2. An Unprecedented Confession

Willow shifted slightly in front of him, and Varhog left his memories in the past. She tentatively touched his mind. May I communicate thus, Yelloweyes? I do not wish to seem discourteous, but I fear I would soon grow hoarse if I tried to shout over the buffeting of Black Thunder's wings.

Varhog responded in turn, Yes, Eartheyes. I too wished to speak but feared the presumption of sharing your thoughts.

She laughed as warmly as she always did, and the wind brought it to his ears the same moment it left her lips. You know I never hide anything from you anyway, my friend. What secrets could my thoughts hold?

I know not, Varhog replied, amused. Willow was right. She always openly shared her thoughts and feelings. He had been more secretive and aloof in recent weeks, and he knew it had pained her. He was going to tell her how he felt today during the first leg of their journey but not quite then. So he changed the subject to give himself time to organize his thoughts. How do you like flying on Black Thunder? Is it what you anticipated?

Indeed! It is wonderful! Willow's enthusiasm was tangible. He is splendid! So vast and powerful compared to Sunset, who seems so strong to me, in her own right. But she is slender and lithe. I suppose we are more suited for one another just as you seem to be with Black Thunder. It reminds me somewhat of when we grapple on the Isle. It's always terrifying and exhilarating at the same time when I find the courage within me to leap on your back. I feel the same mix of emotions now.

You find me terrifying? Varhog wondered.

Of course! Willow insisted. You are! You could crush me in a dozen different ways with the flick of your wrist. But I'm not afraid of you. I know you never would hurt me, though you could. I simply feel the same raw strength and power now that I do then.

Varhog was somewhat appeased by her explanation, gratified that she knew he never would hurt her. It was true, however. Though he shuddered to contemplate it, he could kill her with his bare hands in any number of gruesome ways. He was the tallest Rider save Grintuk, but he was still the most powerful when it came to brute strength. Though not Kull as his father had been, he still stood half a foot taller even than Hanin or Blödhgarm, who were very tall for elves. Willow herself was tall for a human female, but Varhog was head and shoulders above her.

I'm glad you know I wouldn't hurt you, Eartheyes. You are my dearest friend.

Varhog could somehow feel through her thoughts that Willow smiled, though he couldn't see her face. Then she said, Thank you, Varhog. That means a lot to me. I consider you my closest friend as well. If not for that immediate friendship when I arrived on the Isle, I might have become depressed and withdrawn.

Willow spoke in her characteristic sincerity, and Varhog felt her hopeful invitation that he would elaborate on this thought. Now her tone took on a teasing air, which was also very typical of her. And you have taught me that I have the instincts and determination to best an Urgal, no small feat for a skinny human girl. That alone has given me confidence to venture forth into the world. So long as I do not try to flee, I can dodge and duck away from such a foe until he tires and then render him unconscious. Although I don't think I'll ever try my luck against a Kull. I would never be able to reach his back. She laughed again, and it was such an inviting sound that Varhog couldn't help but join her.

His own laugh, in contrast, was a deep-chested boom, and Willow turned her face so her ear pressed against the area of his chest where the sound was loudest before observing, I like hearing you laugh so close to you.

I like having you close enough that you can, Varhog replied. Willow, you mean so much to me that I would willingly stand against an enemy as formidable as Black Thunder himself before I would let harm come to you.

Willow's thoughts were pensive and once again hopeful after his remark, though Varhog clearly sensed that she was still going to leave the matter in his hands. I always knew you, as a friend, would not harm me, Yelloweyes, but a declaration such as that hints at more than friendship. It was the clearest invitation she had yet given him to speak his mind.

Varhog couldn't disguise his mild chagrin, and he chuckled ruefully as he recognized that the moment had finally arrived. He was determined not to pass it up again. I have always appreciated your openness, Eartheyes. You never judged me before getting to know me. I should have known better than to say something like that without you confronting me about it.

Willow laughed warmly and waited patiently, still not judging him, though Varhog was going farther and farther down the path she had been hoping he would follow for some weeks. He wanted to confess his feelings for her and had for years, but until recently he had always been reluctant. And yet even after he had known she was beginning to reciprocate his feelings, his hesitation was in the difficulty presented by their different races. Varhog worried that a relationship between them might endanger Willow.

His pause was longer than necessary and therefore further confirmed that he was attempting to begin the most difficult confession of his life. Varhog sensed that Willow wanted to help him and wasn't about to let him off the hook as she gently invited, Share your feelings, Varhog. You know I still won't judge you, as has always been the case. She turned her face up so she could look at him.

Varhog met her gaze, taking a deep breath and holding it in a moment. Then he let it out slowly. I know, but that doesn't make it any easier. Though you have never treated me thus, I have always felt you must perceive me as monstrous and repulsive like nearly all humans, indeed all races, do. You might always regard me as a friend—though I am so different in many ways—because you are kind and accepting. But I have never thought it possible—at least until a few weeks ago—that you would ever see me as more.

Varhog paused again. He couldn't stop now. He knew Willow had already guessed all of this and was waiting for him to finally put into words the true scope of his feelings. She wouldn't tolerate guesswork but would expect complete honesty, what she herself would reciprocate.

But before he could continue, Willow shared, Though you should know this, I will say it anyway. I have never thought you monstrous or repulsive, Varhog. Yes, at first you were strange and different from what I was used to, but so must I have been to you. Now after all these years of our comfortable friendship, you are as familiar to me as Sunset, though she and I are far less alike than you and I. You are right that up until a few weeks ago I hadn't thought of you as more than a friend. But as soon as I did, it seemed the most natural thing in the world, though you are an Urgal and I am a human. But I have wallowed in confusion as to what your true feelings are and whether you feel the same. I worried that the differences between us might be too much for you to overlook.

No, they're not. I have always loved how honest you are, Eartheyes. I never have to wonder if you're saying what you truly mean or trying to be manipulative.

Willow smiled knowingly. A moment ago you said you appreciated it. Just then you said you loved it. What do you mean?

Varhog shook his head in admiration, a faint smile tugging on his lips. Willow was demanding honesty, as he knew she would. I know you won't be satisfied with anything less than the honest truth, Willow. I meant them both. At first I appreciated your openness and how you wished to learn about me, and everything besides, with such unreserved wonder. But I have come to love it, as I have come to love everything about you. He gazed straight into her expressive, warm brown eyes. I love you, Willow. Then he shook his head. No, that's not strong enough. I adore you, sweet Willow.

Willow abruptly twisted around as much as her leg restraints would allow so that she could look more squarely into his face. She smiled joyfully, her eyes shimmering with tears. Say it out loud, she requested.

Varhog returned her smile. Their faces were inches apart, close enough that she would hear. "I love you, Willow," he said with more intensity than he ever had.

Willow laughed in delight, slipping her arms around his waist as well as she could in her half-turned position and resting her face against his chest. It sounds as beautiful as I always imagined, she admitted. No, even more because I never could get the full power of your voice quite right. Your beautiful, strong, soothing voice. Thank you, Varhog. I'm so glad. Glad? Overjoyed! I love you too, Varhog, and I hoped you would one day feel you could say that to me, if you even felt it at all.

Willow pulled back and stared at him. The loose strand of her hair once again fluttered across his face. Oh, I'm sorry, Varhog! I didn't realize some of my hair had pulled free. She smoothed the stray wisp against her head and tucked it back into her braid.

I didn't mind, Varhog assured her. It's soft and smells sweet. To speak in this manner—with their eyes only inches apart, communicating by thought rather than word—would have been unsettling only moments before since it seemed very intimate to Varhog. But now it seemed only right. He had done it! After over five years of wanting to, Varhog had finally told Willow he loved her, and her reaction had been more perfect than he could have ever hoped.

Willow smiled brightly at his compliment. Thank you, Yelloweyes. With tangible eagerness she then said, I want to do something. I've been wanting to for some time, but it would have been painfully awkward before. You'll see why.

Varhog thought about Grintuk's warning and worried she would kiss him. As close as they were, there was a good chance he wouldn't be able to avoid it, but his worry was unfounded.

Willow began a gentle exploration of his face with her soft hands. Varhog could still sense the tone of her thoughts. Right then she was thinking that every part of his face was so familiar to her, and he saw himself the way she saw him. His head was larger than a human's—in proportion to his larger, more muscular body—yet not as large as a massive Kull's. His skin was thick and rough—though hairless around his cheeks, jaw, and down his neck—and of a slightly grayish hue. His deep-set eyes were the cat-like yellow that had earned him his nickname. His forehead was broader and bony, for it was here that his least human feature originated. His horns grew slightly in front of and above his ears in an impressive, dangerous curl away from his face, around the back of his head, and back forward toward his jaw, where they had just begun to spiral back into the first loop as they continued to grow. His jaw was wide, square, and strong. His mouth was broader and his lips fuller than most humans. Though his teeth weren't visible with his mouth closed, Willow knew they were slightly yellow and sharper, like fangs, particularly the canines. His nose was long and straight. His hair was dark, thick, and fell in rough, wiry waves over his forehead—where it obscured the origin of his horns—and around his ears and neck, which was thick and powerful to bear the extra weight of his horns.

Willow brushed her fingertips over each of his features as her eyes drifted from one to the next. Varhog's tender adoration increased by the second at her undeniable acceptance as she gently examined his face with her fingers.

She had engaged in her silent exploration for so long that Varhog finally asked, What are you thinking, Willow?

A faint smile touched her lips. She looked straight at his eyes and with her defining forthrightness said, I find you handsome, Varhog.

His eyes widened doubtfully, though her expression had communicated as much the entire duration of her inspection. Her smile broadened. You don't believe me? I can see it is so, but you must know I speak truth, as I always do and as this language requires. I will elaborate in case it helps your disbelief. I didn't feel that way when I first met you, but as I already said, I never found you monstrous, only foreign. But you have so proven yourself in the past seven years as the most honest, loyal, and thoughtful friend I could ever hope to have that I now feel differently and have for some weeks. If not for your horns and the different coloring of your skin and eyes, you would so closely resemble a broad-featured human as to pass among them. But the differences don't bother me. They are simply part of you. You wouldn't be Varhog without them.

But my horns, he bitterly thought. Even they don't bother you?

Willow's expression was tender as she raised her hand to touch them. You say that like you wish they were gone. You know I would never expect you to be any different than you are, Varhog. You are an Urgal. They're as much a part of you as my lack thereof is a part of my humanness. If you didn't have horns, you wouldn't be the same ram you are and perhaps not my friend. Her tone became teasing. For then you might be aware of how handsome a human girl would find you and be arrogant and vain. I am sure I never would have wished to be friends if that were the case. She smiled gently. You should be proud of your horns and who you are. They are magnificent and powerful. Indeed, if I were a female Urgal, you would be bragging not apologizing. They are a matter of pride for your race, aren't they?

Yes, he allowed with a small smile.

She smiled radiantly, and Varhog blinked. Willow laughed at him. I'm so relieved you finally told me how you feel, Varhog. For some weeks now you have given me more and more clues, and I have done the same, but I never understood your reluctance in simply telling me. I was beginning to think I must have misunderstood and that you feeling an attraction to me was an unlikely thing.

Varhog had to interrupt. Why would you think that, Eartheyes? he demanded.

Willow shrugged. I've never had a man love me, she said simply. Perhaps I had come to believe one never would. No one has ever told me they thought me beautiful or desirable, so I determined to be as kind and friendly as I could to everyone, knowing a true and loyal friend would always be welcome. And in this particular case, it might be because I know most Urgals view the appearance of humans with just as much disgust as most humans do that of Urgals.

Varhog closed his eyes to hide his anger and indignation. Then he took a deep breath and reopened his eyes to look at her, cupping her cheek in his large hand as he said, The reason no man besides me ever loved you is due only to your unique circumstances. You came to be with the Riders just at the age most men would have begun to notice you. On the Isle there were only two humans, both already in love with another. The elves were too old and Knilf too bitter at first to see what a jewel you are. But since you accepted me so openly, I immediately had the opportunity to see how amazing you are. You were like a ray of warm sunshine in the dark, desolate place that had become the home of the Riders, tainted as it was by my hatred of Knilf and his of me and by the humans' frustrated longing. None of us knew how much we needed you or what we were missing until you were with us. The Riders might have fallen in our infancy if not for you. No other would have been capable of resolving the stubborn loathing Knilf and I insisted on embracing.

Varhog paused and took another slow breath, though he was speaking by thought and not word. He felt an urgency to impress this on her. The others—Hanin and Grintuk and Bodin—all see you for what you are, but they also clearly know my feelings and would never think to approach you for fear of the unpleasant consequences. His grim amusement at that carried into his mental monologue. Tomath is so young that he sees you as a mother, and all the others have allowed their deep caring for you to translate into the brotherhood you have often mentioned.

As for no man thinking you beautiful. . . . Varhog hesitated before carefully continuing, Willow, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever known, though as you said, you were at first different from those of my own race. Everything about you is warm. Your eyes, your skin, your hair, your smile, your laugh. But more than your natural beauty, you have such a warm disposition and are always kind, honest, and considerate. You're always smiling and sweet. Therein is your beauty only enhanced. Many a ram or man has regretted taking a beautiful mate when he learned that her outward appearance did not touch her soul, which was cold or selfish or vain. You are truly unrivaled in both countenance and temperament. If you had stayed among humans, you would have been a highly sought after prize, able to have your choice from any of dozens of suitors.

Varhog finally stopped, and he knew Willow had seen his earnestness throughout the entirety of his long speech. Her eyes brightened and shone with tears at his intensity. She pressed her face against his chest and tightened her arms around him as she said, Thank you, Varhog. Though I have tried to accustom myself to the idea that I would never hear such praise of myself from one who cared for me as more than a friend, I couldn't have prepared for what it feels like to actually experience it. I'm humbled you have such a high opinion of me.

Varhog circled his arms around her body, and they overlapped all the way around to his shoulders. She seemed so frail. He knew it was deceptive, yet it still made him feel fiercely protective. In response to her last comment he said, It is an opinion shared by all almost as soon as they have the chance to meet you. Your modesty is yet another of your most endearing features.

Willow made no move to end their embrace, and Varhog could feel her breathing deeply, as if she was smelling him. She said, You assert that most on the Isle knew of your feelings for me. Was I truly the only one who remained oblivious all those years up until a few weeks ago?

Varhog chuckled. The other Riders knew, all save Firesword and perhaps Tomath. Not because I told them but because they could see it. Firesword was always too swallowed in the pain of his own desperate and unfulfilled longing, though it never interfered with his duties on the Isle—only with his perception of the feelings of others. I believe he has come to notice it since he returned with Arya after their honeymoon. She immediately recognized it, almost as soon as Firesword introduced the two of you. I could see that she suspected I felt more for you than friendship, but she studiously kept her suspicions from affecting her face. You have given me great practice understanding expressions of the eyes. She has frequently regarded me with interest as she observed my admiration and longing for you. I know she wonders what will come of it. As do I.

His final assertion was open-ended, as if he expected a reply. But then Varhog realized he had never asked Willow the question that would allow her to give him the answer he sought. He felt her amusement as she continued waiting patiently, as she had the past several weeks. His gut clenched nervously at the thought of proposing right then.

Willow lifted her head, and Varhog relaxed his hold around her, keeping his hands clasped behind her back. She stared at his eyes once more as she thought, What would such a thing—a union between an Urgal and a human—be like? He could tell she simply sought information since she didn't know the customs of his race well enough to reconcile them with those of her own.

Varhog replied, I am not even sure myself. History has never recorded the union of an Urgal with a human. Why would any from our races ever wish to join, what with the hatred, fear, and misunderstanding that has always been between us? This was the reason I hesitated, Willow. Not because I wasn't attracted to you. He briefly closed his eyes and shook his head at how ludicrous that sounded to him. I have wanted you for so long, Willow, it's almost painful. You are so exquisitely beautiful, and I long for you in the deepest parts of my being. But as I said, I didn't feel that way at first, and any Urgal meeting you for the first time also wouldn't. I worried that allowing our relationship to progress as I so desperately desire would most likely place you in harm's way because of the biases and animosity between our races.

What do you mean? Willow wondered.

I already know that my people—my clan and family—will not look favorably on the idea of me taking a human as a mate. I am eligible to take a mate, but I'm also revered as the first Urgralgra Dragon Rider. The other members of my race will view the idea of our union as an abomination—the most offensive crime I could commit—in the same way that you know humans would see your choice. I fear you would be expected to prove your right to have me, which fills me with indescribable rage, since that is a warped perversion of the truth that I should and always will have to prove my worthiness of you. They will most likely expect you to fight, Willow, which is how we Urgralgra gain footing in our society and prove our worthiness to marry.

I see, she calmly said. Well, we know I'm capable of that so it doesn't fill me with as much dread as it seems to fill you. I wouldn't kill any member of your race, Varhog, so if that was expected of me, we might as well end this right now.

No, those requirements are now a thing of the past for the majority of Urgralgra clans. The rules were revised to allow a subdual to count as a triumph. You can easily do that with your amazing methods.

Yes, so we needn't fear, but tell me more of the ways of your race concerning this matter, Varhog. I have no idea what to expect. Willow shifted stiffly, stretching her neck from side to side.

Are you uncomfortable? Varhog wondered.

Beginning to be, she admitted.

Turn back around and settle against me, Varhog invited. I can communicate with your mind while you are comfortable just as easily as if you were uncomfortable.

Fair enough, she agreed with a laugh, turning to face straight forward and snuggling into Varhog's arms.

In an attempt to describe some of the customs of his race surrounding a ram and female coming together, Varhog said, The females of our race will only consider a ram eligible as a mate when he has defeated at least three foes and proven himself in battle. The decision is based not so much on love, from what I can tell, as on pride and a desire to have a ram who can protect her and their offspring.

Varhog did his best to remain objective through his next explanation. The mating of Urgals is more instinctive than passionate. At least that has always been my perception of it. The rams do consider certain features attractive in their brood-mates, and they usually do feel affection, which undoubtedly deepens. But I admit that I am not extremely familiar with it since I have never personally experienced it except in my feelings for you. Only Yarbog had taken a mate before I left, so I also didn't hear of it from any of my siblings.

But you just told me that you long for me in the deepest parts of your being, Willow pointed out. Is that purely instinctive?

I suppose not, Varhog allowed. I do long for you, Willow. And it feels as if it would lead to something very passionate if allowed to follow its course. But I have never seen Urgals kiss one another, though Grintuk hinted at why that is before we left the Isle. Firesword and Arya often kiss, which leads me to believe that the connection for him, while pure and tender, is much more passionate than I ever knew it to be among the Urgralgra. But I was often alone and didn't mingle with others around my age. I could be completely mistaken, since—with my solitary tendencies—I rarely heard discussions of intimate love.

Varhog felt Willow's curiosity at his statement about Urgals kissing, but she allowed him to continue without interrupting. His final remarks were the first to cause him embarrassment, but he nevertheless persisted, As for the actual joining of the bodies, I believe it is much the same in both races, since our builds are both upright and of the same general arrangement. All I know of this is from memories of the Eldunarí who had Riders. The roughness of an Urgralgra hide—with our bristly hair next to the softness of human skin—might be cause for alarm. Perhaps it could be overcome through magic. I know Firesword used a simple spell to remove his facial hair every morning before growing a beard.

Willow's thoughts conveyed mild amusement at Varhog's discomfiture, but she didn't tease him. How would we act if our relationship took this turn, Varhog? As a human, my instinct would be to flirt and act coyly, though I suppose I tease enough already as it is. I would feel inclined to express affection in ways that may not be customary for Urgals, as you just implied. To hold hands and embrace and give kisses. This is the behavior I observed in other humans before I came here and now from Eragon and Arya. I suppose if my life hadn't been so burdened with sorrow and death, I too might have fancied some boy or other and been giddy and foolish. But as it was, no thought of such frivolity entered my mind.

She continued, On the Isle, the thought of such romantic notions likewise never appeared. Murtagh and Eragon loved other women so devotedly that even I, as inexperienced as I am, could see that it would have been pointless to have feelings for them, if indeed I had ever felt the desire. My other more compatible choices were the elves, and that too would not be. I am but a babe in their eyes, and they are so distant and formal. Knilf, Hanin, Grintuk, and Bodin all seemed like brothers. Then Tomath, as young as he is, seemed in need of a mother, so he became like a strange son-brother. You have been the closest thing to a romantic interest I have had on the Isle—not quite a brother like the other Riders and the dearest friend I have.

You would categorize me as a romantic interest? Varhog incredulously thought. I am far from romantic. I don't even know how to act in such a way. And until a few weeks ago you never seemed interested in me beyond your innocent curiosity and friendship.

Willow turned her face so she could smile over her shoulder at him, one eyebrow arched meaningfully. Her smile came so easily to her, and Varhog felt a sudden desire to touch her lips to see if it would help him understand how the joyful expression graced them so much more often than anyone else he had known. He knew she wouldn't mind, so he raised one hand and gently placed a single rough finger over her smile before dropping it.

Willow grinned more widely as his finger brushed her lips and continued her previous train of thought, But as I said, once I began to think of you in that way, it seemed the most natural thing in the world. Before then you were the closest thing to a romantic interest, if I'd had to identify one. And you may not see it this way, but your simple, honest expressions—like that just now, or telling me you would protect me and have come to love everything about me, and especially your passionate soliloquy about my virtues—all seem romantic to me and would to any other human girl.

You're right, Varhog said in surprise. I never would have thought those things would mean anything more to you than simple expressions of honesty.

Willow then asked, Why did you touch my lips just now?

I was curious, Varhog answered. You smile so often and so easily. You always seem full of joy and happiness. But so few others I've ever met are like that. Their faces seem to betray their constant dissatisfaction and anger at life in general, whether they would admit to feeling that way or not. I wondered what your lips felt like and thought if I had some knowledge of it, I might understand why you appear to be so different.

And what is your conclusion? she mischievously asked.

They're soft and warm like every part of you that I love—your eyes, your hair, and your laugh, Varhog honestly said, suddenly feeling self-conscious that Willow might also find this notion romantic. He shook his head in confusion as his desire to be honest came into conflict with the idea that she found him romantic.

Apparently she did think his words sweet, for she twisted enough to slip her arms around his waist, resting her head against his chest in a comfortable embrace. He felt humor coloring her thoughts. That was romantic, Varhog. More so because you meant only to be honest. I love you, Yelloweyes.

Now you say it out loud, he requested.

Willow lifted her head. "I love you, Varhog," she earnestly declared.

Varhog closed his eyes, lowering his face until his forehead rested against hers. "It does sound beautiful," he said in a voice thick with emotion. "Thank you, Willow. It is indescribable to hear you say that."

They remained in the tender position for a long while. After a time however, she released her hold on his waist and gave him an apologetic smile. Uncomfortable again, she explained, turning in the saddle to face forward. I'm sorry, Varhog. I truly enjoy peacefully sitting in your arms, but my back is aching after such a long time twisted around with my legs still strapped into the saddle. But keep your arms around me, won't you please? They're warm.

If I never stopped touching you for the rest of my life, it still wouldn't be enough, Varhog told her, placing his hands around her waist and using his thumbs to massage the small of her back. Any better?

Mm-hmm. Your hands fit all the way around my waist.

Because you're slender. He wrapped his arms around her to offer their warmth, gently closing his hands around her shoulders. His arms were so thick and muscular that they almost completely shielded the front of her torso. He also rested his chin on the top of her head, finding it more comfortable than sitting rigidly upright.

They rode in amiable silence for a time, but Varhog knew Willow well enough to guess that she was still thinking about their long conversation. And Varhog wagered she was wondering if he would ask her to be his mate right then. He thought back to a few moments before when he had felt her patient amusement at his open-ended statement, and the same nervous feeling assailed him. Was she really ready for him to ask that? Varhog wasn't sure, and he didn't know how to find out without simply asking her.

Varhog, Willow then said, interrupting his uneasy thoughts.

Yes, Willow?

You still haven't asked me the most significant question of this conversation. I can't answer a question I haven't been asked. At least, I won't. But I'm ready.

Varhog felt her humor in her sweet words, and he couldn't help but smile. Apparently he hadn't needed to ask. Willow had simply told him she was ready. Are you really? he verified

Of course! she exclaimed. I'm sure I want to pursue this. I know how happy we'll be. . . .

But? You seem reluctant.

Only because I am so unfamiliar with what to expect. We are the first human and Urgal to ever desire such a thing, let alone dare go through with it. I am sure you agree that it seems intimidating.

It does. But I wouldn't want you to pursue it for my happiness alone. It would bring me greater happiness than anything else I could imagine, of that I am sure. But you could have any man you wish, Willow. More humans will join the Riders. More elves. We have seen that such an interracial union can be fruitful in Firesword's union with Arya. But of an Urgal and a human, I couldn't say. His thoughts were filled with sadness as he selflessly thought of Willow being with another.

But why would I want just any man, should I really so easily have him? Willow demanded. I love you, Varhog. I can't see myself ever finding a better friend than you, and I value the foundation of trust and respect we have established over the last seven years almost more than anything. I am too practical and honest to wish some man to shower me with flowery praise, always attempting to be romantic and gallant. I definitely prefer your honest affection, which seems even more thoughtful and romantic given that you have no intention of it being so. I do want to be more than friends. Of that I am certain. My hesitation is in not knowing how we would do that or in how things would change. Do Urgals marry? If so, would we do so immediately?

You would be my mate immediately, Eartheyes? Varhog asked, hardly daring to believe.

As I implied a moment ago, Yelloweyes, she patiently reminded, you need only ask. You have already proven your loyalty, affection, and desire to protect me. All of those things bespeak your love more than flowery words. What I wonder is, what if I could never give you children? Would that trouble you? We don't know if such a thing is possible.

Already you think ahead to that? His disbelief was growing exponentially by the moment.

Forgive my presumption. Is that not the way with Urgals? I only have human customs to base my knowledge on. Among my race we court and marry and then, as an expression of love, the physical union happens soon thereafter and as often as is mutually desired, in addition to when the couple wishes to produce a child. Although some couples forgo the ceremony and satisfy their passion whenever they wish, which often leads to heartache and unhappiness and is considered shameful. Things must be different with your race. Do you engage in any type of courtship? Is there any type of tradition or ceremony akin to marriage? Do you mate only to reproduce? You must enlighten me.

No. I mean yes. Yes and no. I will explain, Varhog fumbled, not expecting her complete honesty and lack of shame to carry into this topic. There are certain traditions of courtship. A female will consider a ram eligible as a mate only when he has proven himself worthy. When he has done so, he can ask a female if she would consider him as a mate, and she can accept or not. They will likely already be friends or at least have a casual acquaintance. If she accepts, a brief period of courtship follows, similar to what you would call an engagement between humans. This is a time to learn more of each other and further decide if the union is mutually desirable and the pair compatible. Often the couple will fight. The ram wants to see if his potential brood-mate is strong and brave, qualities we consider important in one who will bear and raise our children. It is rare, but if the female ever triumphs, the ram is most proud of his choice in a woman and is often the envy of the other rams. He paused here as he perceived her amusement in his thoughts.

So in a manner of speaking, we have long been courting! Willow surmised with delight. And I, having already bested you on numerous occasions, have proven a most worthy potential brood-mate.

Though she was only teasing, Varhog seriously responded, It's true, Eartheyes. And Grintuk does envy me you. The first time you beat me, I knew I would never see you in the same way again. Though I would be the laughing-stock of Urgralgra rams everywhere for being defeated by a human female, one does not resent the woman who bests him but unavoidably admires her. They would soon feel the same when you beat them too, as I'm sure you could, save perhaps the Kull.

Willow swelled with pride at his praise but modestly demurred, I'm sorry to interrupt. Won't you continue?

Varhog went on, After a period of time, if the couple decides to proceed with their union, there is a simple ceremony performed by the Herndall of the tribe, which involves prayers and chanting and rituals. The couple expresses their mutual commitment and affection and that is all. The ceremony is often followed by a great celebration with feasting and contests of strength and bravery.

The couple will then consummate their union, particularly if they do feel great affection and attraction for one another. Some of our women are considered great beauties by the rams. But as I said, at least as far as I understand it, it is not as passionate for most Urgralgra as for humans. There is a strong instinct to reproduce, and they will also join to satisfy that urge and carry on their family line. Having many children brings honor to a couple.

Varhog then explained an Urgralgra custom engaged in by mated couples. In the winter months, the couple will together weave a hearth rug, which takes many years to complete. During this time, they come to know whether they have chosen their mate well. These are but a few of the traditions of the Urgralgra. Since you are not of my race, were we to join, we wouldn't need to observe them, particularly since we wouldn't be living among them but on the Isle with the Riders.

Willow seemed satisfied by his explanation, but she again persisted in asking, Would you be disappointed if I wasn't able to bear you children? You seemed shocked before when I asked so bluntly.

I only meant. . . . That is to say, I don't know what my feelings would be if we didn't have children. Right now it seems like it wouldn't matter, but perhaps in time it would. When I responded as I did, I only meant to ask whether the thought of joining with me strikes you as repulsive. Does it? I always imagined it would.

She laughed, not at all affronted, and he could sense her exasperation with him. Haven't we been through this, Varhog? I do not find you repulsive. The thought of joining with you as a man and his wife would is also not repulsive to me. I meant it when I said that I find you handsome, horns and all. And your body is even more like a human's than your head. You are powerful and tall and impossibly muscular, features a female Urgal no doubt finds attractive. We female humans are no different. I have had plenty of time to consider it these past few weeks, and Sunset and I have also discussed it extensively. I can honestly say that I am attracted to you in that way. Is that good enough for you?

Varhog could tell she was sincere. Before he had time to reply, Willow added, But it seemed clear from that day in your bedroom that your bristles truly are a force to be reckoned with, so I suppose we would need to take measures to account for that. And considering that you could crush me with the careless squeeze of an arm, I suppose you will just have to be careful.

Aye. I will never hurt you, Willow, Varhog promised yet again.

I believe it. But I must ascertain that you are worthy to seek me as a mate. She was still toying with him. Have you bested three opponents in combat?

Varhog released a deep sound of amusement. I defeated more than a dozen rams in single combat before joining the Riders. You have also witnessed me subdue Firesword, Murtagh, and all of the other Riders in hand-to-hand fighting. You alone, Eartheyes, remain my most unruly opponent, and so it is that I seek you as my mate.

So you can subdue me? Willow impishly asked. You may find yourself sorely dissatisfied if that's the case.

No, not to subdue you, Varhog denied, but so I will always remember the power of a woman and have the strongest one by my side to protect me.

Willow giggled, and his rumbling laugh rippled out of his chest. She asked, So was that it then? The question? It didn't sound quite like it.

Varhog shifted his posture slightly to adapt to the sudden change in mood from teasing to serious. Willow's words made it perfectly clear what her feelings were, and Varhog saw that he needed to ask her directly to be his mate. He quelled the fluttering nervousness in his gut. Willow had assured him that she was ready for him to ask, and everything in her manner indicated that she would accept him.

Varhog still wasn't sure how to phrase his request to be meaningful to both her as a human and him as an Urgal, so he decided to go with both. Knowing that waiting any longer wouldn't help, he bowed his head down over her shoulder, simultaneously turning his face toward her ear so his horn wouldn't graze her head. With his mouth right next to her ear he whispered aloud, "Will you marry me, Willow? Will you be my mate?"

Hearing his deep voice right in her ear after the long silence of mental communication must have startled Willow, for she turned her face sharply toward him and their lips accidentally brushed together. She jerked back as a jolt of electricity burned through their lips. Varhog's stomach tightened with a deep shiver of longing. As Willow absently rubbed her lips, Varhog's head followed after her, as if drawn by a magnet. She looked at his eyes—her own were wide with surprise—and he recognized the same emotion he had felt, one he had never before seen in her.

"Did you feel that?" Willow asked. They were still close enough for him to hear.

"If by 'that' you mean a deep hunger for you, then yes I did," Varhog replied.

"Is that normal? I wanted to ask earlier whether Urgals kiss to express affection. Do they?"

"No, not that I have ever seen. At least not in public. And I think I know why. Grintuk warned me before we left the Isle that a simple kiss between two Urgals who love each other as mates would immediately lead to the full expression of physical love. It actually helped explain a lot of things. I never even saw my sire and dam exchange such a gesture, and I have no doubt they cared for one another deeply." Varhog moved his head another fraction of an inch in her direction. The longing he felt intensified. "So it's probably best if we don't kiss. Yet."

Willow smiled faintly, placing her fingers over his lips and pushing softly against them. "I think that would be wise, Varhog," she agreed, and he was conscious of the energy in his lips as it seemed to vibrate through her fingers. "If an accidental touch could elicit such a reaction, it's not at all difficult to imagine that an intentional one would bring far more. I am willing to wait for the moment of our most private expression of love. Are you?"

Varhog only nodded, moving his head back at her light touch, respectful as always. In her words had been an even more unambiguous assertion of her acceptance, but she still hadn't voiced her confirmation.

As if sensing his thoughts, which she truly might have by the way she studied his eyes, Willow solemnly replied, "And to answer your question before all of that happened, yes, I will marry you. I will be your mate." She smiled radiantly, moving her hand to his jaw and holding it there a moment.

Varhog managed to quietly say, "Thank you, Willow. I never dared hope it would be." He moved one hand from her shoulder to mirror her caress, careful to control the strength of his hand, and returned her joyful smile in like manner.

Willow slipped her arms around him and switched back to mental conversation. Aching back or not, I'm too happy not to hug you right now, Varhog. I feel like I'm about to burst! Wait until the others find out!

Black Thunder touched Varhog's mind. Well done, my son. That went more smoothly than you ever dreamed possible. Did I not anticipate that you had nothing to fear? Willow is extraordinary, and she is also intelligent. She would be a fool to turn down a ram such as you. I know you better than anyone, even your mother, and you know I would not say that lightly. Your victory brings you great satisfaction. She will be a worthy mate.

Varhog gratefully accepted. Then his dragon continued, Fírnen and his Riders would seek momentary rest now that we have reached the mainland. We begin our descent even now.

Varhog realized that he had been so absorbed by his musings and conversation with Willow that the whole first leg of their journey—from the Isle to the mainland—had passed without him being aware. They were flying above the great falls that marked the end of the Edda River, and the dragons began a lazy downward spiral.

Black Thunder once again spoke. Murtagh and Thorn have been most captivated observing you and Willow. They were so curious that I shared with Thorn only what just now passed and that you intend to join with this woman. Forgive me if I acted out of turn. They share your joy.

Varhog conveyed the message to Willow, and they both turned to look at Murtagh some distance away on Thorn. He looked slightly abashed, but they bore him no ill will. Willow smiled and waved, while Varhog only smiled, sympathetically noticing Murtagh's look of envy. Murtagh was the last of the lovesick Riders not to be with the woman he desired.

I wondered how we would break the news, Willow confessed. Now at least two know. We should announce our intentions when we land. It might alter the course of our journey. If it's possible, I would like to travel directly to your clan in the Spine so we can win their blessing and join at once, if you don't object. That will give us some weeks yet, but for the rest of our travels, I see no reason not to be man and wife, or ram and mate, or whatever we shall be. Her tone was light and happy.

If that is what you want, I do not object, Varhog said, finding it hard to believe how drastically things had changed in only just under an hour.

-:-:-:-

A/N: I thought this might be an appropriate place to leave another A/N. I've actually only ever had one reader openly question a romantic relationship between an Urgal and a human, but that very improbability is what made Willow and Varhog so interesting to me. I couldn't believe it when I first realized that Varhog loved Willow! I was shocked because of the many references in Inheritance Cycle to the Urgralgra as monstrous and grotesque, as well as due to the idea that they viewed humans in the same way. Is it impossible for you to imagine a human finding one handsome and desirable, or an Urgal thinking that a human is beautiful? If so, I encourage you to look up Chapter 5 of my new story, Next Generation. In that chapter, Eragon and Murtagh have a discussion wherein I attempt to explain my portrayal of the Urgal race. And I follow it up with an A/N at the end of the chapter to further detail my views. Just FYI. ~Autumn :)