"I just can't believe that you boys would do such a thing." Mr. Garcia said, pasing before Logan, Carlos, and James, who were on the couch. "Especially knowing I was a policeman and you could easily get caught. And I ESPECIALLY can't believe that you forced Logan- your sweet, innocent adopted BROTHER- to drink. I know he didn't WANT to. And you're all lucky I deal with this type of thing every day or you'd be much worse off. I'm talking a beating-" Immediately Papi stopped himself, seeing Logan's eyes raise tearfully. "I didn't mean that. I'm sorry. I was just trying to say that I understand that all teens do this and if I wasn't a policeman and saw it daily, you two would get a worse punishment that what you're getting."

Logan nodded.

James didn't take this speech too seriously, because he knew the worst Mr. Garcia would do is call his mom, who wouldn't care. Carlos was scared shitless- his dad was something to fear sometimes. Logan was CRYING because he was both afraid of Mr. Garcia and his sins. He was afraid God would never forgive him.

James was sent home and Carlos's phone was taken away. The predicted consequences happened- no friends over, in their rooms by 9, no dessert, blah blah, for a month.

"You know, I don't even remember anything from last night." Logan said. They were in Carlos's room and Logan was on the floor, hugging his knees. Carlos was glad that they were somewhat friends, otherwise he would have gotten a worse punishment AND he would be bored out of his mind all month. At least he could talk to Logan.

"I do. You were FUN. I wish I remembered what your smile looked like. You know, you said and did some weird stuff..."

"Like?"

"You told me 'n James than you were gay. Then before you fell asleep you KISSED me. On the mouth." Carlos said casually. Logan's eyes doubled in size.

"I've never kissed anyone before." Logan said.

"I think drunk you meant it like a brotherly kiss..."

"Oh God- please forgive me. I have sinned. Boy's lips are for girls only. Not boys. NOT BOYS." Logan gripped his hair angrily. "And nobody was supposed to know about my homosexuality. The more people that know, the more I am frowned upon. And the Lord's frown is more than enough."

"So you really are?" Carlos asked.

"I wish I could tell you that the intoxicated me lied to you... But it's true." Logan sighed.

"Well... Um..."

"I'm sorry. Now you're uncomfortable." Logan groaned.

"No- it's, eh... It's no big deal. Don't worry about it." Carlos said.

"I should just release everyone from my sins... I should- should kill myself."

"No way!"

"The world is a better place without one of God's most trusted followers being a homosexual AND an alcoholic." Logan said tearfully. "If the Lord can't trust me, who can he trust? He hates me! I'm sure of it!"

"Don't talk that way! God doesn't hate anyone!" Carlos scowled.

"I guess you're right... But I can't help but hate MYSELF."

"Logan, how do you even KNOW you're gay?" Carlos asked.

"What kind of a question is that? I just- I just KNOW." Logan said, confused.

"You get a boner when you think of dong?" Carlos challenged.

"How could you ask me that?!"

"You fantasize about doing your buddies?"

"Carlos!"

"I don't think you ARE gay."

"Why would I make this up?"

"I'll prove it to you."

"How?"

"We kiss." Carlos said simply. "Like- actually when we're sober. And I won't feel anything but the creeps and neither will you. And then you'll see that the whole gay thing is all in your head."

"That's absurd." Logan said, rolling his eyes.

"Look- it's like a scientific thing. When you kiss someone of the sex you're attracted to, you feel overwhelming... Overwhelm." Carlos said. "And I'm your brother, so it won't be as weird as if you did this with anyone else. AND it also entitles me to help you out, at all costs. So what're you afraid of?"

"I've never kissed anyone before." Logan grumbled.

"I beg to differ. You kissed ME. Last night." Carlos said impatiently.

"I just don't want to, Carlos. Okay?" Logan said. "It's too weird... I've never actually done anything like this before."

"So you're scared."

"I'm not JAMES- that won't work with me." Logan said. "We'll just have to find a different way."

"Okay." Carlos said in surrender- a bit of relief washing over him. He didn't want to kiss Logan either, but he would do the same for James- it was his duty as a brother. He watched Logan leave and go to his room, then heard him leave the house- Papi saying goodbye to him.

"How come HE gets to leave?!" Carlos steamed at his parents after Logan was gone.

"He was going to the CHURCH." Mrs. Garcia said, surprised. "We couldn't stop him from going to church."

It was after dinner- Logan had gotten back from the church. Carlos and Logan were stuck with the dishes as Mr. and Mrs. Garcia sat in the living room watching TV.

Carlos was drying the dishes as Logan loaded the dishwasher beside him. They had been talking the whole time- about Carlos joining the church choir and youth group with Logan because it would be a lot of fun (Carlos was considering)- about how James was probably just at home doing nothing all alone- about this and that.

They had just finished the dishes. Logan put the soap in the dishwasher and watched as Carlos dried off the area around the sink with a towel. Logan was nervous- he had been thinking about what Carlos said for a long time.

How DID he know that he was gay? He didn't. He wasn't even sure what gave him the idea other than the fact that he wasn't attracted to women. There was only one way to know for sure-

Before he could even think about it, he stepped toward Carlos.

"The hell?-" Carlos laughed, turning to him. Logan quickly lunged forward- his aim to kiss Carlos, but this was the real world. Carlos backed away in surprise- his thick brows raised.

"I'm sorry." Logan said, eyes wide.

"I thought you didn't want to." Carlos said lowly.

"I've just been thinking about it all day and decided-"

"Shhhh!" Carlos shushed, hurrying over to the wall, peaking over, and seeing his dad on the couch asleep and his mom watching Family Feud. He returned to Logan and sighed.

"Okay." he whispered. Logan nodded and Carlos squeezed his eyes shut, a little freaked out. He waited and waited for Logan's lips to touch his until he opened one eye to see what was going on. He almost facepalmed himself when he saw Logan with his eyes squeezed shut, waiting also. He rolled his eyes and before he had too much time to think, he lightly touched his lips with Logan's for a few seconds.

Suddenly Logan broke the kiss by pulling back, staring at Carlos like a deer in headlights, and whirling around to lock himself in his room.

Carlos stood there, shocked. He slowly touched his lips with his fingertips- the electricity still in them. He stood in that place for a few minutes eyes wide, heart gradually slowing down, before he snapped out of it and shook his head before going to bed.

Logan sat there in the corner of his bedroom, lightly rocking himself as he murmured verses of the Bible to himself, the Book clutched in his hand, dark eyes flickering across the words.

It's a sin to feel this way about a boy. ESPECIALLY your BROTHER. The Lord hates you, Logan. HATES you. Who doesn't hate you? YOU hate you. Carlos probably hates you for making him go through that.

Oh God, what just happened is so wrong. On so many levels. And Logan knew it.

So why did it feel so good?

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