Jane opened her eyes and immediately shut them against the light. Her head was killing her, she didn't remember going back to the hotel that she had shared with Kaidan but there she was. She tried sitting up and her stomach did a nosedive, taking a deep breath she opened her eyes. One glance around the room told her Kaidan was there. She could hear the shower running, ignoring the urge to be sick she jumped up pulled on her boots and started throwing things in her bag. Taking one last glance around, she looked down to the ring on her finger. Twisting it she pulled it off and dropped it on the nightstand next to Kaidans data pad and made for the door.
Kaidan stepped out of the shower and into the room. He had come back late and Jane had already been passed out and he had spent the night on the couch. He had hoped to be able to talk to her now that she possibly wasn't drunk.
"Jane?" He was answered by the sound of a closing door. Sighing he looked around the room, his eyes landing on the ring next to the bed; picking it up he closed his hand around it and fought the ache in his chest. The only comfort he felt was that they had been assigned together under Captain Anderson and just possibly he could fix this.
~~00o00~~
All was quiet aboard the Normandy, for now at least thought Anderson. Shepard and Alenko didn't seem to be fighting but they weren't talking either and that could be just as troublesome.
Answering his comm. Anderson was greeted by Hackett. He fought the urge to roll his eyes and nodded.
"Sir."
"Yes, Anderson. As you know there is a Specter joining you for the Mission to Eden Prime. Not only is he evaluating the Normandy for the Council he is evaluating Shepard for Spectre status. Kryik grew up with Shepard and her standing with the Turians as well as him is well noted; you are to pick him up on the Citadel before you head out to Eden Prime. Now as for our objective on Edan Prime. Make sure that beacon is recovered; you know what this could mean for us. Also Captain make sure Alenko is on that ground team."
Anderson clinched his jaw. "Sir yes Sir."
"Very good Captain, Hackett out."
Anderson sighed and hit his comm.
"Joker where is Lieutenant Commander Shepard?"
"Doing what she's done since she's got on this ship Sir." His pilot Joker was a bit of a smart ass, but a better pilot there was not in the entire fleet.
"I didn't ask what she was doing Lieutenant. I asked where she was."
"Right Sir, she's by the mako running laps in circles doing push ups, sit ups and beating the crap out of that poor punching bag someone gave her, it's like watching a caged animal down there."
"Thank you Lieutenant that will be all."
"Yes Sir."
Anderson left his quarters and found Jane just as Joker had said, and to be honest she did resemble a caged animal. She spun when she heard the door open, the punching bag swinging behind her.
"Sir." She snapped to attention. He noted the difference in her eyes when she looked at him now. She was cold, indifferent that spark he had seen in her from the moment he met her when she was fourteen was gone.
"Carry on Shepard I just wanted to talk."
She glanced behind her but made no move to continue.
"As you know we are headed to Eden Prime. But we have been compelled to make a stop at the Citadel. While I talk to the Council and our ambassador I want you to take a break, go for a walk or run around the Citadel. Something, ever since you came aboard you've been restless. I need you together for this mission."
She nodded but didn't speak.
Anderson sighed.
"Listen Shepard I know, I understand. I need you to take a couple of hours and get your head together. I don't care what that takes just do it. This mission goes beyond a simple beacon retrieval. You'll understand soon enough but until then get it together."
"Yes Sir."
"When we're finished on the Citadel report to the bridge and I'll bring you all up to speed on the situation. That's all Shepard."
Saluting Anderson watched as she turned back to the punching bag and began all over again. Shaking his head he turned and walked back into the hall and to the helm.
As he entered Joker turned his head.
"Was I right Sir? Just like a caged animal. Has she always been so, grumpy? I know she was raised by Turians but I didn't think it would rub off that much."
Anderson thought for a moment back to when he had first met the fiery red-headed girl on Randiv and shook his head.
"No Lieutenant she wasn't." No thanks to us he thought bitterly.
~~00o00~~
"Jane. Hey, I thought you and I could go grab something to eat, you know maybe talk. Since you haven't seemed to have the time.." Kaidan trailed off as Jane rounded a look on him that could have killed.
"No, Lieutenant I don't want to get something to eat. I want you to check the gear, help Corporal Jenkins he's down there now. We're not here for long and I want you ready for the mission, understood?"
"Jane, baby please." Her eyes narrowed on him.
"It's Lieutenant Commander Shepard, Lieutenant Alenko and you would do well to remember that." With that she spun and was lost to him in the crowd of the docks.
Back on the Normandy Kaidan joined Jenkins, he was a Corporal with an impressive record, with a bit of hero-worship of Shepard, which as they met more people Kaidan was starting to get used to. Human-Turian seemed to intrigue people not to mention rumors about her various missions, their missions he thought with a snort.
"So Lieutenant, what's it like?"
"What is what like?" Kaidan didn't lift his eyes from the gun in front of him.
"You know, being engaged to Shepard? She's amazing; everyone says her shot is something to see. I can't wait to see it in person. I can't imagine what it would be like to date someone like her, let alone marry her."
Kaidan inhaled deeply.
"Something you should know about Shepard. She doesn't like people talking about her personal life. So I'd drop it and not bring it up around her."
"Sure, it was just a question. All we've ever heard about her sounds like it couldn't be true. I just wanted to know from someone who's been there."
Kaidan squeezed his eyes closed and released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.
"Yeah, she's something."
Jenkins smiled and nodded.
"I know I can't wait to work with both of you."
He nodded and they dropped into silence as they continued to work.
~~00o00~~
Jane found herself wandering the Citadel in a daze. She wasn't sure where she was going only that she wished she could shoot something. She felt tightness in her chest she couldn't get rid of. She hated the fact she felt like she couldn't trust anyone on her own team and Kaidan just didn't seem to get the point. She didn't want to see him, she knew she was going to have to deal with him on missions but she just couldn't handle having to see him all the time. Not yet.
As she wandered down a busy walkway Jane stopped and leaned against the wall watching the mass of faceless people walk by.
"Why Jane Vandrel-Shepard. What are you doing in my neighborhood?"
Jane blinked to refocus on the person talking to her and she grinned for the first time in what felt like weeks.
"Garrus Vakarian, I didn't know this was your neighborhood." She eyed his armour.
"C-sec huh? Decided to do it after all?"
"Well you know how fathers can be, he made a suggestion and trying to be the good Turian I am, I complied. I'm in investigations, tiresome and lots of red tape but I'm good at it."
"Well that's something I guess."
"So what are you doing here Jane? It's kind of the last place I figured to run into you at."
"I'm supposed to be seeing the sights while my Captain talks to our ambassador." She shrugged.
"Hey I'm off shift in an hour, why don't I take you around? I can at least show you the bar." Garrus smiled.
"Damn I'd love to Garrus really but I've got to be back to the ship in an hour."
She watched his mandibles flutter in a smirk.
"Alright then, next time but don't think you can avoid me forever. I let you kill me once and bought you drinks after. You owe me."
Jane laughed. "You let me kill you my ass."
"Hey I just wanted a chance to meet this cute Turian-Human everyone had talked about. What's the best way to do that? So I came up with this plan to let her shoot me."
"Right, you're full of it Vakarian. That shot was clean and you never saw it coming."
Garrus lifted his hands in defeat. "That may be true, but I did take out one of your team in the process."
Jane blinked and swallowed hard at the mention of Lambert.
"Yeah, you did. Hey Garrus I've got to run. I'll take you up on that drink though, next time."
"I'll hold you to that Jane."
Turning Jane almost ran into a bench on the other side of her. She dodged it and heard the chuckle behind her. She could feel herself blushing so without turning she waved and made her way quickly back towards the docks glad that she hadn't fallen flat on her face.
As Jane entered the Normandy she shivered, cold again as always, humans. Jane was lost in thought as she made her way towards the helm, had Garrus called her cute? As the doors to the helm opened she nodded towards Jenkins on the left and caught the look Kaidan was giving her. She knew that look, he was annoyed and as she looked up towards where Joker had the helm she saw why.
"Ah, there you are Shepard. We're ready Flight Lieutenant. Let's take her out and see what she can do."
"Aye Sir, watch me work."
"Shepard, I believe you know Nihlus Kryik our Specter from the Council." Anderson motioned to the Turian next to him and Jane stepped forward next to them.
"Of course Sir." She watched Anderson out of the corner of her eye and saw him try and hide a smirk.
"Very good Shepard, carry on. I'd like to speak to you and Kryik before you drop."
"Yes Sir."
Anderson left the room; they stood to the right of Joker waiting for him to make the jump towards Eden Prime.
Nihlus glanced once towards Jane and she read the subtle flutter of his mandibles and suppressed a smile.
"Flight Lieutenant, I understand you're one of the best pilots in the Alliance." Nihlus was leaning over Joker now watching him.
Jane heard Joker snort but he didn't turn his eyes from what he was doing.
"Not one of. I am the best, thank you very much."
They stood in silence as Joker made the jump through the mass relay and Nihlus nodded.
"Very good Lieutenant."
Joker spun in his chair.
"You're damn right I am." Jane rolled her eyes at him and as Nihlus moved past her he ran his hand along her lower back.
"Shepard, I believe we should meet up with Captain Anderson; after you." Yet another subtle brush of his gloved talons against her arm and Jokers mouth almost hit the ground as they exited the room.
"Tell me one of you saw that. Really tell me I'm not the only one who just saw the Spectre feel up the Lieutenant Commander."
Joker watched as Jenkins directed a confused look towards a very flustered looking Alenko.
"Hey wait, aren't you and Shepard involved? Don't you find it odd that.."
Kaidan turned leaving the room before Joker could finish.
"Well that was rude. Jenkins, tell me I saw that."
"Oh yeah you saw that, apparently so did the Lieutenant."
"I don't like him." Joker stated as a matter of fact.
"You don't know him, that Spectre right there took out a full platoon on his own. I'd say that's good enough in my books."
Joker shrugged and turned back to his console. "Whatever, I still don't like him. Specters. Bah."
~~00o00~~
Jane sidestepped Nihlus as they were making their way towards the ready room and pulled Nihlus into a side room and locked the door.
"You're a Spectre? Spirits Nihlus that explains so much; why didn't you tell me?"
"I couldn't, I told you I would explain in time love." He pulled her to him his head falling and rubbing gently against hers. She responded drifting her fingers lightly over his mandibles.
"Does this mean you forgive me love?" He growled low in his chest as her hands slipped around his neck.
"I love you Nihlus." With that he pulled back his mandibles spread wide in a grin.
"I'm here love not only for the ship, I'm here because you're under review."
"What? What review?"
"For Spectre status, you've impressed some very important people. Your Turian nature doesn't hurt your chances at all I'm sure, your father's name is very well-respected, and comes with high praise from General Victus. I'm here to make sure you're not only being put forth because of Hacketts influence."
Jane sucked in a breath. "Me a Spectre? And you know then, about Hackett?"
"Only because there was an argument about it on the Council, are you okay love? I couldn't believe it when I heard. Though of course it's still classified; apparently they don't want it out and thought you're being put forth or promoted because of him."
He nuzzled back down into her moving his gloved talons up and down her neck causing little shocks of electricity to course through her.
"The things they've done."
"Shh, I know love I heard some of it." Nuzzling down her neck he, pulled back and gave her a confused look.
"Well that explains why Alenko was less impressed than normal to see me. You don't smell like him anymore."
She nodded and he pulled her closer to his armored chest. "So, you won't believe what I did."
"What did you do?"
"Do you remember that house on the hill in Randiv? The one we always used to walk by on our way to our spot?"
She nodded her eyes closed remembering their home.
"Yeah, you have no idea how much I miss it there."
Pulling back from her his eyes searched hers.
"I bought that house Jane, for you, for us. We'll be able to be together when you're accepted to be a Spectre love. Missions might separate us but we'll both be on the Citadel. And I thought that we'd need somewhere to call home."
Throwing her arms around him Jane nodded against his neck.
"I can't believe it; dad is going to be ecstatic. Right now though we should go meet Anderson before they come looking for us and it wouldn't be good to be caught in the closet with the Spectre who is supposed to be doing my review. I'm sure this isn't the type of review they had in mind."
Nihlus chuckled. "It's the kind of review I want to be doing though."
She shoved him away playfully unlocked the door and exited the room.
~~00o00~~
Anderson was waiting for them when they entered the ready room and Jane noticed the slight smile before he was able to hide it.
"Shepard, I assume that Kryik here has explained that he's not only here to recover the beacon but to assess you for Spectre placement as well."
"Yes Sir. He did."
Anderson nodded. "We have an added problem Shepard. We've just received an emergency transmission, there are some strange reports coming from down there. Reports of Geth activity; we're not sure what's going on but there is one Ashley Williams down there and she's pinned down, we're getting most of our reports from her. I need you to get down there, figure out what's going on and get that beacon out of there. Your team is Jenkins and Alenko, Kryik here will also be accompanying you to the surface. Understood Shepard?"
"Yes of course Sir."
"Dismissed get ready to drop."
Outside of the ready room Jane paused and brushed her hand against Nihlus's hand and smiled. I'll see you on the shuttle. She winked and he grinned watching her walk away.
~~00o00~~
Jane briefed her team in the shuttle as they prepared to land. She tried to avoid Kaidan's glances and stares as she checked and stored her weapons.
When they hit the drop zone, Nihlus stopped her and nodded towards a rise. "Your distress beacon is coming from back that way. You need to find out if it's really the Geth down here help Williams that Anderson was talking about. I'll head on ahead find and secure the Beacon for transport."
Jane looked over her shoulder towards where she could hear gunfire and then back towards Nihlus.
"I don't think that's the best plan Nihlus. I think we should stick together if this is Geth."
Nihlus lifted a finger at her and much to Kaidan's displeasure and Jenkins confusion leaned his helm against hers. "Go love we'll cover more ground this way. I'm fine; remember who trained me after all." She saw him smirk and she stepped back and nodded.
"Alright then, we'll see you on the other side. Alenko, Jenkins on me. Move out."
As they moved towards the sound of gunfire Jane could feel Alenko's eyes boring a hole through her armor.
"So, he's just allowed to kiss you in public and I could barely hold your hand?"
"Not here Lieutenant." The words were barely out of her mouth when they we're rushed by what were in fact Geth.
"Well looks like that intel was right." Diving behind boxes to their left Jane lined up three shots while Kaidan cleared out the ones that had circled behind them.
They were moving down the hill when Jenkins pushed Jane out of the way of an incoming wave. She fell to the left and watched as Jenkins took repeated shots to his chest and stomach.
"Shit, Alenko get Jenkins out of there!"
Kaidan fired at the Geth, blasting the last with his biotics sending it flying back against a wall.
Jane was next to Jenkins but it was too late, his breathing was already becoming a gasp as he looked up at her and went still in her arms.
"Spirits." Jane found his dog tags and snapped one off.
"Help me move him to the side Alenko we'll make sure he gets off planet. No one left behind right."
"Right Jane." Kaidan's tone was soft and she let him calling her Jane slide.
As they moved forward Jane saw a flash of Alliance armour dash into a building.
"That must be Williams. I've got point; let's figure out what the hell is going on down here."
As they moved into the building a woman with dark hair ducked behind a wall.
"Gunnery Chief Willams? I'm Lieutenant Shepard you can come out."
"Oh thank God. I wasn't sure you guys were ever going to show up." She eyed the N7 badges on their armour and let out a nervous laugh.
"Well at least they sent the best."
Jane motioned towards the door.
"What the hell is going on out there?"
"I have no idea; it was quiet until bam Geth everywhere. You guys know as much as I do."
Shepard nodded
"We should head out, we need to clear to the Beacon and figure out what the Geth are doing here."
~~00o00~~
Nihlus had cleared the Geth on his trek towards the location of the Beacon when he heard a voice behind him.
"Nihlus."
"Saren? What are you doing here?"
"The council wanted to make sure you were going to give an exact accounting of Shepards performance. I'm not sure you can be objective when it comes to the human. You didn't really take my warning the first time."
"At this point Saren, it's not really about Shepard, we should be more worried about the Geth, and do you think they're looking for the Beacon? This isn't looking good. We need to secure the Beacon and get it out of here."
Nihlus turned looking towards the platform and Saren lifted his weapon.
"Don't worry about the Beacon Nihlus and don't worry about Shepard, I'll take care of them both."
~~00o00~~
Jane paused when she heard the shot echo around her. One shot. She waited for the continuing fire but when there was only silence her heat rate doubled.
"Let's move it people, Williams you said the Beacon was moved? Let's go show me."
As they came over the hill Kaidan stopped dead in his tracks.
"What the hell are those? Did you see that? Those spikes there are...good god there are people on them, and they're still alive."
Ashley shoved Kaidan to the side as one of them was lowered and ripped from the spike.
"What have the Geth done to them?"
"Fire and move we need to get to that platform."
As the fight subsided Jane looked up over the rise.
"Spirits what kind of ship is that?"
"I've never seen anything like it." Kaidan stared up at it as Jane shook her head
"Shit look at what it did. Come on we gotta keep moving."
As they moved up the ramp towards the train platform Jane saw him and her heart and soul broke.
"Nihlus! No!" Jane left running towards the prone body on the ground before her. Dropping to her knees she rolled him over checking for what she knew she wouldn't find.
"No Spirits no, Nihlus. I just got you back don't you dare do this to me. Don't you leave me here and go where I can't follow."
Her breath was wasted as she held his head in her lap the tears pouring down her cheeks. Kaidan was next to her his hand on her shoulder.
"Jane, he's gone. We need to move before they come back."
Shaking his hand off of her Jane sobbed.
"I don't care."
Williams drew her weapon. "Movement in front of you Lieutenant Shepard."
"No, don't shoot."
Jane was on her feet and advancing towards the man before Kaidan knew what was happening.
"Who the hell are you and were you here when this happened?"
"I'm Powell and I work here, your Turian friend there he was shot by the other Turian. Saren he called him. You're Shepard? He mentioned you seemed pissed at his friend there. He turned his back and he shot him."
His name would have to be Powell. Jane closed her burning eyes. The tears had stopped but she wanted to scream.
"Saren, fuck. Where is the Beacon? And where did Saren go?"
"The Beacon is on the other platform and Saren hopped the train right after shooting your friend there."
Jane spun and was making her way to the platform without another word.
"Jane, maybe we should."
"No Alenko, secure the Beacon let's finish this shit and get the hell of this planet."
The Beacon stood at the end of the platform and as they approached it Jane felt sick.
"Shepard to Normandy, we have the Beacon secure requesting pick up, we have casualties on the ground. Jenkins and.." She paused swallowing hard before continuing. "Kryik both KIA. Requesting immediate pick-up."
Jane turned back to the Beacon and approached, standing before it she folded her arms over her chest. There was no possible way this fucking thing could be worth this she thought.
Just then there was a flash and a scream, Jane realized too late that it was her scream and the world went dark.
~~00o00~~
"Captain what the hell happened down there?"
Anderson closed his eyes briefly before responding.
"Admiral the Geth invaded, looking for the Beacon, Shepard recovered the Beacon but it self-destructed when it was activated. Kryik was killed by Saren who we believe has gone rogue with the Geth."
Hackett narrowed his eyes and cleared his throat.
"Well then Captain you need to convince the Council of that, make sure Shepard is there. Make sure she does everything in her power to get the evidence we need. That should secure her Spectre status. Tracking down the rogue Spectre."
"Sir, I'm not sure that the Council is going to respond well to us looking for one of their own."
"I don't care what they like or want. Get Shepard to the Citadel and make sure Shepard does what she must, I'll call in our concerns and have them have C-sec start looking for leads."
"Sir, I'm not sure she's going to be in the best mood. You know her relationship with Kryik."
Hackett waved this away. "No Captain if I know anything about Shepard, this will drive her harder. Nothing will stand in her way of finding Saren. Actually in a way this worked out for the best in all ways. You have a meeting to attend to Captain. Hackett out."
Anderson squeezed his eyes closed and took a deep breath, slowly releasing it through his nose before punching his comm more roughly than needed.
"Joker, take us to the Citadel."
"Aye, Aye Sir."
~~00o00~~
Jane stood at the window staring out at the Citadel, she felt nothing. Her heart was empty and if she would have cared she might have been scared at the reflection in the window.
Nihlus was dead and now she was having nightmares. Geth, slaughter and something she didn't understand and to top it all off the repeated death of Nihlus in her mind. She should have been there; she should have had his back. All this time apart to have a chance to have him back and she had made the biggest mistake of her life and let him go by himself; how could she have been so stupid? Slamming her fist into the wall she turned and hit send on the note to her dad.
Dad,
Nihlus is dead. I've got his dog tags to send to his mother. I'll take care of it.
Jane
And she had meant it, she would take care of it no matter what that meant.
~~00o00~~
Ganis opened the latest message from Jane and stared shocked at the screen. Her messages had been different lately. Short cold almost angry, but nothing like this. He couldn't believe Nihlus could be dead, or that Jane would tell him this way. Spirits what had they done to his little girl?
~~00o00~~
"Shepard, where are you going?" Anderson stood at the elevator watching Jane walk away.
"We have a meeting with the council tonight, I need you there."
She nodded but didn't stop he sighed and directed a look at Kaidan.
"Would you follow her Lieutenant, don't bother her; just keep an eye on her. I need her intact for tonight."
"Yes Sir."
Jane moved through the walkways of the Citadel like a ghost. She didn't really feel there, this wasn't happening to her. It was like she was watching herself from a distance; this was a dream a bad dream. But as she found herself at the C-sec office asking for Vakarian she knew it was anything but.
"Jane? I didn't expect you back so soon." He took stock of her appearance, tired dirty un-showered.
"Are you okay?"
She didn't answer the question instead asking one of her own.
"Do you know Saren."
Garrus's brow plate lifted as he folded his arms in front of his chest.
"Everyone knows him Jane; he's a Spectre and a legend. Why?"
"Do you know where I can find him?"
"Ahh, well you see that's the problem. He's a Spectre they can kind of go where ever they want without telling anyone. And if I knew where he was I wouldn't be here. What's going on Jane?"
She shook her head and he grabbed her by the elbow.
"I think we need that drink Jane."
The bar was loud and Jane for once was thankful, the pounding sounds drowned out most of her own thoughts.
Garrus watched Jane closely as she downed two drinks.
"So, why are you looking for Saren?"
"He killed Nihlus and I'm going to find him and return the favor."
She poured another drink and Garrus reached out a hand stilling hers.
"You have proof that he did this Jane?" The dim light reflected the hate in her eyes as she shook her head.
"No I don't. But that's not going to stop me from killing him."
Garrus sighed. "I know Jane, I was told that the Alliance believe he'd gone rogue, but I can't prove it. But I believe you."
Jane lifted her eyes to his, just hearing those words made it so she could take a whole breath.
"I'd like permission to come with you Jane; I know you have a meeting with the Council but whatever they decide I want to come with you."
Jane shook her head and downed the drink in her hand.
"I'm not sure you should Garrus. It seems I have a tendency to get people killed."
Garrus pulled his mandibles close to his face in a frown. This wasn't the same woman he'd met back at the games, something had changed, and though he didn't know why, he wanted nothing more than the chance to see those green eyes light up again, so he nodded.
"Yeah well, you already killed me once, I think I can risk it."
~~00o00~~
Thank you so much everyone for all of your reviews once again. I really enjoy all of your views and opinions.
As a side note, fair warning I'm going to go off on my own. There will be some constants but this won't be a rewrite of the games in their current form.
Thanks again all.
^.^