34. Return
When everyone returned from hearing stories in the village square, Willow tried to sleep. She was successful at first, but she awakened as her mind continued to anticipate Varhog's return. She was now pacing the floor in the front room of Eragon and Arya's hut, expecting Varhog to search for her there. Eragon and Arya were in their bedroom, sleeping, Willow supposed, unless they were very quietly doing something else. She went to the window and peered out again.
All she could see was blackness. The stars and moon were veiled by the thick clouds rolling in to threaten of the first winter storm. Willow sighed. Varhog could come back after three in the morning. She didn't know exactly what time it was, but she knew it was past midnight. Did she really have several more hours to wait?
Willow returned to her temporary bed on the sofa, lying down with the intention of trying to sleep again. But before she had even finished shifting to get comfortable, she sprang back up and began pacing again, taking her path into the kitchen as well. To distract herself, she thought of the beautiful legend Nar Garzhvog had shared that night in the village square. Willow wondered how much of it had actually transpired and how much was just a legend. Whether it was true or not, the story contained several uncanny similarities to her relationship with Varhog.
Willow made a noise of frustration at the thought of Varhog and that she had to keep waiting to see him again. But as time passed, she paid close attention to herself to see if she could identify the strange shift that had possessed her each of the six previous nights. Nothing happened. Maybe I really am cured, she hopefully thought. Then she felt with her mind toward her womb, where the babies were nestled close together in the rich lining, safe now that the threat of being thrust from their nesting place had passed.
Willow realized she was hungry since she had been awake so many hours, so she ate some of the leftover stew Arya had made for dinner, which was hearty and delicious—full of beans, grains, and vegetables. She wondered if she would be able to do as the Urgals and consume the tree of life, the organ born after her babies. She hadn't eaten animal flesh in over six years, and she never missed it, so the thought of copying the unusual practice, at least in her mind, made her slightly apprehensive.
But Myrin had assured her that this was completely different, for the organ was not obtained by taking a life but by creating one. In consuming it, a woman obtained greater health and vitality and brought harm to none. Willow supposed she would at least try it since it did, in truth, seem a logical thing to do. After all, most other mammals did, even those that only ate plants.
Willow stopped at the window again. Knowing she would never be able to remain calm and still in the hut, she grabbed the blanket off the sofa and wrapped it around her shoulders. Then she let herself out through the door and stood in the front yard of the hut, staring blindly into the night. She knew Varhog would be able to see her with his yellow eyes, so she waited still as a statue, despite the desire of her body to shiver with cold.
Willow was somehow able to clear her mind, though she didn't meditate and expand her awareness to the abundance of life around her. She simply thought about the blackness before her eyes and tried to fill her mind with the same color. Through this effort, Willow entered a trance of sorts—aware and unaware of everything around her—and was finally able to wait patiently for Varhog's return.
-:-:-
After many long hours of flying on Black Thunder, Varhog was finally able to forgive himself. As his dragon predicted, Varhog then felt peaceful and was anxious to be reunited with Willow. They did not near his village until well after nightfall, but Varhog didn't want to arrive too early and risk interfering with Willow's treatment, so he asked Black Thunder to land several miles away so he could walk the rest of the way home. The night was still and calm in anticipation of the coming storm, which added to Varhog's internal harmony.
When he arrived at Eragon and Arya's, Sunset was curled up behind the hut. Varhog communicated with Willow's dragon and learned that Willow was awake inside, restless as she awaited his return.
Varhog knew one o'clock had passed, for his body was acutely attuned to the time Willow's terrible transformation began each of the previous nights. He waited until he knew the two hour window was nearly over before heading around toward the entrance of the hut, pausing as he heard the door open and close.
From his vantage point beside the house, Varhog watched Willow walk out into the yard with a blanket wrapped tightly around her body. He knew she wasn't using her mind to study her environment, nor did he use his, for he didn't want to alert her to his presence. Willow held very still, and Varhog guessed she was cold. Knowing he could now help her, Varhog silently approached.
Varhog stopped directly behind Willow. She seemed not to be aware of him, and he slowly reached out his hand, still worried he might hurt her. But at his touch, Willow melted from her stony posture, spun, and threw her arms around him. "Varhog," she breathed.
"Willow. I have come back to you."
Willow said nothing more, though he could sense her smile and feel her tears on his chest through the laces of his shirt. Varhog held her tightly, having missed feeling her so much that he could barely breathe. And not just the last day, but all the days before, when he had been with her but necessarily remained so distant. It was the first time in over seven years that Varhog had gone so long without even speaking to Willow as a friend, and it had been torturous.
"How are you, Eartheyes?" Varhog tenderly asked. "And the babies? Are they safe?"
Willow sobbed softly as she drew her head back, but the tears were of joy. "I missed you so much, sweetheart. Not just yesterday, but all the days I couldn't even hug you," she said, echoing his thoughts. "I'm well. Remarkably improved. I feel no pain in your arms, only joy and warmth. Your voice is healing my broken heart as only it can. The babies? They're wonderful. They're safe." She stretched up to kiss him at the same moment he bent down to do the same. And it was as it had been before, not burning and insistent but affectionate and comforting. He gently wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs, but more followed. She smiled through them. "I love you, Varhog. Thank you for coming back to me."
"I pray I need never leave you again, Willow. At Black Thunder's insistence, I have finally been able to find forgiveness from myself for what I did to you, and I'm ready to move forward now." Seeing that she was tired, he added, "Let me hold you tonight and keep you warm."
Willow nodded gratefully, so he swept her up and carried her into the hut, where he reclined on the couch with Willow in his arms. She snuggled into him, promptly falling asleep, and Varhog immediately followed.