It took her some time to convince her dad that a trip across the country with her friends is completely safe. She didn't know how to explain to him that she would feel the safest with Stefan even if they were in a crashing plane, and she didn't want to bring her mom into it by asking him doesn't he remember how he felt while he was with her. Some parents would wave their hand off at that question, but she knew hers would stop to think because her parents were together since High School. She didn't want to use that as a weapon, nor did she want to use recent events as such. Instead she used good old persuasion, boring him until he finally gives in, and with a little help of Jenna, he broke surprisingly quickly.
Stefan told her they will travel in Damon's old van, even though she didn't know he ever had a van. Stefan told her it's from Damon's old stoner days from college to which she chuckled because she could totally imagine Damon in the back of his van, with greasy, unwashed hair, getting stoned with his friends and talking about.. whatever you talk about when you're high.
She knew she doesn't have to worry about Stefan going through such phase. He's a jock, the biggest poison he carries into his body is chocolate and beer, occasionally some heavier liquor. Plus, he loves his hair way too much to not wash it for days.
They needed something bigger than a normal car since there's six of them traveling together. She wanted to invite Bonnie to join them, Jeremy as well, but Bonnie got an internship in some small record label in New York over the summer, and she left few weeks after school finished. Her and Jeremy broke up, so all Jeremy is doing recently is moping around the house, even though he knows it would never work out, the whole long distance thing. He still has a year of school left, so they would only be able to see each other when she comes home, which would be few times a year. It's a shame really, they were such a nice couple, but they're so young. Eighty percent of High School relationships never works out, which is when Stefan reminds her those that do end up in marriage, which in ninety percent of the cases doesn't result in divorce. Both options send a chill down her body. She's not ready to think about either of them, even though, ever since he brought it up, she gets consumed in the thoughts about the future. Their future.
She was surprised Damon is not going, but Stefan explained that Damon got himself a job in Providence to be close to Rebekah. Nothing but her is keeping him in Mystic Falls, anyway, so if she goes, so does he. Their parents helped him with the apartment, he's going to work, and he's going to be with her. The only downside to the job is that he had to start early in the Summer, so there's no chance for him to travel with them, he's working already.
Those two really do think that far ahead, and Elena couldn't help but wonder is she, subconsciously, doing the same. Is that the real reason why she wasn't so sad when she didn't get into Harvard, because she knew there's a greater chance she will be close to Stefan? She decided to dismiss those thoughts because she knew she will never find a satisfying answer.
They started their trip early in the morning, around five, she couldn't remember exactly since she was so tired Stefan basically had to carry her to the van. She spent the whole night packing, not being able to decide what to take, or what necessities are. Curling iron is a necessity, right?
Caroline and Rebekah would agree, while every guy in the van would disagree. But then again, she's pretty sure lingerie isn't a necessity either, to which Stefan would strongly disagree. So she ended up with a maxi suitcase she was barely able to zip and one traveling bag. Stefan mumbled something about how they're going to Florida for two weeks, not the whole year, as he carried her luggage to the van.
The guys kept taking turns when it came to driving, agreeing none of the girls have to drive only to keep Rebekah away from the wheel because she would most likely kill them all. None of them complained, though.
When they reached Orlando they decided to stop there to take a break. It was early in the night and they have been traveling for the whole day, and everyone were relieved to step out of the stuffy van. They rented three rooms in a small motel by the road, deciding to stay for the night and to head right after breakfast.
All Elena wanted to do is to take a shower. She decided to let Stefan take a quick one before her, so once he was done she was able to stand under the stream until there was no more hot water. Which is exactly what she did. She shampooed herself and just stood there, twirling around, letting water flow everywhere around here, until it went from mildly warm to icy cold.
When she got out of the shower she didn't bother with any clothes since cool night air did wonders to her skin. It felt incredibly good after being trapped in a humid van for the whole day. She just wrapped a towel around herself and let her wet hair fall across her back.
When she opened the bathroom door she caught Stefan sitting on the edge of the bed, holding something in his hands, looking intensely at it. His look was displeasing, and there was a triangle in between his brows. She thought he looks cute, like a little boy trying to solve a mystery.
When he heard her open the door and step out of the bathroom, he hid whatever he was holding in his hands behind his back before Elena got a chance to notice what it is.
She looked at him confused, thinking about what could he want to hide from her. Not that he has to share everything with her or that he's not allowed to have any secrets of his own, but the though of what he wants to hide from her so hastily tickles her imagination.
"What were you doing?" she leans onto the door frame, crossing her arms across her chest.
He looks at her confused, lost, fighting with the words inside of his head.
"Were you watching porn?" she cocks her eyebrow in his direction.
"What?" he furrows his brows, knitting them together, "No," he says offensively, repeating it twice in case she didn't hear him for the first time.
Her lips wiggle under her nose and she brings her arms closer together on her chest, ready to drop the topic because she doesn't want to invade into his privacy anymore. She can see it's making him uncomfortable.
His eyes flicker, glimmer in the direction of her face, before he lowers his look down and puts his hands before him, handing her in his item of hiding. He has the posture of a playful boy who did something wrong and now is shameful of his actions.
He brings her brows closer together, leaving a small empty place between them, and walks towards him, taking them item from his hands into hers.
"It's very confusing, you know?" he puts his hand on the back of his neck, pulling his fingers over the ends of his hair, "Not as much confusing as.." he tries to find the right word, "It has no point," he finally says.
Her eyes widen when her eyes fall on the item in her hands, which is a book. She turns the thick, brown cover around and notices it's "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen. Her favorite book. One of the first book her mom had bought for her.
"I have no idea what's going on, I don't even understand half of the words," he frowns, his look glued on the book.
"Stefan, why would you do this?" she asks curiously, confused by his actions, "You don't even like to read," she says through a light laugh.
He takes his look from the book to her and locks his eyes on hers, "Well maybe that's the problem," he says a little angrily, but he doesn't seem angry at her. He seems more angry at himself.
She puts the book on the nightstand before looking confused at him. "Stefan.." she says his name, in it trying to find an answer.
"We're going to go to college," he says quietly, his eyes still on hers, "I'm going to play football and barely pass the exams, and you're going to go to all these lectures, and study groups and.." he starts speaking more loudly, annoyed by now. She stands before him, confusion still evident on her face.
"I do not know where you're going with this.." she says helplessly.
"It's where you belong," he raises his voice, "Both you and me know the only reason I'm going to college is because I know how to throw a ball."
Stefan never breaks. He's the one who stands even during a tornado, holding her by the hand, not letting the wind blow them away, or from each other. He's the glue of their relationship, she just stands there glued tightly to him. If he breaks, she falls.
He's happy, and satisfied, and sure in everything he has and wants.
But what if he isn't? And what if she had missed it?
"That's not true," she says firmly.
"You're going to meet new people who love what you love and share the same interest with you and you're going to meet some guy with an exotic name and a British accent who's going to know every word of every book in the library by memory and all I'm going to be your stupid, boring, high school boyfriend," he starts panicking and throws his arms in the air, his voice shaky, "I'm going to become a mistake."
"You're the best thing that ever happened to me," she says in her defense, "You're never going to become a mistake to me."
He parts his lips to say something but she doesn't give him a chance.
"Remember how you promised me you're never going to leave me?" she asks.
A small amount of air escapes from his throat. "Yes," he replies silently.
"I promise the same to you," she steps closer to him, putting her hands on his head and pulling her fingers through his hair, "I'm not going to leave you for a guy with an exotic name and a British accent who has read every book in his reach or anyone else," she says gently, calming him down, "You're always going to be my first choice," she whispers to him, lowering her lips down and planting a kiss on the top of his head. "Us are always going to be my first choice."
He wraps his arms around her, pulling her closer to him.
"Plus, have you seen those poetic, artistic guys in college?" she pulls herself away from him, "Pale, underweight, greasy, long black hair," she pouts at the image of them, "Why would I leave my extremely hot boyfriend for them?" she smirks.
"You, my dear," he lowers his hands on her ass, caressing her, "Became extremely shallow."
She furrows her brows. "I only appreciate you," she puts her hands on his arms and starts pulling them up and down his skin.
He licks his lips with the tip of his tongue.
He shrugs. "I know," her eyes flicker as he says so, his old voice coming back, one full of pride and security, "I kinda am a lot better than those guys," she rolls her eyes at him, "I doubt they know how to do this."
He puts one of his hands on her leg, above her knee, and his fingers start traveling under her towel. He opens his palm and starts caressing her thigh. She bites her lip while keeping her eyes on his.
"They have no idea where to touch to make you tremble," he says quietly. Because she trembles like a leaf after rain under his touch. And he didn't even have to learn how to make her do so, it came to him naturally. His touch on her skin feels so natural, almost like it's made for her and only her.
His fingers go up, and when they brush over her entrance she parts her lips a little and a small, surprised moan escapes her throat.
"No panties?" he asks, "Naughty, naughty," he teases her, smirking.
She smiles at him, using all of the strength and will power she has in her to step away from him. She bites her lower lip before slipping her fingers under the crack where the towel is folded and tearing it off of her body. It falls down her body, around her feet, so she steps out of it and pushes it aside. There are still water droplets on her fairly tanned skin, and her hair is still wet, sticking onto the skin of her back.
His eyes roam all over her body, his throat tightening, his skin sweating under the clothes he's wearing. Quickly, he stands up and pulls his shirt over his head, and sweatpants down his legs, and Elena laughs out loud at the image in front of her. He removes his clothes in such a hurry that he almost harms himself in the process.
"Come here," he calls for her, suggesting with his finger for her to come.
She starts walking towards him with a smirk on her face and once she's in a close proximity to him, he reaches for her hand, pulls her closer and pushes her on the bed. She laughs.
When his lips fall on the skin of her thigh, first moan escapes her throat.
In the morning they walk into a small, nearby diner for breakfast. She replaced her jeans with shorts now when she knows how hot it is in the van. Stefan has his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. Her head is on his chest, and her palm pressed against his stomach. He whispers something into her ear, something that makes her smile, before he plants a kiss on the top of her head.
The rest of the gang is already there, but there's no one else there except two waitresses behind the counter. They greet each other, everyone except Caroline who keeps her head down on the table, and Rebekah scoots over for Stefan and Elena to sit.
"Didn't get much sleep, huh?" Elena nudges Caroline across the table, keeping her voice down.
She knows how Caroline feels, she didn't get much sleep either. Stefan kept her awake most of the night. But despite her lack of sleep, she feels surprisingly awake and fresh.
Caroline slowly lifts her head from the table, looking tired as hell. "Seriously?" she screeches at Elena. Tyler taps her on the back lightly, trying to calm her down.
She looks at her confused, but notices amused looks on Rebekah's and Nik's faces.
"Yes, seriously," she says silently, still confused by her friends reaction.
This only infuriates Caroline more.
"Does this sound familiar to you?" she cocks her eyebrow in Elena's direction, "Oh Stefan, yes Stefan, right there Stefan, fuck me Stefan, please," she mimics Elena's voice.
Elena's eyes pop out and blush attacks her cheeks. Something gets stuck inside of her throat, and Caroline's hard look is still locked on hers.
Rebekah chuckles, while Elena can't find any words to say.
"I know you, what, for 15 years?" she asks, trying to do the math, "I heard you swear more last night than I did in all those years together," she throws her hands in the air, making Elena blush even more.
"You heard us?" she lowers her look onto the table.
"Yes," Caroline exhales tiredly, "Well, no, I've heard you. I'm pretty sure the whole America has heard you!"
She glances at Caroline before she shifts her embarrassed gaze to Tyler. If Caroline heard them, that means Tyler did as well. Did Nik and Rebekah hear them too?
Oh God, she thinks to herself, I'm never having sex again.
Not that she's panicking or being dramatic or anything.
"And oh my God," Caroline exhales exhausted, "How can you talk so much during sex? Also," she twists her face, "Your voice sounds funny while, you know.." she gives her a hint, and that takes Rebekah over the edge and she bursts out laughing.
A laugh escapes Stefan's throat and Elena shoots him a look which makes him turn all serious.
"How can you laugh in a situation like this," she shrieks at him.
He takes a defensive pose. "Well, it does sound a little bit funny.."
"Stefan!" she whines.
"Oh come on Elena," he rolls his eyes, "Like they don't know we're having sex. It's a normal part of a relationship."
She parts her lips to say something which is when she realizes she doesn't have anything to say. They know they're having sex, girls talk, guys talk, Stefan probably talks to Rebekah about it as well. She doesn't know why it bothers her so much, talking about it.
"Oh, leave her alone," Rebekah says when she notices the look on her face, "It's completely fine if she's weary to talk about it, it's her privacy anyway," she shrugs them all off.
"Thanks," Elena answers.
"Are you okay?" Rebekah stands next to Elena, "You've been quiet the whole trip," she bumps her shoulder into Elena's, making her sway.
They left right after breakfast and now, three hours later, they stopped at the gas station for gas and some more snacks. Tyler says they should arrive to their destination in the afternoon.
"I'm fine," Elena answers gently, taking a seat on a rock by the road while the others are shopping for snacks.
"Did Caroline upset you?" Rebekah never takes I'm fine for an answer, because that sentence screams the opposite.
"Yes. No," Elena wiggles her lips, "A little," she exhales.
"Does talking about it bother you?" Rebekah asks, making Elena turn her head in Rebekah's direction curiously, "Sex?"
Elena inhales deeply. "Is it wrong if it does bother me?" she closes her eyes.
Rebekah furrows her brows. "No," she shakes her head and takes a place on the rock next to Elena.
"It's just," Elena starts, feeling like she owes her an explanation since she was nice enough to notice this is bothering her, "I never had a reason to talk about it," she turns her head to look at Rebekah who seems to be listening to her carefully, "I only slept with one guy before Stefan and it was.." she tries to find the right words, "Well, compared to the things I've heard, it was nothing. I thought that maybe I'm doing something wrong," she shrugs. Rebekah gives her a compassionate look. "I can listen, I was always there when they needed someone to listen," she exhales, "I'm simply not used to talking about it."
"Is the sex not good?"
Elena looks at her wide eyed. "Of course it is. It's," she releases a light laugh, "Phenomenal," she finally finds the right word to say.
Rebekah grins. "So all the stories are true?" she asks, little curious herself.
"More than true."
"See, talking about it, not so hard," this catches Elena's attention so she smiles gratefully at Rebekah.
"Does he ever talk to you about us?" Elena asks curiously, realizing she's maybe asking a little bit too much from her.
"Yes," Rebekah says instantly.
"What does he say?" she asks with a shaky voice.
"One time he told me you're the best one he ever had."
Elena smiles thankfully even though she doesn't believe in those words.
AN: Some insecurities never go away.