The next time Vetinari saw Lord Ramkin-Vimes, he came into the office with a "Hallo Havelock!"

Vetinari relaxed ever so slightly. It seemed he would let bygones be bygones.

"Hello Sir Saul. What brings you here today?"[1]

Saul sat down. "I, er, we were wondering if you would be the the baby's godsfather."

Vetinari froze. "I….see."[3]

He regained his footing quickly. "I am surprised the Commander has not suggested one of her longtime comrades."

"Yes well…."

-
"What about Fred? You've known him the longest?"

Sam sighed and folded her hands on her belly[4]. "My feet have been my feet for 42 years but I'm not going to make them the godsfather." Fred was one of her oldest friends, true, just not someone she wanted raising her child.

She plopped her feet onto Saul's lap and he began massaging one[5]. "What about Carrot?" he asked.

Sam thought about earnest, no-understanding-of-irony, straight laced Carrot raising a child of hers and shuddered inwardly. She feinted. "He's a good man, yes, but he and Angua may have their own family one day."

Saul raised an eyebrow[6] but went on. "Nobby?"

They looked at each other for a second then shuddered.

"No"

"No"

They went on, Sam shooting down every person that he brought up. Finally, Saul asked, "Do you have anyone in mind?" "No," Sam said flatly. Anyone else would have bought that, but Saul had been married to Sam long enough to notice that whenever she lied, one of her fingers twitched.

Saul suddenly knew who his wife wanted. She was just far too stubborn to ever admit it.

Saul smiled; he agreed with Sam's choice. He took her other foot in hand and started rubbing. Sam made a happy noise[7]. "Trust me to take care of it," he asked.

"This is cheating, asking me now," Vimes said, blissed out, but she nodded.

Saul went on blithely. "We don't think they would be a good fit. And I've known you for 30 years, and Sam about the same. I know if anything happened to us you would take care of our child. So what do you say?"

Vetinari opened his mouth to say "Thank you for the honor Sir Saul, but I will need some time before making a final decision," then spending a few weeks weighing the political ramifications of his being a godsfather to the child of the Commander of the Watch As well as the fact that he hadn't been near children since he was one, the potential of someone using his godschild to get to him[8], and several dozen other issues and factors.

What came out instead was "Yes."

Saul smiled.

-
Sam grumbled a bit, but Saul figured they were just a token sign of protest to satisfy her pride, so he knew he made the right choice.
—

[1] it was the rare occasion that Vetinari genuinely had no idea. His spies had reported that Saul was heading his way, but he hadn't called Vimes in for anything else other than her regular reports.[2] Honestly, he had thought their frien-association was finished.

[2] and to congratulate her on her pregnancy which went as well as could be expected

[3] had he been anyone else, like say a doctor in a pinstripe suit, he would have said a flat "what"

[4] which she seemed to regard as a portable table.

[5] Vimes was rather disgruntled to find the further along she got, the more her feet betrayed her by swelling and hurting.

[6] Vimes knew that Saul saw no problem with Carrot as a godsfather. Saul and Carrot got on rather well, probably because they were both ridiculously likable and knew an absurd amount of people.

[7] which since you insist of knowing sounded like "mmmmmmwarblgarbl"

[8] though considering that the baby's mother was Sam Vimes, a very stupid someone.