42. Whole

That night Willow and Varhog automatically awakened from their deep sleep at an hour past midnight, the time Willow's unexplained reaction had begun the first night. They both subconsciously knew the right time, as indelibly as it had been impressed upon their minds.

Willow stared at his eyes, which were glowing in the darkness. "Say something," she whispered.

"I love you."

Willow smiled. His voice was as welcome and beautiful to her ears as it always had been. "I'm already seeing and feeling you and there's no problem there." She snuggled into him more closely, and he tightened his hold around her.

Pressing her nose into the middle of his chest, Willow inhaled deeply and murmured, "Mmmm. Perfect. Smells like you have been making love to me all day again."

Varhog chuckled, and she turned her head so her ear would be next to his chest instead of her nose. "What else? Sound, sight, smell, touch . . ." She trailed off innocently as if she couldn't think of the last one.

"Taste?" Varhog helpfully supplied, smiling faintly.

"How could I forget?" Willow softly exclaimed with mock naiveté. "Let's test that one out."

She turned her face and tasted him with her tongue. "Seems fine right there," she informed, "but it may not be true for everywhere. We had best be thorough." She moved her mouth toward his neck, pulling herself up using his shoulders until their faces were level.

"Still fine," she whispered. Willow kissed up his neck, then along his jaw to his chin, where she planted a firm kiss on the cleft she loved so much. She skirted his lips, trailing small kisses along his nose up to his eyes.

Varhog sighed in contented acceptance as his body tensed, and Willow felt his reaction with her leg right over him. She lifted her face around his horn and rested it on the bottom curl so she could tease his ear, spending a few seconds there.

Varhog laughed as it must have tickled. "Still fine?" he playfully asked.

"More than fine," Willow confirmed, moving her face away from his horn to look at him. "How about my favorite part now?" She gazed at his eyes for a moment, feeling a twinge of annoyance that tears suddenly filled hers. "What now?" she irritably demanded.

"Eartheyes?" Varhog worriedly asked.

"My eyes decided that I needed to be crying right now," Willow explained in amused exasperation.

"Why?" he wondered.

"I don't know!" Willow cried. Then she laughed. "That's why I asked them."

Varhog laughed with her. Then he kissed her as he began stroking her hair. "Your hair is so tangled. Maybe I'll brush it for you again and this time you'll like it."

Willow creased her brow. "I'm so—"

Varhog cut her off. "Don't apologize, Eartheyes. I know you couldn't help it. I know part of you did like it. I understand."

The tears overflowed onto her cheeks, and Willow smiled through them. "Thank you for being so selfless and understanding. That must be why these tears made an appearance a moment ago. When I looked at you, it struck me what an amazing man you are . . . I mean ram. . . . You know what I mean. You have been my best friend for so long, Varhog. You have been loyal, caring, demanding, and . . . and everything. You are everything to me. You brought me back to life when I felt I had no reason to live except Sunset, but she would never have been able to be what you were to me and what you are now.

"And now? Now you have given me even more, more than I thought it possible for one person to give another. I always wanted to marry my best friend, but I had no idea what it would actually feel like to be married to a ram who is so strong and wise and mature and selfless. You made me a wife. You made me a mother. When you fought those wolves to protect me yesterday . . . I . . ."

Willow choked as the tears turned to sobs. Varhog sat up and made a soothing noise as he held her close and gently rocked, still stroking her hair.

But she wanted to finish. "I realized how blessed I am. To have a mate who could do that and who would. I felt your courage, strength, and compassion as you did what you had to, though you didn't want to harm them. I guess what I'm getting at is that I'm so grateful for you. I love you so much, but those words just sound pitiful, like there's no way they could convey what I really feel, how deeply I really feel . . ." She trailed off again, feeling like there was so much more she wanted to say but not knowing the words that would carry her meaning.

Varhog was silent as he continued his efforts to comfort her, and Willow soon felt a warm wetness on her hair. She realized he was crying and pulled back to look at him. He met her gaze, his eyes saying the same thing she had felt—there weren't words that could express his feelings. They gazed unblinking at one another for many seconds. Even after they had to blink, they didn't stop staring as they attempted with their eyes to communicate all of their love, devotion, and gratitude. Though pure and intimate, it inevitably turned to longing as their bodies sought to express what their minds were unable to through word.

"I never did get to taste my favorite part," Willow reminded him, not in the teasing way of before but with such tenderness. She reached for his mouth, the yearning almost more powerful for how gentle and caring it was.

-:-:-

That warm, selfless tenderness was the most pronounced part of their intimate expression. Varhog was so careful and gentle. Worshipful. He adored the beautiful, sweet, warm girl who had grown before his eyes and under his instruction into this strong, powerful, commanding woman who still accepted him, even more than the young girl had because she welcomed this. She longed for this. She loved this part of him as much as every other part of himself that he had been able to give to her before as her friend.

As unlikely as it was, Varhog wept as they shared the beautiful moment of surrender and release. He was so overcome by her touching words, her tender manner, her wholehearted acceptance and approval of him, and that they could share such an intimate moment of love and pleasure.

Willow gazed at him in wonder, her eyes displaying similar overwhelming emotions. "No pain, Varhog. Only peace and pleasure and joy. We are whole now, sweetheart."

Varhog nodded, his tears falling to her face, for she was beneath him at her insistence.

"We are whole," he echoed. "Thank you, Willow. My Willow. I will always love and protect you. You are my life. More. I would die for you, my beautiful mate." He raised himself with one arm around her so they would stay joined. He needed to wrap her in his arms right then. And he did, gently pressing her body into his and holding her face to his chest. He remembered what she had said the first night at the hot spring about her father singing to her in his marvelous voice, the voice that was exactly like his own.

Varhog had never sung to Willow, but he could sing, so he sang her an elven song he had learned from the Eldunarí, a song that spoke of love and loyalty so enduring that each person would willingly sacrifice their own life for the other. He had to sing it much deeper than an elf would, but it worked, and Varhog felt Willow trembling in his arms in her bliss. He finished—though his tears didn't—and continued to hold and rock her.

"Thank you," Willow breathed when she was able. "I didn't know you could do that but now that I do, I will require it at least once a day. It was beautiful."

Varhog lay back, reaching for the blanket he had retrieved from Black Thunder's saddlebags so he could spread it over them. Now that they had ascertained that Willow's strange reaction and allergy were behind them, they returned to their slumber with the beautiful knowledge and reassurance that they could move forward and enjoy their lives together as friends and lovers, bound to one another for as long as time would allow.

The Cycle Continues . . .

In Part Three:

Full Circle

A/N: If you're reading this, thanks for sticking with me so far! As the title to Part Three suggests, we come full circle in many ways, especially Eragon and Arya as they visit Carvahall and Ellesméra. And of course they come full circle in their relationship with the birth of their baby. But it's not all fun and games before then or after, and there is still a fair amount of time spent with Willow and Varhog. Part Three is entitled The Cycle Continues Part Three: Full Circle and still rated M, so if you want to keep reading, look for that. As with Part Two, Part Three will begin without any intro or summary. ~Autumn :)

P.S. If you intend to keep reading with Part Three, I would love to hear what you think in a brief review! It only takes a few seconds and makes my day to hear reader feedback.