32. Bittersweet

Murtagh and Nasuada left Myrintuk's hut hand in hand. They had remained while Arya answered all of the many questions, some of which they had asked themselves. When Arya left, weary of the endless barrage, the couple followed her.

They were silent for some time, wandering among the huts and into the trees surrounding the village, each mulling over the events they had just been informed of.

Nasuada was the first to speak. "That was, ah, interesting, to say the least. How awful to have to endure such things just after coming together. I always thought what we went through was bad enough."

"It was, my dear," Murtagh said. "I did unspeakable things to you. That you don't hate me is a great miracle. It's extraordinary what forgiveness can do."

"Yes, but Willow did forgive him and this strange situation still followed."

"True. It's interesting to consider the capabilities of the brain and how—ingenious as it is—it can still mistakenly draw such a conclusion and create such a reaction. I'm glad it wasn't our trial. They're strong to have weathered it as they did. And now with a happy result to anticipate." Murtagh looked at her with a twinkle in his eye, which Nasuada noticed.

"Yes," she said, wondering why he was giving her that look. "Two babies. What a delightful prospect."

"Would you like to hear something exciting?" Murtagh asked, clearly attempting to be casual, though he couldn't completely contain his feelings.

"But of course, Murtagh," Nasuada said in confusion.

"I've debated whether to share this with you before you could discover it on your own," Murtagh began, "since it might seem unfair to you that I can observe it with my abilities as a Dragon Rider. But I can no longer wait, so you may have to forgive me yet again. You are with child, Nasuada. You too will be a mother."

Nasuada stared at him with wide eyes for a moment before throwing her arms around him. "Is it truly so?" she breathed, pulling back to look up at him. "You must have seen it with your mind, like the others have." He nodded. "Well, how long have I been?" she demanded. "Is it just one?"

"Yes, just one, and it happened not long after our wedding. But you'll have to consult with Arya for the exact understanding, since I do not possess that knowledge. Are you happy, my dear?"

"Happy?" Nasuada cried. She hugged him again, pulled back to kiss him, and then resumed her embrace. "Yes, Murtagh. I'm overjoyed! I've wanted to be a mother for a long time and wondered if I would ever have the opportunity as high queen. I have considered many times whether a political union might not be necessary for the kingdom, but to have the blessing of being with the man I love and now of being able to be the mother of his children is more than I ever hoped. Thank you for sharing this with me now and for giving me this gift." She fell silent and kept her face pressed into his neck, trembling slightly in her effort to control her emotions.

-:-:-

Murtagh also felt emotional. He stroked her long, amazing hair with one hand, holding her tightly with his other arm. How did he have such a blessing in his life? For so long he had been consumed by rage, bitterness, and hate, which had been a canker to his soul, darkening him and creating a terrible desire for vengeance and violence. To have Nasuada was more than he would ever feel worthy of, especially after all he had done to her. To make her a mother and become a father himself was overwhelming.

Murtagh felt a certain dread at the prospect, since his own father had been so awful. He hoped hostile tendencies in fathers could not be inherited. But he decided he wouldn't despair. If there was one thing he was irrevocably learning, it was the power of love and forgiveness to overcome anything. Tornac had been more a father to him than Morzan, and he owed his foster father for the man he was today.

Murtagh made a resolve right then to be like Tornac was as a father and to put all thoughts of Morzan from his mind. His choices determined the man he was, not his inheritance. And he would always be the husband Nasuada deserved and the father their children deserved. He whispered to her, "Thank you, Nasuada, for the great gift you have given me, even yourself and this future with you."

He kissed the top of her head then her lips when she raised her face to him, smiling affectionately as he drew back. But before she could see the look of pain that filled his eyes, he pressed her face into his chest and resumed stroking her hair. His joy was bittersweet, and the fullness in his eyes increased until tears rolled down his face as he remembered yet again—like he did at least once every day—that he would one day lose Nasuada. Sooner than it would seem possible, she and their children would pass away and leave him to endure endless centuries as a lonely Rider, with only his memories of them to keep him company.

-:-:-

After a few moments, Nasuada began to feel the wetness of his tears on her hair. She pulled back and looked up at him, placing a hand on his cheek in a gesture of comfort. He smiled at her sadly. "These do not look like tears of happiness, Murtagh."

Murtagh shook his head. "No, but I don't want to ruin the joy of this moment by dwelling on the oft-visited topic of your mortality."

Nasuada understood. It wasn't that she necessarily regretted being mortal, she simply knew her death would be a terrible devastation to Murtagh, since he would have to remain behind without her. She would feel the same, were their roles reversed. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "We'll make our time together the happiest anyone could ever imagine," she said, which were words she repeated in some form on a regular basis. "You'll never reflect back with regret."

"No," he solemnly agreed. "Never that. I only regret that I'll lose you and that I already lost so much time with you in my stubborn delay of our marriage. I'll never regret my life with you, Nasuada. I only wish it didn't have to end like it will. If there were only a way to make us the same, either I mortal or you immortal."

Nasuada nodded. An eternity with him wouldn't be so bad, though it otherwise held no interest for her. "If there is, we'll discover it," she said firmly with her characteristic courage and determination. He kissed her forehead.

She then changed topics. "What shall we do after Myrin's baby is born? I had thought we would return to Ilirea for a time, though I know you wish to meet Roran. I feel I'll soon be needed. But perhaps Carvahall is where I would be most useful right now, since the Urgal uprisings are one of my top concerns."

"I would be happy to do anything you wish, Nasuada. We can return to Ilirea or briefly visit Carvahall. I'm not the high queen, and I would never pretend to have your wisdom and understanding of what it takes to rule a country. I do want to meet my cousin but not as much as I want your happiness and peace of mind."

Nasuada smiled. "Then perhaps a brief visit to Carvahall is in order. I worry that so many dragons will be so close to Anghelm, but I feel like Eragon. It's hard to imagine that one Urgal—no matter how tall and strong—would be able to overcome five powerful Dragon Riders and their dragons."

Murtagh nodded. "Now that we know what to expect as far as Willow and Varhog are concerned, I suppose we need only wait until the baby is born."

"Yes, and the women have been saying that Myrin will give birth any time now, since the signs that her labor is imminent have been increasing every hour."

"What you said a moment ago about feeling like you'll soon be needed back in Ilirea reminded me of something," Murtagh said, changing the subject again.

Nasuada asked, "And what is that?"

"In years past," Murtagh began, "you occasionally expressed concern that if we were ever to enter into a more serious relationship, it might create some negative political repercussions, given my unfortunate association with Galbatorix during the war. Though we've only been married just under two weeks, and many parts of the kingdom might not have even received the news, I was wondering if you have had any inkling that we might face some opposition in that regard."

Nasuada considered his words thoughtfully then replied, "There's always a chance, but I do not think we have much to fear. You must remember, Murtagh, that you have been one of the most visible Riders in Alagaёsia this past decade. Eragon never returned before now, and as much good as he did during the war, he became something of a legend when he disappeared so soon after. People often wondered how much of it was actually real, especially since they never saw him again. But you were here every year, starting with the Human Choosing Ceremony where Willow became a Rider. And though you did some terrible things as Galbatorix's pawn, and people have a tendency to remember the negative longer than the positive, all they have seen you doing for years since then is good. Your days of infamy," she smiled playfully, "were so short-lived in comparison."

"That's heartening," Murtagh commented.

Nasuada nodded. "Indeed. My most significant concern had to do with how the dwarves felt toward you, thought that technically shouldn't have mattered since they have a sovereign ruler. But when you miraculously made peace even with them, and only ten years later, it effectively solved that dilemma."

"Yet another instance where forgiveness has been responsible for a completely unexpected outcome," Murtagh seriously observed.

"Another thing to keep in mind," Nasuada continued, "is that ever since that same year you came to oversee the first Human Choosing Ceremony, I have made every effort to publicize the truth of your involvement with Galbatorix. Very few people knew that you were in his service under coercion, especially since your father was Morzan. Most people assumed you had simply followed in your father's footsteps."

Murtagh's face tightened. "Which is exactly what Galbatorix wanted people to believe," he remarked bitterly. "Everything, all the way down to my red dragon, seemed to suggest that natural progression." He exhaled sourly then took a deep breath to get his anger under control, turning to look at Nasuada with a grateful smile. "Thank you for contending that mistaken perception, my dear. You knew better than anyone how much I hated what Galbatorix forced me to do. And you are the reason I was able to defy him at the last moment. Coming to love you more than my own good-for-nothing self fundamentally changed me enough to destroy his hold on me."

"So you have told me," Nasuada murmured, smiling faintly. "I'm glad I could help." She paused before adding, "As leader of the Varden, I was responsible for the deaths of many more people during the war than you were, Murtagh. You and Thorn were to blame for some loss of life, but your most memorable feats were of intimidation and destruction, since your main job was to thwart Eragon and Saphira without ever harming them. And in spite of that regrettable role as a military leader, the people have still come to accept me as their queen. I feel quite confident they will likewise accept you as the prince."

"I certainly hope so," Murtagh said. "I would hate to make your already difficult political responsibilities that much more demanding—though you've always loved a challenge."

"Yes. And I welcome whatever challenges might arise from our marriage, Murtagh. I want to be with you. Sometimes we monarch types forget or ignore our personal desires in our duty to serve our people. Arya would likely agree, but I can't see how a happier queen will make anything worse."

Murtagh's good humor resurfaced, and he grinned roguishly. "We were awakened quite early this morning. Shall we return and resume our . . . rest?" He surprised her by sweeping her into his arms and walking with her in the direction of their hut.

Nasuada smiled in return and airily said, "No, my dear. I do not want to rest but celebrate. We're still on our honeymoon, after all, and no other human couple can say they have honeymooned in an Urgal village, where all night one can hear passionate sounds of lovemaking all around them." She laughed lightly as he once again assumed a slightly scandalized expression, though she knew he did it mainly for her gratification. "It makes me feel rather uninhibited myself, knowing I'll never be physically capable of producing such deep and terrifying noises as we have observed."

"For which I'll always be eternally grateful, dear," Murtagh dryly stated, "both at the lack of inhibition and that you can't make sounds such as those." Nasuada nodded her agreement, planting a firm kiss on his lips. Murtagh reciprocated, and she pulled back with a sly grin before he could repeat the gesture.

Since they were still a short distance from their hut, she said, "And I will always be eternally grateful we honeymooned here for a different reason." Murtagh raised his eyebrows questioningly. "Now you know how to properly pleasure your wife, which has made things all the more interesting."

Murtagh laughed. "I too am grateful for that knowledge. And in spite of your concerns to the contrary, you actually have come quite close to producing some of the noises we have overheard. I'm proud of you, Your Majesty."

"Why thank you, Your Highness."

"Your Highness," Murtagh thoughtfully repeated, his expression of exaggerated innocence revealing his jest. "I quite like the sound of it. Too bad I won't get my way because of my title."

Nasuada shook her head apologetically, and Murtagh laughed. He reached their hut and entered, not having to duck as he did through so many other doorways since it was tall enough for an Urgal. They ate then retired to their bedroom, but not for the purposes of retiring. As Nasuada had suggested, they celebrated their happiness that they would be parents by sharing their love in the very way that had created the new life in the first place.

-:-:-:-