Disclaimer: If i owned CN then would teen titans go really still be on TV, No. I OWN NOTHING. All Belongs To Cartoon Network
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Johnny Bravo didn't like how all the hot babes had left the beach because of this dumb invasion. It was practically killing Bravo on the inside to see the beaches so bare, well except for all of fuses monsters. What was worse was that his beach was now inhabited by things that made Bravo look kinda insignificant: a giant sandcastle held together by fusion matter, an Ice Palace, and a Temple shaped like a giant multi-armed woman. Even Worse was that Dexter kid was now giving orders to Johnny Bravo. When Johnny said to Dex he wanted to help get rid of fuse, he didn't expect to actually be called upon, he just said that in hopes of some hot women would notice his Brave call to duty. but so far nothing, no hot babes. Dexter had recently given Johnny an order to go to the temple of the "Crystal Gems" and receive a progress report.
Normally Johnny would just trick Finn, That weird kid who hung around Johnny's spot near the Ice palace, into doing this mission for him, but he heard 3 hot women lived in the temple, and how could he say no, HOO HAH HEE, Johnny struck several poses as he thought how these Crystal Babes could resist someone as pretty and strong as him, Johnny Bravo. He walked around the Fuse monsters, making sure to stay out of sight. For someone as heavily muscled as Johnny he could really be nimble and quite stealthy. He had made it to the Crystal Temple, Dexbots and DexLab Sentry Guns were set up outside. The women in there must be pretty important, which meant they could have a chance trying to stay off of Johnny.
However when Johnny stepped inside, he wasn't greeted to Hot Beach Crystal Babes. Instead all that was there was a young boy and a pink lion. He had been tricked, Dex had finally gotten Johnny to do something aside from sitting around and handing an extra pair of sunglasses for his nano. Johnny sighed and decided, he was here might as well do what he came to do.
"Hey there" Johnny said in his classic way "I was sent by Dex to check up on you kid"
"Oh, Nice to meet you, I'm Steven" Steven said "And this is my pet lion" He said pointing to the lion.
"I'm HOO HAH HEE, Johnny Bravo" Johnny said striking several poses until he realized there were no babes, again, and stopped.
"Wow you must be really strong" Steven said
"I am REAL strong" Johnny said
Johnny swore he saw stars form in steven's eyes. Man, the lack of women must be messing with johnny's brain. He decided to look around, telling the kid that it was an inspection to fuse wasn't inside or anything. He turned around and saw a huge painting of a beautiful woman.
"Woah mama, who is that" Johnny said in awe, the woman had a beauty that could almost match his own, almost.
"That's my mom" Steven answered
"Is she single" Johnny asked absentmindedly
"No, she gave up he physical form to have me" Steven said a bit sadly
Johnny had no idea what this meant, until he realized, This woman is dead, and probably had a husband, Johnny had a rule against dating the Dead, undead, or mythical (Hot elves not included) after the talking deer, werewolf, witch, and skeleton girl, he had enough about that stuff.
"So where is the report I need to give to Dexter" Johnny asked
Steven handed Johnny a couple of papers in a folder. but Johnny had some questions for the child.
"Hey I've lived in this beach my whole life, This temple has not been here until this whole crazy war" Johnny said "So what gives?"
Steven then goes on to tell Johnny about the destruction of Beach City, a nearby City to Orchid Bay and Bravo Beach, how Garnet had activated the emergency temple teleportation protocol, which was only used for emergencies because there was no return switch, but it kept the temple out of fuses hands. The temple was recently coated in imaginary energy to provide extra protection. Johnny actually felt really bad for steven, Johnny could never live without Mama or Bravo Beach, and this kid never had his Mama and his home was destroyed.
Johnny didn't know why but he started telling his hardships, that his dad had walked out on his Mama and him. How all of the women he was "Friends with" had left from the start of the war, how he was constantly scared for Mama's life during the war. He found a sorta friendship with Steven.
"So is there is any girl out there you like?" Johnny asked
Steven had blushed as he told his new friend about connie and how she was safe and sound with her parents in the Pokey Oaks North, and how she sometimes comes to visit as a new warp pad had been made near her new house. so he could teleport there and hang out with her. After hearing this Johnny decided to give Steven some of his "perfect women getting'" techniques, and well ... even Steven knew that these "Techniques" would never work but Steven listened anyway.
Johnny had moved his post to the crystal temple not only to wait for the hot crystal babes but also to hang with his "apprentice" Steven Universe. Dexter allowed this after receiving the report from Finn after Johnny had handed the report to him. Johnny could do more from the crystal temple and Dexter could tell the crystal gems who were stationed far and wide from steven that he now had a responsible adult looking after him, he'd lie for Johnny just this once. The Crystal Gems needed to focus on the war and less on Steven, he had a sizeable chunk of Dexbots there and sentry guns. Now Johnny was there too, and despite his usual cowardice, he was still a black belt. Steven also had his shield, they would protect each other. Dexter turned back to Computress and got back to work.
Johnny loved his new post in the Universe house, He had a roof, a couch, a TV, Free Food, and someone not annoying to talk to, The only thing that could make it better is those Crystal Babes, Mama, and the end of the war. That Connie girl visited sometimes and the boy's father, he wasn't there the whole time because he was, recommended by Steven himself, to help create an imaginary sound cannon to clear and destroy the Sand Castle Infected Zone. Johnny liked the former rockstar, he reminded Johnny of an older Johnny. Steven liked having Johnny there, he was hilarious, and not too bad at video games and actually started teaching Steven some martial arts, by no means perfect, Steven was getting pretty okay at what Johnny called "Johnny-Fu". They sat there handing out missions to Heroes who came looking for nanos and taros and whatnot until the war was over, whenever that day came.
