A/N: Thanks for reviewing!

'Cause in the end, the road is long, but only 'cause it makes you strong

Anna helped Natasha get a nice black cocktail dress, with black fishnet stockings and matching fishnet gloves. It was reminiscent of what Natasha had worn to Alexei's funeral. They hadn't been able to find a pillbox hat and veil to complete the look, but Natasha wasn't sure that she was willing to go that far anyway. Her hair had been shorter then, and she considered getting hers cut, but decided against it. Though it had been a closed casket funeral, there was no doubt in her mind that Alexei had seen her mourning him. And this outfit would stir his memory and hopefully get him talking.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Anna asked as they were parked outside the restaurant.

"Yes."

"Natalia…"

She turned to look at her friend. "I can handle it," she said resolutely.

"But you don't have to. Not alone."

Natasha sighed, then took Anna's hand. "He will talk to me. More than he would if I had company. Just wait in the hotel for Yelena and we'll figure this out together later tonight."

"Alright. Well, be careful. He might not be the man you remember," Anna warned.

"I am well-aware of that," Natasha promised, wondering if she could convince her traitorous heart.

Anna gave her a grave nod, and Natasha got out of the car. The restaurant was one to which she'd been a few times, though only to follow a mark. Not often enough to recognize any of the staff, or know the routines of the place. She would have to be on her guard for a trap. The fact was that Alexei – Ulyanov was their best lead on what had happened to the other Widows, and his connection could hardly be written off as coincidental.

Knowing his true identity did give some excuse for the previously shady parts of his history. His accident had been exaggerated and he'd been set up as a wealthy businessman with a new name afterward, it appeared. Why he hadn't sought her out was a mystery, and she considered how much part he had taken in making Alexei Shostakov disappear. There weren't enough pieces for her to make a reasonable jump to explain that step and his current affiliations, hence her agreeing to dinner.

It definitely was not because she couldn't resist seeing him again. Certainly not a weakness on her part. James had proven himself a better partner than Alexei had ever been, and Natasha would never go into a situation solely to satisfy her morbid curiosity. It was just convenient that she had another excuse for coming here. The decision not to bring Anna was a risk, but she wanted to talk to Alexei unhindered by the presence of anyone else. She hoped he felt the same way as she looked around the busy place.

"Reservation?" the maître d' asked, bringing her attention to the present.

Uncharacteristically, she fumbled for the right words. "Sho – Ulyanov. Vassily Ulyanov," she corrected herself.

The man looked slightly annoyed at her indecision until he found the name on the list. Then he became very polite. "Ah, yes, forgive me, miss. This way, please," he said, and led her through the establishment himself.

Her heart pounded as they approached a semi-private room in the back, where Alexei was waiting. He smiled at her shyly, getting to his feet and holding her chair. The maître d' draped her napkin in her lap and bowed himself out.

"You look beautiful," Alexei said sincerely.

"Thank you," she replied demurely.

An awkward silence followed, with her staring at the table and him unable to keep his eyes off of her. "The duck here is really good," he offered at last.

"I was never fond of duck." The response came unbidden and she glanced up apologetically.

He laughed a little. "I remember that, Natalia."

"Do you?" she pressed, confrontational.

If he was taken aback, he didn't show it, just looked a little sad. "Yes. I remember all of our time together."

"I see," she answered coldly.

"Would it make any difference to know how sorry I am?"

"For what?"

That surprised him. "Leaving you."

His voice broke a little and she relaxed slightly. "Then why did you?"

He looked at her earnestly while she stared him down. "I had orders," he finally said.

"Orders?" she echoed, hearing the edge of rage in her voice but powerless to suppress it.

"Yes, Natalia. Not all of us are willing to abandon everything we've worked for, destroying the faith everyone has in us, so easily."

The anger in his tone made her sit back calmly. "You think it was easy?" she asked coolly.

His hand unclenched but his expression didn't soften. "No, but you left. You went off on your own and they wouldn't have wanted you back."

Bristling, she tightened her grip on her skirt to keep from reaching across the table for him; what she would do if she got him she didn't trust herself to attempt. "And why, may I ask, did they want me to begin with?"

Realizing he'd said too much, he turned his gaze toward the table and held very still. The waiter came with champagne, and they were distantly civil to him until he left.

"I thought it was you who wanted me," she whispered cruelly and his face fell.

"Natalia, of course I did! I've always loved you," he proclaimed. "But my superiors… they wouldn't have allowed me to marry just anyone, no matter how I felt about her."

She took a drink of the champagne, closing her eyes. "Why me, then?" she asked levelly.

He bit his lip, considering what to say. "You were a valuable asset of department and they thought that… They hoped to have some more," he explained haltingly, gesturing toward her oddly.

"What does that –" she fell silent, realizing hitting her. "They wanted to breed us," she said flatly.

Alexei was watching her, so concerned, so earnest, that it almost hurt to look back at him. "Yes."

"So, when I lost the baby, I was no longer deemed worthy of you," she continued in the same calm tone.

"No!" he protested, clearly anguished.

"Then what?" she snapped.

Pausing to collect his thoughts, he looked around the room in agitation. "They were testing some things on me. Different from the ones they'd tested on you. They were… pleased when I recovered from the crash, and found another use for me."

She raised an eyebrow.

"I've been one of their agents for years, Natalia. When I was sent out, I looked for you. But then you went over to the other side with – with that archer," he added bitterly. "And I knew you were lost to me."

That hardly felt accurate; their two countries were not enemies these days and, while agents from different countries were far from encouraged to fraternize, he could have sought her out. If she'd known he was alive, how would she have reacted? Would she have left her life to be with him? Would he have done the same? The possibilities were too painful to consider, so she brought her attention back to this reality. What was done was done, and they couldn't change it now.

"Why did you found Gynacon?" she asked, taking another drink of champagne.

He seemed surprised by the question, then looked evasive. Alarm bells began to ring when he looked appraisingly at her glass and she realized he'd drained none of his own. "I just wanted us to be together, Natalia. I've fixed things, so we can have the life we always wanted. I had to make a deal, but we won't have any competition in being the most valuable agents our country has," he told her as her vision blurred.

"Alexei," she managed to stutter in protest, getting to her feet. The room swam and she was aware of him catching her before everything went black.