*Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much.
Natalie: WEDDING DAY.
It is a beautiful day in Connecticut. The sun is shining, the sky is blue and it's not too hot but not too cold. It's beautiful but hectic. I spent hours getting my nails done, getting my hair done and getting my make-up done. I have butterflies in my stomach and I am so nervous. I am nervous as I dress Angelina. She looks absolutely beautiful when I finish. Her white spaghetti strap dress falls to her feet and her brown hair is curled as it falls onto her shoulders. I can't help but notice how much she looks like John. I think she looks more and more like him every day. "You look so beautiful," I say as I hand her a white pillow with pink flower petals scattered on it. She is serving as our ring bearer and our flower girl.
"Thank-you, Mommy," she says with a smile. "You look beautiful too."
"Thank-you," I say as I look at myself in the mirror wearing my white halter dress that falls just below my knees. My baby bump is very visible in this outfit and my hair is perfect pulled up into a ponytail with curls hanging down. I do look pretty almost too pretty for Max. I take a deep breath as I pick up my bouquet of pink flowers and say, "are you ready, Princess?"
"For you to marry Max?" she asks me.
"Yes," I say.
"Not really," she says. "Why are you marrying him, Mommy?"
"Because I love him," I say but answer does not have confidence. I know it is not a sincere response.
"You love him?" she asks.
"Yes," I say.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure, Angelina. I'm not playing this game right now. We need to be down on the beach in 10 minutes. It's not time for games."
"I'm not playing a game," she says. "I just want to make sure you're sure you want to do this."
"I am sure, Angelina."
"Even though daddy loves you?" She asks me.
My heart stops as she says this to me. I know John loves me and I know I love him but he made his choice and I made mine. There is no going back now. I can't. I can't set myself up to be heartbroken again. It broke my heart thinking we were going to get back together and then when he said he needed to be with Ashley it was like he ripped my heart out. I can't set myself up for that. If I marry someone that I really don't love then I don't have to worry about having my heart ripped out. I am scared of losing John which is what is keeping me from being with him again. I lost him twice.. I can't lose him again. "Angelina, your daddy and me are never going to be together. It just isn't going to hap.." I start to say before she interrupts me.
"Do you love him?" she asks.
"Angelina, I…"
"Do you love him?" she asks as her blue eyes burn with fire.
"I…"
"DO YOU LOVE HIM?" she asks loudly, impatiently and slowly to put emphasis on the question.
It makes me want to cry as I feel the tears burning in my eyes. I can not cry. I won't allow myself to cry; not now and not here. "I do love him," I say. That was the sincerity I had been lacking when I said I love Max.
"Then marry him, Mommy. You can still marry him."
"No, Angelina, I can't," I say. "It's time to go," I say.
She goes reluctantly but she goes. I think her intention was to get inside my head. If that was her intention she succeeded. She is definitely in my head and has me second guessing my decision as we walk through the lobby and during the entire limo ride to the beach I am second guessing myself. We arrive at the beach and are taken to the location of the wedding. Our wedding party is small. It is just myself, Angelina and Max. We are standing in our places as I see Max standing at the front with the minister as the waves crash down behind them. Our small group of family and friends are sitting on each side waiting for this celebration to begin. As I stand waiting for music to play I can see John sitting in the second row on my left side. He doesn't look happy but he looks good in his tuxedo way over dressed for a beach wedding. And I'm pretty sure there is some type of rule that says a guest can't be better dressed than the groom. Max isn't even dressed as nice as John as he is wearing an off white button down short sleeved shirt and a pair of khaki pants. I expected my groom to be dressed better. I expected a better wedding than this. I take a deep breath as the music starts to play. "Go ahead," I tell Angelina as my dad places the rings on her pillow carefully.
"Thank-you," she says to him before she starts walking.
I watch her walk in her bare feet. She is going extra slow; slower than she rehearsed last night. I'm watching the pillow as she walks. It tips from one side to the other but never enough that the rings fall off. "What is she doing?" I ask my dad.
"I'm not sure, Nat," he says, "but I think that sea turtle passed her."
"Funny, Dad," I say as I continue to watch her walk. She starts to pick up her speed not fast but fast enough that in the next couple minutes she trips and falls into the sand. The pillow falls to the ground and the guests let out gasps as they look at her on the ground. "Oh my gosh!" I say as I hurry to her aide as she's crying. "It's okay, Baby," I say.
"No, Mommy," she says crying. "I lost the rings. They fell off the pillow see?" she asks as she shows me the empty pillow. They can be anywhere in the sand.
"It's okay, Angelina. We will find them," I say as I start to dig in the sand with her. John comes over and joins us.
"What happened?" he asks.
"I dropped the rings, Daddy. Now Mommy and Max can't get married."
"We'll find them," says John with a small smile before helping us look for them.
"You don't have to help," I whisper.
"I know but I want to," he says with that heart melting smile.
We search for at least 10 minutes not finding any rings before Max walks over impatiently. "What is going on?" he asks in a whisper but harshly.
"We can't find the rings," I say.
"What?" he asks.
"We can't find the rings," I say.
"They fell when I fell," says Angelina.
"You little…"
"Little what?" I ask standing up.
"Princess," he says with a smile. "Do not worry, Angelina. I'm sure someone will lend me their rings for the ceremony." I catch Angelina and John look at each other and give a wink. They are definitely up to something. "Does anyone have rings that we can borrow?" asks Max.
His mother stands up right away and says, "I do, Honey. Here you go," she says taking off her rings as her husband follows suit. She walks over and hands them to Max.
"Thanks, Mother," he says. "See? No problem," he says giving Angelina and John a smile. He is on to them too. "Let's continue shall we," he says taking my hand and walks me to the front with him. Angelina follows behind quickly.
The minister performs the ceremony. I can hear him speaking but his words are jumbled in my mind. I keep looking at John the entire time. I am snapped out of my thoughts when the minister says, "if there is anyone here that believes these two should not be joined together speak now or forever hold your peace."
It is silent for a moment before Angelina throws down her pillow and says, "I believe they shouldn't be married."
"Angelina," says Max with a fake laugh. "She's kidding."
"No I'm not," she says.
"Yes you are," he says. "Ignore her. Anyone else?" He doesn't give time for a response before he says, "you can continue. Everyone else believes we should be joined together."
"Okay," says the minister, "Then by the…"
"WAIT!" says my brother Jay as he stands up just before John stands up. "She can't do this. She can't marry him. I won't allow it."
"Jay, sit down," says my mother.
"No, Mom," he says. "They can't get married."
"And why can't they?" she asks.
"Because," says my brother, "he is not who everyone thinks he is. He's a woman beater. He has beaten Natalie up so many times. He abuses her. They can't be married. I won't let them."
"Is this serious?" asks Max rolling his eyes. "Can someone please stop this?"
"What's the matter, Max?" asks John as he walks up to the front with us. "Don't want to be exposed for what you truly are?"
"They are all lies. I have never touched Natalie a day in my life," he says.
I am frozen not knowing what to do or say. I just watch it unfold in front of me. "You beat up my daughter?" asks my father. "How dare you put your hands on her. Maybe I need to teach you a lesson," he says.
"Dad, please," I say.
"No. I don't beat her up," says Max. "He's working for this clown," he says pointing to John. "John put him up to it. Don't believe them," he says as the guests look wide eyed at us.
"You know, Max. I thought you would say something like that. That's why I have proof," says John.
"Right," he says with a laugh. "You have proof."
"Angelina," he says. "Pillow please."
"Here you go, Daddy," she says handing him the pillow.
John flips the pillow over and unzips it. He pulls out the rings and says, "I don't think we need these do we?"
"John," I say looking at him.
"Can someone get this guy please?" asks Max.
"What's the matter, Max?" asks John as he pulls out folded paper. "Afraid of the truth?"
"No I'm sick of your obsession with Natalie that you're trying to expose me for something I'm not," he says. I just don't know what to say. I am upset and I am happy at the same time.
"Really? So the fact Natalie was fired because you beat her up and slept with her co-worker from work but tried to cover it up with some bullshit excuse is a lie? Sorry, Sir," he says to the minister.
"Really someone get this guy," says Max.
I am afraid to go against Max because I feel the heat rising. He is about to lose his cool. I can't tell the truth without harming myself or the baby. "Just one second," says John. "This is Natalie the day after Max beat her up over her friendship with me." He holds up the picture of my bruised face and then one of my bruised ribs. I turn away because I know Max is still capable of hurting me that way. The guests gasp as they look at the pictures shown to them. "So I'm a liar right?" asks John.
"I didn't do that," he says.
"Yes, Max, you did. And here's some more truth for you," says John. "That baby Natalie is pregnant with isn't yours; it's mine." My heart stops how does he know that. How does he know the truth?
"Natalie, you lying bitch," says Max before he goes to hit me. Before his hand can touch me John grabs his fist.
"Not today, Max," he says before punching Max in the stomach. John just couldn't stop there. He jumped on Max knocking him down and throwing punches.
"JOHN!" I say. "Stop. Please stop," I beg with him. John stops and gets up from his fight. He looks at me and I don't know if I should be happy or angry with him. "John," I say.
"Natalie," he says.
"How did you know?" I ask.
"Because I know. I figured out the math and Angelina told me. Jay told me. I wish you would have told me. Why did you lie to me?"
"Because I thought I lost you to Ashley. You told me you were with her because you two were having a baby. I didn't want to ruin that. I couldn't ruin it. I thought I lost you, John," I say. "I lost you again. I lost you once, then I lost you again and then when you came back I couldn't risk losing you again. I love you, John. I have always loved you. I know I haven't done the right thing enough times but I love you. I will always love you and I don't want to lose you. I can't risk losing you, John," I say as he puts his finger to my lips.
"Natalie," he says. "You're not going to lose me. I'm here. I'm always going to be here. I love you, Natalie. I have always loved you. I will always love you. Natalie you and me have forever and always. I am not going anywhere. I love you, Nat," he says before he kisses my lips softly.
*A/N: So what did you think? Please review and thank-you for reading.