Rockin' The Suburbs

Ben Folds

Naboo / OC

What Happens at Four AM When You Watch A Video Montage of Mike Fielding / Angst

Everyone who saw Naboo after he met her thought they were having a nightmare. Naboo the enigma was happy without being stoned and had a daily routine. Naboo was happy, she was happy... and the kids were happy.

"Mike, wake up."

"Fuck off."

Naboo's nostrils flared. "Young man, I won't have you talk to me like that just because I'm your step father."

"That's not why I talk down to you." The boy yawned, rubbing his eyes. "I talk down to you because you're shorter than me."

"Ten minutes." Mike saluted, and Naboo stormed off. "I swear, one day, well, I don't know what I'll do, but I'll do something."

"Sure you will, honey." His wife kissed him, before stuffing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in a paper bag. "Sophie, get you lunch!"

The blonde seven year old ran, and grabbed the bag. "Thanks Mummy." She hugged her mother, and then Naboo. "Love you Mummy, love you 'Boo!"

Naboo finally rounded up the kids, and took them to school.

"Oh God." Naboo took in a deep breath, and slowly inched his hand towards the lock on his car door.

He could feel that something wasn't right. He can feel someone blasting him with hate, and bass, sending dirty vibes his way. And sure enough, some man stopped right beside him was glaring at him like he wanted to murder him.

Thankful the light finally turned, Naboo sped off.

Next, he went to the market to get the groceries, and thankfully, avoiding the glare of murders.

Naboo started to drive off, but he saw the spot he had missed since his wedding: The spot where the security cameras couldn't see, and his dealer hung out. Sighing, Naboo drove away.

He missed his old life, he really did, but he liked his new one, too. Sure he never saw the Board of Shaman, Vince, Howard, and most importantly Bollo, but he was happy.

Sure, he had a routine. Sure, he had kids. Sure, one of those kids was in a really loud garage band that disrupted Naboo from his crossword puzzles, but he was happy.

He was finally upper-middle class! Of course, he lives in the suburbs, and you can't tell your house from your neighbour's, but he was loving it!

He was just all caught up in his white-boy pain.

"Aww, honey." His wife rubbed his shoulders, after giving him his drink. "I'm sorry you've had a bad day at work." She would always slip his tie off, and then kiss his cheek.

"I don't know if I can take another day at the office," he would comment to her, and she would laugh.

"We need the money." She would laugh again, kiss him, and walk out. Naboo would always stare at the hem of her dress when she did.

At the office, things weren't much better. Naboo was a whole other person. One that does his job well, one that loves his job, one that cracks knock-knock jokes at the water cooler.

No one seemed to know what it was like!

The suburbs were hell. He couldn't leave his bins out, he got yelled at if he didn't get his paper, mow his lawn, anything that made his house a little different. Everyone, besides him, loved it. It had everything he needed, but it wasn't there just last year.

Sometimes, he got so mad, he just wanted to say... he was so mad, he wanted to say... he was just so mad, he wanted to shout: "FUCK!"

But of course he wouldn't do that. He had a family now, and he had grown up. He just felt sorry for poor Vince and Howard, bumming the life out of each other, but working in a second hand shop.