This part of the Citadel was always cold and Nihlus suppressed a shiver as Saren paced in front of where he was sitting.
"I said write it or I will write it for you." Saren stopped his eyes narrowed on Nihlus.
"I know you don't approve of us, but you said it was my business how I choose to ruin my life. We've been promised as mates since we were practically children. I won't write this." Nihlus shook his head as he stared at the blank message.
"Well it's not just your business anymore. Do you wish to become a Spectre?" Nihlus nodded and Saren's mandibles fluttered in a smirk. "As I said then, write it."
"I can't Sir; Jane is my mate it goes beyond a simple letter."
"No, it doesn't she's a human and not bound by our customs."
"Forgive me for saying so Sir, but Jane is as much a Turian as you or I."
Saren slammed his fist down on the table next to Nihlus.
"She is not; she is a human no matter how much you and Vandrel refuse to see it." Regaining his composure Saren stood back from the desk and folded his arms over his chest.
"I didn't want to do this Nihlus but you've left me no choice. Shepard's commanders have informed me they've already chosen her mate and it's not you. This is no longer your concern it goes far beyond you and I will not have you starting an incident with the humans over a woman."
Nihlus's face was drawn into a look of confusion.
"Humans arrange mates? Jane would never agree to that."
"Don't ask me what humans do; their ways are of no concern to me. I do know her commanders have informed me that she has agreed to this so write the damn letter Nihlus."
The look on Nihlus's face as he stared at the screen was one of pain and anger.
"Fine Sir, give me some time alone."
As his talons moved, he wrote to Jane for the first time in months, it was a lie and he knew as he finished the letter and hit send that he would never stop loving her. Even if she had moved on or was made to take a mate, he had said forever and he'd meant it. Some day when he was in control of his life he'd find her and find a way to fix what he'd just done.
~~00o00~~
The months since they got invited back for N1 training had gone quickly, they had been stuck on a Station used for Zero-G training that had reminded Jane and himself all too much of Jump Zero. They had made it though and they were looking forward to some time off before the next phase of training which would take place on planet, base jumps high level jumps from upper atmosphere as well as tactical training.
Kaidan watched Powell pull himself off the mats where he had landed during their spar. Rubbing his temples his eyes involuntarily found Jane. She and Lambert were on the treadmills on the far side of the gym, he smirked; they were finally back on a planet after being in zero-G training and what were they doing?
"Oi mate you wanna go again?" Powell followed Kaidan's eyes towards the girls on the far side and shook his head.
"Why don't you just ask her then?"
Kaidan blinked a few times clearing his vision and turned his attention back to Powell.
"Ask what?"
"Don't play dumb Alenko, ask the pretty girl out."
"It's not that simple."
"Sure it is, you go up to her and say I think you're pretty, I'm in love with you, I can't think of anything but you, would you have my children?" Powell finished this with a chuckle at the look Kaidan turned on him.
"Right, because that wouldn't get me shot. No I say it's not that simple because she has someone else...back home."
Powell nodded and then shrugged. "Right well we all have that someone back home. We're not home are we mate and we won't be for a very long time. Things change, make sure she knows how you feel or someone else will beat you to it eh."
Kaidan narrowed his eyes and Powell lifted his hands as if to block the daggers. "Oi mate I didn't say it would be me. I've got eyes on our pretty doc. But the point remains." He was cut off as Jane hopped off the treadmill and walked towards them.
"Kaidan, want to go a few rounds before chow? Powell you don't mind?"
"Who me? No course not, I can take a break from getting my ass kicked." Powell shot Kaidan a look as he walked towards Lambert touching his nose and Kaidan groaned.
"It's not that bad Kaidan, I'll go easy on you." Jane smiled at him and his heart melted.
~~00o00~~
"Jane you ready to head out? James says he's got a line on a nice club. We'll have some drinks do some dancing, relax for a night. What do you think?" Kaidan jumped off his bed digging around in his footlocker. Jane was quiet and he turned to her, her head was down and she was staring at her data pad. They hadn't been able to get messages on the station and she was probably catching up on messages from her dad and he thought with a frown Nihlus.
Jane shook her head she had reread this message countless times and still didn't understand. She felt numb as she read it again not really hearing Kaidan in the background.
Jane,
I've been reassigned; I won't be able to write you again. Things really haven't worked out as we planned. I've heard about your officer training and I hope things keep going well for you and Kaidan. This is good-bye Jane. Take care of yourself. If I'm ever on Randiv I'll stop and check on your dad.
Be happy with him Jane.
Nihlus
"Jane? Are you okay?" Her face was blank and she nodded closing the message she sat the data pad aside leaving the messages from her dad unopened.
"Yeah Kaidan, let's get out of here."
When they got to the club they found a booth, Powell and Lambert headed right for the dance floor but Jane slumped against the table and started ordering drinks. The tears she could feel burning her eyes were washed away as she pounded back her fifth shot. Kaidan watched quietly sipping his beer.
"Jane, are you okay? I've never seen you drink like this."
"Yup, I'm great, perfect, couldn't be better." She downed another shot and he leaned forward reaching out his hand for hers.
"Jane, I know you. What's wrong?" His voice was almost a yell as the music had become much louder.
"Nothing is wrong Kaidan. Leave me alone." The next three shots came one right after another and she leaned back against the booth her eyes closed.
"This is bullshit I'm getting out of here." She stood and promptly fell right back on the booth. She giggled and Kaidan rolled his eyes scooting out of his side and helped her walk back to their bunks. By the time he laid her down on her bunk she was still laughing almost uncontrollably.
"He left me Kaidan. I haven't even talked to him since the damn ball; I've just been writing him letters that hell I don't even know if he really read. And now he's left me." Kaidan watched as Jane's giggles stopped and tears rolled down her cheek.
"Jane." He sat on the edge of her bed and wiped the tears from her cheek with his thumb. "Jane maybe it was a misunderstanding? Did you try writing him back, asking.." She shook her head and sniffed.
"No, he said he wouldn't be writing me anymore. Said this was good-bye" She rolled away from him and to her stomach.
Kaidan knew she was asleep by the even rise and fall of her back, as he moved from her bed to his he listened to the sound of her soft breathing before falling asleep himself.
The next morning Kaidan found Jane's bed empty and Powell and Lambert together on one bunk. He kicked Powell as he walked by.
"Oi, what was that for Alenko?" Powell's eyes were blood shot as he stared up at Kaidan.
"Better not get caught in bed with her." Kaidan nodded towards Lambert and Powell nodded.
"Right, right moving. Half expected to see you in the same position Alenko." He winked and nodded towards Jane's empty bunk. "But you were alone. Where'd she end up?"
Kaidan shook his head. "I don't know she had a lot to drink in a very short amount of time." He walked away leaving Powell to get dressed. He had said he didn't know where Jane was but he had lied, he was pretty damn sure where he'd find her.
Jane breathed out and squeezed the trigger the target fluttered and she reloaded.
"Seems drinking doesn't help your shot Jane."
She ignored him and adjusted her scope.
"Listen Jane, you can't just drink this into oblivion. You have to deal with it."
"I am dealing with it Alenko. Can't you tell?" She squeezed the trigger again and Kaidan watched as it hit the target, a perfect kill shot.
"God damn it Jane, I don't mean out here practicing a shot you'll never get to take. I mean talking about it, with.."
Kaidan was cut off as a runner stopped next to them and saluted.
"Jane Shepard, Kaidan Alenko. You're to report to the Commanders office immediately."
Saluting the runner turned and left the way he had come.
"Shit."
Jane was on her feet stowing her sniper rifle and Kaidan realized she was in full armour.
"Why are you dressed like that?"
Jane shrugged. "It feels better to practice this way."
Kaidan nodded. "Whatever, this conversation isn't over."
"I'd say it is Kaidan." She walked away from him and towards the office of Commander Davis.
~~00o00~~
"Commander Davis. Admiral Hackett on comm for you."
"This is Commander Davis go ahead Sir."
"I received your message Commander. The request for emergency leave for Shepard is granted, under one condition. She must take Alenko with her. I don't want her back on that planet without him is that understood Commander?"
"Yes Sir."
"Very good Commander; Hackett out."
~~00o00~~
Jane and Kaidan waited outside of the office as instructed until they were called in.
"Shepard." He glanced at her armour.
"Doing some training on your time off I see."
"Yes Sir."
"Well as good as that is perhaps you should check your messages more often. My office has been flooded in the last twenty-four hours with messages from a..." He paused looking down at the messages on his desk. "Right from a Le'lani? She's a doctor or something from your home colony. Apparently your father was hurt in some sort of raid by mercs. She's been trying to reach you. I informed her that you had been off planet for training and had just made it back into communication and I would inform you of the situation."
Jane's heart almost stopped. Her dad had been hurt?
"How long ago Sir?"
Davis looked down at the message again.
"I guess it was a few weeks back, says here he's still unresponsive in hospital. I've informed this doctor Le'lani that you will be given leave to go home. Take Alenko with you, I don't want you travelling alone. I'll have the rest of your squad on tactics training while you're gone." Davis glanced at the clock. If you move you can catch a shuttle in ten."
Jane saluted and was out of the office before being dismissed.
Kaidan hung back saluted and apologized.
"I'm sorry Sir she's been through a lot. Her dad means everything to her."
"I realize that Alenko, it's why you're being sent with her."
"Right sir, understood."
"Dismissed."
~~00o00~~
The trip to Randiv was long and Kaidan was pretty sure Jane was going to go crazy. She hadn't sat still since they left. She had been messaging Le'lani but she had been reluctant to tell her over a message so she was still in the dark about how bad his injuries were.
"Jane, sit down. We'll be there soon. I'm sure everything is going to be fine. Everything you've ever told me says that your dad is one tough son-of-a-bitch."
Jane didn't look at him and continued to pace.
"Jane are you listening to me?"
"huh? Oh yeah sure hanging on every word."
Kaidan rolled his eyes and leaned back watching her pace like a caged cat.
The shuttle that took them to the colony couldn't have gone fast enough for Jane if it was breaking the sound barrier and when they landed she was out the door before the engine was off.
Kaidan grabbed their bags as Jane was already walking down the road towards the small colony. The first thing Kaidan noticed was that it was hot; no wonder Jane was always cold. The second thing he noticed was the Turians, they were all staring at him, not her though it was like they were almost used to her presence and he took note of how she walked differently here and greeted each one by name if she knew it.
As she pushed through the front doors of the hospital an Asari jumped up from the behind the desk at the front.
"Jane! I would have come help you with your things if I would have know when.." She trailed off as she looked past Jane and to Kaidan.
"Where is my dad?"
"Back here Jane, he's still not awake but you can see him. He's stable he took a blast and a few shots to the chest. The wounds from the blast are healing but he's still unconscious. Who's this.."
Jane ignored the question and with a hiss of the back doors she was gone.
The Asari watched her go and then turned back to Kaidan who shrugged.
"Forgive her she's been a mess."
The Asari waved the words away and shook her head. "She's been like that her whole life, don't worry about it, she's very one minded and when it comes to Ganis well she'd walk over hot coals to be with him.
Kaidan nodded.
"I'm Kaidan Alenko you must be Le'lani her dads girlfriend?" He quirked a brow at her and she laughed.
"She told you she's been bugging him about that huh? Yeah he did finally ask me out. He's fantastic and I've loved Jane since I met her when she was a little girl." She paused looking at his uniform.
"Alenko, Ganis has mentioned you before." She motioned around them. "But what are you doing here?"
Kaidan's eyes went to the door that Jane had walked through. "I was asked to accompany her, like I said she's a mess."
"Right, I see. Come on drop your stuff and I'll get you something to drink we'll give Jane a few alone with her dad."
Kaidan dropped their bags and sat with Le'lani at a table in the front of the hospital she brought him what smelled like tea and nodded.
"It's human don't worry I won't poison you." She winked. "We only ever had to worry about that once with Red. After that she ate the same things as Ganis. I'm not sure she would have told you about that or not."
He shook his head. "No she didn't tell me the story but she still isn't really used to human food. And did you just call her Red?"
She smiled. "Yeah, Red it's what her dad calls her."
"I didn't know that, actually I don't know much of anything about any of this." He motioned around them.
"Well this is as good a time as any to learn. Did you know her dad found her when she was six? He gave up everything to be with her. They have a bond I've rarely ever seen in the galaxy and that's saying something. Even though he is unconscious his thoughts are on her. He calls for her, his only movements are when he calls for his "little Red"."
~~00o00~~
Jane walked slowly towards the bed where her dad was laying. She could see the rise and fall of his chest as she leaned down over him laying her head against his, her hand found his and locked firmly around his talon.
"Dad, dad I'm here. You're going to be fine, I'm here and I'm not leaving."
She let go of his talon long enough to pull a chair next to the bed and sat holding on to him until she heard the door behind her hiss open.
"Hey Jane you should eat something." Kaidan watched as she shook her head her eyes not leaving the Turian on the bed.
"I'm not leaving."
"Yeah I figured you'd say that so Le'lani made you something to eat. She said it's your favourite, I can't eat it and it smells weird but hey..." He sat the tray next to her and took a seat on the chair by the foot of the bed. He watched her in silence for a moment before leaning forward.
"So Red huh?" He chuckled as she turned narrowed eyes towards him.
"Great so she's started telling stories about me already?"
"Just a few, I didn't realize how much I didn't know though Jane, why didn't you tell me?"
She shrugged and turned back to her dad.
"I don't know, figured we'd gone through enough together, you don't need the whole childhood abandonment issues story too." The silence dropped between them like a dead weight and she sighed.
"He's everything I have left Kaidan. If he, I don't know what I'd do." Her head dropped he wanted to tell her that she had him, that she would always have him. Instead he scooted his chair closer to her and laid a hand on her shoulder.
"Don't Jane, don't think about that, and don't put it out there. He'll be fine."
She nodded quietly and he dropped his hand letting the silence fall back around them.
~~00o00~~
It was the middle of the night on their third day there when Jane who was sleeping with her head on her dads bed, was awoken by talons drifting over her face connecting the freckles there. She sucked in a breath and sat up quickly searching his face his eyes were open and his mandibles were flared as far as they could be in a smile.
"Dad?"
"Hey Red, are you really here or is this another dream?"
"No, daddy I'm here. I'm here." She was up on the bed taking care not to bump him too badly and laid her head against his. He chuckled and his hands traced down her back.
"I'm glad you're here sweetheart. I didn't know if I'd ever see you again or if it would just be this dream again."
"I'm here." She repeated and he nodded.
"I love you sweetheart but you're going to have to move I can't breathe."
She laughed and sat back in the chair keeping a hold of his talon.
His other hand traced her face and he noted her rumpled uniform.
"You look like you've slept in that for days."
Jane nodded. "I couldn't leave you dad."
"I know sweetheart I know the feeling." He patted the bed next to him and she scooted up on the bed and laid down next to him her head on his chest.
She felt him ease into sleep and she spent the rest of the night listening to his breathing.
Kaidan had woken up to the light conversation but didn't move. He didn't want to ruin that moment by drawing attention to himself. He watched as Jane moved back up on the bed and curled up with her dad. He smiled and drifted back off to sleep.
The next morning Kaidan, Le'lani and Jane had breakfast with Ganis who was awake and sitting up as much as he could trying to eat for the first time.
Jane laughed as her dad kept eyeing Kaidan to her left.
"Oh I'm sorry dad I forgot, this is Kaidan, Kaidan this is Ganis my dad." She grinned and Ganis stuck out his hand.
"It's nice to meet you Kaidan, I thank you for bringing Jane."
"No problem Sir, it's been a pleasure to see where she's from."
Ganis chuckled and looked around.
"Well she wasn't from this hospital I'll tell you that, and I doubt she's shown you anything but this. Red, you should show him the house maybe take him up to the range and show him around. Le'lani says if I can keep this food down she'll let me go home tonight. No point in you two sitting around here."
Jane's face scrunched up in a look Kaidan had never seen before, was that a pout?
"Dad I want to stay here with.." Ganis held up a finger and Jane went silent, so that's where she had gotten that from. He smirked at least he knew now and he made a mental note to shut up when she did that.
"No buts Red go." She pushed the dishes away and nodded towards Kaidan.
"I guess we could use showers and drop our stuff at the house."
Ganis leveled a look at her that said do as I say and Jane sighed.
"Fine dad I'll do it."
She quirked her head towards the door and motioned for Kaidan to follow her.
"We'll be back tonight to help Le'lani dad and if she says you can't go home yet you listen to her okay?"
Ganis nodded and pointed towards the door.
~~00o00~~
As Jane climbed the hill outside of the colony towards her house with Kaidan behind her she avoided looking towards Nihlus's old house as she turned and opened the door leading into her home.
Kaidan looked around the small house, small but warm and he could just imagine Jane growing up here.
"My room is over here, you can have the back room next to my dad's." She motioned towards a room as she dropped her bag.
"Shower is through there." She pointed towards another room and he nodded.
The shower felt great on his tired muscles he had slept in a chair the past three nights and his back was not thanking him for it. As he tied a towel around his waist and stepped out of the washroom he bumped into Jane in the small hallway coming out of her room.
She tried to side step him and he tried to side step her and they went in the same direction.
Jane chuckled and her hands were on his chest, he could feel their warmth and before he could think he leaned downed and kissed her, softly at first and when she didn't pull back he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her firmly against him. His tongue ran over the bottom of her lip and to his surprise she opened her mouth to him.
She wasn't experienced in kissing and he felt her gasp as his tongue touched hers. She pulled back from him her breathing was ragged as was his. He wasn't able to hide his need under the simple towel but she wasn't paying attention just searching his eyes.
Jane had decided as his mouth met hers that she wanted this; she wanted to forget everything, she wanted to erase all the pain she had felt in the past weeks. Kaidan was always there for her, he cared for her. That life he had on Earth, she could be a part of that, that's what she was thinking as she searched his eyes. She grabbed him by the hand and led him to her room.
Kaidan closed the door behind them and had her in his arms again his mouth against hers teaching her how to kiss him. She mewed under his lips and he smiled pulling back from her lips and kissed along her chin towards her ear and whispered.
"Jane, are you." She raised a finger at him and for once he went quiet. Stepping back from him she removed her shirt and sat on the bed motioning for him to join her.
Kaidan knelt before her and removed her boots and then her pants leaving her in her bra and panties as he removed his towel and pushed her back gently on the bed.
He kissed her again but this time it was a hungry possessive kiss and she wrapped her arms around his neck her fingers played with the hair at the nape of his neck. Moving down, his arms went around her and he tossed her bra away. He nuzzled her breast flicking his fingers over her nipple before gently taking the other in his mouth, sucking once she arched against him. Running his hands down her hips he slipped off her panties and traced a finger along her inner thigh. He felt her shudder as his fingers slipped over her, she was wet for him and he almost lost it. Pulling back from her he laid a hand flat on her belly and lowered his head to her.
"Kaidan don't I..."
But as his tongue flicked against her she lost track of her thoughts and moaned the sheets bunched in her left hand as her right hand found his head encouraging him on. Dipping a finger into her he stroked her slowly as his tongue found the little bundle of nerves and stroked he could feel her walls constricting around his finger and she gasped out his name.
Sitting up he nudged her legs to the side, his hands drifted over her face as he placed himself against her opening.
"Jane, I can't wait anymore."
Nodding she searched his eyes and hooked her ankles behind him and he slid himself to the hilt inside of her. He moaned with her and pulled her forward so she was sitting up on him. He kissed her and they began to move together. Her movements were becoming erratic and he knew she was close again. He kissed down her neck keeping up his pace in her and nibbled on her nipple causing her back to arch as she found her release. Kaidan was right behind her and yelled her name as he exploded within her.
Rolling to the side Kaidan took Jane into his arms. His thoughts were racing now that he could think. What had just happened? And a part of him was praying desperately. Love me Jane, love me.
He kissed her nose and then each of her eyes in turn. She didn't look upset and that eased his mind if only a bit.
"Jane, I love you. I've loved you since Jump Zero, I just didn't know it then. Be with me Jane, let me love you."
He felt her flinch in his arms but after a moment she nodded.
He knew nothing in that moment but elation. He would be with her, take care of her, love her.
Jane lay with Kaidan's arms around her. She fought back the tears she felt.
Love hadn't worked out for her and as she watched Kaidan smiling at her, kissing her she bit her lip, maybe a relationship built on trust and respect could work. They fit together and he was always there for her, he had her back and had already saved her once.
Maybe he could save her again.
~~00o00~~
*Ducks* I know, really I do. But this is how it goes.
Thanks again for your time everyone. Don't hurt me.
^.^