Enterprise High

being a high school AU of ST: XI

with many hijinks

and much angst

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Chapter Twenty-Four: The Cloud Minders

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Spock poked at his Caesar salad unenthusiastically.

"When I used the phrase 'acceptable vegetarian menu' earlier, were you confused by it?" he said irritably to Kirk. "This romaine resembles iceberg in taste and texture. And appearance. In fact, were I to do genetic testing, I would hypothesize that this lettuce were more closely related to cabbage, as the crisphead lettuces tend to be."

Seemingly unbothered by his mouthful of cheeseburger, Kirk said, "Fut up an' eat ur salad."

"James, the Caesar salad is traditionally constructed with not only romaine lettuce, which I have already determined this is not, but also with Worcestershire sauce, parmesan cheese—not this unaged American product—and egg, among with numerous other lacking ingredients—"

Kirk swallowed his mouthful hastily and said, "Spock. Seriously. This is a burger joint. It's called the Greasy Keys. Of course you're not going to get a decent anchovies-and-all Caesar here. I asked if you wanted to go to Sprout's, but you got all passive-aggressive on me and said you wanted to go wherever I wanted to go, and hell, I wanted to go here, so, just eat it, okay? Or go get a hot dog or something." Spock's eyes lit up angrily when Kirk mentioned hot dogs. Kirk continued quickly, "Don't lecture me about hot dogs, either. They have veggie burgers here, too. Try one of those if the salad is grossing you out that badly."

Spock scowled at him for a moment (Kirk took an artlessly large bite of burger in the interim) and got up to trade his salad for a veggie burger.

"I never pegged you for a picky eater, you know," Kirk said when Spock had finally started on his own burger. "Just because you don't like meat doesn't mean you have to be insane."

Spock merely eyed him coolly over his lemonade.

"Hey, how come you're avoiding Nyota?" Kirk said.

Spock ruminated, taking time to chew and swallow before replying. "While Nyota and I parted on speaking terms, I deemed it prudent to spare her feelings by removing myself from her presence." Spock paused to take a sip of lemonade. "Also, Nyota is a rather scary woman."

Kirk nearly choked on his burger.

"She is forceful," Kirk agreed with a grin once he had recovered. "I'd stay away from her after she broke up with me. She and Bones are cut from the same cloth, and I'm sure avoiding him."

"You should not," said Spock. "He is still your friend, as Nyota is mine. I plan on approaching her as usual tomorrow, after giving her time to… recover, I suppose."

"She might not recover for a while," said Kirk, "considering why she broke up with you in the first place. I'm sure Bones'll take quite some time. He wants to rip my balls off, probably."

"Surely that would be an extreme reaction?" said Spock, alarmed.

"Sarcasm not your strong point?"

"I simply found the concept feasible. Leonard has enough strength and temper to do what you suggest; the human testicles—"

"Oh my god, don't even go there," said Kirk, flinching and crossing his legs.

Spock looked rather content at making Kirk react so visibly, and sipped his lemonade airily.

"I hate you," Kirk let him know.

"I am well aware," said Spock, almost sweetly. He watched as Kirk stuffed the last remnants of his burger into his mouth and scrubbed at his face with his napkin. He noticed, for some reason, that Kirk had very white teeth. Very sharp white teeth. He tried not to wonder how they would feel on his flesh.

Kirk was still a bit fixated on Bones. He had really liked Bones. He certainly wouldn't go so far as to say he'd loved him, though. The man was certainly very passionate. Kirk let a bit of a shudder run through him. He would miss that. Maybe he could convince Bones to be a fuck buddy? But he didn't think their sex life would ever be quite the same, not after Kirk had handled all of that so badly. (Kirk didn't even think that it had been Bones that had handled all of that so badly.)

"So, I've been wondering, how was sex with Nyota?" Kirk asked.

It was Spock's turn to nearly choke on his burger.

"Excuse me?"

"She seems really spunky, but also terrifying, so I was just wondering what that combination was like." Kirk paused delicately. "In bed."

"James, I hardly think this is the place—"

"There is a place?" Kirk was delighted.

Spock had never had anyone to talk to about things like this before. It occurred to him that what he was doing with Kirk was not something he had ever done. He was having a conversation with Kirk, a friendly, teasing one that had (not much) innuendo and wasn't centered around school.

"I suppose," said Spock stiffly.

"I knew I'd get you to open up," said Kirk. "You done with that? We should get back to school."

Spock finished off his veggie burger, found a timepiece, and nearly had a heart attack. "James! There are only seven minutes until the bell for fifth period rings!"

"Yeah, we've got time. Hey, you don't want—"

Spock grabbed Kirk's shirt collar and dragged him out of the diner. Kirk stumbled everywhere, trying to regain his balance. By the time they had reached the street, Kirk had extracted himself and was walking like a normal human being.

"Dude, it's cool, we've got seven minutes, like you said—"

"James, the school is located approximately one half-mile from our present location, and the distance we must travel within the school would return us—"

"It's fine," said Kirk soothingly. "I generally make it back in four minutes from here at a stride. It just seems like a half-mile, it's more like a fourth. Take some time to smell the roses, will you? Or look at the clouds. They're always soothing and fluffy. Or whatever."

Spock did not exactly trust Kirk, so he nearly jogged back to the school, but to his surprise they arrived quite on time. Kirk, quite unexpectedly, hugged him before heading off to military history. Spock tottered into his computer class, almost grinning. Kirk liked him! Sure, as a friend, but… He likes me! Then he scowled mentally at himself and composed his emotions. He cracked his fingers and began to type: Perl would help calm him down.

In economics, which everybody had sixth period, Ms. Okogbo was late. Kirk sat down gingerly next to Sulu, who gazed impassively at him.

"Hey," said Kirk, offering him a smile.

"Hi," said Sulu. "I'm kind of mad at you."

"Yeah? Er, sorry. If it makes you feel any better, you could slap me."

Sulu considered this for a moment, then did so. It was a very hard slap. His palm hurt slightly.

"Mmm," sighed Sulu. "Theraputic."

Kirk straightened, wincing. Sulu grinned at him. "Now I'm not mad at you at all. I am concerned, though."

Kirk covered the red-mark on his cheek with his hand. "Man, fuck you, now I'm mad at you. That hurt."

"I'm in fencing. Don't mess with me or I'll take the point-guard off my épée."

"I don't even know what that means and it scares me. Duly noted."

"So, why are you so dumb?" Sulu asked.

"What, with the thing last night?" Kirk shrugged. "That's how I am. At times I am simply not the sharpest. Plus, I don't have to tell you that Pavel is really hot."

Sulu gave him a look. Kirk flinched.

"I'm not going to hit you again," Sulu laughed. "I'm weirdly fine with this. Maybe because I have this crazy thing where I'm optimistic and know that one day, Pavel will look back on the sex he's had and think, 'You know, Hikaru's been the best. Not Jim. Jim was pretty crappy.'"

"Hey, okay, I am damn good in bed, I will have you know. Er, I'd tell you to ask Bones, but actually, him I wasn't great in bed with. You could ask Helen Noel, though. Or Janice Lester, although she also might hate me, though I'm not sure why. Also, Caroline McKenna, Joe Tormolen, Blayce Hawkins, Chiwetel Puri, or Dora Hannity. And, oh, what was his name… Daigh Olsen."

Sulu stared at him.

"Those are the people you've slept with this year? Before Leo?"

"Yeah, before Leo."

"Wait, okay. I have so many questions. One, Caroline McKenna, um, how are you still alive? Because she scares me. And Chiwetel Puri, I thought he was completely heterosexual."

"With Caroline, well, I did fear for my life at a few points, definitely. That girl is tougher than a bed of nails. Chiwetel? People can surprise you."

"Clearly. God, that's—" Sulu added frantically. "You've had sex with ten people this year."

"Yup."

"How—why?"

"Why? Why not? You've had sex, haven't you? It's amazing." Kirk grinned salaciously. "I am a sexual creature, Hikaru. I cannot be contained."

"Or contain yourself, it seems."

Ms. Okogbo chose that moment to come back and proceeded to lecture them to death about elasticity, which Kirk (at least) already understood, so he mainly bothered Spock, who kept hissing at him to be quiet/stop poking him/quit messing with his hair.

Next period, Spock purposefully chose a seat as far from him as possible, so Kirk sat with Uhura, Chekov, Scotty, and Tony Giotto. Chekov was bright red around him and kept shooting him half-lustful, half-nervous looks. They gravitated towards each other in the hallway after class, Sulu watching carefully from his locker as they leaned against the outside wall of the chemistry labs.

"You are not interested in doing this again, are you?" Chekov asked Kirk. "Because, Jim, you are a wery attractive man."

"I know I am," sighed Kirk, as if the weight of the world were resting on his broad shoulders. "And Pavel, you are just—absurdly sexy. You have that 'jailbait' look going, you know?" Chekov laughed and fluttered his eyelashes. "And you are, wow. The thing you do with your pinky, that, um. Yeah. I enjoyed that."

"Did you? Good."

"Uh. Dammit, quit distracting me. What I'm trying to say is, I would feel bad about having more sex with you. For one, I sort of took advantage of you last night."

Chekov straightened angrily. "My mind was my own, Jim. I wanted you, so I had you."

Kirk smiled. "Good. I'm glad you feel that way. I have to say, my memories are kind of hazy, so I'm glad there wasn't any dubcon or anything."

Chekov looked confused. "Doob-khan? What is this word?"

"Forget it. The other thing I wanted to say was, I would feel bad pursuing a relationship with you because Hikaru has such a big crush on you."

Chekov went rather still. Frowning, he shifted his weight from the wall and stood up straighter, staring intently at Kirk.

"Hikaru has a crush on me?"

Kirk couldn't figure out exactly how to express his shock that Chekov was unaware of this. His you-really-couldn't-see-how-obvious-he-is-being "yeah" had so much emphasis and extended pronunciation of syllables that it stretched all the way back to Riverside, Iowa.

Chekov didn't believe it. "Truly?"

"Truly! Hikaru Sulu is head over heels in love with you, Pavel. Do they not teach social cues in Russia? Or did your Asperger's not get cured in the genetic sweep?"

"Nyet, I simply—" Chekov's face lit up and he gave a happy little squeak. "Jim, this is wonderful! I did not haf any idea that he—he likes me? He likes me! Oh!" He covered his mouth in excitement, his eyes bright.

"Wait, you can't tell him I said anything," said Kirk frantically. "I have no idea if he wanted you to know. I mean, he's been really obvious—at least to those of us that aren't from the frozen north—but, you know, it's different if—see, I didn't know you didn't know, I just thought you weren't interested or something—"

"Oh, I will be wery subtle," said Chekov, beaming like the sun.

"Kind of what I'm afraid of—" Kirk tried to say, but Chekov was off like a rocket, presumably after Sulu.

x

"So," said Uhura, studying her nails. "Leo is pissed."

Kirk sighed. He and Uhura were back at his house. It was right after school, only thirty minutes after Kirk had talked to Chekov. He munched a replicated Ruffle.

"Think I should try to talk to him today?" Kirk asked.

Uhura made a have-you-finally-gone-off-the-deep-end face.

"Tomorrow, then?"

"Yeah. Definitely tomorrow. He'll be less inclined to rip your balls off."

"Spock was talking about that."

"What?"

Kirk frowned. "I have no idea. Just, earlier, I mentioned that Bones was pissed enough to do as you have suggested to my manly bits and he started getting scientific about it and it was weird."

"Oh yeah. You two went to lunch." Uhura eyed him. "How was that?"

Kirk shrugged. "It was alright. He's weird."

"Pot. Kettle."

"I'm not weird! I'm very normal."

"You're very crazy. Do you like him, or something?" Uhura looked a little suspicious.

Kirk laughed. "Are you kidding? Spock? He's like—no. Not even. I mean, I could see us being friends. Totally different, Nyota. We hung out because we're both scared of you two."

"He's scared of me?" Uhura looked unhappy.

"No, sorry. Bad phrasing. He's not scared of you. He just thought he'd give you some time. Seems nice of him, to me. While I am scared of Bones, I think he is simply scared of alienating you. He does like you, you know."

"Oh, I know that," said Uhura distantly. "I wish—I don't know what I wish. This got so complicated and strange. I'm not doing any of this right. I love him so much, but I can't—I can't be with him, because this can't be good—what I'm doing—" She stopped herself, visibly. She was trembling.

"Hey," said Kirk soothingly. "Hey. It's alright." He kissed her on the lips, gently, and she kissed him back, drawing strength from his body.

"Thanks," she sighed, shifting away. She smiled at him. "Maybe we can fuck later. In a week or two, I mean."

"That would be nice," he said sincerely. "It's good to be with somebody without strings."

"You would know, wouldn't you? How many people have you slept with this year?"

"I think about twenty. Since the beginning of the year."

"What? Hikaru said ten."

"Well, I only mentioned the people he knew. There were quite a few older folks. I take it you two gossiped during seventh. Hey, thank god they got rid of human STDs, huh?"

"Yeah, at least until the next one pops up. Remember what happened with bhazzoids, twenty years back? There are some guys that are still permanently disfigured. Anyway. Twenty people."

"Mmhm." Kirk frowned at her. "Maybe we shouldn't fuck."

"How come?" Uhura was curious, rather than offended.

"I don't know," said Kirk slowly. "I mean, you're really hot, but you definitely just seem like someone who's nice to hang with, rather than… anything else. Is it okay that I don't view you as a sexual object?"

"I am not sure if I should feel insulted or relieved. For one, it's you, and don't you view everything as a sexual object? And yet, it's good that I'm not just lumped with everything else. I guess."

"Man, I don't even know," said Kirk. "You're just easy to talk to. That's it."

Uhura slugged him in the arm. "Exactly. Whatever works."

x

A week later, Spock ran his left hand over the hull of the Enterprise as Kirk watched him. They had started talking a little more, but not a markedly high amount. They had both gone back to their table the next day, and while Bones was still shunning Kirk, Uhura and Spock were talking again, if rather stiffly.

"James, I have something important to ask of you," said Spock seriously. Kirk tugged himself out of his reverie and nodded, wondering what this could be about.

"For the past week, I have been considering the situation I find myself in as it pertains to the hovercar competition. Since I believe Nero to be responsible for the death of my mother, even though the police can find no evidence of his complicity other than circumstantial timing and situations, I do not believe that I am fit to race against him. I would attempt, illogically and irrationally, to harm him during the course of the race. Thus, I would like to formally give you the helm of the Enterprise."

Spock said all of this rationally and coolly. His tone did not change even when he mentioned Amanda's death. Kirk was still a bit discomfited by how cold Spock could seem, and this actually scared him slightly, especially since Spock was basically admitting that he did not believe he could keep control of himself in a certain situation.

"Are you sure?" said Kirk carefully. "I can't lie—I would love to be the pilot. But it's your job, it always has been. She's your ship."

"Montgomery was her architect and all of the members of the hovercar club helped to assemble her. She is not my ship. I simply pilot her."

"No, she's yours," Kirk insisted. "You two have been through so much. Spock, you can keep yourself in line. Don't give this up."

"I must," said Spock firmly. "Please do not argue, James. You are an able pilot. I watched you during the practice runs we did on Wednesday and established that you deserve the distinction of vice president. I shall remove myself from the chain of command."

"Wait, you can't back out entirely!" cried Kirk, leaning forwards. He was on the other side of the hovercar from Spock, and he pushed himself across the nose of the Enterprise to grab Spock's hand. "Stay with her, please. Stay with us. God, stay with me, since you still have to train me on all of the controls."

Spock stared down at Kirk, sprawled as he was across the gurian hull.

"Why are you so interested in retaining me?" Spock asked.

"You're useful," said Kirk. "You're smart. And you have to be involved in this, because for you—for Amanda—I will take Nero down."

"Simply defeating him in a competition—"

"I will find a way," Kirk promised. He slid off the front of the Enterprise and stood in front of Spock. "You don't mess with people's families," Kirk said softly. "People who do make me madder than anything. Family is sacred, and he went much too far."

Spock simply gave Kirk the Vulcan salute in thanks.

x

When Kirk told Chekov that Sulu had a crush on him, Chekov had thought that the mere knowledge would make everything better. He had run off to find Sulu, but the boy had just left for home. So Chekov waited until the next day to make his move.

Only to find that he was curiously unable to make said move.

Chekov had never been as nervous as he was around Sulu before in his life. Things only got worse as the days wore on: initially, he could continue to pretend that everything was as it always had been. Recently, however, he had taken to interacting with an increasingly distressed Sulu through mere blushes and stammers.

Things came to a head when they had to go to the library together during sixth to get a few stacks of books for Ms. Okogbo. Chekov did his best to talk to Sulu—he really did. But he couldn't get out more than a few muttered sentences. Finally Sulu cornered him in the physics section and demanded to know what was up.

"I thought we were friends, Pavel," Sulu said, hurt heavy in his voice. "But for this past week you've been like a skittish cat around me. I'm not going to hurt you, you know—for being with Kirk. I told you, you can fuck whoever you want, it's fine with me."

"Oh," said Chekov, letting out a breath of relief and latching onto the misunderstanding. "Good, Hikaru. I am glad that you are not mad at me about Kirk. I thought you would be, and that is why I was trying to awoid you." The words tumbled quickly out of his mouth, and Sulu looked a bit taken aback, but nevertheless convinced.

"Well. Good," said Sulu. He looked into Chekov's eyes. "I missed you," he said sincerely. "Pavel, you're so great to be around. Not to mention, you help quite a lot in physics, and that's what I've wanted to ask you for this past week except you were busy avoiding me—can you tutor me? In physics?"

Chekov was surprised. "Hikaru, you are good at physics. Your equations are orderly and you understand the math."

"I'm just okay at physics," said Sulu. "I'm worried about the AP test. It's supposed to be harder than the class, you know—no matter how carefully Pike prepares us, the test is going to be this scary combination of everything and I feel like I already don't remember stuff from the beginning of the year."

"Of course I can help you," said Chekov soothingly. "Hikaru, you haf a gift for flying, but you are not too good at the memory, are you?"

Sulu sighed. "I can be forgetful, yes."

"Well," said Chekov, shoving his courage to the forefront. "I can certainly help you to remember."

With that, he trailed a hand carelessly over Sulu's chest, evoking a sharp, hastily muffled gasp, and ducked out of Sulu's way. They took the books to Ms. Okogbo in a rather astricted silence.

x

Pike mentioned to Kirk during fourth period the next day that Bones was working on the Enterprise alone down in the shop, and Kirk, impulsively, asked if he could join him.

Pike was a smart man, and he knew people. He knew that Kirk and Bones were not on the best of terms. But he figured that meant that they would be more likely to actually work than something else high schoolers were apt to do. So, Kirk got a hall pass transferred to his ID and walked carefully down to the shop.

He stuck ins head in the door and saw Bones immediately, sprawled underneath the hovercar's flat cushion. Kirk steeled himself and knocked on the door.

"Come in," Bones called carelessly.

Kirk took a few small steps forwards, restraining the urge to run. "Hey," he said hesitantly.

Bones threw himself out from under the car. He sat up, glaring at Kirk. His hair was tousled heavily and he was wearing a grease-covered wifebeater and cutoff jean shorts. Kirk felt a familiar tug in his heart. He missed Bones.

"What is it?" Bones snapped.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing," said Kirk, trying to sound quiet and reasonable. "I mean, since I'm the pilot, I thought I would come check on how the repairs were going."

"They're goin' well, Captain Kirk," said Bones harshly. "They'd go better if you'd fuck off."

"Please be civil," said Kirk pleadingly.

"You know, I think I'll be however the hell I wanna be," growled McCoy. "You were the one who up'n cheated on me."

"Bones, this isn't about us. It really is about the Enterprise. Can't we just talk, like we used to? I miss that."

"I miss bein' respected, Jim." Bones sat back down and pulled himself under the Enterprise. "Go the fuck back to class. I really don't want anythin' to do with you ever again."

Kirk left, his breathing shallow. His eyes looked empty for the rest of the day.

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