It was strange, falling back into her old routine once they came home.
Caroline's mom gave her a ride home from the airport in Atlanta since they landed in the middle of the day and aunt Jenna was at work, unable to come to pick her up. Caroline's mom was a sheriff of Mystic Falls so she had flexible working hours. There was always someone to fill in for her if she had some personal obligations. That was really handy since she was a single parent and Caroline required a lot of attention, especially when she was a child. Not that things are a lot different now.
Jeremy was home when she arrived which pleasantly surprised her. She thought he will be at Bonnie's. She felt slight relief when he told her he's going to see Bonnie tomorrow, while giving her a big hug which was followed by "What did you bring me from Rome?"
She really didn't want to be all alone for the whole day, and Jeremy could have seen that, telling her certain times are reserved for family.
After she gave him the gift she bought for him in Rome, he told her dad was home for two days while she was abroad. Disappointment was written all over her face, disappointment to which Jeremy did not react. She did not expect him to either, because she knew there's nothing he can say anymore. He had seen that expression on her face few time more than he should have. He gave her a letter dad left for her, letter she still had not read.
She was too afraid the only thing she will find in it is disappointment.
She was not ashamed to admit she misses Rome. She misses the warmth, it's incredibly fresh in Mystic Falls. She misses the clean air, the first thing she smells when she gets out of the house is the smoke of the factory near her house. She misses all of those old buildings because she thinks the mall in her city has a really ugly design, and she misses the way people dress because in her town everyone are plain. She also misses having no responsibilities.
No, she's not ashamed at all to admit she that misses Rome, she's ashamed to admit what exactly about it she misses the most. She's ashamed to admit she misses Stefan, and being in his presence, and sharing her living space with him, and being with him.
She had barely seen him in school. She caught few glances of him in the hallway, but she was careful not to keep her look on his for too long. So he doesn't look back. On the day they were supposed to have Chemistry she didn't show up out of fear he will. She went to the doctors under the excuse she has cramps. That was probably the first time Elena Gilbert had skipped school.
She was standing by the library counter, waiting for Mrs. Gideon to get her the book she has been assigned to read for an extra credit in English. Mrs. Gideon was slow, and kinda blind, so Elena knew it will take her quite some time to find the book. Of course, Elena knew by memory where the book is because she helps out in the library every once in a while, but Mrs. Gideon doesn't like someone telling her how to do her job. She didn't mind, she had some free time on her hands anyway before her book club meeting starts. She had to decide by the end of the month who will be taking her spot of the president since she's a senior and will be leaving in couple of months.
She thought about how lovely it would be to own a bookstore one day. Nothing too big, just a small bookstore barely visible between two buildings, selling the books one can't get their hands on so easily. That would be such a disappointment to her dad, though. He always expected great things from her, even though she wasn't sure what those great things were.
She knew going to Harvard was the first step to finding out, which is why she applied. Which is why Harvard is her first choice, even though it's not even her choice.
Because of her annoyingly unhealthy need to please others.
"Gilbert," she hears a familiar voice behind her, followed by a loud thump of books on the library counter. The voice makes the blood in her veins freeze, and the thump makes her jump a little.
She turns her head around and her icy look locks with his. There's a smirk on his face, a smirk he doesn't pull back even when she whips him with her look, which doesn't surprise her at all. That smirk is the only weapon he has.
Rebekah is standing next to him, pretending like she's not there, arranging the pile of books she had dropped on the counter.
Elena eyes him for a moment, but when she realizes her look is not as half as intimidating as she would like it to be, she looks away from him without saying a word.
He gasps silently. "So now you're not talking to me?" he asks surprised as Elena starts thumping with her fingers on the counter.
"Nope," she says coldly, the word followed by her shaking her head slowly.
She can feel Rebekah's look lurking on her as well.
"Elena," he says her name sweetly, more gently than she's used to him saying her name in public. That little fact, the way he changed his voice while saying her name, especially after how things went down between them in Rome. Especially because he made no effort in contacting her after they came back home.
Sure, she hasn't tried either, but she wasn't the one pretending nothing has changed between them. Everything has changed.
She turns to him, cold look in her eyes, "Stefan, you were perfectly clear about not wanting to do anything with me," she huffs, pain of his words still present in her shaky voice, "So what are we doing here?" she watches surprise wash all over his face as she says those words to him.
Rebekah looks a little stunned as well, but she doesn't say anything. She's probably not used to anyone talking to Stefan the way she is now.
Before he gets a chance to talk, Mrs. Gideon appears behind the counter with an amused look on her face, putting the book Elena asked for on the counter. Elena smiles at her thankfully before Mrs. Gideon leave them alone.
She knows all of the students business. Probably because she eavesdrops on their conversations, hiding behind the bookshelves. Students come to lead their private conversations to the place where no one would expect them to speak, thinking they're safe. Well, how much damages can the old lady's eavesdropping do?
"Can't we forget anything ever happened?" he asks once he's sure Mrs. Gideon is too far away to hear them. Elena looks back at him, colder than moments before, he notices, and his question earns him an elbow in the ribs from Rebekah, like a signal he said something he shouldn't have.
Makes sense, the fact he has no idea what's proper to say in these kind of situations. Girls are usually throwing themselves at him, he never had to put much effort in winning them over.
"How do they say?" he asks nervously, smiling at her, "What happens in Rome stays in Rome?"
She wants to laugh, but she controls herself, stiffening a laugh in her throat.
Rebekah raises her eyebrow in confusion. "They say that about Vegas," she announces.
"Oh," he frowns, completely forgetting about the conversation he's supposed to be having with Elena, "What do they say about Rome then?" he looks at Rebekah.
She ponders on his question a little before she asks quizzically, "All paths lead to Rome?"
Elena rolls her eyes, clearly annoyed. "Look, Stefan," she says his name bitterly, "You can contact me when you grow up," she takes the book off the counter without even looking, "And then we can talk about how we can't forget everything that has happened," she says before she storms out of the library, unsure where she's supposed to go.
Elena was sitting on the couch in her pajamas, curled under the blanket, a spoon of Nutella in her mouth, watching Titanic, and thinking how more pathetic can she get. How low can she go?
Jeremy was with Bonnie, so she was able to walk around the house like a homeless person, every now and then bursting into tears without any reason given.
"Move a little Rose," she says perfectly calm at the television as she watches Leonardo DiCaprio's perfect hair frozen in the cold ocean. His hair reminds her of Stef - no.
She's not allowed to think about him. Or his hair.
Damn his perfect hair.
She takes another spoonful of Nutella and places it in her mouth, slowly sucking the chocolate from the spoon as she watches Rose let Jack go.
She should learn a thing or two about letting things go.
Then again, can you let go off something that was never truly yours?
"Dammit Rose, stop crying," she screams at the screen as Rose watches Jack sinking, promising she will never forget, "If you moved your ass a little, or if the thought of exchanging places every now and then even occurred to you, he would be alive now!" she yells annoyingly, not even sure why. She used to love Titanic.
She also used to hate Stefan, and now she's not that sure about that anymore.
In the moment the policeman asks Rose for her name, the doorbell rings. Elena pauses the movie and drags herself to open the front door.
She opens it and gasps. "Rebekah?" she asks, thinking how Rebekah is the last person she would expect to see on her front porch.
Rebekah cocks an eyebrow in her direction, eyeing her pink pajamas with little cupcakes all over it. "Don't you need some bread with that?" her look falls on the jar of Nutella in Elena's hands.
Elena's cheeks flush when she remembers how she looks like. "Bread is very fattening," she says the first thing that comes to her mind, which makes Rebekah laugh. "Would you like to come in?" she asks as she opens the front door wide open and steps aside so Rebekah can come in.
Rebekah smiles at her as she steps inside.
"So," Elena says awkwardly, "Is there anything I can help you with?" she asks, still confused why exactly is Rebekah at her house.
"I think you took one of my books by mistake today," Rebekah says warmly, and Elena notices the bits of her leftover British accent. She's surprised it's still there because as far as she knows Rebekah has been living in Britain for only five years before her family move to America. "Because I'm pretty sure I'm not reading Anna Karenina," she pulls a thick book with hard covers out of her bag and hands it to Elena.
Elena takes it out of her hands and places it on the table before she reaches for her bag and pulls out a copy of The Black Cat out of it. She must have taken the wrong book by mistake today, before she stormed out of the library.
"Here," Elena smiles as she hands the book to Rebekah, who takes it out of her hands and smiles back at her.
"Elena, you know.." Rebekah starts talking, but then hesitates to continue. It takes her few seconds to do so, "Stefan's not such a bad guy," she looks at Elena, slowly following her reaction.
Elena sighs loudly, putting her hands on her hips. "Did Stefan send you here?" she asks, almost accusingly.
Rebekah shakes her head instantly. "No," she says defensively, feeling Elena's hostile tone of voice, "He has no idea I'm here," she lowers her voice as well as her look. She keeps silent for few moments before she speaks again, "You know Stefan a lot longer than I do, and the boy you once loved must be in there somewhere," she raises her look and locks her eyes on Elena's.
Icy and determined look in Elena's eyes disappears and is replaced with a warm and vulnerable one. Rebekah is surprised by a sudden change in her emotions. "I thought so too," Elena says painfully, "But he's not," she shakes her head, on the verge of tears.
Rebekah tilts her head in disagreement, "I think he is. Stefan is simply hiding him well," a smile creeps on her face.
"He says," Elena swallows, "He said he doesn't want to be with me," she's surprised by the words that come out of her mouth, directed to Stefan's best friend, one who can easily tell him everything Elena had said.
Rebekah keeps quiet, looking at the floor, and then, Elena sees the corners of her lips curving into a smile.
"It's a scary thing, isn't it?" she raises her head, and Elena can see a full blow smile on her face, "Love."
Elena's whole body stiffens. "Rebekah, I'm not - "
"I know," Rebekah interrupts her in the middle of her sentence, "You're not in love with him," she states, "And he has this fear of falling in love," she huffs as she shakes his head.
"Why?" she asks, thinking Rebekah will be able to provide her with a better answer than Stefan. "Why is he so scared of it?"
Rebekah shrugs her shoulders. "I don't think there's any real reason behind it," she wiggles her lips, "He simply doesn't think we're mature enough to love, and he doesn't want to look at his life one day only to realize he spent years on something that doesn't exist."
Elena ponders on Rebekah's answer a little, seeing how someone could have that point of view, but then again, it seems completely illogical to her.
"Just like you believe in love," Rebekah says gently, before her voice goes husky, "He doesn't."
She makes it sound so simple.
"I used to think like him too, you know?" a sweet smile creeps on Rebekah's face, creating little dimples on her cheeks, "And then Damon happened," her smile becomes wider, "He was always only Stefan's older brother. Incredibly hot older brother," Rebekah laughs a little.
Elena chuckles. She had to admit Damon was pretty hot.
"I used to see him few times a year, when he came back home from college, and he would always be nice to me. And then one time, he came back home, but he never went away again," Elena thinks Rebekah's skin will stretch to the point of no return if she smiles any wider. "And until him I used to think we're too young to love and to dedicate ourselves to someone," she raises her look and her eyes lock on Elena's, "But the truth is, the only thing you need is a right person," she says significantly.
Elena smiles at her before Rebekah sighs tiredly and says, "Well, I better go now," she turns around to leave.
"Rebekah?" Elena yells her name when Rebekah reaches the door, "How do you know? That you're falling in love?" she asks curiously, thinking maybe she could stop it if she's able to recognize it.
Rebekah smiles at her. "I think you already know."