Super Eight chapter 14 . 8h ago
I would highly advise you not to put your friends or characters with your friends names (Or your name for that matter/or nickname) in stories. Being overly attached to a character may produce a Mary Sue(s); which no one likes. Take a Mary Sue test online to be sure your characters are not Mary Sues. Also re-reading will help with spelling errors; always re-read before publishing.
Another thing I would like to bring up is why do add Japanese to chapter ten? I am assuming you are taking classes, but was it truly necessary? What reason did you put it up for? I certainly hope you are not pretending to know and using a translator! Pretending to know something you don't will hurt you in the long run (I know this from personal experience).
And as a Transformers fan I would like to state that Cybertronians do not have blood, they have energon; which is not all that healthy for humans. So injecting energon into a human would most kill them. Researching more about transformers and its terminology could help produce an even greater story.
I don't mean to offend and I am sorry if I did, but I thought constructive criticism might help with this story and any future transformers stories you might have!
I have gotten this review and I will have you know. I do everything possible to keep my character snot being Mary Sue. Just because I'm using two OCs based off of me and my friend does not mean they will bed Mary Sue
I do try to reread it and I used to have my friend do that because I basically have dyslexia and if something is spelt wrong my mind will think it's spelt right.
And yes I put some japanese into the authors note. If you do not like it don't read it simple as that. It's what I felt like doing at the time.
I KNOW a lot about Cybertronian stuff and I know that it would kill a human. I changed it a bit to work for the story and I WAS going to put something in there saying some major details about it and I am working on changing Chris a bit to make it all make sense. DEAL WITH IT OR FRAG OFF OKAY
I get plenty of constructive criticism my all my friends who are major transformers fans and they were just fine on how I had this. Everyone else who read this didn't care.
I think very carefully before I write each chapter keep this in mind.
In no way am I overly attached to my characters. Like basically every OC anyone has my OCs are a part of me. A part of my personality. Insulting my characters is insulting me.
If let's say about... 2 more people say they don't like how I write and I'll just delete my stories off of here and just put them on quotev.
She's who will only have one more chapter and it's done. Maybe I'll just end it like this.
Deepeneds on my mood.
I am in an extremely bad mood right now. My characters are not Mary Sue. Pease tell me in what ways they are Mary Sue in the reviews because I, and 600+ people on quotev cannot find anything Mary Sue about them. Goodbye and the next chapter should be up soon. I apologize for such a long authors note