Klaus + Hayley + Hope: The Birds and the Bees

Happy, as usual, Hope Mikaelson took a seat on his bed and watched as he looked over some documents about the city he was running. Her father was always busy and her mother was always out with the Crescent Werewolves, trying to help them. It has been a couple of years since Rebekah brought her back to New Orleans and she still didn't know a lot of things. She has been watching television a lot and she came across a joke that everyone seemed to get but her.

Klaus looked over at his daughter with a smile on his face. "Hello, sweetheart! How are you today?" He didn't like anyone to disturb him during his quiet time, not even Hayley but he made an exception for Hope, seeing as how she was still getting used to this new life. She was still small but very smart. "Dad, can I ask you a question?" she finally asked him without answering his own question. Klaus chuckled. "You just asked it, sweetheart." Hope looked from the bed very serious at him. "Where do babies come from?" she asked and grinned wildly for some reason. He grunted and dropped some papers on the floor when he heard that. This was one question that he wasn't expecting.

At that moment, Hayley stepped into the room, even though she knew that Klaus didn't like to be disturbed at this hour. He was a King and he at least tried to be a good one by taking care of the city's problems. He didn't have much time to spend with his daughter or his own Queen. "Baby girl! What are you doing in here?" she asked Hope and her little girl jumped into her arms and hugged her. Hayley took her and the two of them sat down on the bed as Klaus watched them.

"I was just asking Daddy where babies come from." Hayley coughed a laugh when she heard that and looked over at Klaus with a sexy smirk on her face. "Well, go on then…Daddy. Explain to your little princess where babies come from." She could actually see his pants constricting as Hayley unintentionally made sexual movements that Hope could not understand but Klaus could. He tried to act normal and stood up from the chair and went over to her. "Sweetheart, that question can be answered only at the right time. Now…it's not the right time." "And why not?" Hope was stubborn.

She was just as stubborn as her mother was. "Go ahead now, Klaus. Tell her all about the birds and the bees. She has a right to know." Klaus ran a hand through his hair and sat down next to Hayley. "Well, you see, sweetheart, every girl such as yourself…when she is older…like your mother…" Hayley was already trying hard not to laugh when she saw the look on Klaus' face. The poor thing. He was trying. He really was. She knew this day would come. "Every girl when she gets old as your mother…has a special…egg inside of her." Hope frowned. "Like a…Easter Egg?" she asked suddenly with a grin. Klaus shook his head and mumbled, "No, love. Smaller. Much smaller."

"When two people fall in love…like your mother and I did…normally…" "Wait! So you and Mom were not normal?" "Well…we weren't exactly…Just let me finish!" "Okay." "Well, when two people are sexually…" Hayley stopped him before he could go any further. "Hope, what your father is trying to say is that when two people fall in love, there comes a time when they want to show it. It's…a way of expressing it…and sometimes, a baby pops out of it." Hope nodded. "I get that, but how are babies formed? That is what I want to know." Klaus cursed slowly under his breath and said, "Normally, the woman has this egg inside of her, like you said, an Easter egg…only much smaller. And the man has a…a snake." Hayley's eyes widened as she looked at Klaus in shock. How could he say something like that? "You mean like the penis? I know that! I saw on television!" "WHAT?" Hayley and Klaus both exclaimed.

"Relax, it was nothing too serious. So, what happens next, daddy?" Hope asked and Klaus finally said what he needed to say. "When two people express their…love…the man produces something with the…snake and it gets to your mother's little egg." Hayley gasped. "Little? I can say the same thing about you, Mr. Little Wiener!" Hope's eyes widened this time at her mother's words as Hayley straightened up and got off the bed to face Klaus, eye to eye. Klaus looked amused. "What are you getting all riled up about, sweetheart? You were exquisite but…" "But what? You claim that you actually have an idea of my so called little egg inside of me? Your little wiener couldn't actually take a challenge!"

Hayley's outburst was surprising and Hope couldn't help but record her parents' conversation. "Do you want to know what I think? I think that you make women hover over you, thinking that you are some goody…but I know best. I have had a little taste when we brought this child into the world remember? All I can remember is you laying the charm on thick and when I was ready to savor everything…well, every woman expects you to throw some of those pleasurable darts…and I wanted those darts as well, when in the end, all I got was overcooked spaghetti! Weak and lame!" Hope covered her mouth. Was her mother talking about her father's penis? This was recording would be so good to hear.

Klaus looked outraged all of a sudden and grabbed Hayley by the waist, whispering, "I really doubt they were spaghetti but if you say so, love, I will not argue. That just happens to prove that something must have been wrong with those meatballs you were serving me. The other women didn't seem to complain in my past about my darts." Hayley smirked. "Well, maybe not to your face! And I happen to serve some of the best meatballs around, my King." "I don't remember, little wolf. I happen to find them quite…rigid." Well, we'll just see about that won't we?

Before Hope could say anything else, her parents began kissing and they were ripping each other's clothes off right in front of her. "Oh, for the love of God! Get a room!" she yelled out but they didn't hear her. She stood there for a while, watching her father devour her mother's neck and leaving her only in her black bra and underwear while he took his shirt off, leaving his muscles and bird tattoo in plain view. Hope ended the recording with her eyes wide. She couldn't move from there even though she knew that her parents were being inappropriate.

Finally, Hayley and Klaus pulled away from their kiss and they turned their heads to look over at a stunned Hope. "You were saying something, sweetheart?" Klaus asked and Hope giggled. "Oh nothing! You know, Rebekah was right. You two definitely have some great sexual tension. I guess you needed this after all the hard work you've done, dad. Great explanation of how babies are made. And for the record, I've always known but I heard on television that you get a good laugh when you ask your parents to explain. I just needed to see you squirm a little. It was epic." Hope giggled and Klaus was shocked.

She had it all on tape and left the room, yelling "Rebekah!" She knew that Elijah and Rebekah would get a good laugh when they hear Hayley and Klaus talking about their "meatballs", "Snakes", "darts" and "Overcooked spaghetti"

Klaus tried to get out of bed but Hayley would let him and she had that mischievous smile on her face. "Love, what are you…?" She captured his lips in hers before she could protest and wrapped her legs around his waist. "You barely have time for us…for me especially. You are getting a time out from all this business." Klaus smiled down at his wife and caressed her face, kissing her gently. "I'm all yours." He whispered and they began kissing one another again as Hayley pulled off his pants and he unfastened her bra, as well as taking her underwear off. They were so into their passion, they barely heard the laughs of Rebekah, Elijah and Hope coming from the living room.