A/N- First off- Sorry there wasn't an update last week! I was busy, and stuff, and... yeah. It happens. And then we had a garage sale today, and now I'm currently sneaking away from my brother's birthday party to finish this... And, sorry in advance for any typos, since I didn't have time to read over it thoroughly once I finished. I think it's okay, though. Hopefully :)

Enjoy~

Misaki couldn't sleep that night. He lay tossing and turning, plagued by thoughts that refused to let him sleep. The fact that Nowaki had kissed him- twice- was the source of the majority of his stress. True, the doctor had taken him in when he had nowhere else to go, maybe taken him under his wing a bit, but he was shocked that the older man had actually... developed feelings for him?

There had been a few signs, he supposed, but they had been subtle. Whenever Usami wanted to declare his love for Misaki, he simply did. Usually regardless of time, surroundings, and whether or not Misaki wanted to hear it.

Misaki rolled onto his side, hugging his pillow tightly to himself. Just because both Usami and Nowaki seemed to like him, they were so completely different from each other that there was almost no logical way to compare them to each other.

Misaki rolled over agin, not realizing how close to the edge of the bed he was, and fell to the ground with a faint thump. The impact knocked the wind out of him, and he laid there for a moment, trying to force the air back into his lungs. As he was trying to catch his breath, he listened carefully to see if him falling had awakened Nowaki.

Thankfully, he didn't hear anything, but by the time he caught his breath he was already starting to drift off. Although the hard floor wasn't particularly comfortable, he didn't bother getting up and fell asleep right where he'd fallen.

The next morning, it was Nowaki's turn to wake up to the smell of cooking food. He sighed, and mentally noted to tell Misaki that just because he was staying there, that didn't make him Nowaki's slave.

When he entered the kitchen, he saw that Misaki was still in his pajamas, which he supposed meant he didn't have any early classes to hurry off to.

"Morning." Misaki said, his movements seeming oddly stiff- Not as though his movements were awkward, exactly, but rather like his muscles were sore.

"Morning... um, are you okay?" Misaki scooped oatmeal out of the pot on the stove into a bowl, and passed it to Nowaki as he said,

"I kind of fell out of bed, and ended up sleeping on the floor..." He got a bowl of oatmeal for himself, picking up a bowl of freshly-washed fruit and bringing it to the table before taking a seat himself.

"Oh, well that sounds... not fun." Misaki almost said that he was used to having much worse pain in the morning when he was staying with Usami, but refrained from doing so. Nowaki placed his own bowl on the table, but instead of sitting down he made his way behind Misaki and placed his hands on the younger man's shoulders. Misaki whirled around from the unexpected contact, confusion clear on his face.

However, as soon as Nowaki's fingers began to gently massage his tense shoulders, he couldn't help but relax into the touch. Misaki gave a gentle sigh of approval, as Nowaki's fingers sorted out the knots in his back and shoulders due to his uncomfortable sleeping position the night before.

The way Nowaki's fingers moved, gently rubbing his hands over Misaki's shoulders, was one of the best things he had ever felt. He was relaxed, to the point that he was almost becoming drowsy. Once all of the tensed muscles were relaxed, Nowaki allowed his fingers to linger a little longer than they needed to.

Then, to the younger's surprise, Nowaki wrapped his arms around the younger's chest and gave him a quick, innocent hug.

"Better?" Nowaki asked, his chin resting on Misaki's shoulder. Misaki nodded quickly, mumbling,

"Y-yeah, thanks..." Nowaki walked around the table to his own seat, and the two started eating in relative silence.

"So... do you not have any classes today?" Nowaki asked once his own bowl was nearly empty.

"I have two later this afternoon, but nothing until then." Misaki thought for a moment. "I still have a lot of make-up work to do, though, so I was thinking of heading to the university library early." Misaki cleared the empty dishes and was about to start washing them when Nowaki said,

"It's fine, I'll get the dishes- you can go get dressed and stuff." Misaki, although he was a bit hesitant, agreed, and decided to take a shower since he finally had time.

It was 11 AM when Misaki was finally ready to leave for the library. Nowaki bid him a quick good-bye and thankfully didn't try to kiss him (Which actually surprised Misaki a bit).

The bus ride to the university was uneventful, and he had about two hours to work by the time he arrived. He took a seat at an empty table, and took out all of the work he still had to get done.

He had barely started working, though when he could feel the eyes of the people around him staring at him. He glanced up, and saw practically every singe person in the library not-so-discreetly turn back to their work. What the heck? he thought, wondering what he had done that would cause everyone in the room to stare at him so intensely.

Misaki could still feel the pressure of people staring, and was also aware that the library was even quieter than usual, as though everyone had abandoned what they were supposed to be doing in favor of watching him, and the atmosphere seemed almost expectant, as though they expected him to say something.

SInce Misaki wasn't usually a paranoid person, he tried to brush it off as that the rumor he had been in the hospital had spread even further. He kept working diligently, and had nearly finished some notes for physics class when a girl he had never talked to before walked over.

"Um, excuse me, but... is it true?" She seemed hesitant, but Misaki didn't really notice that- he had no idea what she was talking about, or how to answer. After moment, he settled on,

"Pardon, but is what true, exactly?" The girl flipped her long, straight hair over her shoulder at leaned against the table Misaki was working at.

"The rumors- you know, how everyone's been saying you almost got killed?" Well, if that's the extent of what they've figured out, it's probably best to just use the same excuse as before...

"Oh... yeah, I was walking home, and I got jumped. I don't know what else people have been saying, but-" Misaki was painfully aware that, despite their hushed tone of conversation, nearly every one of the library's occupants was listening in.

"So, the rumor that your author friend-" Misaki cut her off, quickly becoming annoyed. He had come to get work done, not be interviewed about the stupid he-said, she-said rumors that had apparently spread like wildfire.

"No! Nothing else happened, okay? I was walking home, there was a shortcut through an alley, I got mugged by some idiot with a knife." Misaki glared at the girl, who gave a small squeak before returning to where she had priorly been sitting with her friends.

He turned his eyes back to his work, but couldn't focus. His face was warm, and he could imagine his cheeks being tinted red with rage at the girl- but really, he realized after he took a deep breath- it hadn't been that girl's fault. He was more upset at that she had known about Usami's involvement, which meant the rumors were probably much closer to the truth that Misaki had thought they would be.

Misaki rested his forehead on the table heavily, still unable to come up with the formula he would need for the next problem he was working on.

Despite how much work he still needed to get done, and how many eyes he could still feel staring at him, Misaki fell into a half-asleep daze a few minutes later.

Where would I be right now, he thought to himself, if none of this had ever happened? I'd probably be at home- Meaning Usagi-san's penthouse, and trying to get some work done while he would be... huh. Depends on the day. There's times he'd just be bugging me, or maybe he'd be professing his love in his usual over-dramatic manner- Or maybe, he'd be...

Misaki shuddered and sat up. He had been sitting in the same position for so long that his forehead had stuck to his paper, and he hastily peeled it off before anyone else around him noticed.

He checked his watch, realizing that he had spent most of his study time thinking about Usami. Misaki set back to work quickly after that, mostly to keep his mind occupied so that thoughts of a certain silver-haired author would stay out of it.

Before he knew it, it was time for his class to begin Although he hadn't gotten done with everything he had originally hoped to, he still managed to do enough that the mountain of make-up work didn't seen quite so daunting.

As soon as Misaki entered the physics classroom, all heads pivoted to look at him. He stared down at his shoes, fuming, as he made his way to his seat. Why the heck was it always him? First, he'd gotten constantly stared at because Usami insisted on driving him to classes- And now, he was being glared at because of some stupid rumor that probably had more truth to it than he would care to admit.

Misaki plopped down heavily into his seat, taking out his materials and waiting for class to begin. He could feel people staring at him the same way they had been in the library- the uncomfortable prickling as the hairs on the back of his neck stood up was quickly becoming a familiar sensation.

Once he class began, Misaki was able to pretend he was just being paranoid, and force himself to ignore it. However, he couldn't keep his thoughts from wandering.

'What would Usagi-san think', he thought to himself, 'I bet he would say I was just being paranoid, or that everyone simply couldn't stop staring at his Misaki because he was so...' Misaki couldn't think of an adjective that sounded like something Usami would use. 'And then, after saying something stupid he would kiss me and touch me and...' Misaki frowned. It seemed like most of his thoughts about Usami lately had been different from how they usually were. Before, he had always wondered what to buy for dinner that he would like, or other meaningless things like that. He wondered vaguely about the proverb, 'You don't realize what you have until it's gone'.

Since the incident of Misaki's stabbing, however, his thoughts seemed to have turned much more... serious, maybe. He worried a lot about what Usami would think about little things, unimportant everyday things that had never before seemed to be of consequence. Although he would probably never admit it, even to himself, Misaki missed Usami.

A lot.

"... Usagi-san?" Misaki sat curled up on his bed with his back against the wall.

"Miss me, Misaki?" there was a slight laugh to Usami's words, albeit a rather grim one.

"N-no, it's not that! I mean... I was just wondering what you've been doing?" No matter how much his young lover denied it, Usami could hear in Misaki's voice that he missed him.

"Nothing much. It's boring." he said, "I miss you."

"Um... yeah." Misaki tried to think of a reply, "But... besides that?" Misaki wrapped a lock of his short hair around his finger, watching it turn nearly purple before releasing it.

"The food is bad. I have to share a room with some old man. They aren't letting me write. There's no Misaki."

"They aren't letting you... write?" Although Misaki had assumed there would be a lot of restrictions, forbidding Usami to do what was both a job and a hobby seemed a little extreme. Not that Misaki minded the fact that it meant Usami wouldn't be allowed to write any perverted fiction, with him as the main character...

"No." Usami paused. "You know, Misaki, you never told me which friend you're staying with..." Just then, the apartment's front door opened and Misaki heard Nowaki enter.

"Usagi-san, I-I have to go. I'll talk to you later!" Misaki pressed the 'end call' button before Usami got a chance to reply.

He hadn't technically had to go, and he knew that next time he talked to Usami the older man would demand an answer to his question. However, he pushed the notion to the back of his mind and decided to go ask Nowaki how his shift had gone, as well as why he was home so soon, as he had only been at the hospital for at most six hours.

"Hey..." Misaki said as he walked into the kitchen. Nowaki was getting some food out of the refrigerator, and Misaki walked over to help.

"Oh... hey, Misaki. How was school?" Misaki was reminded of how his brother used to ask almost the exact same thing every day of elementary, middle, and high school.

"Well... let's just say, I guess word got out faster than I thought it would."

"Wait, what do you mean?" Nowaki stopped preparing dinner and turned to look at Misaki.

"Well... Usagi-san used to drive me to school almost every day, even though it isn't a far walk at all- So quite a few people knew we were at least friends..." Nowaki noticed that Misaki hadn't bothered to stop himself from using his nickname for Usami. "Since he's a famous author, I guess it would make sense that the press would hear something about it, and turn it into some huge scandal."

It was then that everything clicked in Nowaki's mind- Usami Akihiko, the one Misaki had been staying with, was in fact the famous author, winner of more awards than any other in a decade. That was why the name had sounded familiar when he had seen it written on the medical sheet at the end of Misaki's bed in the hospital...

Nowaki mentally slapped himself for now having out two and two together- it explained the excessive apartment, and Nowaki recalled reading in an article a while back that there were vague suspicions of him being homosexual.

"Um, are you...?" Misaki trailed off.

"I'm fine, sorry." Nowaki noted that Misaki probably assumed he had made that connection a long time ago. "Anyway- what are their rumors saying, exactly?" Misaki sighed.

"I'm not positive, I never heard all of it. I sort of... blew up at the girl who was asking me about it." Misaki remembered how he had full-on shouted at her- and despite the fact that it had felt nice to let his anger out at the time, he regretted not having figured out what everyone was saying about him.

"Oh. They figured out he was involved, then?" Misaki didn't have to ask who 'he' referred to, as it was fairly obvious to both of them.

"Yeah, but I just sort of told them the same lie I've been telling everybody- something about having gotten jumped in an alley." Nowaki smirked.

"They bought it?" Misaki shrugged. "And... who's 'everyone'?"

"Um... people at school, my brother..." Misaki tried to brush it off like it was no big deal, but it was clear that he felt bad about lying to his older brother.

"You haven't told your brother?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time- I mean, I know I'll have to tell him eventually, but it's just simpler this way. My brother and Usagi-san have been friends for a long time, and if he found out what happened..." Nowaki was unsure what emotion he was feeling, exactly, but he couldn't help but say sarcastically,

"What, you don't want him to find out that his best friend raped his little brother?" The expression that crossed Misaki's face was one of shock and horror.

"I... he hasn't... It's not exactly like that, Nowaki-san, he-" Nowaki crossed his arms and leaned against the counter.

"What do you mean, 'it's not like that'? I can tell by how you talk about him that whatever he felt- or feels- for you, it isn't and never has been mutual." Misaki looked down at his hands which were tightly clenched together, clearly uncomfortable with the topic Nowaki had brought up.

"I just... I don't know, really." Misaki stumbled over his words, unable to get the idea out properly. "I just think that if I had really asked him to stop, he probably would have. He was always really... forceful, I guess, so that was never exactly easy..." Nowaki frowned, clearly deep in thought.

"You sound like you're trying to make excuses for him now, you know. I may not be right, but just based on how you describe him- I don't think he would have stopped. The way to reacted when I kissed you- you didn't want any of what he gave you, right?"

"M-maybe not all of the time, but... why should it matter?" It seemed Nowaki ha pushed him just a bit too far, and Misaki had turned defensive.

"Look- I'm not saying you have to talk to me about it, but I just figured you'd want someone to be on your side in this. Am I right?" Nowaki wasn't sure what point he was trying to make, and was aware that his words didn't make much sense. But apparently, Misaki had understood his intentions because he said slowly,

"It's not that I don't want to talk to you, I... I want someone to be on my side, I really do. But, I don't want to bother you or have to rely on you too much, or-" Misaki was starting to ramble, ant cut himself off as soon as he realized he was doing so. Nowaki, on a sudden whim, closed the small space between them and pulled Misaki into what he could only hope was a comforting embrace.

Misaki didn't say anything as Nowaki's arms snaked around his back, or pull away as he would have in a heartbeat had it been Usami hugging him.

"You don't bother me..." Misaki could feel Nowaki's heartbeat and voice from where his face was buried in Nowaki's chest. "And it's perfectly fine to rely on people sometimes- no one can be strong all the time, so don't worry about it, okay?" Misaki took a deep breath, inhaling the clean smell he had come to know as Nowaki's own. He didn't pull away, instead mumbling into Nowaki's shirt,

"Okay..." Nowaki's arms unwrapped themselves from Misaki's shoulders, and he took a step back. Misaki's cheeks were splashed with a light pink from the close contact, and he avoided Nowaki's eyes, instead choosing to pick up where Nowaki had left off with chopping vegetables.

Seems like I've been 'not-strong' more often that not lately, though... Misaki narrowly avoided cutting himself with the knife three times before Nowaki took notice of how distracted his young charge still seemed, and offered to let him stir the dish that was cooking on the stove.

Despite the fact that now Nowaki was the one trying to avoid cutting his fingers, he still chanced a few glances in Misaki's direction. He still seemed distracted and deep in thought, despite Nowaki's reassurance that it would be okay- and, no matter how cheesy it sounded, that they would be able to get through all of it.

It only took a few minutes after that to get dinner on the table, and in what was becoming a habit between the two of them, neither spoke for a while. There were only a few bites of food left between the two of them by the time Nowaki broke the silence and asked,

"Are they going to let you see them? Usami-san, I mean." It was clear that Nowaki had picked up on that he was not welcome to use Misaki's nickname for him.

"Um... I'm not sure. I don't really know if I honestly want to see him yet, though. I-it's not that I'm scared of him, exactly, but..." Nowaki nodded.

"Well of course, I don't blame you at all, Misaki, not after what he did- he did try to kill you, after all." Misaki winced visibly at Nowaki's words. "I'm sorry, that didn't sound-"

"It's fine- I know he did, even if he didn't mean it, it just..." Misaki tapered off midway through the thought.

"Wait, what do you mean?" Nowaki looked at Misaki as though he had just spoken another language.

"Well, he was drunk, a-and I know he cares about me too much to do that if he were sober." Nowaki frowned.

"Even after all he's done to you, you still think he didn't mean any of it?" Nowaki seemed outraged that Misaki had even considered such a thing.

"Well... yeah, I've talked to him, and he always seemed..."

"Guilty? He is. Or hadn't you noticed?" Nowaki's words had turned bitter and sarcastic, beyond how Misaki had ever heard them in the short time they had known each other. It almost scared him, similar to how Usami's occasional drunken stupor would put him into a blind panic with the sole intention of getting away before Usami forced him to do things he really didn't want to do.

Misaki resisted the urge to get up and run. but only because the expression it Nowaki's eyes was so drastically different from the one that often haunted Usami's.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you- But it's true, he did try to kill you. And even if you don't want to admit it, that's going way too far for any relationship." Misaki couldn't think of a way of replying to that- Of course, he knew the whole thing wouldn't just blow over and go back to how things had been before, but that didn't stop a part of him from being in denial and wishing it could be that way.

After washing the dishes and putting away the leftover food, Misaki returned to his room as quickly as possible. He didn't even bother turning on the light, just walked over to his bed and lay down there, face- down in the near-darkness.

Meanwhile, Nowaki was pacing irritably in the next room over. He knew he had probably upset Misaki more than the situation had called for, but he hadn't been able to help it- Misaki constantly tried to turn a blind eye to anything related to his old landlord, as though he was scared of facing the full impact of what had been done.

Nowaki knew a lot of it would be difficult for Misaki to face- he didn't know the extent of Misaki's emotional damage, but could tell from what he had observed that it would Misaki take more than a few weeks to get over what had happened in its entirety.

A/N- So, I thought we'd start something new this chapter. For everyone who submits a thoughtful, constructive review, I'll send you a preview of the net chapter via PM. How's that sound?

Oh! And this story is finished! (Or I've written the whole thing out by hand, at least. I still have to type it.) So, it's not going to be one that rambles on forever without a plot- I actually do have a purpose, even if you can't tell XD

And as always, reviews are author food, please don't make me starve~! :)