(AN) I am seriously sorry for the update delay, I have not had any time at all to write. I hope you enjoy this chapter though, and I will try my best to make time in the future for writing!
"...What are you talking about?" The Doctor said calmly. Too calmly, Rose recognised. The calm before the oncoming storm.
"This universe," Rose said,"Isn't real." It was easier to say it the second time, because she knew that the Doctor had already gotten the information. Confirming the truth in her prior words couldn't cause him any more pain.
Or so she thought. She could see something bubbling beneath his skin, something unidentifiable. Anger? Confusion? Hurt? But he made no move, displayed no reaction that indicated any of these emotions. Instead, he just stared at her wordlessly, the silence between them hitting her much more strongly than any words he could possibly say.
"...Explain," the Doctor finally stated, rather flatly.
"When..." Rose gestured around her, not quite sure how to begin. "...this, all began, it was through a particular process. You...thought you saw something on my back, right?"
Rose saw something flash in the Doctor's eyes, and then he spoke. "Yes, I did."
Rose contemplated trying to explain what exactly had happened briefly, but then she just reached her hand out to him. "Come here," she said softly.
He took her hand in his, and she was surprised by how tentative he was. How lightly he gripped her fingers. It was like he was a small child, shy and unsure, and she was leading him for once.
Rose walked to another set of swinging doors on the other end of the room, the Doctor hesitantly trailing behind her. She pushed it open, and then groped in the dark along the wall, flicking on a light switch.
The lights flickered on slowly. This room was outfitted in a similar way to the one they had last been in, but dimmer, the lights more mellowed than its predecessor. Also, a table now stood in the center of said room, two large round lamps flickering above it. A small keyboard was levered at the end of the table, alongside a squarish mirror, angled towards the table.
Rose released the Doctor's hand, approaching the table, and clambering on top, lying down on its smooth surface, her back oriented at the ceiling.
"What are you doing?" The Doctor asked, clearly confused.
"Showing you something," said Rose. She extended her arm towards the keyboard, hitting a large red button in the lower right-hand corner. A dim buzzing noise emanated from some unknown location, and after a few seconds, the lamps above the table started flickering at a quicker rate. Rose couldn't see the Doctor's face from where she lay, but in the mirror she could see the instrument she now lay on doing it's job. As the flickering of the lights increased in speed and intensity, a fuzzy shape slowly started to become discernible on her back. It was translucent at first, but it became slowly more and more opaque, more real with every second. It was faint at first, but before Rose knew it, a guttural rattling sound filled the air. In this moment, she shut her eyes, burying her face in her folded arms. She had gone through this experience all too many times, and she had no need to witness it again. But even though she shielded her eyes, and blocked her ears, she could still feel IT, clawing into her back, clenching its spiked legs around her ribs, as if trying to shatter her.
All sounds were muffled now, but Rose could hear the Doctor yelling something, his voice loud and alarmed. She also heard the sound of the sonic screwdriver whirring, and before the Doctor could do anything drastic, she pulled out of the shelter of her arms, hitting the button again.
All of the noises, the whirring, the horrible rattling sound of the beetle on her back, faded away. Soon, the room was silent once more, and Rose cautiously lifted herself from the table, raising into a sitting position. She faced the Doctor now, but took a second to lift her head, fearing what she would see on his face.
But what Rose saw was not what she expected. She expected fear, even disgust. She expected anger and confusion. But instead, she saw only sadness. Not fear, but a resigned, accepting look adorned his face.
"You know?" Rose asked fearfully. Because she could tell that he did know what was going on here, wholeheartedly. Otherwise, he would be running. He would be shouting at the top of his lungs. He would be writing complex scientific equations and trying to justify what was going on now, but he wasn't doing any of those things.
"Yes," the Doctor said flatly. "A time beetle." He paused for a moment, but then continued speaking.
"But I don't understand," he stated slowly. "What changed? These creatures alter something in your timeline, creating a parallel universe. I know, in this universe, you died, but in your universe, you lived. Something is different though. It can't be that. This chain of events just doesn't connect to your death."
Rose nodded. "You're right," she said. "But this isn't a time beetle."
The Doctor's eyes widened. "Then what is it?" He asked incredulously.
"A near relative of the time beetle," Rose said plainly, lowering herself to the floor from the table. "A creature that creates a whole new universe based on what exists in your head. It's not nearly as common as the time beetle, and has no official name. But for now, it has been referred to as the brain beetle."
For the longest moment, the Doctor made no response to this, just staring at her, his eyes holding a million questions that Rose wanted to answer, but couldn't because he refused to speak.
"Who did this?" he finally asked, crossing his arms.
"A species called the Reddolytes," Rose recited. She knew the facts, and had repeated them a thousand times. "One of them was outside, and they resembled..." she paused, deciding it would be best not to mention that the Reddolyte outside had resembled the Doctor himself.
"They're the creatures that inhabit this universe," Rose continued, before the Doctor could respond to her silence. "They have no true faces for themselves, so they use the faces of the people you know. They were lonely..." She paused here, tears brimming on the edges of her eyes. Because it was sad. It was horribly sad, and even though she felt terrible about what they had done she still pitied them. "So they acquired a brain beetle and decided it to put it on someone's back so they could have their own universe. And that person was me," Rose finished.
"But, Rose," the Doctor, said slowly, softly, stepping towards her. "This is all still real."
"No, it can't be," Rose protested firmly, backing away from him. "I'm lying on a table somewhere, back in my universe, with a beetle clawing into my back. This universe was created based in my desires, and the content in my head. And you know what Doctor?" she punctuated, "There was only ever you. You, and Jack, it seems, and that beautiful blue box, traveling through time and space. This was all an experiment, but they picked the wrong person. They thought that they could create a new world from the contents of an executive at Torchwood, but all they got was an empty world full of robotic people and three real beings, because that's all I cared about at that time. You." Rose's voice broke off at the end, and she turned away from the Doctor, wiping angrily at her eyes.
"I created this universe because of you," she repeated, after gaining her composure to some extent. "I created a world in which you had lost me and wanted me as much as I wanted you." She now turned to the Doctor, eyes red and lips trembling. "And that is horrible."
In an instant, he crossed the room and pulled her to him, leather clad arms pulling her tightly to him, and Rose felt that it was infinitely wrong, because she didn't deserve him in any respect. She has been selfish, and caused the Doctor nothing but pain. But despite that, he held her, and she refused to reciprocate, her arms pinned to her sides, because she knew if she held back she would give in to the perfect delusion that she belonged with him in this fantasy world.
"But just because it's from your mind," whispered the Doctor in her ear, "...doesn't mean it's not real."
"But that's it, Doctor," Rose murmured brokenly. "It's from my head, and as soon as I am gone, it's destroyed."
The Doctor pulled away from her, surprised. "When you're gone?"
"Yes," Rose cried. "When I'm gone. I talked to the Reddolytes, and they're letting me go. It's why I'm glowing, Doctor, I'm dying. They're slowly dissolving my body to dust, and once that has happened I'm dead. This universe is dead, and I'm back in my universe."
"No!" shouted the Doctor. "I can't let that happen!" He pulled away from her, his eyes carrying all of the rage and hurt of the oncoming storm. "I can't lose you again, Rose!"
"But it's too late!" Rose exclaimed tearfully. "Doctor, I'm almost completely gone, and there's nothing you can do about it!"
For the briefest moment, the Doctor seemed entirely lost, his normal calm and resolute state entirely fractured. But then, a look of determination came into his eyes, and he strode towards her.
"No," he said sternly.
"What do you mean?" said Rose incredulously.
"I mean, no," the Doctor practically growled. "I don't care if I'm going to die as I do it, I'm not going to lose you ever again."
"Doctor-!" Rose froze, seeing as the Doctor had cupped her face in both of his hands. He was looking at her with a look of unfathomable tenderness that Rose had no honest idea how to respond to.
"Never. Again," he repeated, and before Rose could say a single word, he was kissing her.