28. Two and Treatment
At Varhog and Willow's hut, things were worse than ever. For three days, the silence and anguish between them became increasingly pronounced. Willow would try to speak to him, but if Varhog answered, the sound of his voice caused her such pain, she would sometimes vomit. As such, Varhog soon refused to speak to her, and though he knew Willow was grateful that it lessened her pain, he also guessed that it was devastating for her that his once beloved voice was now such a constant aggravation. It went without saying that it was agonizing for Varhog, who also had to stay farther and farther away from Willow. His new bed was the couch, but he could sometimes still hear her tossing about in the bedroom during the two hour stretch when her reaction was the strongest.
During the day, they flew together on their own dragons so they would be apart but doing the same thing. They stayed out all day, and Varhog learned from Sunset—who did her best to bridge the growing chasm between Willow and Varhog—that Willow was thankful for the comfort provided by her dragon's presence but also keenly aware of how incomplete it was compared to Varhog.
Varhog endured the enforced separation with increasing levels of despair. He couldn't bear to see how sick his presence was making Willow, but he knew she didn't want him to leave entirely.
A week after their marriage, while they sat silently outside, enjoying the last warmth of the autumn sun, Willow suddenly cried out in joy. She had been looking increasingly haggard and pale from the struggle of being in his presence, so this look on her face surprised Varhog. She scooted over to him—apparently unbothered by how near she was—and breathlessly exclaimed, "It's happening! And look! There are now two!"
Varhog was confused, but Willow grabbed his hand and placed it over her womb. He noticed that she didn't flinch at the touch, so full was her joy. He had missed seeing her joyful expressions. "Use your mind," she urged, adding, "Oh! It's so marvelous!"
Varhog did as suggested and reached with his mind toward her womb, recognizing not one but two bright specks of energy burrowing into her body. "Two?" he murmured in disbelief. "But how?"
"I hardly know!" Willow breathed in wonder. "At some point in the development it must have divided more completely than before, and each continued from that moment at the same pace. See how they're still together in the same sac? So it wasn't two separate eggs that were fertilized, but one egg that became two. We'll have twins, Varhog!"
Willow's excitement would have been contagious under normal circumstances, but Varhog couldn't share it. This was indeed surprising, but it worried him more than anything. Willow was getting worse every day, more drained by the hour from the effort required to remain in Varhog's presence. How could she sustain the demands of growing two babies while her body was enduring constant pain? But how could Varhog leave when Willow was now expecting his twins? He couldn't abandon them.
Willow seemed unaware of his anxiety, so pure was her bliss, so Varhog let her enjoy the moment without voicing any of his concerns, wishing this happy moment hadn't been ruined by her strange malady. But maybe she would now go see Arya, and hopefully they would learn something to help them understand what was happening.
Willow sat with her hands pressed over her womb, a distant look in her eyes, until the sun set and she began to shiver with cold. When they stood to go inside, her face paled, and she stumbled over to a bush, where she was violently sick. As this was not the first time Willow had vomited in the past week, Varhog knew her nausea was caused not by the new pregnancy, but by him simply being there, and he hated that.
They went inside, and Varhog quietly asked if Willow wanted to eat, but she shook her head, face pale and hands trembling. "I want to go to sleep," she said. "We'll go back to the village tomorrow. Is that acceptable?"
Varhog nodded as she went to the washroom and brushed her teeth before disappearing down the hall and into the bedroom. Varhog stayed out in the front room, knowing she slept more peacefully without him near. The contrast of that reality to the previous one was depressing. Willow had slept so peacefully in his arms the night before their wedding and the night of, but ever since then, they had dealt with an episode of her terrible pain and revulsion.
Since it was still quite early, Varhog wasn't at all tired, so he ate dinner by himself and made more bread. Then he sat on the sofa and alternated between conversing with Black Thunder and reading until he felt tired much later that evening. When he lay down, he fell asleep soon enough, but his body automatically awakened him a few minutes before Willow's inevitable transformation would occur, as it had the past two nights. Nothing eventful had happened then, but he still waited in tense anticipation as the minutes slowly passed, straining his ears toward the bedroom. He needn't have strained.
Willow's bloodcurdling scream filled the hut and echoed off the walls. Varhog leaped up and dashed to the bedroom. Sunset's howl of pain filled him with an even greater dread than the nearly paralyzing terror he already felt. He wasn't even in there! Why was it so much worse tonight?
Her piercing cry answered him. "The babies!" Willow wailed. Varhog was by her side almost as soon as the first scream died on her lips. She was sitting, but her face was contorted in pain, and she doubled over. He noticed an alarming stain of red spreading under her.
"Willow!" he cried. "What's happening?"
"There's no time!" she sobbed. "Take me to Arya!" Willow stood, nearly collapsing as another scream of pain left her throat. Varhog caught her, and she cringed at the burn of his touch, felt even through her dress, which she slept in for comfort. He grabbed the blanket, wrapping it around her and sweeping her into his arms. He strode out of the room and down the hall, leaving the front door open behind him in his haste.
Then Varhog started running as fast as he could without jostling Willow, arriving in the village only minutes later. He made his way to his mother's hut and kicked the door down, not wanting to shift Willow at all.
"Mother!" he bellowed. Myrintuk appeared within moments.
"Varhog!" she exclaimed in dismay at the look on his face. "What's wrong?"
"Where are Firesword and his mate?" Varhog curtly questioned. "Take me to them quickly. There's no time to explain."
Myrintuk immediately exited her hut, running in front of Varhog to a hut much like his and motioning toward it fearfully.
Varhog did the same thing with this door as Willow let out a shriek of pain then clamped her hand over her mouth. Myrintuk flinched at the sound.
Varhog headed straight into the house and to the bedroom. He pushed the door open by leaning against it, since it wasn't latched shut. Eragon was already sitting up in the bed, and Varhog guessed he had heard the boom of the door and Willow's shriek. Arya now sat as well, holding the blankets up to cover her nakedness.
"Whatever is the matter?" she cried as she recognized the two in front of her and the look on Varhog's face. Willow moaned in pain.
In clipped tones Varhog answered, "Willow's in trouble. Please, Arya. Help her."
"No! Not me!" Willow gasped in frantic desperation. "The babies! They're dying! Arya, please!"
-:-:-
At the word 'babies,' something clicked in Arya. "Eragon, find me something to wear," she demanded. "The closest thing you can reach." Eragon still looked stunned. "Hurry!" Arya hissed.
Eragon grabbed his shirt, which was right next to the bed on the floor, since Arya's clothes were farther away. He handed it to her, and she pulled it on over her head before leaving the bed. The shirt fell to the middle of her thighs.
"Tell me what's happening as quickly as you can," Arya instructed Varhog. He stared at her blankly as Willow convulsed in his arms. "Varhog, I can't help her unless I know what's going on. Use your mind."
Varhog replayed many images for Arya from the past week, starting with the moment of his near-abandonment, Willow's shock and devastation, the strange phenomenon of how she seemed to change at the same time every night, her growing pain at being in his presence, and all the symptoms she had shared with him. It only took a few seconds.
As he finished, Willow screamed, "NO! They're dying! My babies. It's like my body doesn't want them and is rejecting them, but I want them so badly! Why is this happening?"
In a voice of terrible agony Varhog said, "Because part of them is from me."
Arya's eyes filled with tears. She used her mind to reach Willow's womb and saw the great struggle Willow described. "Set her down," she commanded. "You're not far off, Varhog, though it's not what you think. Willow has developed a strong repulsion to you because of the combined events of your first night together. I can cure it quickly."
Varhog shuddered at the clinical confirmation of what Arya suspected was his deepest fear. "Her revulsion has been growing by the day. She can barely stand to be in my presence."
"Repulsion," Arya corrected. "I didn't say revulsion, though that's what you and she both thought. I'll explain in a moment, but I need to attend to this immediately if the babies are to have a chance."
Arya removed the blanket from around Willow and saw the blood. "Eragon, get something for this blood. A cloth or rag from the kitchen or washroom." Eragon had put his pants on during the exchange and was standing anxiously by the bed, obviously wishing that he better understood what was happening. But he seemed grateful to have an assignment and immediately left the room, returning only a few moments later. Arya knelt on the bed behind Willow, whom Varhog had carefully set down. Willow curled over as if trying to protect the babies in her womb.
Arya moved Willow's hair off her back and began tapping the thumb and forefinger of one hand down the whole length of her spine, holding her fingers slightly spread so the pressure from her fingers landed on either side of Willow's back bone. She did this repeatedly for several minutes with an intense look of concentration on her face, but she spoke no words.
Then Arya moved in front of Willow and began applying light pressure in small, circular motions on various parts of her body. She started at Willow's big toe and moved in a line along her foot then up her leg, making a small deviation from the straight line she had followed a few inches up Willow's ankle. She lifted the skirt of Willow's dress so her leg would be exposed and continued her motions with practiced determination, very sure of every placement of her fingers.
When her movements were blocked by Willow, Arya swiftly unlaced the front of the dress so it would fall all the way open and pulled it off Willow's shoulders.
"Give me the rags, Eragon," Arya muttered. He handed them to her, and she pushed one between Willow's legs as a fresh gush of blood flowed out. "Lie down, Willow," Arya gently invited, noticing at the same time that Willow seemed unashamed to be so exposed in front of Eragon. She was grateful Willow had such an open nature, and she knew Eragon's only thoughts were of concern for Willow's wellbeing.
Willow did as asked. "I'm already feeling slightly better," she breathed in amazement. "Are you using magic?"
"No," Arya replied. "I'll explain in a moment. Let me concentrate." She had continued her circular, massaging motions, moving Willow's dress away from her hip to apply pressure in a few spots close together. Then she followed her invisible trail to the area right over Willow's womb and spent a great deal of time here, massaging gently but insistently and willing her efforts to be effective. She held her other hand over Willow's heart without touching her, circling it counterclockwise a few times.
Arya then continued her small, circular motions in a short line toward Willow's navel, veering off toward one side of Willow's body and curving up after touching down once more. To the onlookers, Arya knew her path would have no discernable pattern, but she was as sure as ever of what she was doing. She circled around Willow's chest with one hand, applying the same light massaging pressure at a few locations as if following a small side trail. With the other hand—the one she had been working with the whole time—she continued in a path up Willow's neck then over to her eye. The assisting hand again deviated from the main trail and worked down Willow's cheek toward her chin and around her lips. Then Arya was done with that treatment.
Willow was noticeably improved. Her breathing was even, and she no longer convulsed every few minutes. Arya looked at her kindly. "Any better?"
Willow nodded wordlessly, the same astonishment still in her eyes. Arya then said, "Turn onto your stomach so I can reach your back again. Varhog, come over here and take her hand."
At Arya's request, Varhog approached from his position by the wall, where he had withdrawn after setting Willow down. But he now hesitated, whispering, "It causes her pain when I touch her, especially at this time of night."
"It shouldn't as much anymore," Arya encouraged. "Have you two made love recently?"
"We can't," Varhog said, shuddering.
Arya nodded, unsurprised. "Then we'll attend to that later. Take her hand," she said again. Varhog knelt by the side of the bed near Willow's head and reluctantly obeyed, but Willow didn't recoil.
Arya began the same, strange tapping pressure she had done at first and started explaining, less anxious than before. "This area of medicine takes years and years to study and understand. I have learned of it for decades and mastered the understanding and application. Now I need to try to summarize it in about ten minutes, because then you will have to leave for a time, Varhog. It's simply the study of energy in our bodies and has nothing to do with magic, just logic and observation. Our health is determined to a large extent by the flow—or blockage thereof—of energy through our bodies. The anatomy and physiology of humans, elves, Urgals, and dwarves is largely the same, so when I say body, what I say applies equally to all of us in this room.
"The energy in our bodies flows through a series of channels or pathways, if you will. They are not visible to the eye, but they're perceptible to the careful student. There are twelve of these pathways, and they flow one into the other to encompass the entire body. Each pathway involves a major organ, and the flow of energy takes two hours to work its way through each channel. So the flow of energy through our bodies repeats every twenty-four hours. The energy begins its course in the lung channel at about three in the morning, completing that cycle by about five in the morning. Then it flows in order through the other major organs, finishing in the liver from about one to three in the morning. Does that time frame sound familiar?" she asked Varhog.
Varhog nodded mutely, obviously not following Arya thus far. She continued, "When the energy flows unblocked through all of these channels one after the other, our bodies will be in balance and we will enjoy vibrant health. But if the energy gets blocked, it will lead to any number of unpleasant symptoms, usually manifesting more mildly initially and growing in intensity to lead to full-blown illness if left unchecked.
"Innumerable aggravators can cause blockages in the energy flow—injury, stress, powerful emotions, poor eating, lack of sleep, exposure to substances the brain interprets as harmful, and so many more. The list is endless. Most people refer to these types of blockages as allergies, though they don't realize how encompassing that term can really be. This they do because the particular substance that caused the blockage created a physical manifestation that was easy to observe, such as swelling, hives, blisters, wheezing, and so forth. What it all comes down to, however, is that the energy of the person with the illness repels the energy of the substance that causes their illness.
"All things, inanimate and living, have an electromagnetic—or energetic—field around them. Stones, dirt, the rays of the sun, even thoughts and emotions, and obviously plants and animals. For the most part, people move in harmony with all of the energy fields around them, and their own energy attracts it, which allows for a peaceful coexistence. However, there are situations where our brains might interpret certain stimuli in a negative way and create the beginnings of an energy repulsion, like when the same charged pole of two magnets is forced together, but the natural reaction is for them to move away.
"As I said, the list is endless as to what one could have an energy repulsion to, as well as how it might begin or manifest. For our purposes, quite simply, the powerful negative emotional experience Willow had after you first made love confused her brain. She was feeling intense joy, though she was in pain from your accidental injury and all of a sudden, without any cause her brain could identify, she felt devastating shock and despair.
"Her brain fired all cylinders in its attempt to make sense of the dizzying play of emotions and the literal pain it caused her, wanting to identify what was responsible for her pain so it could prepare defenses in case of a future exposure. It made a connection between several unrelated things that had all happened around the same time—the figurative burning of her passion and the literal heat of your exchange, the emotional pain of your near-abandonment, and the physical presence of your semen within her body—and her brain drew a mistaken conclusion. As the culprit for Willow's pain, her brain settled on the one major difference it could identify in her. You, Varhog. Your smell, your taste, the sound of your voice, the feel of your skin, and above all, your semen.
"That—your semen—was the most tangible physical difference in Willow at the moment of her distress. The other things—your smell and voice and all the other sensory stimuli—were fresh and recent memories, and while familiar to her, were also completely different in the way she had just experienced them. They made an indelible impression on her, one her mind couldn't ignore. So with what information it was able to gather, her brain drew the false conclusion that your physical, sensory effects were the source of her emotional agony, and it categorized everything about you, especially your semen, as a dire threat to Willow. The simplest way to put it is that her brain made her allergic to you, and the most serious allergen was your semen, which her brain connected with the burning sensations and heat right before it appeared, as well as the negative emotions just after.
"And this experience and her brain's conclusion all happened during the two hour stretch when her liver energy pathway was active, so that's where the most powerful energy blockage occurred. The new energy impulse—that you were a threat—made its way through all twelve energy pathways over the next twenty-four hours, informing them all of the new and potent danger to Willow's health. By the time the cycle was complete the following night, the damage was done. Her brain forced her body to react in certain ways to try to get her away from what it perceived as grave danger, reminding her of the shock and pain of the first night."
Varhog looked stricken, and Arya reassured, "I know it sounds bad, but I'm only trying to explain why it happened. Already her body is receiving a different message, and her brain is now processing that. Our brains are magnificent and powerful, capable of so much more than we ever think possible. They have countless stimuli to process at every second of every day, along with the countless bodily functions they command and direct, whether conscious or unconscious. When something powerfully emotional like this happens, with so much sensory stimulation at the same time, sometimes it's too much for our brain to objectively sort out and it draws an erroneous conclusion."
The men both looked confused, so Arya tried a different angle. "Have you ever had the experience of eating a certain food while in a heightened and negative emotional state, and then at some future point eaten that same food to find it caused some type of negative physical reaction, such as a headache, nausea, swelling, or itching?" They both nodded.
Arya continued, "Most people then declare they are allergic to said food, which is true in a way but not for the reason they think. The food itself didn't cause the physical reaction. It was the fact that at some previous time, the brain connected the eating of that particular food to the powerful emotion they were experiencing at the time—a completely unrelated thing—but something the brain observed and recorded. As subconscious as it is, most people never even consciously remember the negative emotion they felt while eating the food, but the brain remembers.
"The unpleasant physical manifestation is simply the brain's reminder to you of the earlier negative emotion when you are exposed to the same stimulus by eating that food again. The brain erroneously thinks one caused the other and that you should be warned because of the negative emotion's potential threat to your health. It mistakenly connects the two—the action and the emotion—and reminds you with a physical manifestation of the emotion every time the food is presented. It's an amazing system—but not always infallible—that our brain has developed to keep us safe from the many threats to our health.
"But the brain is malleable and can learn a different way. It's not much different from learning that some type of knowledge you always thought true is actually false and accepting the new information as truth from then on. What I have been doing is creating a different message for Willow's brain to accept when it comes to you, Varhog.
"All of the energy pathways intersect the spine at some point. When I tapped down her spine, it created a light pressure that reverberated along each energy pathway, beginning to clear any obstructions. But since the blockage was most complete and serious in her liver pathway, I followed that trail, starting in her big toe and from there along its entire meandering length to clear the whole pathway at its major pressure points.
"I had you hold her hand this last time I've tapped her spine so I can clear the energy pathways while she is in direct contact with what her body perceives as a threat. When I clear the pathways in the presence of the allergen, it is essentially sending a new message to her brain that this so-called threat is actually safe and benign, and that new energy impulse will gradually make its way through each of the twelve channels until it comes back to her liver pathway." Arya had stopped the tapping motions and resumed the circular pressure at the points of the liver pathway, instructing Varhog to continue holding Willow's hand.
Eragon asked, "What were you doing when you swirled your hand over her heart while massaging over her womb?"
Arya looked at him and said, "I swirled my hand counterclockwise to move energy out of the reproductive organs and into the heart center. There are seven main energy stores or centers in the body, and Willow's reproductive store was overloaded." She then returned her focus to Varhog.
"I'm glad you came when you did, though if you had come earlier, these last several days might not have been so hard. When left unchecked, energy incompatibilities as strong as these lead to serious disease, which I'm sure is not hard for you to imagine, given how Willow's health has deteriorated these last few days. You would have never been able to make love again because her reaction to your semen would have only gotten worse and worse. That alone would have been devastating enough, but if you attempted to stay together, Willow would have only gotten sicker. Had you been able to make love and she then conceived, she never would have been able to carry a child to full term. Her body would have always rejected the part of the child from you. Many a broken marriage or lost pregnancy has been the result on some level of an energy repulsion or incompatibility.
"I know it's sometimes hard for people to accept that they could be allergic to another person, but it is not so different from a person being allergic to any living being or any nonliving thing—a cat, a bee, grass or pollen, you get the point. All of these things, even emotions and thoughts, have an energy frequency that might for some inexplicable reason be incompatible with our own energy field, when it does not create the same reaction in other individuals. It's why some people are deathly allergic to fish, though other people can eat it every day. It all comes down to energy and whether our brain accepts or rejects it. Thankfully, it's a relatively simple matter to reverse. But unfortunately, very few people have this knowledge.
"The reaction Willow had to you took place on every level that such a thing can occur: physically—meaning perceivable on the surface or by the senses; chemically or physiologically—meaning affecting the function of the organs; and emotionally, which is obvious enough. All of the symptoms you described fit perfectly with a serious physical, chemical, and emotional blockage in the liver energy pathway. Her physical symptoms were headaches, vertigo, fevers, blurred vision, spasms in the extremities, and the feeling of obstruction in the throat. Physiologically, her symptoms were pain in the chest and abdomen, inability to urinate or relieve oneself, and dizziness, among others she might not have recognized. This attempt at a miscarriage would probably also fit there. Emotional symptoms were aggression, anger and rage, moodiness, and crying at everything. And the reason the most intense episode always happened when you observed, from about one to three in the morning, is because that was when her energy was passing through the liver channel, where the most serious blockage was.
"The liver pathway passes right through the reproductive organs and that was the very site of the most tangible difference in Willow—both emotionally and physically—when the blockage was first created. Her reproductive organs had experienced for the very first time the powerful sensations that culminate in a sexual climax, and they were also the location of your semen when you almost left." Varhog's expression of anguish was heart-wrenching.
"Do not despair, Varhog," Arya counseled. "You don't need to continue to feel guilty about this. You have apologized most admirably, and Willow has accepted. Were it not for her brain's mistaken interpretation of the situation, none of this would have happened. And it will be as if it didn't—except for any memory you choose to retain of it—once Willow's body has had time to process this new energy impulse, the one where her brain no longer perceives you as a danger.
"But for this treatment to be effective, she must not be exposed to you through any of her senses for the next twenty-four or so hours. This will give the new energy impulse the opportunity to travel unhindered by exposure to you through each of her energy pathways, all the way back to the liver channel and completely through its loop. Her body will then accept it as the correct way of interpreting you. If an exposure to the allergen happens at any time during the twenty-four hours following a treatment, the brain automatically calls on its defense mechanisms and the treatment is lost, since the body hasn't had time to fully receive and process the new message through all twelve pathways. You need to leave, Varhog. That is why I have tried to explain swiftly and briefly.
"This area of medicine is, as I said, extremely complex and comprehensive, involving every system of the body, the muscles, the brain, the understanding of energy and how to clear energy pathways through various methods. Some practitioners even use very fine needles at the site of blockage to create a literal opening for the blocked energy to flow out of. The pressure I've applied works in the same way. I think we'll also need to do another treatment after this one is complete, with Willow in contact with your semen, to be very sure her allergy is cleared, since that is the most powerful aggravator. But it will have to happen after this initial treatment. Is there anything else you wish for me to explain before you go?"
-:-:-
Varhog had stonily listened to the whole explanation. He knew he should do as Arya instructed and not feel guilty, but he couldn't see it any other way than that all of this was all his fault, totally and completely. He was grateful for the understanding and more grateful Willow would be fine, but he felt he should be expected to leave, as some type of punishment for his wrongs. He curtly shook his head to answer Arya's question and stood to leave, dropping Willow's hand.
She reached for him imploringly. All the time Arya had been speaking, she had been looking at him with relief in her eyes as her understanding of the situation increased by the moment. Varhog had seen her silent message of love and acceptance, no longer tainted by an uncontrolled reaction, and it had been a salve to his wounded soul, but he felt this penance was his due.
Willow said, "Can't I hug him goodbye or touch him one last time?"
"No, Willow," Arya gently denied. "He must leave at once. Even being able to see or hear him is enough, so severe was your reaction. Varhog, you may return in the early hours of tomorrow morning after three o'clock."
As Varhog started moving toward the door, Willow whispered, "Goodbye, sweetheart. Come back to me."
When he didn't look at her or acknowledge her words in any way while continuing out the door, Willow must have felt frightened, thinking he might not mean to come back, for she cried, "Stop!" The panic in her voice got his attention, and Varhog stopped with his back to them. "Come back to me!" Willow desperately demanded. "When you can!"
Varhog nodded once before striding swiftly toward the front door and breaking into a run as he reached it. His low, agonized howl followed him out into the night.