Jane paused as she walked out of the bar leaving Garrus behind to get to her meeting with the Council, she paused waiting but didn't look back.
"Get out here Alenko I know you're there."
Kaidan stepped up next to her and made a disapproving sound through his nose.
"You shouldn't have been drinking before your meeting with the Council. I mean really Shepard."
"Don't tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing."
Kaidan ignored her and continued.
"And who's the C-sec? Since when do you know anyone on the Citadel?"
"Don't worry about it, let's go." Jane started forward not waiting for Kaidan to finish his line of questioning and they walked the rest of the way to the Citadel Tower in silence. Kaidan stopped outside the room where Williams was waiting.
"Captain Anderson is already inside Lieutenant Shepard."
Jane didn't respond just walked through the door and into Council chambers.
Williams waited until the doors were closed and then turned to Kaidan.
"I can't believe that's the woman everyone always talks about. Somehow I'd expected someone a bit more. I don't know, personable?"
Kaidan shrugged. "She wasn't always like this. I've known her since she was about fifteen and this person isn't her."
Williams nodded but didn't really understand so she just let it sit at that.
~~00o00~~
The Council chambers were large and impressive. Any other time Jane would have been impressed that she was now standing in a place she had read about since she was a child; but now she wished she was anywhere but. Anderson and Udina stood before the Council as she approached.
"Shepard, we've been through the reports of what happened on Eden Prime. We understand that you have suspicions about Nihlus Kryiks death. As you say you had an eye witness but did not see it yourself we cannot simply assume that Saren was involved not only in Kryiks death but in any way with the Geth."
Jane stood at attention and didn't move she knew they would never take her word on any of this. The Council waited as if Jane would add something but when she didn't speak they continued.
"That being said Shepard we do not take these claims lightly. As for the review into your ability to join the Council Spectres, the Council agrees that with your unique upbringing with your knowledge of not only Turian culture and language but the fact that you were brought up with knowledge of all the Council races is a huge asset. As well as the fact that you have been highly recommended not only by the late Kryik but General Victus himself. In light of that the Council has approved and decided to move forward with you as the first Human Spectre."
Jane quirked an eyebrow but still didn't move.
"We would prefer to handle an investigation of one of our Spectres internally. So your first task is to get to the bottom of these claims and bring Saren back to the Council for our own questioning. Thank you Shepard, Captain Anderson, Ambassador Udina that will be all."
Udina's smile was so broad Jane was wondering how his face wasn't cracking as he led Anderson and herself out of the chambers and to his own office. "Shepard, congratulations are in order. This is something, the first Human Spectre. I have some things I need to discuss with Captain Anderson and Admiral Hackett. Report back here in two hours and we'll get you the ship and crew you need to start your investigation."
Jane still hadn't spoken as she nodded saluted Anderson and left the room. Something the Council had said was still gnawing at her. Bring Saren back to the Council. Bullshit she'd bring him back here. The next time she saw him would be through the crosshairs of her rifle and that would be the last time, evidence or not.
Williams and Kaidan hopped up as Shepard entered the room, she didn't look at either of them as she strode through to the elevator.
"Shepard, what did they say?" Kaidan waited as she got on the elevator. He waited not entering with her and as the doors were closing he watched her half shrug without looking at him.
"They said I'm a Spectre." And with that the doors closed and Kaidan sighed as Williams nudged him.
"Can you believe it? The first Human Spectre. Next step is a seat on the Council. Humanity is here to stay people."
Kaidan folded his arms over his chest still staring at the closed doors thinking of something he had told Andy once. She only looks human. Maybe he should have taken that advice himself. But instead of voicing the thoughts in his head he just nodded.
"Yeah I can believe it." He ignored the look Williams gave him and waited for the doors of the elevator to open again.
"Come on, we should get back to the Normandy."
~~00o00~~
Jane once again found herself wandering the Citadel no destination in mind she just wanted to walk, to forget; to lose herself, she had a migraine and felt like she was going to be sick.
"Hey kid, looking to dust-up?"
Jane opened her eyes and looked down to see a Volus watching her.
"Do I want to what?"
"You know, sand-blasted. I've got real good stuff. You look like you could use it, really kid you'll never feel better."
Before she knew it she was nodding, paying and had a bag in her hand as the Volus walked away. Jane stood looking down at the small bag in her hand. She'd read about Red Sand when she was at Vila Militar but had never seen it. Glancing right then left she stepped to the side opened the bag and pinched a small amount out and sniffed. She had an instant rush, her headache vanished and in spite of everything she felt amazing. Wiping her fingers off she stowed the bag and made her way back towards the Citadel tower.
"Ah, Shepard there you are. We've spoken with Admiral Hackett." Captain Anderson cleared his throat cutting Udina off. "Oh of course Anderson, go ahead."
"Shepard, after some discussion with the Admiral it has been decided that I will step down as Captain of the Normandy. As the first Human Spectre you will be put directly in charge of the Normandy and her Crew to facilitate your investigation. Congratulations Commander Shepard."
Jane felt elated and smiled at Anderson.
"Sure Sir, question."
Anderson watched Shepard, her stance was lax and he could never remember her not saluting him when she entered a room.
"Do I get to pick my crew?"
"You may add to your crew as you see fit. Alliance personnel already on board are at your disposal as well as a.." Anderson trailed off and then coughed into his hand. "there has been a special request from Admiral Hackett."
Jane visibly rolled her eyes. "Of course the Admiral has a request. Why not."
Anderson blinked a few times confused. "Shepard, are you feeling okay?"
"I feel great Sir."
"Right, well Shepard the Admiral has a mission for you. When you're back on board the Normandy you are to contact him. Understood?"
"Of course Sir."
"Good luck Shepard, I'll be here if you need anything."
Jane saluted the effects of the Red Sand quickly wearing off as the feeling of euphoria drained her body.
"Thank you Sir." Anderson stuck out his hand and she accepted it.
"Be careful Jane I'll see you back on the Normandy before you depart."
"I will Sir, thank you."
~~00o00~~
Garrus exited C-sec for the last time and headed towards the docks. As he made his way towards the Normandy docking bay he saw Jane, leaning forward on her palms staring at where the Normandy was docked. Standing next to her he watched the ships floating by the impressive looking Normandy.
Jane glanced his way and then back out the window.
"The Council made me a Spectre and the Alliance gave me command of the Normandy."
Garrus was dually shocked. "Wow, that's a lot to happen in one day Jane."
"Yeah. Come on let's go."
Garrus followed Jane on to the Normandy they both shivered as they entered and Jane sighed.
"I know they always keep it so damn cold. I'll make sure your quarters are warmer than this."
"Thanks Jane." Jane nodded as Kaidan stepped out in front of them.
"Shepard? Who's this?" Kaidan eyed the Turian behind Jane.
"Alenko this is Garrus Vakarian C-sec. Garrus this is Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko." Her tone was neutral as she motioned from one to the other.
"Former C-sec actually." He stuck out his hand and Kaidan accepted it.
"Alenko could you gather everyone on the bridge. Garrus follow me."
Kaidan watched the two walk off. There had been something wrong with Jane's eyes, besides that she couldn't meet his. Her eyes had been red like she had cried.
"Garrus you can drop your gear in here." Jane motioned towards the Mako and her makeshift gym.
Garrus entered and dropped his gear eyeing the punching bag. "Yours?"
She shrugged. "Yeah well, there is a lack of people to spar with on this ship."
Garrus smiled. "Not anymore, I'm always up for it. If you think you can handle it."
"Yeah we'll see." Jane leaned against the wall closing her eyes for a moment, she felt tired and her headache was starting to edge its way back.
Garrus lifted his eyes to her and frowned "Jane, I've got to tell you. I'm sorry, about Nihlus. I know you two grew up together. And I remember our conversation. You know about your mark and if you had a mate or a boyfriend. When I was starting my investigation I came across some files about Nihlus. They mentioned you."
She opened her eyes and stared straight ahead. "Well as far as that goes. I have neither now thanks to Saren and the Alliance."
"What does the council want you to do?" Garrus couldn't help but notice the red bloodshot look to Jane's normally very clear green eyes.
"They want me to investigate the allegations behind all of this and bring him back here for questioning."
Garrus lifted a brow plate.
"I feel a big but here. Like that's not going to happen."
"You're right it's not, I told you I'm going to find him and I'm going to kill him."
Nodding Garrus sighed. "I can't say I blame you Jane. I'm here if you need me."
Jane pulled herself off the wall and turned towards the door. "Meet on the bridge in fifteen."
~~00o00~~
Reaching the quarters that were now hers Jane quickly hid the bag still on her. She washed her face and hit her comm. to Admiral Hackett.
"Commander Shepard, congratulations on your appointment as a Spectre. I hope you find the Normandy up to the task."
"I'm sure she will be Admiral." Jane nodded but couldn't bring herself to make eye contact with him.
"Commander I have a situation that I believe is related to Saren. We've had another Geth attack at another human colony. This time they took a hostage; there was a message for you. It's sent anonymously of course and we couldn't trace it. But the message mentions Randiv and your.." Hackett paused
"the message mentions Ganis. I need you to head to Randiv get our soldier back and capture Saren red-handed. If you can you will have all the proof they need as well as him. Good luck Shepard, don't let me down I need this soldier back. Hackett out."
Jane released a breath she didn't know she was holding and narrowed her eyes. Hackett wasn't telling her something. Again damn him. She was walking into a situation almost blind. Hostage retrival involving Randiv, her dad and Saren. Clenching her Jaw Jane made her way to the bridge to address the crew.
When she arrived at the bridge Anderson was there and they were waiting for her.
Anderson turned to the gathered crew and motioned towards Jane.
"Everyone this is Commander Shepard. She has command of the Normandy as she has just been appointed as the first Human Spectre. I trust all of you will be proud to serve under her as you served under me. I wish you all God speed in the missions before you. Commander."
Anderson stepped to the side and Jane stepped forward.
"Thank you Captain Anderson. Can everyone give me a Oorah for our Captain?"
"Oorah."
"Thank you, I hope to be half as good as a Commander for the Normandy as you have been Sir. I want you all to know that if you need me I'm always here. As a team there isn't anything we can't do."
Jane was answered with another "Oorah" from those gathered and she turned to walk Anderson off the ship.
"Take care Jane. If you need anything don't hesitate to ask."
"Thank you Sir." Her tone was flat and nothing like it just had been on the ship. She was reminding him of that broken little girl who had left Jump Zero. He stood in the docking bay and watched as the Normandy departed saying a silent prayer that Jane could make it though this too.
~~00o00~~
It was late, Jane had set Joker on a heading towards Randiv and had everyone rack out. But she couldn't sleep, every time she closed her eyes she was having weird flashes again of things she didn't understand. Exiting her quarters she made for the mess intent on grabbing a cup of coffee. Garrus was sitting at the table and she paused only a moment before entering and setting about making the coffee.
Garrus glanced up upon hearing her and smiled.
"At least you have Turian food on board. Your addition I'm guessing?"
"Yup, I've been forced to eat human food too long."
He chuckled as she sat with her cup and pushed the plate towards her.
"Hungry then?"
She shook her head and took a drink.
"Can't sleep either Garrus?"
"Nope, not that I sleep a lot anyways, I'm just trying to make sense of everything; someone like Saren going rogue just doesn't add up to me. Why would he be working with the Geth?"
Kaidan had left his bunk unable to rest. Jane hadn't spoken to him still and it was keeping him up.
He stopped in the hall outside the mess when he heard her voice.
"I don't know. I do know I'm going to find him and I'm going to stop him."
"Of that I have no doubt Jane. You seem very focused. Good Turian training." He chuckled again but she didn't smile. "Randiv though, what could he want there? And why take a human soldier? I can't seem to figure that out either."
Jane shrugged again but there was this nagging part of her mind telling her that Hackett knew and wasn't telling them. Not that this would be the first time.
Kaidan heard the silence in the room and took another step forward, he could see them sitting across from each other at the table and he stopped again waiting.
"I don't know Garrus." She paused taking another drink and then set her cup down.
"Is it funny though, that out of everyone on this ship I feel like you're really the only person I should trust?"
Kaidan frowned as he heard her. How in the hell could she trust this Vakarian over him? She'd only just met him.
Garrus laughed. "That's only because I let you shoot me."
She smiled and shook her head. "There are way more reasons than that."
With that Kaidan walked forward and into the mess. He stalked forward and poured a cup of coffee directing his eyes at the table he met Jane's curious glance and didn't look away. It was a challenge he knew and she didn't back down.
"Shouldn't you be in your rack Lieutenant?"
"Going there now Commander." His eyes didn't leave hers until he was out of the mess and in the hall. He heard her sigh and push back from the table.
~~00o00~~
Kaidan, Jane and Garrus sat in the shuttle on the way to Randiv, it was quiet and tense in the shuttle and not because of the mission ahead of them. They were used to walking into situations blind. It was tense because Kaidan was finally mad. He was tired of asking for forgiveness for something he hadn't done.
As the shuttle landed Jane nodded towards the hill. "Hackett said this had to do with my dad. We'll head to the house first."
As they climbed the hill Kaidan noticed a lack of people, when they had been here before there were plenty of people out in the small colony that Jane had stopped and talked to. Now there was no one.
"Doesn't this seem odd to you Shepard? There is no one around; it's a little too quiet."
"I noticed." She stopped down the road from her house and pulled out her rifle. The house was dark as were those around it. She motioned for Garrus to go left and Kaidan to fall behind her. As she opened the door Garrus ducked into the doorway going low and Kaidan entered behind high. Jane turned making sure no one had followed them up the hill.
"Front Clear." Garrus stood in the hall as Kaidan checked each back room.
"Rooms are Clear Shepard." Jane stood looking around her home. It looked like no one had been here in weeks.
"Alright let's head down to the Colony check with Le'lani. I want you both on your guard. Kaidan you've got point."
"Roger that Shepard."
As they made their way down the hill Jane was becoming more concerned. The colony was mostly dark and anyone they did see headed in the other direction instantly. The hospital was dark and as the doors opened Jane motioned for them to move in and flank out.
"Clear."
The doors to the med bay opened just then and two shots rang out. Garrus ducked down and to the left and Kaidan went right Jane rolled through the middle and ducked behind the bed closest to her.
Jane could hear Garrus on the other side of the room. It sounded like he was fighting hand to hand.
"Garrus?"
"Two of them Shepard, they didn't actually see us just heard the door open, I have them, one is unconscious the other is injured but awake."
"Good, Alenko get some damn light in here."
"On it Shepard." Kaidan found the light control and clicked it on, the lights in the room flickered and came on.
The two Turians lay at Garrus's feet where he was securing them.
"Good C-sec training I see."
Garrus laughed. "Not my first time Shepard."
"Hey Shepard I found something, or rather someone." Jane looked back to where Kaidan was standing in the middle of the room. Someone was tied to a chair bag over their head. Jane inhaled deeply. The situation was becoming a little too familiar. Walking forward Jane pulled the bag off and sucked in a breath taking a step back. Besides the fact that he was male, she could have been looking in a damn mirror. Kaidan checked his vitals and nodded.
"He's alive, unconscious but alive." He took a long look at his face and then looked at Jane.
"Wow, Shepard he looks.." But Jane cut him off.
"Just like me, yeah I fucking noticed."
"So I'm going to guess the good Admiral failed to mention this part."
"Yeah, you'd be right Kaidan."
He almost made a joke again about her using his name but quickly shut his mouth as Garrus slid the two turians against the wall. Jane spun and walked towards them crouching in front of the one that was awake and eyeing her.
"Where is Saren?"
The Turian just laughed and tilted his head back against the wall.
"I asked you where Saren is." Using the butt of her rifle she slammed it into his knee and asked again.
"Tell me where Saren is or I'll kill you."
He just laughed again and closed his eyes.
"I'm right here Shepard."
Before any of them could react Saren was behind Jane, she had left her back open to the door. Stupid she thought. He had his gun to her head. "Stand up Shepard. Slowly, and if your friends get any smart ideas I'll drop you like I dropped Nihlus. I didn't expect you to take out my guards so quickly. I see I underestimated your team human."
Jane stood as he turned her towards Kaidan and Garrus the gun still at her head. He motioned towards the chair next to Kaidan.
"Shepard I don't believe you've met John Hackett; your brother, twin brother actually. Funny that they never told you that he lived; I'm not surprised though. With what they did to the two of you; together you might actually remember. Those human doctors playing with technology they didn't understand. Talking willing parents into trying to make super soldiers, you're just one step closer Shepard."
He scooted her to the side and Jane's eyes were on Garrus and she nodded.
Jane snapped her head back ducked to avoid fire if Sarens side arm went off and throwing her elbow back connected with the side of Sarens head throwing him off-balance enough that she could roll away. Garrus got off a shot and hit Saren in the leg dropping him and Jane crouched next to him her side arm to his head.
"Now tell me what the hell is going on."
To Jane's fury Saren laughed. "This goes far beyond anything you can fathom Shepard and you're a part of it, they made you a part of it." He smirked as he looked into her eyes.
"You know Shepard Red Sand is a nasty habit."
Jane inhaled but didn't move.
"What's keeping me from just killing you now and ending all of this?"
He laughed again. "Killing me won't stop anything except maybe your daddy's heart."
Jane froze. "What are you talking about? Where is my dad?"
"I took out a little insurance. If you kill me you'll never find him."
"Fuck you Saren. What says I believe you?"
"What choice do you have Shepard?"
She stood knowing he was right and kicked him to his side.
"Get out of here. But know I'll find you. I won't stop hunting you and I will kill you."
Saren pulled himself up holding his thigh where Garrus had shot him. "It won't matter by then Shepard, you won't stop them. The reapers can't be stopped you'd know if you only looked within yourself."
With that he limped to the door and away from them.
Jane's teeth felt like they were going to shatter in her mouth she was grinding them so hard. She spun on her shocked team.
"Fuck this, grab him and let's go."
Garrus untied and lifted the unconscious man over his shoulder.
Kaidan stepped up next to the two Turians on the ground.
"What about them Shepard?"
Jane turned and stopped next to Kaidan, pulling her side arm and fired twice at each killing them where they sat. Kaidan sputtered his mouth hanging open as Jane spun away from him and towards the door.
"What about them?" She tossed back.
"Shepard, how I...shit did you just do that?"
Silence answered him as they walked away from the hospital and towards where Jane had called for the evac.
~~00o00~~
Back on the Normandy Jane had Garrus take John Hackett to the med bay as she headed towards her quarters though Kaidan stopped her with a hand on her arm.
"Jane we seriously need to talk. What happened back there? That was insane you can't just do that. There are rules Jane, you know that as well as anyone."
"I think the rules got thrown out a long time ago Kaidan. This was my choice, leave it."
Garrus stood to the side his arms crossed.
"Forget that, the important questions are what are we going to do about Saren and your dad? What are you going to tell the Council and more importantly what are you going to do about Hackett?"
Jane thought for a moment and sighed. "I'd say we've got the proof the Council wants, we need to figure out what the hell Reapers are that he was talking about and I have a feeling Hackett can tell me just about everything we need to know. And I have his son so he's going to tell me."
Kaidan's eyes went wide.
"Jane that man in there is your brother you can't."
"Relax I'm not going to shoot him. Just make Hackett worry a bit. He wants him back so badly then he can give me the answers I want."
Kaidan threw his arms in the air and turned towards the mess. "This is insane, I need coffee. If you need hell whatever find me."
Garrus watched Jane as Kaidan's rant faded down the hall.
"Hey, you okay? That was pretty messed up back there. But I get it. Those things Saren said we'll figure it out okay. I'm here for you Jane. No matter what."
Jane nodded and continued on to her quarters once inside she hit her comm..
"Admiral Hackett, Commander Shepard, I have your son." The last word was almost a curse.
The Admiral sighed audibly. "He's alive then? Thank you Shepard."
"Yes, he's alive. You could have told me Sir, I'm getting a little tired of going into situations completely blind."
Admiral Hackett was quiet and stared through her before responding.
"What should I have said Shepard? My son, your brother is missing. The one that I saved and raised all these years. I want you to go save his life?"
Jane pursed her lips. "Anything would have been better than what I just walked into. Sir, I have no problem with the way my life worked out. You seem to have the guilt issues. Now let's move on shall we. Saren has my father." She watched Hackett's eyes narrow and she restated.
"He has my father, he also mentioned something about Reapers and that they can't be stopped no matter what we do. He wanted both John and me, something to do with the modifications that were done to us as children. Now Sir I think you need to tell me what's going on. You probably do not know I recorded everything that happened down there and before I go to the Council you have once chance to tell me what is going on."
Hackett turned his head to the side thinking and then back to Jane. "Shepard." His voice was soft now and he sighed. "You're so much like your mother."
Jane blinked and her face went hard, blank. "That wasn't what I asked you Admiral."
"I know that Shepard, but you have to understand that it isn't that simple." He glanced behind him. "Stand down for now Shepard, you'll have your answers, take what you know to the Council and find Saren and Ganis. I will do what I can to get you the information you need; that's an order Shepard. Hackett out."
Jane spun from the console and rubbed her temples damn migraine. Standing she paced the floor before deciding. She grabbed the bag of Red Sand pinched, inhaled stored the bag again and collapsed on her bed letting every feeling fade away into a haze.
~~00o00~~
It had been hours since Jane had gone up to her quarters. Garrus had made something to eat for himself and just doubled it for Jane. He avoided Kaidan as the man was still ranting and freaking out about what happened down on Randiv. Garrus had been shocked but let it go. She hadn't done anything he hadn't heard of a hundred times, especially during the First Contact War, but he wasn't about to tell Kaidan that as he was repeating to himself that this wasn't Jane.
As Garrus stopped at the entrance to Jane's quarters he made to hit the buzzer but the doors opened. Not locked. Odd he thought as he stuck his head in the room. He glanced around in the dim light; he found her lying on her bed. Out cold he thought as he set the food by her console. He watched her for a moment she shivered and he pulled a blanket over her. As he turned to leave his eyes caught a glint of red on her fingers and he stopped. Red Sand, Saren hadn't been goading her. Shit.
"Spirits Jane."
He looked at her face; she didn't have the signs of a long-term user.
He sighed as he walked back to the door. "What am I going to do with you Jane Vandrel-Shepard?"
~~00o00~~
Harsh I know. I understand that some of you are very upset about Jane right now, really that's the point. Even the best of us break no matter how well we were raised. I know it seems out of character but really I promise you there is a point. I'm a little scared right now, it was hard for me to do this but I really felt it was needed. Don't hurt me. ^.^
As a side note I did change the effects of Red Sand just a bit, kind of like being drunk, with a bit of the codeine effect in there.