole world now! Bye!" Cocceius excitedly announced as he ran off.
"Is it just me or is he crazy?" Alduin asked Janice.
"Sheogorath said he is fine." Janice whispered to Alduin as they left the library.
"Right, what did you do to the man?" Alduin asked.
"I just mentioned to him that I have the Staff of Magnus." Janice told the dragoness on her shoulder.
"That could be the reason why he also seem so scared of pissing you off." Alduin commented. "Just show some people incredible powers and they naturally bend to your will."
"Or he could be right that I need all the help I can get and that I need to be incredibly powerful to defeat the Thalmor. Though isn't me being a demigod more than enough already?" Janice thought the last part aloud.
"The more powerful you are, the more the opposition will fear you and the more your supporters will like you." Alduin said as Janice transforms to fly back upstairs to their rooms.
"Hey! Why do I have to do all the climbing?" Derkeethus complained, oblivious to what just transpired as he was too busy admiring the library to care about the weird passage.
"Would you like to learn how to fly the hard way or the easy way then?" Janice offered as she landed on Derkeethus' shoulder.
"Easy way?" Derkeethus asked cautiously.
"Alright then, prepare yourself." Janice said as she gave Derkeethus the knowledge of flight like the Greybeards had done.
"Cool… How did you learn to do that anyway? The Greybeards don't seem to want anybody to find this trick out." Derkeethus asked as Janice got off his shoulder.
"I had to use my knowledge as an Archmage to reverse engineer their ancient magic spell." Janice explained as she transforms Derkeethus into a smaller version of Paarthurnax.
"Why do you keep turning me into your other green lizard friend?" Derkeethus asked as they flew up the stairs, ignoring the fact that Alduin is now staring daggers at Derkeethus' form.
"He isn't just a 'friend', he is my younger sibling." Janice stated as she pushed open the door. "I just find that he is easier to transform you into than the other green dragons. Mainly because they die too quickly for me to have I good look at them though." Janice confessed.
"Right." Derkeethus said as he climbed onto his side of the bed.
"Paarthurnax! How dare you want to sleep with our sister!" Alduin shouted at the doorway before launching a spear of ice at the green dragon on the bed.
"Wait! Owww…" Janice exclaimed as she took impact.
"What is it? Speak before I kill this traitorous bastard!" Alduin shouted.
"He is Derkeethus, not Paarthurnax. I just made him look like him for I don't know what other green dragons I could transform him into." Janice explained as the spear melted away and her injuries heal quickly.
"Oh, sorry about that, sister." Alduin said as she landed.
"It is fine. Let's just go to sleep." Janice said as she flopped down on the bed next to Derkeethus.
[The next day, after breakfast]
"Good people of the Empire! I have something to announce!" Janice exclaimed on a stage in the gardens. "I am sending four of my- what is it? I should call my housecarls, knights? Alright, fine. As I was saying, I am sending four of my knights to explore some dangerous dungeon in search of rare relics for the Empire!" Janice announced with gusto.
"I love you, Great Dragon Queen!" A weird Imperial supporter shouted.
After sending off her knights to attend to their secret missions for spying on the Thalmor, Janice retreated back to her Throne Room where Alduin was waiting.
"Seems like you are popular, even after they found out about you." Alduin said as she looked up from the newspaper that was placed on a table beside Janice's throne.
"Get off my Throne!" Janice said as she picked up the dragoness and set her on the floor.
"Whatever. Oh look, a commoner is coming in." Alduin pointed out.
"Hail the Vampiric Dragon Queen of The North!" The nord kneeled in respect.
"What is it?" Janice asked the nord.
"Your Majesty, my name is Ragnos. Would you like to officially endorse the White Dragon Cult?" Ragnos asked as he continued to kneel in deep respect.
"The White Dragon Cult? What is it that you do?" Janice asked.
"Not much for now, but we worship you as our only GOD! We will be ready to strike down whoever resist your rule!" Ragnos replied zealously.
"The creation of my dragon cult took centuries! You only need less than a week to have a fully functional cult?! I… I give up." Alduin commented in defeat.
"Don't be like that, I am just more popular." Janice said, clearly trying to rub her newfound fame all over her sister's face.
"You don't have to reiterate that!" Alduin shouted, sobbing.
"Is that Alduin?" Ragnos asked. "By the cult's decree, all evil must be vanquished!" Ragnos announced before charging at Alduin with an axe.
"No! Don't!" Janice yelled as she snatched up the crying dragoness before Ragnos could kill her.
"Is this man causing trouble, Your Majesty?" One of the guards asked.
"No, its fine, I got this." Janice answered.
"I don't understand, Great One! Why would you protect something that was born evil in nature and is pretty much the symbol of evil?" Ragnos asked.
"Alduin is my counterpart, everything needs a balance to survive. Like how good balance out the forces of evil. Besides, she is my sister too." Janice explained.
Upon hearing this, Alduin immediately begin shedding tears again, though not tears of sadness, but tears of joy as she hugged Janice around her waist, her head rubbing Janice's chest in a loving manner.
"I see.. Oh forgive me Great One!" Ragnos exclaimed, immediately kneeling and begging for mercy.
"It is alright, tell you what, I will test the cult's mettle when the need arises and see whether the cult is worthy of endorsement." Janice told the man.
"Oh, thank you!" Ragnos said as he scrambled to get closer.
"You are dismissed," Janice announced before the guards dragged him out.
"Yes, Your Majesty!" Ragnos bowed again before leaving.
"How did you deal with these crazy people?" Janice asked Alduin when Ragnos exited.
"I just give them powerful artifacts to subjugate those who dare oppose my rule." Alduin said as she looked up.
"That wouldn't work. I think I just have to do this my way." Janice said as she stroke Alduin's head, taking a seat on her throne while she was at it.
"Let's see here, an article about me, another one about me, and another, and another…" Janice said as she flipped through the rather thick newspaper. "Ah! Here is an advertisement… Wait, it is just somebody selling a figurine of me."
"Is everything in this newspaper about you today?" Alduin said, rather annoyed.
"The last page, evidently the thousandth page! Huh, never thought they can write a thousand (Note 5) pages of someone's achievements in such short notice. Let's see, me-me-me-me-me-me-me- No! It seems that they have a small paragraph for you." Janice said, pointing at the tiny small print at the bottom edge of the page.
"What does it say? 'In other news, the Empress's pet dragon, Alice, turns out to be Alduin. That is all.'" Alduin read aloud, squinting at the small letters.
"What?! That is it?! I deserve more attention!" Alduin roared.
"I know, they should totally write about how you were easily killed on top of the Throat of the World in your perspective." Janice commented with pride and sarcasm as she set the paper down.
"I hate you so much." Alduin said angrily as she hopped off Janice's lap.
"That makes one of us." Janice said as she eyed the black dragoness taking off to who knows where.
[Lunch]
"You never told me you were a thief too!" Derkeethus exclaimed. "That might be the reason why Vex seemed to know you personally when she came into our chambers!"
"Not so loud," Janice told the lizard.
"My answers?" Derkeethus asked.
"I didn't want to tell you because if you knew, you wouldn't want to be around me anymore." Janice explained as silent as possible as they wait for the their meal.
"I see. Well, glad I stuck around till we married, I would never have known what a dwemer sphere look like until I left the home." Derkeethus answered.
"So, Derkeethus, how is it like living with someone who can level a province if she wanted to?" Jane asked.
"I can't do anything without her helping me." Derkeethus confessed.
"Alright then," Jane answered.
[Morndas, 1 p.m.. After lunch. Outside the Imperial Palace]
"You all know the rules!" The steward announced. "I don't want to see any cheating in this competition, you understand?! Good."
"You may start the competition, Your Majesty." The steward politely invited Janice to take centre stage.
"Let the cook-off begin!" Janice shouted to the one hundred participants.
"This is going to get boring," Janice mumbled as she sat back down on a makeshift throne, Alduin joining her on her lap.
"Hey, that guy is doing some weird moves." Alduin pointed out to a Breton at the front row.
"Yeah, looks like we got a street performer here." Janice said as she stood up to go talk to the Breton.
"What is your name?" Janice asked the male Breton.
"I am Jacques Leroy, Your Majesty." The Breton answered.
"Quite a nice show you are putting up Jacques, are you trying to win by showing off your moves?" Janice asked.
"Oh no, that won't simply be enough, good food must be served, regardless of how it is prepared." Jacques said as he caught his pepper grinder and three steak knifes after giving them a good toss and a number of gravity defying flips.
"Good." Janice praised as she went to look for Jack, the Bosmer cook that had wowed her taste buds with a magnificent venison stew when she had stopped in Derkeethus' parents' huge mansion.
"Hello Jack, remember me?" Janice asked the Wood Elf at the other end of the front row.
"Definitely, Your Majesty! You like my venison stew so much that your steward personally sent me a gold-trimmed invitation. I shall do the best that I can today!" Jack saluated.
"Good." Janice said as she went back to the stage and sat on her throne.
Meanwhile, inside the Imperial Palace Throne Room.
"Why have you come here?" Derkeethus asked his parents. "They probably would want you to stay here like they did with Janice's parents."
"Oh, don't worry, I have already told Cocceius that we are needed in Skyrim. He wouldn't want us to stop doing our jobs now, would he?" Ushaei replied.
"So, is there anything you would like to discuss?" Derkeethus asked.
"Nothing really, it is just a good time for a family reunion again!" Beeht announced.
"I have just left home for about a week, do you really miss me that much?" Derkeethus asked.
"After the recent events, we were starting to get worried, especially when your mother saw that Janice possesses this much power and was on the verge of ill-treating you sometimes." Ushaei said.
"Great, now I have a mothher that is as creepy as Janice's." Derkeethus mumbled softly.
"Oh, it isn't too bad, me and Jane worked together to ensure your safety from behind the scenes." Beeht said. "She handles the magic and I handle the other things as well as making sure there was no one around to spot us."
My mother and mother-in-law forming a tag team to watch over us? Is any of our personal secrets private anymore? Derkeethus thought.
"Haha, we do know all your dirty little secrets, but they will be safe, with us." Beeht said, not hiding the fact that she could read minds (Note 6).
"Even our thoughts aren't safe…" Derkeethus cried in defeat.
"Don't be sad, I will always be here for you." Beeht said as she hugged her son.
"What do you… mean?" Derkeethus asked before he felt long fangs scraping across his neck gingerly.
"What?!" Derkeethus jumped in shock at the realization. "How are you a vampire?"
"Remember that poor 'old' argonian woman you bit down on when you thought no one was looking when you around to inspect building projects?" Beeht asked.
"You don't mean…" Derkeethus started.
"Yes, that was me you dimwit. I should thank you though. Your untrained fangs have allowed some of the vampire blood to mix with my own, turning me. Now I can look after my baby forever." Beeht said as she rubbed Derkeethus' scaly head.
"And you given this gift to Jane?" Derkeethus asked as he spots Ushaei exiting the palace, obviously disinterested in whatever was going on.
"Naturally, she helped me control it. Pity that she have to give up being a werewolf though." Beeht told Derkeethus.
"Speaking of the devil… Jane! how are you?" Beeht greeted Jane as she entered the Throne Room.
"Fine, thank you. Derkeethus! You really need to learn how to control who you inject vampire blood into. Didn't my daughter taught you that?" Jane scolded the green lizard.
"Must have slipped my mind." Derkeethus said defensively.
"So, what do we do now?" Derkeethus asked after a few minutes of silence.
"We wait for her insanely powerful daughter to finish judging the contest." Beeht told Derkeethus.
"Right, what about father?" Derkeethus asked.
"He is on his way back. Something tells me he is confident that Jack is going to win." Beeht answered.
[Outside the Imperial Palace, 7:05 p.m.]
"Too salty, too hot, too cold, too much spice, too sweet, too soggy, too dry, rotten ingredients, the ingredients is too old , undercooked, overcooked, that doesn't even look like stew, you cooked the wrong things, this is just some meat in water!" Janice said repeatedly as she goes from counter to counter to sample the dishes.
"Were you trying to kill me? Why did you put so many Deathbell flowers, Nightshade flowers and Nirnroots in this? Oh, wow, you even put some Jarrin' Root, how charming." Janice asked an Altmer. "Arrest him for attempted assassination." Janice ordered the two guards that was accompanying her throughout the inspection and trial.
"There is only three left." Janice said as she checked her list.
"First, Jacques!" Janice announced as she went over to the Breton's counter.
"Enjoy, Your Majesty." Jacques said as he pulled off the silver cover covering the stew and steak whilst bowing fancily.
"Perfect temperature, not too salty, not weirdly sweet, a little sour, but generally it is fine." Janice said as she proceeded to another counter.
"Second last, Balagog gro-Nolob Jr.. Huh, I didn't know he had a son." Janice whispered the last part softly.
"Pleasure to meet you, Your Majesty." The Orc said as he presented his samples.
"Let's see if you can match your father in skill." Janice said as she started eating.
"Good temperature, good salt control, a touch of sourness, slightly tender meat. Good." Janice said.
"And lastly, my personal favourite, Jack!" Janice announced happily.
"Enjoy, Your Majesty," Jack said as he uncovered his creation with a slight bow.
"Perfect temperature, taste great, ingredients are fresh, meat is as tender as it should be and just the right amount of spices. Perfect!" Janice squealed inwardly.
"And now to present the prizes, third place is Jacques!" The steward announced as the Breton went on stage.
"Second place is Balagog gro-Nolob Jr.!" The steward announced as the orc went on stage.
"Lastly, first place goes to… Jack!" The steward announced happily as the stunned Wood Elf walked up to the stage.
"A fluke, loser." The other two said together as Jack took the podium.
"Third place shall receive a rent free deed to an empty building in the Market District to start a restaurant as well as a hundred thousand gold and a ribbon signed by Her Majesty herself." The steward said as Janice presented the prizes.
"Second place shall be awarded the same ribbon and five hundred thousand gold as well as an offer to cook for the Imperial Palace!" The steward announced.
"I accept!" The orc said triumphantly.
"The first place winner shall take home a ribbon, two million gold and has the option to cook exclusively for the Royal Family!" The steward exclaimed happily, for this was the only time where he can truly feel happy.
"I would be a fool not to accept!" Jack announced as he was given a ribbon and two cartloads of gold coins.
[Emperor and Empress chambers, 9 p.m.]
"So, how was your day?" Alduin asked the bored looking Argonian seated at the table.
"I just found out that my mother and Janice's mother are working together to spy on us." Derkeethus said.
"What?! Your mother is doing that?" A rather plump looking white dragon sounded from the bed.
"Did you have to finish all the samples from the top twenty-five?" Alduin asked again in mild annoyance.
"How am I going to sleep tonight?" Derkeethus sighed again, seeing that there is no room for him on the huge bed, all available space having been taken up by Janice's large body.
"You know that I can never pass up a good meal." Janice replied.
"And now you are fat." Alduin rebutted. "How are you going to fight?"
"I am just making this look bigger than it really seems." Janice said as she shrunk down, her skinny frame reappearing. "Fooled you guys!"
"What?!" Alduin, Derkeethus and two disembodied voices sounded.
"Who's there?" Janice called out, immediately getting upright from her previous position of lying flat on her back.
"Relax, it is just us." Jane and Beeht said as they came out of hiding.
"Oh, okay then… Wait, there is something off with both of your eyes…" Janice said, squinting at both of their eyes. "How did you two become vampires?"
"My son gave it to me accidentally and I give it to Jane out of courteousness." Beeht explained.
"Derkeethus! I taught you how to control who gets infected, why did you do this?" Janice screamed.
"It was an accident! At least the only people affected are my mother and yours." Derkeethus tried to dodge the bullet.
"Fine, just don't do it again." Janice said as she eyed the two sneaky women return to hiding.
"Yes, sure." Derkeethus replied.
Just then, a knock was heard on the door. "Who is it?" Janice called out.
"There is some grave news coming from Skyrim, Your Majesty! May I come in?" Cocceius' voice sounded from behind the door.
A/N: Alright, that is it, I hope you have enjoyed the story thus far, please remember to favourite and follow if you like the story and review if you think it is necessary to scold/praise me.
1. Dialga. Pokémon reference, again.
2. Arceus and Xerneas.
3. Grimer/Muk (suck it genwunner) and Klefki.
4. According to Bethesda logic, all gods that appears human must resemble the Imperial race. Why couldn't it be Nord or Redguard for a change? WHY?
5. I know that no such newspaper has this many pages, but then again, wouldn't you write more than a thousand pages on someone's auto-biography? As for putting it in newspaper form, I like to think that the publishers in Tamriel didn't think this through.
6. Shadowscales were powerful assassins, shouldn't they be able to have some supernatural powers?