Pregnant

Vimes walked out of Mrs Content's in a daze. She began to walk home on autopilot, trusting her feet to get her there and her hindbrain to alert her to any trouble while she was thinking about

Baby.

She was going to have a baby.

She was having Saul's baby.

They were going to have a child.

Gods. Vimes' mind reeled as she absently rubbed her armor where her stomach was under. She went to Mrs Content because she thought she had become too old for this nonsense, not that she actually was[1]….

Pregnant.

Knocked up as they'd say on Cockbill Street or "in a delicate condition" the oiks she had to deal with said of their wives.

She reached for her cigar case then cursed and put her hand down. Even before she showed everyone in the City would know because she had to stop the smoking.

If Angua didn't smell it first.

And of course she had to tell Saul and she had to tell Saul and…

What was she going to tell Saul?

He had mentioned kids before, it was true, but when confronted with a pregnant wife…Saul was 46, she was 42, and neither of them were getting any younger. As for her, what did she have to offer? She was a cynical, washed up alcoholic, all around miserable bugger. Normally that didnt bother her but a kid? A child? Someone little and small whose life she could mess up in oh so many ways?

Her mind kept running in circles until Saul's call of "Samantha!"[2] brought her to.

—

Saul knew something was up when his wife walked in, took off her armor, changed to her red sweater and a pair of his old trousers, and ate dinner, all without saying a word to him with that far off look on her face.

It was a look he had never seen before. Usually when Sam shut down, it was usually a prelude to some arse kicking, not this wild eyed, about to bolt silence.

So when she had settled on the couch and continued spacing, he called her name.

She was so jolted out of her reverie that she immediately blurted out "I'm pregnant," to her indescribably shocked spouse.

"What?"

Sam took a deep breath. "I went to Mrs Content today about some…things, and she told me we are having a baby and-"

She was interrupted by Saul wordlessly lifting her shirt up, looking at her stomach and then kissing it gently.

"You…aren't upset?" his wife said shakily.

He lifted his head up to look at her. "Samantha Vimes, why on earth would I be upset?"

"You and I are…older and what if we can't keep up?"

Saul laughed. "We aren't THAT old. And even if we were, we'd manage somehow, I'm sure." But there was something else bothering her, he was sure of it, all he had to do was wait and

"What….what if I'm a bad mum?" Sam asked in a small, quiet voice[3]. "I'm a dried up, mean, old son of a bitch-and don't look at me like that Saul, I know this about myself. What can I give to a baby but bad and-"

A tear [4] slipped down Vimes' cheek, and Saul wiped it away.

"You will be a good mum Sam, because you are the best person that I know[5], and no matter what you'll love our baby and it will be fine."

"Really?"

"Really. If only because when our baby starts dating you can scare any knucklehead away from them easily."

This got the desired laugh he wanted from his smiled and leaned in to kiss him. "Thank you, Saul."

She leaned back on the couch and her hand joined Saul's on her stomach.

"We're having a baby Saul."

—-

Two days later Vetinari called her and Carrot to his office, and told her he was sending her to Überwald.

[1] and learned wayyyyyy too much about her Mum when she told Mrs Content she was too old to have a baby and the woman blurted out "nah your mum didnt stop her bleeds til she was 50!" Well, good to know for her own self but still.

[2] Saul only used her full name when he really needed her attention. It wasn't that she hated the name Samantha, it just never felt like it fit her as well as Sam did.

[3]that most Watchmen would not have believed could come from Commander Vimes

[4] and that's when Saul truly believed for the first time that Sam was pregnant, considering that he had never seen her cry. Ever.

[5] which Sam both always refused to believe, but kept attempting to live up to the woman her husband thought she was.