A/N: Okay, I just want to complain real quick about being sick, y'all can skip this: apparently, oh joy and rapture, I have mono (and so does my girlfriend, oops). BLERG. Did you know that when you have mono, you cannot: make out with other people (obviously), play sports, lift things, or drink—for like three months? You cannot consume alcohol or your liver will explode. (Well not really but basically.) This is bad. I don't think it's possible to write a thesis without getting wasted at least once a week. Also the lymph node right underneath my chin is the size of a grape right now, oh god. … However this does mean that I have, like, free time? Which uh admittedly I have been watching Avatar: The Last Airbender in instead of doing, you know, useful things, but hey. (PS: I am Sokka. We're like the exact same person, it's creepy.)
Reviews do make me update faster! (And uh also being sick, but don't cheer for that.) Thank y'all so much. God this is a fun chapter. But I have a serious thing to say first.
Since I last posted, another of my pets, Emma, has passed away. Bear, my beloved thirteen year-old dog was euthanized in early August due to complications arising from old age. Cassie, my whip-smart one year-old cat, was let outside one night a few weeks ago and never came back. And Emma, my crazywonderful six year-old cat, succumbed to an infection a few days ago. I miss them all so much and I just wanted to take this time to remember them. I still have Aspen, the sweet miniature schnauzer we adopted the day Bush was inaugurated; Chuck, Cassie's brother and the friendliest, sleepiest cat to ever nap on this earth; and Reed (named after Reed v Reed because my girlfriend Jane is a pre-law feminist), the cutest goddamn cat on the planet, who was found wandering the mean streets of a small town in north Texas. If you've also lost pets and want to commemorate them, or if you want to just talk about the pets you have, you can send me a message or leave it as a review, and I'll reply to everyone. I'd love to hear about your experiences with your pets.
And with that sober comment, on to the SEX. Everybody should have a threesome at some point in their lives; they are really wonderful and surprisingly non-awkward if you do it right!
x
Enterprise High
being a high school AU of ST: XI
with many hijinks
and much angst
x
Chapter Forty-Six: The Menagerie
x
Statistically, Uhura was an average seventeen-year-old Terran. She'd had sex with probably ten people in her life—she took a moment to count—no, nine. That wasn't considering a lot of the other things she'd done. But this had been her first experience with a threesome.
Uhura had a queen size bed in her room because she liked to stretch out, but that morning, with Gaila and Chapel sandwiching her, she couldn't exactly spread her limbs around.
She struggled out of bed and went to the bathroom to stare at herself in the mirror. Her hair was insane. She attacked it into a ponytail and brushed her teeth. Then she peeked back into her room. Chapel's leg was hanging off the bed and Gaila had drooled all over her pillow. Uhura had had people sleep over before, but not, you know, two people. She dithered, unsure of what to do.
Finally, she went to make breakfast. But the replicator wasn't working again and neither she nor Chane had gone grocery shopping recently, so she just poured some orange juice and brought it back to her room. Chapel and Gaila were still asleep. She put the juice down on her nightstand rather harder than she would have out of nervousness and Gaila blinked awake.
"Oh, hey," she said sleepily, sitting up on her elbow, her breasts popping out from under the covers. Uhura stared at them. "Ooh, orange juice, hand it to me."
Uhura passed over the glass noiselessly. Chapel let out a snore. Gaila laughed quietly. "Are you going to wake her up?" she asked, drinking half the juice.
"I don't know," said Uhura uncomfortably, hugging her arms across her chest.
Gaila peered at her. "Are you okay? You look weird."
"No, I'm fine, I just haven't done this," said Uhura. "There are two of you."
Gaila stared at her. "I don't get it."
"You wouldn't," Uhura sighed. "I'm sorry. This shouldn't be weird. And it's not! Because that, last night, that was really great. Like really." She paused for a moment to remember how great it had been. It had been really great. "But, I don't know—it's so different, with three people. I didn't realize how different it was."
Gaila pulled the sheet back over her chest, sensing Uhura didn't need nipples at the moment (which wasn't something she understood, but hey, she knew had people had different points of view on things). "I think I understand. Let me tell you something I learned in my medical class," she said. "Pretty recently, it was scientific consensus that monogamy was a good thing and polygamy was a bad thing. We've only gotten beyond that in the past couple of years. But it makes sense that you feel strange about threesomes. They're really emotionally different from twosomes."
"I know that," said Uhura patiently.
"Yeah, but there's a difference between knowing things and knowing things," said Gaila. "What's really making you uncomfortable?"
Chapel woke up, turned over, and started listening to the two of them. Uhura frowned. "I guess it's because… I mean, it's more spread out, you know? A threesome. And there's less opportunity for it to be emotional. If the sex is just casual."
"A lot of people still aren't quite in love with the idea of casual sex," Chapel put in. "If I may. The people who attribute extreme emotional importance to sex, or who are sexually conservative, tend to disapprove. They think casual sex devalues, well, non-casual sex."
Gaila's eyes narrowed. "I loathe that argument. The people who say that type of thing just don't get casual sex, I swear. Sex is a fun thing. But, no, wait, that's not even accurate. Sex is exactly what people say it is. So if you have Person A saying that they think sex shouldn't be casual, then good for them! They shouldn't have casual sex. But a lot of times you get them saying to Person B, 'don't have casual sex,' even if Person B is down with and capable of casual sex."
"So apparently what you're facing is continual societal pressures to feel bad about casual threesomes," said Chapel to Uhura, grinning. "Trust Gaila to get all theoretical over orgasms."
"They're the best things to get theoretical about," Gaila pouted.
"I know," Chapel laughed. "Just—don't hate on Person A too much, okay?"
"No, I know not to," said Gaila, nodding. "It's just hard because it's the Persons A that are generally so judgy about slutiness. I just have such a hard time understanding how orgasms are a bad thing."
"You are not the only one," said Uhura. She went over to the nightstand and handed the remaining orange juice to Chapel, who drained it. "You guys want to go out for breakfast?"
"Oh my god, I am starving," said Chapel, jumping out of bed and looking around for her underwear.
Gaila pouted. "But I don't want to put clothes on."
"You're always like that," Chapel pointed out, snapping her bra on. "Tough it up."
Gaila sighed dramatically and looked around for her clothes. Uhura took the now empty orange juice glasses back into the kitchen and leaned against the counter for a moment, smiling. Weird how theorizing could make her feel so much better.
x
Risa, Kirk read. The pleasure planet.
Terraformed in the early 1900s as the result of a sexually explicit contract between the Orion government and native Risans, the nicknamed "pleasure planet" has since become a universally popular tourist destination. Starfleet's official Shore Leave Offices are located on Risa, as are the headquarters of four thousand nine hundred and twenty-six interplanetary cruise, dancing, touring, exploring, adventuring, drinking, and party businesses. Festivals such as Lohlunat (the Festival of the Moon), Jamaharon Sala'aris (the Major Consummation Rite), and Haliak-Hoa (the Beach Run) draw millions of tourist every solar year. But it is the nightclubs that truly attract Risa's tourists.
From there, the travel guide went into detailed descriptions of the top 100 best nightclubs. Kirk highlighted every other one of them, salivating. He was sitting in Mr. Maru's nearly empty English class before first period, focusing intently on the PADD in front of him. When Bones walked into the room and sat down next to him, Kirk didn't even look over.
"What's got you so focused?" said Bones, pulling his phone and PADD out of his bag. "Tentacle porn? A new food erotica show?"
"Risan nightclub reviews," said Kirk reverently.
"Oh, same difference," said Bones. "How's that plan goin'?"
"Plan?" said Kirk, looking up in confusion. "I have no plan."
"You should get one together," said Bones, checking his watch and deciding to go to the restroom before class. "You gotta seduce Spock some time. Better on Risa."
"What?" said Kirk, but Bones was already getting up to leave.
"He has a point," said Janice Rand, who was filing her nails a few seats away.
"You're not even in this conversation!" Kirk yelled.
"But you should have a plan," said a guy from across the room that Kirk didn't even know.
"Oh my god, fuck all of you," said Kirk, slinking down in his chair.
To Kirk's great relief, Spock didn't get to school until a few minutes before the bell, thanks, apparently, to protocol-related issues at the Embassy. This was a good thing because the ribbing of Kirk continued up until Spock walked into the room. The whole class went silent when Spock came striding in, looking surprisingly angry. Spock didn't even notice that everyone was staring at him or that Kirk's forehead was an inch above his desk and bright red.
"The security protocols at the Embassy are becoming highly irritating," snapped Spock, dropping his back to the floor with a sharp clack of PADDs. "I misplaced my security badge and was attempting to leave, but I was stopped by the Embassy guards…" Spock trailed off, noticing finally that everyone was silent and staring at him. There was a deeply awkward pause, and then the whole class burst into chatter. Spock turned to Kirk, who was whistling determinedly.
"Is something going on?" said Spock slowly.
"I have no idea what would give you that impression," said Kirk with an air of great innocence.
Spock blinked a few times, sighed internally, and turned to his work.
x
That was two weeks before spring break and Risa.
The week right before spring break, Kirk was kind of freaking out.
Aurelan took Kirk shopping for appropriate clothes as a gift on the Friday before Kirk, Spock, and Sarek were to leave for Risa. They wandered around a mall for a while, trying on clothes and talking about nothings, until Aurelan finally steeled herself and said, "Winona mentioned that you like Spock."
Kirk, who was seeing if a miniskirt fit him, went still. "Yeah," he said casually. "I mean, I'm going to Risa with him."
"Jim," said Aurelan gently. "You know what I mean."
"Yeah," said Kirk, in an entirely different tone of voice. He sighed and put the miniskirt back. "I'm sorry, just—everyone's been talking to me about this. And it's weird, you know? I've never liked anybody before quite as much as I like him. And—that's not—something I really want to… discuss."
"Okay," said Aurelan. "I can accept that." She watched Kirk flip through a rack of tank tops, then said, "How are you?"
Kirk seemed to understand what she was saying. "I'm good," he said, smiling at her as sincerely as she had ever seen him smile. "I feel so much better about everything." He checked the price on a gold shirt and scowled. "I talked to Spock, actually. About everything."
"Yeah?"
"He was great," said Kirk quietly. "Just, everything he said, you know—it helped that he was hearing me. And, not that I wouldn't want to talk to you, but—" He looked apologetic. "He just didn't know anything about any of it."
"I get that," said Aurelan. "That was what Sam did for me." She looked off, pensive. "You've heard about my parents."
"I have," said Kirk.
"So it was good to have him," said Aurelan. "Especially since he understood things from my point of view. And that's not really fair, if you think about it—that Sam only knows what I think, how I saw it—but it's important to me, and it's something I need. I'm sure it's something you need too."
They looked at each other for a while. Aurelan still seemed like the sweetest person in the world, with her gorgeous brown hair tumbling around her face in curls and her large, warm eyes. Her arms were resting on her big stomach—by now, she was eight months pregnant, and due at the beginning of May. Kirk had heard enough about her parents to understand what she was saying. Aurelan's parents had been religious fundamentalists that lived in a secluded part of northern California. They were throwbacks to the 1900s, cultists who believed the Second Coming was upon the corrupt world. Aurelan had fought with them for years for custody of her much younger sister, who she said was being abused at her parents' compound. The sister, who was eleven, was now living with Aurelan's aunt in Sacramento, and Aurelan no longer had any contact with her parents.
"I think this is going to be a great spring break," Kirk said at last, grinning. "Now, what do you think about these jeans?" He held up a pair of incredibly skinny black pants.
"I think you should try them on to make sure your ass looks great in them," said Aurelan seriously.
"I like the way you think," laughed Kirk, and went for the dressing room.
x
Later that night, Kirk went out to a café with Uhura and Scotty. They had been the only ones in English not to tease him about Spock, and so they were just about the only peers of his he felt charitable towards, until—
"You realize, however, that we weren't teasing you because we weren't there," said Uhura seriously over her chai latte. Scotty nodded. Kirk stared at them.
"From what ah heard, they're all right," said Scotty apologetically. "Y'ought t' get it on there on Risa. Nice, romantic place, y'know."
"I just hate all of you so much," said Kirk, putting his face into his mocha. "Why is nobody talking about Nyota's sexual exploits instead of my… sitcom of a life?"
"Because threesomes are less interesting than tragic and unrequited love," said Uhura. "I mean, they're less interesting if nobody will tell you the details. Which I won't. So instead we're stuck with your, as you accurately put it, sitcom of a life."
"Or, I am sure Scotty has some interesting stuff going on…?" Kirk tried, turning to Scotty, who was humming over his coffee.
"Absolutely not," said Scotty firmly. "May never share secrets with you again, Jim. This is all too entertainin'."
Kirk decided to change the topic. "What are you guys doing for spring break?" he asked innocently.
"My dad and I are taking Scotty to Harare to see my aunt and her family," said Uhura. "And the World Cup's going to be in Kigali, so we're going to fly over there for a game."
"Sounds fun," said Kirk modestly.
"Oh, shut up, not as fun as Risa," said Uhura. "Hey, I've been there, did you know that?"
"Oh my god, what?" Kirk slammed his mocha down on the table, making Scotty jump. "Tell me everything."
"They have," said Uhura, leaning forward with an evil grin, "the sexiest clubs, I swear. There's this one set of clubs—one of them is topless, and one of them is bottomless. It's amazing."
"Holy shit, how did I not know you've been to Risa?" Kirk was looking at Uhura like she was his new deity.
"I went this summer with one of my cousins," said Uhura. "Do you want a list of places to go? I can email you one."
"Marry me," breathed Kirk.
"He says yes," laughed Scotty.
x
And suddenly, Kirk was on a spaceship.
"Did you know," said Kirk lightly, staring out of the porthole and trying really, really hard not to let his voice tremble, "that I have never left Earth's atmosphere?" He blinked sweat out of his eyes. "At least, not that I can remember."
"Strange, considering you were born in space," said Spock, who was reading an article on his PADD with odd intensity.
"Yep," said Kirk. He took a very large drink of water and managed to slosh it on his chin. Spock glanced over at him and finally noticed his paleness.
"Jim, are you well?"
"Perfect," gasped Kirk.
The spaceship was called the Urugo, and it was huge. Apparently the route from San Francisco, Earth to Risaka (the largest city), Risa was a popular one: Morkor 12s, which held two thousand passengers, left for Risaka every three hours. Kirk, Spock, and Sarek were on the top deck in first class. But nice as the ship was, the inertial dampeners weren't perfect, and Kirk, who was apparently sensitive to this type of thing, could feel every bump.
He wasn't exactly scared, that was for sure. But he was perhaps… apprehensive. Especially when the correcting field on his tray table had to activate to grab his drink from spilling because of a particularly violent jolt.
"Can we talk about something?" said Kirk, a little desperately. Spock got a weird look on his face and Kirk realized how serious that sounded. "I mean, distract me." Different weird look on Spock's face. I cannot talk right now, Kirk sighed to himself. "I mean, apparently I don't really like space travel so can we have a conversation that makes me feel better by distracting me in a non-sexual way," and unless you would like to distract me in a sexual way was left unspoken.
"We could discuss relativity," said Spock, eyes wide. "Perhaps the development of the theorem stating l-prime-gamma is equal to l."
"I remember my physics teacher saying that was a silly-looking equation," said Kirk, gulping. Spock just looked at him, and Kirk cursed himself again for not being able to communicate. "You know, because gamma is an upside down cursive 'l.'" Kirk frowned. "But also, that equation… isn't right, you know…"
"Yes, Lorentz and FitzGerald had to assume it to explain the Michaelson/Morely experiment, but of course Einstein was able to derive the correct equation as related to his theory of relativity."
This was already making Kirk feel better. He barely noticed when the ship left atmo, and Spock had to tell him to turn on his antigrav when the captain turned off the fasten seat belt sign. In the meantime, they had a long discussion on the history of relativity. Which was ironic because they were about to go light-speed.
"This isn't possible, you know," said Kirk, grinning out the window as the captain noted he was preparing for warp. "An Einstein/Cochrane smackdown would be really cool."
"Quite," Spock murmured, all but rolling his eyes.
There was a low, gathering buzz underneath Kirk's seat; streaks formed in the star trails, and the ship leapt forward. The movement washed away Kirk's fear entirely, and he leaned eagerly towards the porthole, gasping as the stars flowed past. The bubble of subspace that the Urugo was travelling in made the edges of the star trails curve. The physics of it all washed over Kirk's consciousness, equations floating behind his eyes, and the glory of successful science was so strong that he had an image: himself in a space suit, floating outside of a ship and watching the sun set behind the Earth.
"If I've said anything against space travel before this, I take it back," said Kirk. "This is awesome. I have got to come out here again."
"Into space?" asked Spock.
"Oh hell yes," said Kirk. "Look at those wave functions!" He flapped his hand at the porthole. "We're flying through science!"
"I was under the impression that you were frightened by space travel."
"Actually, that was before I realized how cool it was," Kirk enthused. He was about to add something about science when the ship hit a gravity wave and a few people's drinks went flying across the cabin. Kirk gulped down a sizzle of fear.
"When I was very young, I was fascinated by trogobols," said Spock reminiscently. "They are highly poisonous and volatile reptiles that have the ability to fly. I had wanted to see one for years and years, and once when I was with my mother in the Nag'av we saw a trogobol nest. And instead of being overjoyed that I was so close to animals that I had wanted to encounter my entire life, I was absolutely terrified."
"I see what you're trying to do there but I don't need a metaphor, just some Dramamine," sighed Kirk, leaning back in his seat and closing his eyes to try to get rid of his nausea. "Wake me up when we get to Risa."
x
"Oh my God," said Kirk.
He and Spock were standing outside of their hotel. Sarek was inside, checking in. Kirk was holding his bag very loosely in his left hand and clutching his forehead with his right hand. Even Spock looked a little awed.
"Pinch me," Kirk pled. "Is this heaven? Have I died and gone there?"
"Quite… possibly," said Spock, very quietly. Kirk stared at him. "Excuse me. Yes, this is indeed a remarkable planet."
"They're just not wearing anything," said Kirk, in a sort of pleading tone. "And all of these stores, they're perfect, that one sells just glitter? And there's a club over there that's… a geode. Oh my God, Spock, that club is a geode."
"We should go inside the hotel," said Spock, sounding pained.
"That would be best," said Kirk. "I feel faint."
The hotel was incredibly posh. Well, to Spock it was upscale, and to Kirk it was diamond-studded. There was a fountain the size of a small moon in the lobby and a caged platypus bear growling at passers-by near the turbolifts. The reception was framed by platinum statues of ancient philosophers and there was gold leaf on everything. Even the complimentary tissues.
"Greetings," said Sarek, handing Kirk and Spock their room keys, which were carved out of sapphire. "This is a very elegant hotel."
"Elegant," Kirk repeated automatically, staring at a chandelier through his key.
"We have a suite," said Sarek, leading them towards the turbolifts. (The platypus bear flapped its tail at them.) "Room number 512. The conference will be taking place in the Hediya Conference Center, which is two blocks away. I will provide both of you with the address and directions. Dinner will be served at seven, and I expect you both to attend."
"Yes, Father," said Spock, stepping smartly into the turbolift. Kirk hadn't quite gotten over everything yet and was still standing there and staring through his key. Spock cleared his throat and Kirk jumped comically and hurried into the elevator.
"Yes, Sarek," he said meekly. Spock had to physically keep himself from smiling.
The suite was as preposterous as the lobby. There were four bedrooms, an office, a sitting room, a living room, a dining room, a kitchen, an exercise room, and a room that was entirely filled with a mattress and pillows. (All Sarek said when they looked inside was, resignedly, "Risans.") The bedrooms all had bathrooms attached, and the one Kirk chose had a hot tub as well. (Spock and Sarek had passed on that one for reasons Kirk simply did not understand.) Sarek, being both adult and a Vulcan, quickly wearied of exploring the suite and went off to his room to do responsible things. Kirk, meanwhile, lured Spock into his room and tried to convince him to get into the hot tub.
"It'll be really nice and relaxing," said Kirk cajolingly, pulling a towel out of a cabinet. "Come on—the water is so nice and warm!"
"Jim, it is the middle of the afternoon," said Spock patiently. "This is not the right time for hot tubs. Additionally, I dislike hot tubs."
"How can you—what? Why do you dislike hot tubs? What is there to dislike? They're hot… tubs."
Spock raised his eyebrow.
"Oh, you know what I mean," Kirk sighed.
"Hot tubs are not hot," Spock said. "Although I have a lower core body temperature than you, my surface temperature is higher, and thus I do not find hot tubs hot enough."
"Then… treat them like a pool?" suggested Kirk. "We can probably find some floaties."
"You really want to do this, do you not," said Spock.
"I really do."
"Fine," said Spock. "I will put on my bathing suit."
He left. Kirk slid down the wall of the bathroom and sat splayed on the floor.
"There are probably situations in which I could be happier," he said to himself, "but I can't imagine them."
x
Kirk and Spock were, after all, on the swim team, so it wasn't like Kirk hadn't seen Spock in a Speedo before. But it was one thing to see Spock in a swimsuit in the big pool with a lot of other people, and another to see Spock in a swimsuit two feet from Kirk's face and flushed a distinct green.
"I am surprised that you have insisted on trying out the hot tub before venturing into Risaka," said Spock, sliding smoothly into the water. The surface barely rippled.
"Dinner's only in two hours, how much sightseeing can we do before then?" said Kirk, dipping a toe in. God, that was hot water.
Spock shrugged. "A good point. I had simply presumed that you were eager to get in every bit of sightseeing you could."
"We have a whole week," Kirk reminded him. He closed his eyes and took the plunge. The water rushed over him; his skin seemed to puff up with heat. He surfaced, gasping. "Holy shit, I'm boiling."
"The water is only forty degrees Celsius," said Spock.
"Which is the regulatory max," said Kirk. "I can't believe you aren't hot at all."
"My circulatory system—"
"Yeah, I know," sighed Kirk, paddling over to a seat across from Spock and situating himself on it. "So! What do you want to do on Risa?"
Spock raised another eyebrow. "Nothing life-threatening."
"No promises," said Kirk. He leaned out of the tub and grabbed at a PADD, pulling up his server. "Now, I've made a list of nightclubs—let me add that geode one real quick—and organized it by location, theme, availability of alcohol, rating, closing time, opening time, cover charge, common species, and pool."
"Pool?"
"Yeah, a surprisingly large number of clubs have swimming pools," said Kirk. "I don't know. Seems dangerous, but hey." He handed Spock the PADD.
"Jim, there are four hundred and twenty-six clubs on this list."
"Do you know how much I had to whittle that down?" Kirk demanded.
"I can only imagine," Spock murmured, scrolling. "Your organization system is… impressive."
"Choose one! We can go after dinner."
"Perhaps we should catch up on sleep—" Spock stopped when he saw Kirk's expression. "Never mind."
"That's the spirit," said Kirk.
x
Kirk had packed his suitcase entirely full of partying clothes, which he realized when Sarek popped in to mention that the dress code for dinner was business casual.
"Hey, uh, Spock?" he said, knocking lightly on Spock's door. "Do you have, like… an extra… suit?"
Spock, who was trying to choose between purple and green formal robes, stuck his head out from behind his dressing screen. "Excuse me?"
Kirk twiddled his thumbs. "Apparently I forgot to bring, um, non-clubbing clothes."
"Jim," sighed Spock. "What size are you?"
"Uh, forty," said Kirk, taking a few steps into Spock's room.
"Good, I am a thirty-eight," said Spock. "Wait a moment." He pulled the purple robe over his head and came out from behind the screen.
"Oh shit, are you wearing Vulcan formal robes?" said Kirk.
"Yes, and that is all I have," said Spock, handing Kirk the green robe. "You will have to wear the rest of the accessories as well." He opened a hatbox-sized container to reveal a set of golden crowns and other jewelry.
"Okay, I am pretty sure this is cultural appropriation," said Kirk. "Am I even allowed to wear this?"
"There are no rules against it," said Spock, handing Kirk the belt, jacket, vest, and under-robe as well. "There are also shoes, let me find them…"
Ten minutes later, Kirk and Spock peeked around the door to see Sarek sitting in the living room, meditating as he waited for them. Kirk tried to brush a tassel out of his eye. Spock slapped his hand. "The positioning of the ka-li-ya is very important."
"I am pretty sure Sarek is going to kill me," Kirk mourned. He glanced over at a mirror and struck a pose. "But I really like the traditional lip gloss. It's minty!"
"Come on," sighed Spock, grabbing Kirk's hand and pulling him into the living room.
To Kirk's great relief, Sarek wasn't offended. Even better, it turned out that Spock and Sarek were the only Vulcans at the formal dinner. However, this meant that various other species thought that Kirk was Vulcan as well. Spock took to telling people they were brothers.
"We don't even look alike," protested Kirk. "Not only am I blond and pink not green, my ears and eyebrows aren't pointy!"
"Then explain to the nice Bajorans why you are wearing Vulcan robes," Spock offered.
"I hate you," Kirk pouted.
They were seated at the accessory table with other non-diplomats and talked to only each other through the first seven courses. But during the eighth, a blue Orion boy their age leaned over and introduced himself as Soaa.
"I am pleased to meet the Vulcan contingent," said Soaa, smiling brilliantly at Kirk and Spock. "Have either of you been to Risa before?"
"We have not," said Spock. "It is a beautiful planet. I look forward to exploring it."
"I can help with that," said Soaa. "I have been many times with my parents. I know all the best clubs. Would you like to come with me tonight?"
Spock glanced at Kirk, who was staring at Soaa with something very close to lust on his face. His chest went cold, but he nodded firmly. "We would be pleased to join you, Soaa," he said, and he looked over to see Kirk smiling hugely at him.
x
Soaa, like all Orions, was about a foot taller than Kirk and Spock. He had pale blue skin and gorgeous golden eyes, and smooth white hair tied into a topknot. His clubbing clothes were perfectly coordinated, all ice blues and silvers and whites, and revealing. He wore only a few bands on his top half, with his jewelry and spikes, and form-fitting pants. Spock, who had to go to Kirk for help with clothes, felt messy and frumpy for once in his life. His clothes barely revealed any skin and weren't matched, and he had refused to wear as much jewelry as was traditional or let Kirk temp-dye his hair.
Kirk and Soaa chattered all the way to a club called Chocolatier, which had a garden theme. ("No idea," Kirk mouthed to Spock.) Soaa apparently knew the bouncer and got them immediately. The place was packed. Spock realized that he didn't even know who some of the species present were. Kirk looked absolutely delighted. The place was gorgeous, all lush flowers and foliage, with cool fog blowing from the vents and grassy drinks served in molded leaves.
Spock stayed with Kirk and Soaa long enough to comment briefly on how pretty the place was and have the comment ignored. He made unheard excuses and went off to a table in the back, where nobody was sitting. The dance floor was beneath him, and pounding music blasted from the green spray-painted speakers. He leaned against the back wall and wanted to sleep. He wished he had brought a PADD or something to do. How could he think it was a good idea to bring Kirk to Risa? He wasn't a clubber; he knew Kirk would abandon him for the really fun people at the first chance he got.
He picked the polish off his nails for the next half hour, trying to ignore the people bouncing happily in front of him and hoping he wouldn't lose his hearing sitting so close to the speakers. He was just about to go get some water from the bar when a shadow loomed over him.
"I have been looking for you for ages!" Kirk yelled at him. He actually looked angry. "Where the fuck did you go? Oh my god, Spock, I thought somebody had kidnapped you or something."
"Where is Soaa?" said Spock, standing up.
"Fuck if I know!" Kirk shouted. He aimed a vicious finger at Spock's chest. "Don't ever do that again! Do you hear me?"
"Yes, I—I did not think you wanted to spend time with me," said Spock quietly. Kirk shook his head, confused; Spock realized Kirk couldn't hear him. "I thought you were with Soaa!" he called.
"Why do you keep talking about Soaa? You are so weird," said Kirk, shaking his head. "Come on, I'm glad I found you during this song, it's my favorite! You have to dance. And try this one drink! I had one before I realized you were missing." He shot another dark look at Spock. "It's like, rain water and curaçao? I don't know, but it's tasty."
Then he took Spock's hand and dragged him into the dancing crowd, and Spock was so happy that he laughed.
x