Disclaimer: League of Legends belongs to Riot
We spent the next hour asking each other simple questions about our likes, dislikes, fears and hobbies.
I found out that Cyan was really into everything Japanese. Adept told us that he never understands what she's saying because she likes to blurt out random Japanese sayings. Hurtle of course made a joke about that being the cause of our communication problems – which of course wasn't received well by Cyan (I really need to give him a long talk about his lack of self-control.)
After that, Cyan wasn't really willing to share more about herself. Her answers were one to three word phrases. It was obvious that it was going to be a long time before she truly accepted us – even Hades. Although she was a little nicer to him, it was probably because Adept and Hades were really good friends. It was fairly obvious that the only one she got along with was Adept, hence why Hurtle and I could have sworn that they were dating (we were surprisingly proven wrong).
Then there was Hades.
Hades was really interested in learning languages. He was currently teaching himself Latin, but he already knew how to speak English, German, Korean, Vietnamese and French. He spent most of his life being home-schooled until he moved to Germany. He had actually moved to Germany only a year ago when his parents finally felt like it was time to settle down, but before that, his parents hopped from country to country because Hai really wanted to travel. He also thought it would be a good idea to expose Hades to different cultures. Despite knowing all of these different languages, Hades was still really quiet. He told us it was because he preferred not to say more than he needed to and would rather observe his surroundings.
He confessed that the reason for his behavior stemmed from moving around so much. It was tiring for him to make new friends and then just leave them. Therefore his need to make friends with kids in the neighborhood died down. Plus, he was already identified as different since he was home-schooled.
"The other kids already had friends from previous years, or just friends they knew at school," Hades shrugged. It was always hard to be the new kid. I moved and changed schools near the end of my first year in secondary school.
Then his parents finally promised him that they weren't going to move anymore, and that they were going to enroll him in public school. That was when he decided it was time for him to try. That's when Adept became his first and closest friend. My eyes watered when he told us his story. It was super cool how he was able to travel, but really sad and touching when he told us how his social life was affected by it.
"Oliver showed me what a friendship was really supposed to be like," Hades said, with a small smile on his face. He looked over to Adept, "Thanks." I felt my heart break. I was really happy that Hades was willing to share this with us. Even Cyan looked a little touched. I glanced over at Hurtle. He showed no emotion on his face. I hope there wasn't something wrong.
After Hades finished, it was Hurtle's turn.
He started off by telling everyone that he grew up living and breathing League (Cyan wasn't surprised). His parents were still avid gamers and it was only natural that he grew up to love games as well. I gave him a worried look, which he returned with a smile. I could've sworn there was something wrong. Then he gave everyone a general description of his likes and dislikes. He made an emphasis on his dislike for chick flicks. He gave us a basic run down on his life, then things took a turn.
He said it was now going to be real talk. What he decided to share with the rest of the group really surprised me. He talked about his parents' divorce and how badly it had affected him.
"This happened about two years after Aph moved into the area," Hurtle said. Everyone was looking at him intently, even Cyan wasn't making her remarks.
"My parents were arguing on who was going to keep me," he grimaced. "Not in the way that they didn't want me, mind you," he added to clarify.
"Every day after school, I would go to Aph's place because I didn't want to be home when my parents were talking about what was going to happen," he told them. "Now that I think about it – I was trying to run away from the situation," he said truthfully.
I stared at the floor. I remember that time like it only happened yesterday. His parents divorce, in a way, helped bring us closer… I finally knew what I was going to tell everyone. Maybe what Hurtle said earlier had some truth. This was a safe environment for everyone to let things out.
We were all trying to get to know each other, and to form a trust that we clearly didn't have in game. Hades confessing his struggles as a child definitely sparked something in Hurtle. A small smile formed on my face and I looked up at Hurtle to give him reassurance.
"That's when Aph decided to start playing League with me," he shot me a grateful look. I felt everyone's eyes glance over to me, but I just kept looking toward my best friend. This was his story, not mine.
"She actually promised me that she would make sure that she was the only support I'll ever need," Hurtle grinned and I covered my face with my hands. We were young and he was going through a difficult time!
"That's so cheesy," Adept commented, and I moved my fingers apart so I could see through them.
"Yeah," Hurtle agreed. 'Thanks Hurtle,' I thought. If we weren't sitting in this serious environment, I'd be staring daggers at him for revealing this personal piece of information.
"I knew she wasn't being completely serious though," Hurtle added, "she never wanted to turn professional like me."
"But she forced herself to play a game that she hated in order to help distract me," Hurtle continued.
"I didn't force myself," I spoke up. It was true that I hated the game at the time, but I didn't force myself to play it. I chose to play it.
"She's too nice," Hurtle teased me.
"Too bad you bring out the worse in me," I joked.
"Yeah! You can't imagine how many times I've been threatened—"
"Anyways, go on," I cut him off. He gave me a playful smile.
"I didn't understand why my parents were splitting," Hurtle looked away from me. I already knew the story, he didn't have to tell me it again.
"I became angry all the time," Hurtle admitted, "the only time I was okay was when I was playing League."
"It really helped me… grow up, I guess," Hurtle shrugged at the last part. "My parents did their best to make it seem like things were going to be okay." Uncle Xpecial and Turtle tried their best to resolve their differences, but in the end they knew it would be better for them to separate. They held a great amount of concern for their son. Even though they thought it would be best for Uncle Xpecial to take him, they didn't want to drastically change his life by making him move cities. However, Uncle Turtle had a lot of growing up to do in order to take care of his teenage son.
"It took me a long time to realize that my parents were doing their best to make me happy," Hurtle stated. "Aph, actually, helped me realize that and...," he said, looking at me once more. I shrugged. It was the least I could do. He was my best friend after all.
"I think that, without her support, I probably would have gone into depression," he looked away from the group when he mentioned that. "I had thoughts of running away from home, I thought that my parents didn't love me, that they didn't want me, that maybe I was a mistake?" he said with a pained voice. He told me his feelings before in the past and I tried my best to reassure him that everything he thought was wrong.
"Things are better now though," Hurtle looked back at the group with a huge grin on his face. "Even though they'll no longer be together, they still put the effort to work together to raise me. That's why I'm going to be the best pro player out there," he said ambitiously. I saw Cyan roll her eyes, but she didn't say anything.
"That's why…" he started, giving the team a more serious look, "I'm giving this team two months," he informed them. I saw the confused looks on everyone's face. I already knew that Hurtle may or may not stay with us.
"I told Adept before I joined the team that I had an offer from Korea," he said and Adept nodded to confirm. "And I have until after Worlds to decide whether or not I'll join them," Hurtle continued. "Besides you guys already know that I want to be the best, and I'm not going to decline their offer unless I know that I can get there with you guys," Hurtle then looked at Cyan. She locked eyes with him.
"I'll still make fun of you though," Hurtle shrugged, he was directly talking to her now.
"As if I'd ever back down," Cyan smirked. I'm not sure of exactly what was going on, but it seemed like they had come to some kind of agreement.
"Alright, well I'm done with my story," Hurtle said, stretching his arms in the air. "Who's next?" Hurtle asked aloud. "Aph," he nominated and I nodded.
"I guess I'll start with the basics," I muttered, trying to think of my interests. I told them about how I enjoyed cooking and baking. Hurtle said that was one of the reasons why he was always over.
"I'm not very interesting," I said embarrassed. It was hard thinking about myself.
"Aph likes to read a lot," Hurtle mentioned.
"Ah, yeah. Though I haven't been able to read much lately," I said with an accusing tone. Hurtle just chuckled, knowing that it was his fault. After this, things went by easier for me. Then like Hurtle, I got to the end of my spiel and it was time for me to share something personal.
I thought back to the beginning of the week. "I love the rain," I started, more of an afterthought than anything. "When I was younger, the rain felt like the only thing I could relate to," I mumbled the last part, moving my gaze away from everyone not looking at anyone.
"Cyan brought this up earlier," I mention, giving her a quick glance. She had a slight guilty expression, but that disappeared instantly. "The affair between my father and Madlife was brought to light," I said slowly.
"You don't have to talk about this," Hurtle interrupted me. I know he wasn't trying to be rude.
"It's okay, I want to," I gave him a reassuring nod. He had a grim smile on his face, but he didn't say anything after that.
"It was about five years ago." I stared in front of me, not at anything or anyone in particular. I still wasn't completely comfortable talking about it, but I felt like it was my greatest struggle. I could have easily gone with a lighter topic, but Hades and Hurtle definitely set the mood for this.
"Aphromoo and I already knew about his affair before he came back from Korea," I told them. Before Doublelift came home, Aphromoo reassured me that things would be alright. I was young and so confused. I didn't understand why people were saying bad things about my father.
"Aphromoo confronted him about it a couple of days after," I closed my eyes, thinking back to that time. My parents both thought I was asleep, but they didn't realize that I woke up from the first shout. I remember standing at the top of the stairs, holding the railings, and listening to their screams.
"It was the first time that I heard my parents fighting," I continued, opening my eyes once more. "The next morning, Aphromoo told me that things would be okay, but that didn't stop me from waking up everyday to find Doublelift sleeping on the living room couch. After I saw him, I would go back to bed as if nothing ever happened," I stated. "Then Aphromoo would come wake me up, and they would act like everything was the same," I grimaced.
"They didn't know that I knew until one day Aphromoo saw me in the living room," I gazed down, suddenly interested in the floor. "He asked me how long I knew," I bit my lip. I remember being scared because I thought that he was mad at me for knowing. But he did what Aphromoo always did and reassured me that everything was fine. He brought me back to my room and we sat down and talked.
"I told him that I heard them fighting." I felt a blanket draped around my shoulders and I looked up. Hurtle had moved from his seat and was now sitting next to me. I smiled at him.
"Aphromoo forgave him after two months, but I couldn't," I muttered.
"There were too many people who knew about it. The kids at my school knew about it," I glanced up. Hades had a solemn look on his face.
"It got pretty bad – I had to change schools," I told them. I didn't even trust Hurtle completely when I moved. But he eventually earned it. He was always able to direct the attention to himself so I wouldn't have to say anything. People thought he was full of himself, but he was really doing it for my own sake.
"There was an enormous amount of tension between me and Doublelift for the next five years," I confessed, "But things are a lot better now. I'll be honest, I didn't want to play League because of the affair."
"Yet here I am," I smiled.
"Yeah, Aph's finally accepting her destiny," Hurtle chuckled.
"Couldn't keep away from us," Adept joked.
"If I remember correctly, you're the one who couldn't keep away from her," Hurtle smirked and Adept blushed.
"She was a good support!" Adept said in his defense.
"What is he talking about?" Cyan asked him curiously, but her eyes had narrowed.
"Just saying he's the one who added Aph in the first place," Hurtle explained.
"Yeah, but Hades is the one who plays with her the most!" Adept retorted. Hades shrugged.
"You're too busy playing with Azura," Hades pointed out.
"There's nothing wrong with us duoing!" Cyan responded. "Besides, she plays with Hades because you always solo queue!"
"She's right you know," I piped in, looking at my best friend. "I was neglected and Hades came to my aid!" I mocked.
As this conversation continued, we spent the time throwing insults and a lot of harmless teasing. It finally felt like we were actually going to get along now.
Afterwards, we took a short break. We had been sitting for such a long time that some of us needed to stretch. Hurtle was in the kitchen washing the dishes with Hades while Cyan was sprawled on the couch. Adept was nervously pacing in the hallway.
Once I finished talking about myself, Cyan spoke up and offered to share a story of her own. It was a big surprise for everyone, but she thought it would only be fair to share hers since everyone shared something personal about themselves. We were going to continue with her after our break. Then it would finally be our team captain's turn to share. Even though I've played a few games with Adept, he and Cyan were the two that I knew the least.
I looked at Cyan who had her eyes closed. She was probably tired. I rose from my spot on the floor and walked out into the hallway where Adept was still pacing.
"Something on your mind?" I asked him. I saw him jump a little. "Sorry," I apologized. I didn't mean to startle him.
"No it's fine," he reassured me. "I was just thinking," he admitted.
"Penny for your thoughts?" I inquired and he gave me a smile.
"What, my thoughts are only worth a penny?" he joked with me.
"You're right, that's too much," I teased him. He gasped dramatically. Then there was silence between the two of us. It got awkward real fast. I was interested in the pictures on the walls while he was interested in something on the floor.
"Thanks for sharing earlier," Adept finally spoke. I glanced at him and saw that he was looking back at me.
"Oh, no problem. I just felt like it was the right thing to do after hearing what Hades had to say and after rehearing Hurtle's story," I told him.
"Yeah. It's quite interesting," he murmured, looking off to the side.
"Hm?" I was a little confused. "What's interesting?"
"That everyone has 'a story'" he made air quotes. "Like I wouldn't have known that you guys had your share of problems by just looking at you, or from playing a game of League with you," he explained to me.
"Isn't that why a lot of people play games?" I asked. He looked back at me.
"What do you mean?"
"Well I'm obviously not talking about everyone," I started my explanation, "But there are people who play games because it's like being in a different world, right?"
"I think I see where you're going with this," Adept answered truthfully. "But then aren't they just running away from their problems?"
"I don't think so," I immediately said. Of course it definitely seemed that way, but I feel like there's more to the individual's story.
"Then what?"
"I think… playing games gives people more time," I bit my lip. This wasn't easy for me to explain. "It gives people a support system until they're ready to deal with their problems."
"Yes, toxic games are really supportive," Adept quirked an eyebrow.
"It distracts them from their problems though. By giving them a problem to deal with in game," I shrugged. I wasn't sure where I was going with this.
"Oh hey you guys," Hurtle said, leaving the kitchen with Hades. Hurtle looked slightly amused, but I ignored him. I guess they finished cleaning the dishes. I glanced at Adept. He still looked a little troubled.
"We should go back to the living room," I said before I left. The boys followed me. Cyan was still laying on the couch. Adept walked over to her.
"Wake up Cy," Adept gently shook her.
"Five more minutes," she mumbled, not bothering to open her eyes.
"That's like the most overused line ever," Adept scoffed. Cyan pouted and rose her arms into the air. Adept shook his head before he grabbed her hands and pulled her up.
Soon we were all back in our original seats with everyone now attentively looking at Cyan. She brushed her bangs to the side and stifled a yawn.
"So I'll tell you guys a story. Once upon a time there was a pretty little girl…" she began. I looked at Hurtle who was rolling his eyes. I quietly giggled and snuggled into my blanket.
"She grew up with high expectation parents," Cyan continued on, her expression turned a little gloomy. "She lived by a schedule. Breakfast. School. Piano. Art class. Dinner. Homework. Sleep."
"The only thing she looked forward to were the weekends," Cyan looked over at Adept and they shared a mutual smile. "Those were the days where she was able to play with the boy next door, where her only expectations were to have fun."
"Then one day, she found out the consequences of not meeting expectations…" Cyan trailed off. I brought my knees to my chest and hugged them. I noticed that Hurtle was also listening intently to the story.
"It meant more restrictions and soon she didn't have anything to look forward to," she frowned when she said that. "Then one day, she heard something at her window. She ignored it, until she heard it again." I blinked a several times. I felt a little drowsy. It was almost like I was being read a bed time story.
"It turns out that the boy next door was throwing marbles at her window," Cyan smirked. "They talked until it was midnight. This continued on for months."
"Then one weekend, the girl told the boy that she wished she could fly. He asked her why, and she said it was so she could come over and play," Cyan had a smile on her face, "So he told her, why don't you jump? She thought he was stupid, but then he promised her that he'd catch her… so then she jumped. From that day on she had her weekends to look forward to again."
"That's soo cute!" I squealed, clasping my hands together. Cyan blushed and scratched the back of her head. "That promise was so romantic," I sighed, glad that the story ended well.
"What can I say, I'm pretty romantic," Adept joked. This made Cyan turn even redder.
"Ugh, I don't know what was cheesier. That chick flick or this story," Hurtle groaned, collapsing to the ground. Cyan rolled her eyes.
"It's alright now. My parents learned later to give me some independence. They didn't want me playing games since they spent so much time doing it, but now they don't mind," Cyan shrugged.
"Do you still play the piano?" I asked her. She just shrugged in response.
"She doesn't play anymore," Adept told me, "she spends too much time at my place now anyways," he added.
"That's because you're too chicken to jump to my room," Cyan retorted.
"Maybe if I had a death wish," Adept rose an eyebrow, "I doubt I'd fit through your window anyways."
"Of course you would!"
"Why do that when I can... just walk through your front door," Adept inquired.
"It's less romantic," Hurtle snickered.
"See, even Hurtle knows," Cyan mumbled, crossing her arms.
Somewhere along their teasing, I felt my eyes getting heavier. I pulled on my blanket so it wrapped around me tighter.
"Oliver, it's your turn," Hades said. Adept froze for a moment.
"Right," Adept murmured. I released a small yawn.
The last thing I saw was the troubled look on our captain's face.
11/28/14