24. Uninhibited

After sleeping for a few hours, Varhog awoke first, feeling deeply content and rested. His stamina and strength were far greater than Willow's, and the exercise of that day and the previous one had not taken so much out of him that a perfect night's sleep and little nap would not allow his complete recovery. Since he didn't want to disturb Willow, he remained where he was.

Varhog admired her for a time. He could see one side of her face, and he noticed how long her dark eyelashes looked resting next to her cheek. Her eyebrow arched in a graceful curve and her cheekbone was high and defined. Her lips were full, red, and slightly parted in relaxation. She had a strong jaw but it narrowed as it met her chin, and her face took on a delicate heart shape as a result. Her warm brown hair was thick and shining and fell all over in careless waves. She was devastatingly beautiful, and not only to him. Varhog knew she was extraordinarily lovely for a human.

Then he looked up. The room was a mess, with clothing and the contents of the basket all about them. The bed was in shambles—blankets rumpled and still damp under his body. Varhog shook his head slightly to clear the feeling that he was in a dream. Apart from his complete idiocy of almost leaving the night before and almost swearing he would never touch her again—he shuddered involuntarily at the thought—this time together had been so perfect. The fact that Willow was lying peacefully in his arms was still unbelievable. Just under two months ago, he had despaired she would never see him as more than a friend, let alone agree to become his mate, let alone actually willingly join with him in this amazing experience. He felt so blessed. Someone or something must have felt he was worthy of this great gift, though he couldn't possibly think what he had done to earn it.

Varhog reflected on the strange phenomenon that kissing her created. Perhaps this was what Myrin had meant when she told Willow he would have learned the truth if he hadn't always been by himself. It also fit with what Grintuk had hinted at. The older Urgralgra must teach the growing rams and females about this, which meant it must be the same for all Urgralgra.

Varhog wasn't sure he appreciated it. He had seen Firesword and Murtagh kiss their mates plenty of times, and they did seem to enjoy it, but it was able to be a simple expression of affection when they wanted it to be, rather than a passionate requirement that demanded they join their bodies at once. Varhog wished it could be that way for him and Willow when they wanted.

He thought about what they had observed with their minds inside her body and sought out the energy again, distinguishing it from the vibrant light of her living body. The tiny speck seemed largely unchanged and yet profoundly different. It was still miniscule and unrecognizable, just a blob. But the cells had already matured and divided. How could a whole living, breathing, thinking, moving being develop from two minute specks that joined together after a moment of passion? It forced Varhog to again think about the someone or something that seemed to have a greater design for life than to simply let it happen and hope for the best.

About this time, Willow began to stir. Varhog directed his focus back to her so he could fully appreciate how it felt as she moved and stretched against him, how it sounded to hear her sigh and murmur as she came back to consciousness, and how the still-sweet scent of her hair lingered over the pungent odor of his sweat. He grimaced slightly.

Almost as if she knew what he was thinking, Willow turned her face into his chest, inhaling deeply. "Mmmm," she breathed. "You smell good. I like how musky and masculine it is." Her voice was still thick with sleep.

Varhog sighed as his body began to react with arousal. He tried to take his mind off of it by asking, "You don't think I stink?"

"Mm-mm." This time it was a denial. "I think you smell like a ram who has been making love to me all day, and I like it."

Varhog gritted his fangs. Willow wasn't helping his attempts to distract himself, but why should he? She was inviting him in her word and manner to do it again, or so it seemed to him.

"Would you like me to again?" Varhog hopefully asked.

"More than anything. But first, there is a smell I want to take care of. My mouth has an awful taste in it after eating that cheese and falling asleep right away. Give me a moment, would you?"

"Of course. That's a good idea."

Willow jumped up to search the basket for the items that would help her clean her mouth. Once she found them, she held them up with a proud smile in his direction and swiftly left the room. Varhog got up and followed her.

When he arrived in the washroom, she was in the middle of relieving herself and brushing her teeth at the same time, to be efficient, Varhog supposed. He looked apologetic and turned as if to go, but Willow only grinned at him, waving with her free hand and saying around the brush in her mouth, "Oopth. Didn' 'hink 'ou were comin' righ' away. A'mos' dun." Varhog grinned.

When done, Willow jumped up to wash her hands. Then she finished her job with the brush. Once she had rinsed her mouth and the brush, she said, "That feels much better! Your turn?" and offered it to him.

"You never cease to amaze me, Willow," Varhog said in open admiration, accepting the toothbrush from her. "Aren't you at all embarrassed that I just saw you relieving yourself?"

Willow giggled. "A little, I suppose, but you already had and acting like you hadn't would have only made it more awkward as we both tried to ignore it. It's as basic an instinct as eating and sleeping, part of what it means to be alive, so why be ashamed of it? But if I had to do the other, I might insist on some privacy, if only to spare you the smell."

His amazement only increased. "Does that mean you wouldn't have a problem if I did the same right in front of you?"

"Not at all," Willow assured him. "We've shared as much, if not more, this past day. Has it only been a day? It feels so natural being with you, Varhog. As easy as breathing."

Varhog began to brush his own teeth while relieving himself, as she had done. As Willow smoothed her hair out in front of her reflection in the mirror, she glanced sideways in interest, grinning slyly. He noticed and shrugged, questioningly raising his eyebrows.

"I'm just curious," she said. "I've never seen a man relieve himself. It seems like it would be convenient, since you get to stand and all."

Varhog returned her grin around the brush and held up one finger, indicating he meant to answer her in a moment. When he was finished, he also rinsed his mouth out and set the brush aside. "It is convenient. We can go anywhere we wish while outdoors without even pulling down our pants all the way. One reason of many I'm grateful to be a ram." Then he added, "As it so happens, I seem to need to do the other and I also feel more comfortable with some privacy. I'll empty this pot when I'm done and return to you, fair enough?"

Willow nodded, making a face at herself in the mirror. "I can't do anything with my fingers. It's too tangled. I'll brush my hair while I wait for you."

Varhog requested, "May I? I have often noticed Firesword brush Arya's hair. She seems to enjoy it, and so does he. I can imagine why, since yours is so soft and shining."

Willow smiled and said, "I'd love that. I'll tidy up the room instead. See you when you're done." She left, closing the door behind herself.

Varhog knew he was a lucky ram. He hadn't anticipated Willow's openness to extend to being so uninhibited in this regard. He had a difficult time seeing Arya or Lady Nightstalker doing the same as she had done.

As he left the hut to empty the chamber pot outside, Varhog heard Willow humming to herself and smiled. It already felt like they were a family. He returned to the washroom, where he quickly washed himself with soap and water. In spite of Willow's reassurances, he still thought himself smelly. He briefly regarded himself in the mirror, trying to see in his face what Willow found handsome before giving up. He was a ram. Those things escaped him.

When he entered their room, it was clear she had been quite busy. The room was completely altered from its previous state. His clothes were folded in a neat pile on the chair. The sheets, blankets, and pillows were meticulously straight. All of the contents of the basket were organized once more in their home, empty containers nestled into each other and cloths neatly folded. Everything was orderly and tidy, but Varhog wasn't at all surprised—it was one of Willow's most defining traits.

Willow was once again wearing her dress and standing at one of the windows, which had its curtains pushed aside, leaning out with her hands pressed to Sunset's snout.

Varhog put a finger over his lips when one of Sunset's stunning pink-orange eyes fell on him, silently walking to stand behind Willow and gently slipping his arms around her. She jumped and exclaimed in surprise while Sunset hummed her amusement.

"You startled me," Willow breathed, leaning back into him.

"That was the idea," Varhog murmured in her ear. "You put clothes on?"

"Only because you seemed to like seeing me in it so much, but that was before you saw me out of it, so maybe you won't appreciate it as much now. I know I won't have much cause to wear this dress from here on out, especially as my belly starts to grow in a few months. It's too beautiful to only wear once."

Varhog ran his hands down the front of her body, letting his fingers slide over the laces that crisscrossed over her bare skin so he could feel it underneath. "I agree," he said. "It's too beautiful to wear only once, but it's only beautiful because you're in it. It's almost as soft as your skin." He continued moving his hands up and down her body, and she closed her eyes in contentment.

Sunset's voice suddenly filled their minds. Thank you for making my sunshine happy, Varhog. You are a good ram and worthy of her. But take care you do not hurt her again. I almost tore your hut down last night to come after her.

Varhog looked remorseful. I'm sorry I hurt her, as I'm sure you know, from her mind and my own. I'll always do my best to help you protect her. Thank you for sharing her with me.

Sunset blinked her acknowledgement, lifting her head. You two have a good time. It has been pleasant sharing Willow's mind these past hours, or at least feeling the tone of it.

Willow shut the window to keep the cool evening air out. Then she turned in his arms, stretching on her toes so she could put her arms around his neck. He bent down to make it easier for her. "You washed up?"

"I thought I smelled bad."

"You didn't," she insisted. "But you still smell good. I like how your soap smells like pine and cedar."

"I like how your hair smells like lavender and roses."

"It does smell good," Willow agreed. "I'll have to ask mother how she made that shampoo." She reached up and placed one finger on his chin. "I love this."

"My chin?" he wondered.

"The cleft in it," she clarified, stretching even more so she could kiss it.

"Shall we dance a moment?" Varhog asked. "You are dressed for it." He stood up straight and lifted her with his hands around her waist, lowering her to stand on his feet and encircling her in his arms. Then he began humming, while also stepping around with her feet on his. "You're a good dancer," he joked.

Willow giggled. "I have a good partner." Varhog got more creative, embellishing his playful dance by turning in a circle and dipping her down. After a few minutes, Willow turned her face up, resting her chin on his chest so she could stare straight at him and asking, "Is this something any other Urgal would have thought to do?"

"I don't know. I thought to do it, but I've been strongly influenced in my perceptions of love and affection by humans and elves, who dance often. But there were many things I was wrong about when it came to love with the Urgralgra. Maybe they all dance together in their bedrooms. Though two sets of horns might make it difficult, especially if the female isn't much shorter."

Willow laughed. "Well, whether it's an Urgal way or not, it's very romantic and I love it."

"Good," he said. Then he finished and stood still.

"Do you remember that day in my room before we went to Lake Arya?"

"Of course," Varhog said.

"When you held me and stroked my back to comfort me, it was the first time I knew for sure I loved you. I wished I had an excuse to snuggle in your arms every day. It's my favorite place to be."

"Then that must have been a hard day for you and not only because it was the anniversary of your little brother's death. You were so impatient for me to confess my feelings, weren't you?"

Willow nodded. "Yes, and I couldn't understand why you were so reluctant. I was beginning to think it was because you didn't feel more for me, but I now know that wasn't it. Do you remember when you first knew you loved me?"

"It was so long ago, Willow, and it happened so gradually. I never expected to fall in love with a human. But I'm sure I loved you by the time you were eighteen. I still remember that birthday. After I walked you to your room that night and you went in, I stood in the hallway, staring at your door and wishing I never had to say good night to you again. I finally admitted to myself that I loved you. Until then, I tried to deny it every time the thought crept into my mind. It seemed so impossible that you would ever feel the same."

Willow leaned her cheek against his chest. "I love that we don't have to leave one another at night anymore. After that first time we hugged—I can't believe it was only a couple months ago—my arms felt so empty. I went into my room, hugged my pillow, and cried to Sunset. I slept by her side that night, as I did almost every night, but being able to sleep by your side is infinitely better. When I first saw your room and asked if you slept in your bed, the thought came to my mind that you could be a warm body to snuggle with, but I tried to ignore it since I thought you viewed the idea of our different races as too large an obstacle to overcome."

Varhog chuckled. "I did exactly the same thing that night. I tightly hugged my pillow, wishing it could have been you, while complaining to Black Thunder. Though I don't think I cried."

"I've only seen you cry once, Varhog, and that was last night. But I cry plenty for us both, so it's no matter."

Varhog smiled down at her when she turned her face back up to him. "I love you, Willow, but those words never seem like enough." She nodded in agreement. He then added, "It's getting late but I'm not tired. How are you?"

"Not tired," she agreed. "Shall we resume our experiment?"

"With relish," he said. "What are we going to test next?"

"We're going to discover if we're at all able to resist the demands that accompany a kiss on the lips and if so, for how long. Any questions?"

"Yes. Are you sure this is a good idea? It doesn't feel natural to resist those demands. What if I get dangerous?"

"Hmm. Good point. Well, we need to know that too, I suppose. Since it's a common expression of affection for humans and the other two couples do so often, if I accidentally kiss you, I want to know what to expect. Are we going to rip each other's clothes off on the spot no matter who's around? Can we quickly leave our surroundings and find a private place in time? If we try, will you become dangerous? All things that would be helpful to know."

"I can see your wisdom. I'm just worried. It would be easier not to kiss in public, but even I might forget, with how much I love you and, as you said, how casually the others do. Very well. I'll participate in your experiment. How shall we begin?"

"I'll kiss you and try to leave. You try to stay. If you feel yourself getting out of control, roar or something. We'll quickly come back together and do what must be done. Will that work?"

"Yes. I think I'm also going to get dressed. That will be a more realistic representation."

"Good idea," Willow agreed.

So they performed their first test and immediately discovered that it was nearly impossible—and quite painful—for Willow to move away from Varhog after kissing his lips. Their second trial involved both of them attempting to move away at the same time, and the strange magnetism—which seemed to be activated by a kiss—abruptly dissolved after they painstakingly achieved a small distance of ten steps between themselves.

"We did it," Willow observed once Varhog had crawled over to her. "Though I'm not sure it was worth it." He pulled her onto his lap, his muscles clenching painfully as they attempted to recover from his effort of moving away from her.

"We would never do something like that in public," Varhog commented derisively. "I say we either don't kiss or let ourselves do what feels natural. No one will be offended forever. We might even start a new trend."

Willow laughed. "True. There's another possible course of action," she said. "Maybe we can try kissing then walking together to a different location. Far enough away to be alone. The magnetism seems to want to keep us together, so maybe movement would be easier if we stayed in close proximity and didn't try to force ourselves away. What do you think?"

"It's worth a try. That seems more feasible than what we just did. Especially if I could pick you up and run. No one would have any doubt what we were up to, but at least we wouldn't do it right in front of their very eyes. Let's put our hypothesis to the test," he said, repeating her words from earlier in the day and giving her a grin. "At least in this scenario we get to satisfy the infernal longing."

Varhog made as if to stand, but Willow said, "Let's remain sitting. There have been many times around the campfire when such affectionate expressions were shared, and it seems a likely scenario where we might forget."

Varhog nodded. "Can I carry you?"

"I don't see why not."

"How far should I go?" he asked.

Willow shrugged. "As far as you can, I guess. Far enough that you would realistically get us somewhere private."

Varhog closed his eyes and set his jaw. "Very well. I'm ready." He opened his eyes. "Are you?"

Willow nodded, and they brought their lips together, instantly feeling the overwhelming heat and electricity. Varhog tensed and easily arose with her in his arms, striding toward the door and jerking it open with one hand. The hinges creaked under his strength. He walked swiftly down the hall and did the same thing at the front door.

Once outside, Varhog ran, and Willow began feeling his chest as his body moved with his effort, his heart pounding more rapidly than his exertion required. A pleading whine escaped her lips and she clamped them shut, but it was too late. She slid her hands around his neck, once again pressing her lips against his. Varhog stumbled but managed to remain upright as he stopped and returned her kiss with impressive longing.

They couldn't even enjoy the moment or the time leading up to it. Once they gave in, their bodies demanded they join together as quickly as possible. Willow twisted her body around so she could wrap her legs around his waist, and Varhog fumbled with the clothing to get it out of the way. His instinct was to tear it, but he didn't want to ruin her dress, and that he had the presence of mind to think that surprised him. He wanted to slow down and enjoy her more—the sounds and smells and tastes—but once they were connected, the power of the sensation demanded his whole attention, except for the small part of his mind where he focused with fierce determination on controlling the strength of his body.

When relief finally found them, Varhog commented, "That seemed to work better, though I wish I could take more time to enjoy you. This kiss thing is a blessing and a curse. But we seem to be making progress, and we're still only in our first day together."

Willow laughed incredulously. "How many times have we done that now, Varhog? I'd say more than twenty-four, which means more than once every hour, but we were sleeping for so many of them. What are we? Some kind of beasts?"

"Most men would say I am, so that's fair enough," Varhog replied, kneeling down. "That amazing epic session this afternoon put us way ahead of the once every hour mark." He used his fingers to push some of the loose strands of her hair out of her face and eyes. "I just realized I forgot to brush your hair!"

"It's no matter," Willow dismissed. "It would have already been in need again. You can still do it later, but let's not return just yet. Being out here in this cool night air has invigorated me. Let's go somewhere. We still have so many possibilities to explore. On dragon back. In water. Let's do both right now. Can we go to the lake, or is it too cold?"

Varhog laughed at the barrage of her thoughts and questions. "With winter fast approaching this far north, it would be too cold. But I'll take you somewhere you'll like, and it won't be cold at all."

"Perfect. Can we fly on Sunset? We've never ridden her together, since she was always needed to carry Angela, but I'd like that."

"Aye, Eartheyes. It makes no difference to me. We'll most likely not be paying much attention to the dragon carrying us." Varhog grinned.

Willow smiled back and said, "Let's kiss some more while we wait. It will keep me warm."

In answer, Varhog did kiss her, and when Sunset arrived, they barely paused. Varhog played a series of images in Sunset's mind so she could carry them to their destination. Keeping Willow right where she was, Varhog climbed up into the saddle, grateful that their clothing would provide some measure of protection against the rush of cold night air.

They carried on in this manner as the dragon flew, reminiscent of earlier that day.

When they had been flying for nearly an hour, Willow's body could handle it no longer. Every possible outlet of release had been exhausted—tears, waves of ecstasy, tremors of her muscles, and sounds from her mouth—and she begged Varhog to stop, which he immediately did, holding her close to keep her warm while her body attempted to compose itself. He heard her heart pounding, felt her chest heaving and her muscles trembling.

Willow finally said, On only our second night together, you already had me begging for mercy. Another record.

Varhog was amazed by the tone of Willow's mind. He felt something similar, but hers was so heightened, it was almost unrecognizable, glowing with a bright light that made her seem holy, so majestic and pure was her joy.

Your mind is blinding right now, Willow, Varhog thought. It's blazing with a white light that would put the sun to shame.

That's how I feel, Varhog. You brought me to this place of heavenly brilliance. It may take me some time to come down.

She had snuggled against his chest, but Varhog wanted to see her face so he pulled back, and she tilted it up toward him, a glorious smile on her lips. Her eyes were shining more brightly than they ever had and her skin glowed with something of the light inside her. Willow radiated a beautiful, breathtaking aura. Varhog put his hands on either of her cheeks, thinking he would surely be able to absorb some of that light and brighten his own.

Varhog felt Sunset in his mind, using his eyes to see the face of her Rider. Then the dragon said, That was the most exquisitely sublime gift one person could give to another, Varhog and Willow. Your love is pure and powerful. Thank you for trusting me enough to share that on my back.

Willow snuggled back down next to Varhog's warm chest, and he felt how perfectly, transcendently happy she was in his arms on Sunset's back.

A/N: There is very brief mention of intimacy in the following chapter, but if you skip it, most of the rest of Part Two will be confusing.