A/N: this is a way expanded chapter of a previous baby one I did a while back. There is some adult language. But not too much (and a lot less than I use daily lol)

—-

It was ironic that it was Sam, who hated her title, who had been the one to bring him back in the social whirl of Ankh-Morpork high society. But as the Commander, and later the Duchess of Ankh, it was expected of them to go to the various functions and parties and so on.

He supposed as a man he could have ducked out of some of it, but, to be blunt, having been born in the class that he was, he needed to help Sam avoid various social bombshells[1].

And besides, he loved her. He would never abandon his wife to the sharks.

Not to mention that no matter how much she complained about her dress armor, he loved seeing how sharp she looked in it. And it was the rare time he got to do her hair up.

-

He had forgotten almost, however, that at some dinners the women would go into one room and the men the other.

He never really cared for this. The times that one of his lady friends came, he wouldn't be able to have a after dinner chat with her. And on the whole, he could not stand the male elite of the City, nor they him. They thought he was a spineless, nancy, ponce who spent his days puttering about with his stupid dragons, and he thought, to adapt a term from his loving wife, they were on the whole a bunch of stupid, bigoted arseholes. And of course, they always made all matter of snide comments about him or his wife, thinking that he was too dumb to realize it or too soft to call them on it.

But conventional matters dictated that he at least spend an hour in the den before making his excuses, so he grit his teeth and bore it. Besides, if anything, the sherry was always good.[3]

Things changed, however, about three weeks after Sam became the Duchess of Ankh.

-
Sam had already left at this point in the party at the Eorle's house, there being a murder that her presence was required at. Probably for the better, Saul thought, thinking of his wife, who would probably insist on sitting in with the men.[4]

So the men had retired to the den. Lord Rust, who was already pretty sloshed from the course of dinner, continued to drink. This was rather surprisingly gauche of the man, but then he had rather lost a lot of face in the whole Leshp debacle.

It was when Rust started to ramble on about those damned Klatchians and that thrice damned Vetinari that it became obvious someone needed to cut him off.[5]

Saul looked around but it didn't look like anyone was going to step up. Cowards. Ah well, down to him then.

"Rust…Ronald, perhaps this would be a good time to call for your carriage home?"

It was then that Rust said It.

"Oh sod off you poofter," he slurred. "Everyone knows that your whore wife has fucked half the Watch and fucked Vetinari for her-"

That was as far as Ronald Rust got because Saul calmly stepped forward and punched Lord Rust in the face. He felt a nice crunch under his fist, and noted with pleasure that he just broke Rust's nose.

Everyone was staring at him agog. For the first time, they realized that the man they had disdained for many years was almost as tall as Captain Carrot[6], and unlike many of them, Saul was still rather fit from all the heavy lifting and carrying that working with dragons entailed.

Saul towered over Rust-and since when did he tower? Everyone knew he was a pansy-and looked down at him.

"You will never speak of my wife like that ever again. Do you hear me?"

Rust didn't respond, so Saul hauled him up one handed off the floor. "I said did. You. Hear. Me?

They stared at each other for a minute before Lord Rust looked away and mumbled "y's".

Saul held him up a moment longer, then unceremoniously dropped him to the floor and walked out.

—

The things that Rust had said, people still thought about Commander Samantha Vimes. But one look at Rust's nose, which had healed very crooked, and a look at Saul, gentle, disarming Saul, and they never voiced them out loud from that point.

For her part, Sam, when she saw Rust for the first time, simply went up to her husband at home that night, and gave him a kiss.

"My hero," she said smiling.

—

[1]not that she didn't manage to set them off anyway, but he could at least say he tried before Sam went off and did things like make Lady Venturi faint from an "indelicate"comment or break the Howondaland ambassador's wrist for pinching her ass.[2]

[2] he had thought she was "some jumped up claptrap copper that didn't know her place" which did not help things. Saul felt slightly better about the idiots they occasionally sent abroad, now that he knew other countries did the same.

[3]that he drank sherry as opposed to scotch or whiskey, endeared him less to his peers, perhaps, but Saul saw no point in drinking things he hated the taste of for the look of it

[4] Sam was rather confused the first time this happened, and had explained to Saul that where SHE was from, there was none of this separate bullshi-foolishness. "I go in with you from now on. I hate all those buggers, but I still have slightly more things to discuss with them than their wives."

[5] In men of their position, Vetinari did not mind seditious remarks. He would just have some way of finding out what was said, recording it, and then reminding you of it at the most inopportune moment.

[6] it was rather comical to see Saul walk hand in hand with Sam, considering he was 6'4" and she was 5'2".