22. Experiment

Willow woke up first, finding they were in exactly the same position as when they had fallen asleep, all the way down to the connection of their bodies. Sunlight streamed underneath the curtains covering the windows. Though Varhog was still asleep and she didn't want to disturb him, Willow couldn't resist stretching. Her body was exceedingly sore and stiff from all of the exertions of the previous day.

As Willow stretched, she winced as the connection between them loosened. It had solidified somewhat as the fluid from Varhog's release and her fertility had dried in the hair on that part of her body. Thinking about her fertility made her curious, and she reached with her mind for her womb and surrounding organs, quickly discovering countless infinitesimal specks of vibrant energy within her body. Could those be Varhog's reproductive cells? She was amazed by how alive they seemed though they were so miniscule. Willow continued her search and soon identified a comparatively huge spark of light that seemed to be pulsating. She noticed the struggle of the first flecks of energy as they bombarded the larger one. Were their reproductive cells joining as she observed them with her mind? If they were, it was the genesis of a new life, even that of a child.

The thought filled Willow with wonder, and she kept her focus where it was, becoming more convinced with every passing minute that a baby was beginning to form in her body.

Suddenly she felt Sunset in her mind, surprisingly near. Sunshine! Are you all right? I can sense you are now, but last night was so wide ranging. You blocked me, unconsciously I could tell, but I could still feel the powerful emotions you felt. Your pleasure! It was ecstasy. Your pain! It was immense. Your devastation! It broke my heart. What happened? I was so worried, I told Arya. She might ask you about it. I am sorry, sunshine. I did not mean to intrude on such a personal moment, but it was the most pain, physical and emotional, I have ever felt you in. I thought only to feel joy and satisfaction from you, so feeling the rest had me beside myself. It was all Black Thunder could do to keep me from burning your hut down, though he felt his fair share of emotions from Varhog.

Willow smiled at her dragon's torrential concern and shared what had happened the night before, finding it provided a strange, cathartic sort of healing.

Oh, sunshine. I am so sorry, Sunset consoled. No wonder you felt as you did. It must have almost destroyed you that he nearly left. Good he did not. He would be a pile of ash by now, thanks to me, once I found out how he shattered your heart. And then I probably would be, thanks to Black Thunder, for destroying his Rider. What a mess we would be in.

Willow couldn't help but laugh, then she quickly bit her tongue so she wouldn't awaken Varhog. He had been through just as much—if not more, at least physically—the day before. She wanted him to rest as long as he needed. To reassure Sunset she was perfectly recovered, Willow showed her what she had discovered happening in her body.

Sunset's wonder matched her own. Can it be? she asked.

I think so, but I suppose it will take time to know for sure. See how the larger speck—I feel certain it's the egg, my own reproductive cell—has already blocked out the other specks? They're stuck in its outer shell. Those must be his reproductive cells, and one must have already joined the egg and fulfilled its purpose, fertilizing the egg and creating a new life. It has already begun to change, the energy congregating near the center of the mass. It's so amazing, I can hardly believe it.

Sunset stayed with her, and Willow was glad she had someone to share with who was equally as mesmerized. Still, she was eager for Varhog to awaken so she could get his insight and share her joy.

Varhog stirred after some time, and, with something to occupy her so totally, Willow was glad she hadn't prematurely wakened him. He noticed her preoccupation and began to ask about it, but his voice stuck in his throat and he coughed to clear it.

Willow smiled up at him and said, "Wait here." She sprang up, darted to the kitchen, retrieved the basket, and returned to him in about five seconds. She sat down next to him on the great bed and pulled the cloth off the top, searching the basket until she found what she was looking for. She grabbed the water skin with a look of triumph and handed it to him.

Varhog gratefully accepted it, raising himself up enough to drain the whole thing. "I hope there's another one for you," he said apologetically.

"Yes," Willow said, finding it and taking a drink herself. "There. Now you can speak, so what were you going to say?"

"I only wanted to ask how you were. You seemed distracted." Varhog lay back down, pulling another pillow over to prop his head up.

Willow climbed on top of him, straddling his chest. "Here, give me one of your hands." Varhog obliged, and she held it over the area she had been mentally exploring. "Focus with your mind right here," she eagerly instructed. "Tell me what you think."

Varhog did as she asked, keeping his eyes fixed on hers as they slowly widened. "Is that what I think it is?"

Willow nodded excitedly. "I think so. What else could it be? I knew I was fertile and have been for a few days. Arya explained all about it to me. It seems the only logical explanation. Which means we'll be parents!" She smiled then laughed, both expressions bubbling over with delight.

Varhog sat up, sliding her down his chest so she rested comfortably on his lap. His smile was as happy as she had ever seen it. "This is wonderful indeed, Eartheyes. To know we'll be parents so soon is a beautiful gift. Most wouldn't know for many more weeks. I suppose the only disadvantage is that it will feel like we have to wait that much longer until the child is ready to be born."

"It won't be so bad," Willow said lightly. "Not with all of the fun things we can now do together to keep us busy." Without thinking, Willow planted a joyful kiss on his lips, her eyes widening as she remembered why that might not have been the best thing to do as a casual expression of happiness. The burning passion filled her heart and soul, body and mind, and she couldn't remove her lips from his, nor did she care, so far-gone was her reason already.

"Mmm," she murmured into his neck, where she buried her face as the ecstasy washed over her a few moments later. Varhog was breathing heavily, his body hot and flushed. "Oops," she giggled. "I'm going to have to be more careful than that. If I accidentally kiss you outside when others are around, they might not thank me."

Varhog was able to laugh with her. "Aye, we'll need to remember. Maybe it will get less powerful with time. I mean the reaction to the kissing. I don't know if the rest will get less powerful if we live to do it a million times."

"Which we very well might," Willow said with a mesmerized look as she contemplated the idea. "I have no problem with that."

"Nor I," Varhog agreed.

She pulled back to look at him, an impish look in her eyes. "Are you hungry? I mean for food?"

"Aye," he said. "Is there anything in that basket?"

"Yes, plenty. After we eat, I want to try an experiment. Are you open to that?"

"If it involves you and me and more kissing, then I'm open to it," Varhog replied with a grin.

"Exactly my line of thinking," she agreed.

They ate and joked. He tickled her, and she squealed. They moved about freely in their nakedness, neither minding in the least. As she stepped over the dress she had worn, she said, "I'm glad you made me go with your mother and Myrin last night. If you had told me they were taking me to clean me up and dress me in fancy, revealing negligee, I would have never relented. But wearing that and seeing the way you looked at me made me feel so feminine. I never would have felt the same wearing my dirty, stinky leather clothes and boots. Thank you. That's another beautiful custom of your people."

Varhog smiled. She was by his side again, and after moving her hair around to drape over the front of her shoulder, he pulled her onto his lap with her back against his chest. "I'm glad you went. I too felt in dire need of a bath. The layer of dried sweat was so thick, I could see the salt on my skin. I think that would have irritated you as much as my bristles. Did your spell work, by the way? Your skin appears to be as smooth and beautiful as ever." This he said while stroking over one of her breasts, making her shiver.

"Yes, it worked perfectly. I felt no irritation, only pleasure, at the rough feel of your hide."

"And I'll always treasure my memory of you in that dress," Varhog added. "I don't know how I missed you grow into a beautiful, shapely woman right before my eyes, but I was thickheaded enough not to realize how amazing your body is. That dress made me crazy. Your breasts surprised me the most. They're so full and attractive. The dress left very little to my imagination, but my imagination never would have come up with something as good as the reality, before the evidence was so plainly before me. I'm sorry I eyed you in such a manner when I first saw you."

"No apologies necessary, sweetheart," Willow assured him. "I was elated to see my body have such an effect on you. It has become tall and strong as a Rider. I never thought I'd one day have a figure that would please a man. As I said last night, I'm sure we can thank the rigorous demands of our long courtship. I would have never gotten all this muscle if I hadn't wrestled with an Urgal every day."

Varhog chuckled, and Willow felt the vibration through her whole body. Since they were finished eating and otherwise attending to their more basic needs, he said, "So tell me about this experiment you had in mind."

"Gladly. I simply wish to see if we can resist the effects of our kissing, and if we try, what will happen. And if we can kiss anywhere on the other's body without causing the same result, or if all kisses equal the same thing. For example, yesterday when we got married, you kissed the backs of my hands and I yours, and we didn't feel the unbearable demands that we make love immediately. That's all I had in mind."

Willow felt and heard another rumble of amusement, and Varhog said, "I like the sound of this. How shall we begin?"

"Why don't you start by kissing me on the back of my neck and shoulders?" Willow suggested. "You'll know soon enough how it affects me."

So Varhog did as she suggested, and after a time, Willow breathlessly cried, "Good! That's enough. Well done, Yelloweyes. You make a fine scientist." His deep sound of amusement only increased the passion his kisses had excited, but she was still able to resist in a way she hadn't been able to when their lips touched.

Varhog turned her around to face him. "That was the best experiment I've ever conducted."

"Well, it has only just begun," Willow replied. "And while it felt marvelous, I still feel I'm able to resist the desire to make love to you. Now my turn."

Willow proceeded to imitate his efforts by kissing him repeatedly all over his face and neck, pausing once to ask, "And what is your conclusion thus far?"

Varhog gave her a tight smile, and she saw in his eyes the desire to bring their lips together, but he resisted, which was answer enough. Even so he responded, "In perfect control," with a bark of a laugh at how it sounded because of how aroused he was.

So Willow resumed, exploring as much of his torso as she could, descending down the middle of his abdominal muscles to perform what she expected to be her most trying test yet, with a kiss on the most sensitive area of his body.

Varhog jerked in surprise, muttering, "Eartheyes, you're going to kill me. Do you really expect me to resist that?"

Willow laughed. "But it proves that much at least. Though I would never kiss you there in public, the fact that you're still not making love to me has taught us something."

"That I'm insane?" Varhog ventured sarcastically. "I want to so badly, I'm about to break this bed in half."

"But you aren't," Willow insisted. "And that's what I wanted to find out."

"Then kiss me—on my lips—and end this suffering."

Willow laughed again and said, "I suppose you're right. The results of our experiment will not be objective if we attempt to proceed in this manner." She moved back up and leaned down to press her lips to his, opening her mouth to deepen their kiss in yet another new experience.

This brought about the expected chain of events, and once they had succeeded in relieving the insistent longing her experiment had aroused, Varhog sighed in relief. "Thank you, Eartheyes. Trying to resist that was almost painful."

"I'm sorry," Willow said contritely. "Are you ready for your next contribution to this great scientific endeavor?"

Varhog smiled at her adoringly. "I don't know how I keep loving you more. I think it will never be possible to feel more strongly and deeply than I do, then suddenly I do. It happens with alarming frequency, you know."

Willow kissed him carefully next to his mouth. "That was romantic," she informed him, so he would realize how his honest expression affected her.

"Was it? Well, I'm surprising myself more and more with my romantic gestures. And yes, by the way. I'm ready for my next assignment. Your wish is my command."

Willow smiled with the same look of adoration in her eyes. "Very well. Now you must experiment by kissing my front. And I give you permission to be as creative as you wish."

And so he was. Willow was unprepared for how enjoyable it would be, and at one point, Varhog paused to ask, as she had, "And what is your conclusion thus far?"

Willow tried to reply but only a high sounding "hmm" came out. On her second attempt she managed, "This feels more amazing than anything you have yet done, save perhaps joining our bodies. But even that, as incredible as it feels, didn't excite me like this. I suspect the combination of the two would bring about my immediate climax and total release."

Varhog raised his eyebrows, obviously finding her conclusion invaluable. "Is that so? Well, if I learn nothing else from this experiment, that alone will have made it worth it."

Varhog then resumed his efforts, and their next discovery astonished them both. Sometime later—surely a couple of hours—when their hearts were pounding painfully in their chests from their long exertion, and their breathing was ragged, and their throats were dry, and their bodies and the bed were soaked with sweat, and their mouths were sore from their long and passionate exchange, Willow wrenched herself away from him and lay gasping by his side.

Before she had fully recovered she demanded, "How was that possible?"

"Because you are the mate of a fearless Urgal ram," Varhog said, echoing her words from the previous night.

Willow smiled, turning on her side to face him, and he mirrored her movements. She closed her eyes and placed her hand over her heart, breathing deeply in an effort to calm her frenzied body. She then moved it to her throat, massaging with a pained expression on her face.

Earlier Varhog had retrieved a jug of water and two glasses from the kitchen, leaving them on the bedside table, and he now sat up to grab one, filling it with water before handing it to her. Willow accepted it and drank gratefully. "Thank you, Varhog. I think we had best not tell the others about that. They have no hope of besting us. You didn't happen to keep track, did you? Perhaps it would nonetheless be worthy motivation for them."

Varhog grinned, shaking his head as he drained his own glass. "No, Eartheyes, unfortunately I didn't," he said when he finished, setting the glass back down. "I fear even we may have a hard time besting our own record, and here we are on only our first day together."

"That was something I never expected," Willow commented. "Do you think it continued simply because you're an Urgal ram? Or was it because we kept kissing? Must we go through that again just to learn the answer? This experiment might leave me too weary to ever use our newfound knowledge again!" She rubbed her fingers over her lips. "My lips feel swollen and numb," she mused. "Do they look different?"

Varhog chuckled. "They do look slightly swollen, but they're already so temptingly full, it's hard to tell. Do mine? Now that you mention it, they are tingling somewhat from all of that unusual and exhausting exercise."

Willow laughed again. "I could say the same for you, handsome. They're already so full, I don't really notice a difference. I already want to kiss them again, however, if that means anything. Good thing my experiment will continue to require it."

"You know, I quite like this experiment. I think we have safely ascertained that I ought not to kiss your breasts in public, lest everyone around quail and quiver in the wake of our mighty and endless lovemaking."

Willow smiled blissfully, snuggling into his chest. "A sound and wise conclusion, Varhog," she approved in a tone of mock solemnity. "Yes, I suppose we did learn that particular kiss from you leaves me quite without any resemblance of self-control. I think I must be part Urgal. Where did I learn to vocalize like that? I was embarrassed at first but couldn't care anymore after a time. It's simply what had to be done. Then you reassured me you liked it and that settled it. Though when I'm distanced from this moment, I'm sure I'll reflect back with a certain degree of mortification."

"I hope you won't," Varhog earnestly insisted, tightening his arms around her. "It was the purest expression of your enjoyment and pleasure, nothing to be ashamed of. It made you seem both vulnerable and powerful at the same time."

"And that's exactly how I felt," Willow agreed. "I'm glad this is the same for Urgals as other races. Better, even. But I'm hungry again. And for the first time, only for food, as much as I hate to admit it."

"That is as it should be, Eartheyes," Varhog said. "Have we finished your experiment then?" He looked as if he hoped she would say no.

Which she did. "No, Yelloweyes. I can no longer say we have only begun, but we still have many interesting hypotheses to test. Let's eat first. I'd find it hard to believe if you weren't also hungry for food after that. I daresay it was more intense than fighting almost all of the rams in your clan and two dozen females besides."

"It was. And it took a lot more out of me," Varhog added, refilling his glass and draining it again.

Willow leaned away to choose some food from the selection in the basket, which was on the floor by the bed. But as she did, she asked in a conversational tone, "Did you know all of those females you fought? If it can be called fighting. It reminded me of how pathetic I was when we first started practicing. They never stood a chance, did they?"

"No, they didn't," Varhog agreed. "You only came to gain your current skill and mastery through constant practicing and dogged determination. I did know them all, Eartheyes. Many of the ones closer to my age sought me as a mate before I left. I'm surprised some of them are still single. That's unusual for our people. Most take mates before they're twenty-three or four. The younger ones would have only been children nine years ago. They must have simply heard about me and thought having a Dragon Rider as a mate would give them some sort of prestige. I've already told you I wasn't interested in any of them. Perhaps I sensed I had important things in my future, things that would have been more difficult if I had already had a mate. Or perhaps my soul just knew it hadn't yet met the woman it truly longed for."

She laughed, scooting back over to his side while she said, "Well, too bad for them. At least they got to feel the strength of your arms around them once, even if it was only for a moment and while being forced to admit defeat. Though they might never be satisfied with another ram as a result."

Varhog grinned. "You truly do enjoy being with me?"

She scoffed, glaring at him. "I'm still hungry! How dare you ask me a question like that, one that requires my defiant streak to prove to you just how much I enjoy being with you? How could you even doubt, Varhog?" she demanded.

"Sorry!" he quickly said, trying to placate her. "I don't know what came over me. Some lingering vestiges of the long argument I had with myself for why you would never accept or want to be with me, I suppose. You have proven, Willow, and made undeniably clear to every one of my senses, just how much you love being with me. And I hope you have also been able to feel just how very much I love being with you."

"Yes," she said, mollified. "Aren't you glad you didn't leave last night?"

A frown darkened his face, and Varhog quietly said, "I never apologized. I think I might have for hurting you, and I know you already forgive me, but I need to say this. I'm so sorry I almost said what I said, an unforgivable oath in the ancient language. I'm so sorry I almost walked out on you and abandoned you and our child. I'd already be back, begging forgiveness, if I had, as desolate as it would have made me feel.

"But I was totally unprepared for how it would affect you. I thought you would want me gone after I hurt you. I don't know why I thought that. I hurt and healed you before when we practiced fighting, but doing it unconsciously in a moment of uncontrolled passion that was supposed to leave you only relaxed and content just seemed so different. I'll never forget the heartbroken look in your eyes, no matter how many times I see the opposite look from here forward. I'll always remember it, just as I'll always remember how you looked in that dress. Not as a treasured memory, but as a necessary and painful reminder of the power love gives us to hurt the ones we love more profoundly than anyone else." He paused, taking her hands and adding with deepest humility, "Will you please forgive me, Willow?"

Willow placed one hand on his cheek and stroked softly, wanting to wipe away the pain, as she had the night before. "I will. I forgive you, Varhog. Thank you for your apology. You're right that I had already forgiven you, but hearing that from you and being able to say the words helps me process the pain and move on. I can leave it behind now. It must have still been festering, if only subconsciously, for me to bring it up as I did just then. I'm sorry to mar our happy moment."

"You needn't apologize. It was only marred because I created the situation in the first place. I'm glad you brought it up. Something that threatening needs to be discussed. It can't just be pushed aside and expected to disappear with some passionate lovemaking."

Willow nodded, and they finished eating in relative silence, more thoughtful and somewhat weary. When she noticed that she felt drowsy, Willow said, "I want to continue our experiment, but I'm tired. Can I first rest so I'll have my full strength for my next tests? I fear I'll need all I can get for what I have in mind."

Varhog was so tender and understanding. With a look that conveyed both emotions, he took her in his arms and said, "Of course, Willow. I'm also weary. I hope you never feel you must satisfy my desires over your own needs. Just today I've had enough satisfaction to last me for weeks."

She giggled softly, already slipping away, and murmured, "No, not weeks. Maybe a few hours. I love you . . ." Then she was gone, warm and comfortable in his arms, secure in his love and promise to always remain with her.

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