Author's Note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU SHAMBLETON! Our band concert was tonight, and it went amazing.

Buddy Holly

Weezer

Howince

Romance

After Howard looses the squint-off, he goes to the eye doctor and finds out he needs glasses. He hates them! He looks like Buddy Holly! Finally, Vince manages to drag Howard out of the shop and to the mall.

"Vince, let's just go!"

"No way, it's amazing here!"

"We're in a food court. In a mall." Howard sighed, munching on a chip. "How is it amazing? I can just feel everyone looking at my glasses."

"They're not looking at you, babe, they're looking at me."

"They're looking at me. They're always looking at me." Howard sipped his drink. "The only difference is that they're looking at my glasses instead of at all my beauty."

"I'll show you." He winked at a blonde, and she turned away, giggling.

"So you're straight now?"

Vince groaned, leaning back. "I'm the gayest person in the fucking world, Howard! I'm wearing makeup, I spend about three hours on my hair each day, I'm wearing a girl's top, and I'm wearing-" He snapped the elastic lace- "a g-string!"

"You are very gay, I'll give you that." Howard thought for a moment after his statement. "How do you fit in that?"

"What do you mean?"

Howard blushed a little, putting his head down so Vince couldn't see. "Big . . . feet."

"Oh." Vince laughed. "These jeans are so tight, I have to tuck to get into 'em. G-string helps with that, and is actually pretty comfortable."

"You're more and more like a woman every day."

"And you're and more like Buddy Holly," Vince squeaked out.

"Vince," Howard said, offended.

"Sorry, sorry!" Vince sighed. "I'm not a woman. I'm a guy. I'll top if you need proof," he said defensivley.

"I don't need proof . . . why are you so upset?"

"Those guys over there bullied me while you went to the bathroom." He pointed over his shoulder.

"Why would they bully you?"

"They called you Buddy Holly."

"And that's bullying you?"

"Yeah. Because it's you." Vince put his hand over Howard's. "And you're me."

"And you're just getting defensive?"

Vince nodded sheepishly. "Yeah."

"You don't have to be defensive around me." Howard leaned over the table and kissed Vince quickly. When he pulled away, Vince was blushing a bit.

"I thought we were just going as mates, to cover up?"

"Your foot's far enough up my leg to count the change in my pocket. I think people could tell."

Vince giggled like a school girl. "I guess. But they were still mean to me."

"They were mean to me. Not to you."

"But you're me!"

"I can fight my own battles."

"Don't you ever fear, I'm always near."

"Like I'll call on you to defend me."

Vince faked offence. "Hey!"

"They're not wrong, you know." Howard sipped. "I look just like Buddy Holly."

"If you're Buddy Holly, Mary Tyler Moore."

"You are! You're Mary Tyler Moore."

"I'm not Mary Tyler Moore, because if I was, you would need a really bad Cockney accent." Vince slipped his leg up Howard's. "You know I'm yours. I'd never bum Dick van Dyke. And I know you're mine, so don't make any jokes about dicks or lesbians."

Howard deflated from where he rised to make a comment. "And that's for all of time?"

"All of time. I don't care what anyone says, any more. Just don't care." Vince smiled coyly at Howard, spinning the orange plastic ring around on his pinky.