Garrus, had gone very still as Jane spoke of Jump Zero and what Vyrnnus had done to her, he didn't reply when she talked of how the Alliance had separated her and Nihlus, and when she told him he had been right about her not loving Kaidan, his hands fell to his sides. Feeling this Jane pulled her knees to her chest and leaned away from him. As the silence stretched between them Jane rubbed a hand over her face and stood, she didn't turn back to him, just took a step towards the door.
"I realize how all of this must sound to you Garrus. Trust me I've lived it; I don't expect you to have to deal with my baggage. I'm a Turian that the Alliance wants to be the human they designed, but I'm just not and the Turians won't let me be Turian because I have soft bits. Vyrnnus wanted to control me out of anger at what I did to my dad. Kaidan is in love with who he wants me to be, Nihlus was the only one who saw me and loved me, for me." She paused bowing her head, still not turning back to him. "Besides my dad anyways."
Before Garrus could answer her, she was gone. He stared at the empty space where she had just stood, pulling himself together he stood and exited behind her making for her quarters. He didn't bother asking for permission to enter. He found her head on her knees, at the end of her bed.
"Jane, don't run from me." Jane looked up from where she sat. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears as Garrus walked towards her.
"I may be angry for what has happened to you, I may wish that Vyrnnus was alive, just so I could kill him myself for what he did to you. I may even sort of want to sit Kaidan down and explain things to him so he understands, but all of those things Jane, even as terrible as some of them were. Made you into who you are. That night at the bar, I said you didn't love Kaidan and that you were still looking because I was hoping you might be looking at me. I've thought about you since that day in the woods, when I looked through my scope to find the sniper that shot me and there was this." He stopped taking a deep breath.
"There was this green-eyed, red-haired human giving me a Turian salute. I walked all the way back to the base hoping you'd still be there. You were with Kaidan, I remember being disappointed. Funny though I didn't know then, what I know now. I was hoping." He trailed off and Jane bit back a smile at the look of embarrassment that crossed his face.
"I was attracted to you, I had never looked at a human like that, but when I found out about your background that attraction grew. I had hoped we could." He quirked a brow plate. "I was interested in knowing what it would be like to, blow off steam with you. But that's different now; I want you, not who you could be, not who I want you to be, just you Jane; baggage and all. Oh and for the record, I like your soft bits."
Jane reached out her hands to him and he stepped into her kneeling at the end of the bed.
"Is that what this is Garrus? Blowing off steam, so when all this is over, you go back to C-sec and I go back to being a Spectre, maybe we'll meet up on the Citadel when we're stressed?"
"There is one problem with that Jane." Garrus ran his talon over her jaw and down her neck.
"I'm already getting possessive, just the thought that you would blow off steam with someone else is eating at me. I want to know what we can be together. Well besides the scariest sniper team in the Galaxy. Oh, and not that I would mind blowing off steam with you when stressed. I just want to make sure you come to me first."
Jane couldn't help it, a burst of laughter tore out of her and she rocked backwards on the bed. Garrus frowned. "That just went somewhere awful. I'm new at this and."
He was silenced as Jane sat up and traced her fingers down his mandibles and around to the base of his fringe.
"I'd like to give this a shot too Garrus." She looked away, pain, hurt and guilt all passing through her green eyes.
"I'm worried I can't anymore though, like my heart has been torn out and thrown away. I don't know if I.."
Garrus smiled and pushed her back gently stopping her line of thought; he stood and stepped forward to place a knee on the bed, causing it to dip under his weight.
"Jane, don't worry, don't think. Just feel."
He lowered himself, his hands on either side of her head, his body heating hers and leaned his forehead down and against her. She moved slightly and nuzzled down his neck, finding his sensitive parts between plates, nipping until the purr in his chest became a growl.
Stepping back off the bed Garrus began to remove his armour. He tossed it aside rather quickly not paying attention to where it landed. Moving back to the bed he watched as Jane slowly removed her uniform. It was the first time he had seen her bare flesh and he watched in wonder as she sat forward pulling off her boots and removed her pants. Her back was to him as he sat on the edge of the bed and traced his talon over the scars on her back to the ones on her shoulder.
"You're beautiful Jane, every part of you."
Rolling her quickly to her back he made a disapproving sound in his chest as he eyed her panties and quickly removed them. Jane removed her bra and Garrus stared down at her.
"Jane, I don't know how, show me?"
Jane took his hand and brought it forward to her breast showing him how to touch her. He rubbed a thumb over her nipple and watched as it pebbled beneath his touch, removing his hand he bend his head licking it, Jane arched under him and he pulled back.
"Are you okay?" Jane nodded and pulled him back to her.
"Don't stop."
He returned to her breast and licked them each in turn drawing small whimpers and cries from her. Moving down her body nipping and licking as he went until he was at her waist; his hands moved up and down her sides and he smiled.
"I love your waist."
She smiled up at him as he bent and bit gently on each side.
His hands continued to trace down her sides, reaching her hips he traced his talons over her thighs and found her center, she could feel his hardness against her leg as he found her, his talons drifted over her folds, as he explored her, Jane's pants were coming harder and faster. He gently opened her and placed a talon gently against her opening.
"Spirits Jane you're so, wet and...small are you sure?"
Jane chuckled and nodded. "You'll see. You're driving me crazy, get up here."
And he did, he pressed his legs between hers, widening her thighs until there was a place for his hips, and settled himself on her. She could feel the roughness of his plates against her legs. The hard slab of his chest and his large member lying across her.
His hands were in her hair and he nipped gently along her neck. The urge to bite down was there but he ignored his base instinct and pulled back. He shifted against her and looked up at the same time she felt the tip of his cock at her entrance. She gripped his shoulders as a look of doubt gripped him. She caught his eyes.
"Just feel right?"
He nodded and flexed his hips.
Jane had forgotten how large Turians were and she bit down on her lip as he entered her, slowly at first and she forced herself to relax. His ridges pushed against her as he slid out a bit and then pushed farther into her. Wrapping her legs around him his hands on her hips she could feel his need driving him on, his talons pierced the flesh on her hips as he began to thrust deeper and harder into her.
Dipping his head to tongue her nipple Jane arched helplessly underneath him. His strong body guided and pleasured hers, his hips moving and grinding down on her until she shattered under him. She opened her mouth in a silent scream as his tongue moved up her neck and his forehead settled against hers and he shuddered into her, continuing his pace until she felt heat flood her as he exploded within her.
They lay together, unmoving side by side until finally Jane moved to stand. She smiled and gathered her clothes.
"We should shower and get ready. We have a lot to do."
"We?" Garrus watched as she walked away tossing a look over her shoulder at him that sent shock waves through his body.
"Be right there Jane."
~~00o00~~
"Commander, Mu Relay in sight, stealth systems seem to be holding. Preparing to make the jump."
"Roger that Joker, I'll be at the bridge presently."
Jane stood leaving her coffee cup on the table and addressed those gathered.
"I don't know what we're walking into down there. But once Joker gets us on the planet I need you all to be on guard for anything. We know there are Geth down there but we don't know much else about the Reapers. So prepare for anything. Kaidan, Liara, Garrus and John you're with me. Dad, Tali, Wrex you're to stay here, I need people with the ship just in case things go wrong."
They each nodded and Jane turned and left the room headed towards the bridge.
"Joker, what's the word?"
"Jump went well commander; we're getting some weird readings from Ilos though, lots of weird energy signatures. I'm guessing it's your best bet on where to start looking for Saren."
Jane nodded. Going in blind again, at least it was her own fault this time.
"Can you set us down near there?"
"Sure I can Commander, but it's going to be one hell of a rough landing."
She chuckled. "Shouldn't be much different than my driving normally."
"So I've heard Commander."
"Alright Joker, make it happen."
~~00o00~~
Joker hadn't been kidding, the landing was enough to crack your spine and have you spitting your own teeth for a week. But as the mako rolled out of the landing and her team jumped out Jane caught sight of Saren and a squad of Geth making for a land vehicle.
"I've got eyes on Saren, let's go people."
As Jane and her team approached Saren he stopped and turned.
"Jane, you should realise by this point that it's hopeless. No matter what you do this cannot be stopped. You saw it yourself. I have the location of the Conduit, Sovereign is going to destroy the fleets and we will destroy the Council from the inside. It's done, why kill your team in a pointless effort. You saw what they can do."
Saren ducked into the vehicle and they sped off the team firing behind him.
"Shit, back to the Mako, John I hope you're a better driver than I am."
He laughed. "Yeah I got this Jane."
They sped off after Saren, the ruins were old and Saren did his best to lose them among the rubble.
As they came to a large turn the Mako skidded to the side as Saren tossed a grenade at a pillar near them, it smashed in front of the Mako blocking the path.
As the Mako came to a halt Jane jumped out.
"We've got to find a way around. Kaidan, Liara on me. Garrus, John stay with the Mako."
Garrus caught Jane's hand as she walked away. She nodded, acknowledging the unspoken words between them and made her way up and over the rubble, Kaidan and Liara following close behind.
As they circled around the building Jane motioned to a path to the left.
"We're just going to have to go up and over, force our way through." Looking down the road where Saren had gone she bit her lip.
"I hope we can find him."
"Don't worry Shepard." Liara pointed to her Omni-tool." I've got his energy signature. We can follow him."
"Perfect let's get back to the."
Before she could finish Jane was hit full force in the chest by a rocket. The second hit in front of Liara and she was knocked against the wall. Jane felt the repeated shots hit her chest as she lay on the ground. Lifting her rifle she was able to take out the first two before Kaidan appeared behind them clearing a path to her. Jane felt the blood on her lips as it trickled down her chin and throat. Her eyes were blurry and as Kaidan kneeled before her she felt them closing.
"Don't you dare Jane; you open your eyes and focus on me."
She tried to laugh but it came out as a bloody sputter. She blinked slowly trying to focus again, looking down to her hands and Kaidan's, they were covered in blood and she knew.
"Kaidan, no don't. Don't move me, no point...few for the many... Get Liara get back to the Mako she has his..find him..stop him.." She reached up and with one pull broke the chain holding her dog tags and forced them into his hand.
"Have...Garru..tell...my da..." Before she could finish, her world went a perfect white and then faded to black.
Kaidan heard himself scream at her as her chest stopped moving. He checked for a pulse but pulled back bloody shaking hands as he found none.
Jumping up his entire body was shaking. Remembering himself he turned and ran to Liara. She was alive, seemingly uninjured but unconscious. Looking back to Jane's body he stifled a sob, he knew he couldn't carry them both back over the rubble. Stuffing Jane's tags into his armour he grabbed Liara and made his way back to the Mako.
As he approached he set Liara into the Mako, she was coming to and they needed to get moving.
Garrus and John were staring at the blood on him.
"Are you hurt Lieutenant, is Liara?" John reached out like he was going to check Kaidan for wounds, but Kaidan stepped back.
"No, I'm fine." Kaidan's eyes went from John to Garrus.
"Where is Shepard.?" Garrus asked slowly.
Kaidan's eyes turned back to the Mako and he hopped in.
"She didn't make it."
Garrus's heart stopped and he turned his eyes back the way they had come.
"What? And you just left her there? We need to go..."
"No Garrus, we need to find Saren we need to stop him. Few for the many. There isn't time to go back."
"I can't just leave her, what if you were wrong we can't just abandon her."
Liara leaned forward. "We don't have time Garrus. Saren is reaching that energy signature that we were picking up on the Normandy. It's got to be the Conduit and if he gets there before us, you heard what he said, he's going to use it as a back door into the Citadel we've got to go."
Garrus slammed his fist into the side of the Mako. A string of cuss words followed that Johns translator couldn't pick up.
"Go John."
John pulled away backtracking and forcing the Mako over the rubble in the direction Liara was pointing.
"What the hell are we going to do when we do find it?" John sped ahead, his head was spinning.
Kaidan unclenched his jaw and leaned forward. "I don't know sir, but I believe you're the highest ranking officer. I'd say that makes you in charge."
John swallowed and called for joker as they came over the hill towards what looked like a mini relay. Saren was already there; he watched as the Turian looked back at them and disappeared.
"Joker I hope you headed back to the Citadel. Get a hold of the Admiral. You've got company headed your way."
~~00o00~~
The events of that day are spoken of by those who were there in hushed tones, as if speaking of it might somehow cause the events of that day to repeat.
The story was watered down as it passed on and by the time everyone knew and was talking about it; the story had become something quite different from the memory of those who were there.
Major John Hackett along with his team saved the Citadel and the Council. Commander Jane Shepard became a martyr for her team in their efforts to thwart the rogue Spectre Saren's attempt to control the Geth and destroy the Council and Citadel.
What the stories didn't tell was of the fallout of the team known as the hero's of the Citadel.
And of the truth behind Saren's fall.
~~00o00~~
It was the day of Jane's memorial and Garrus hadn't been able to eat or sleep let alone think. Jane was gone; he had just found that one person who made him feel things he had never had before, just to have her ripped from him. And even though he knew it wasn't fair of him, he blamed Alenko.
"Garrus, you should sit you need to calm down. The memorial isn't for another hour and your pacing is driving me crazy." Ganis spoke to him but his eyes didn't leave the far wall. They sat in Garrus's rooms on the Citadel waiting. That's what it felt like they had done since the fight with Saren. Wait.
"Yes Sir." Garrus sat staring at Ganis. He hadn't moved since he had been told the news of Janes' death just sat in that room staring at the wall.
"Is there something I can get you Ganis? I just feel useless; I don't know where to go or what to do."
Ganis shook his head. "No, let's go. The walk will do us good."
~~00o00~~
John sat in the back row in a room filled with chairs. There was no casket just a photo of Jane with her old N7 team. It looked like right after graduation, and they looked so happy.
His heart tore at the thought that he would never get to know Jane beyond what short time they had together.
He studied the photo, Jane and Kaidan stood next to each other. Kaidan's arm was around Jane's shoulder and she was wearing a ring on her wedding finger. He knitted his eyebrows together. He couldn't remember ever seeing that ring on her.
As the room began to fill, most of the team took seats with him in the back. Liara and Wrex along with Tali entered and took seats next to him. Captain Anderson, along with his father Admiral Hackett took Kaidan to the front and sat him along side them.
His face scrunched in thought, isn't that the family seats?
Garrus, Ganis and Joker entered and took seats on the other side of him. No one came forward to move Ganis closer. John's stomach clenched as he watched other notable dignitaries enter and be seated up front with his father. Only General Victus came back to where the team was seated and spoke to Ganis. Whatever he said caused the normally stoic Turian face to crumple, in what John could only describe as desperate anguish. He averted his face as Ganis look towards him. He looked too much like Jane and the looks he had received bothered him.
As everyone was seated and the service started John listened to his father speak of all of Jane's accomplishments and her willingness to do what needed to be done. He spoke of her like a soldier not his daughter. He knew why and felt pity for the man.
John was zoning out on his own thoughts when his father said something that snapped his attention back to the present.
"I'd like to call someone up who has known Jane the longest; Jane Shepard's XO and fiancé Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko."
John heard the shocked gasp from beside him and Garrus leaned forward his head in his hands.
"Jane was a lot of things to a lot of people. To me she was my best friend. She was everything to me for a long time. She was the best of us all, and she will not be easily forgotten."
The rest of what Kaidan said was lost on him, as he stared down the shocked row of faces. Had they not known either?
As the service was drawing to a close, Captain Anderson said a few words and accepted a folded Alliance flag from the colour guard. He turned walking down the front row and handed it to Kaidan. John heard the click of talons to his side. Garrus was clenching his leg his talons leaving scratch marks along his armour.
As those gathered began to disperse towards the refreshments, Kaidan moved back towards the team holding the folded flag. Garrus stepped in front of him.
"I think we need to talk Alenko."
"Not now Garrus."
"Oh yes now."
But before they could move away Joker spoke up.
"When did you and the Commander have time to get back together?"
John thought at first Joker was kidding but the look on his face was anything but.
Shaking his head Kaidan dropped his eyes to the floor.
"This isn't the time for.."
Garrus stepped closer to Kaidan and pointed to the flag. "That doesn't belong to you."
Kaidan narrowed his eyes, lifting them in almost a challenge. "And what? You think it belongs to you?"
"No, it belongs to her father. You have no right to it; just like you have no right to those." He pointed to the dog tags around his neck.
"A set of those are Turian and belong to her father and if you had any sense you'd give it all to him. You have no right to keep it Kaidan. What did you tell them that you were still together? That everything was the same?"
His voice was soft and his eyes distant when he finally answered. "I..I didn't tell them anything. I just left it as they knew it. They were there, when I proposed to Jane."
Garrus's arms were folded over his chest and the look he lowered at Kaidan could have stopped his heart.
"You should have told them. Everyone thinks you were practically married now."
"What does it matter Garrus? She's gone; this is all I have left of her."
"What? A lie?"
Garrus knew he was being harsh but didn't care, Jane should be here, and they should be starting their life together, he should be asking her father permission to be her mate but no. Instead here he was with Kaidan who was telling the world that he and Jane were still together.
"It's not a lie, she and I just had a fight, it happens."
"Kaidan, I know what it was. She told me everything. Now give that flag to her father."
Without saying a word Kaidan sidestepped Garrus, thrust the flag at Ganis and left the room. His hand clutching the dog tags under his shirt.
The rest of the team stood in silence and one by one drifted off and away until it was just Ganis, Garrus and John.
Ganis stared at the flag in his hands and turned towards the door.
"I'm going back to Randiv Garrus, you're welcome to come with me. There are a few things I think you'd like to have." Garrus paused, looking back at John; he searched his face almost like he was remembering, and nodded to him before leaving behind Ganis.
John stood in shock as his father moved next to him.
"John, you've been given command of the Normandy. I expect you to take up where Jane left off."
When John didn't reply right away Hackett cleared his throat and laid a hand on his shoulder.
"Jane would have wanted it this way." John turned, his eyes blood-shot from unshed tears.
"You have no idea what she would have wanted." With that he spun and walked away.
~~00o00~~
"You can stay in Jane's room Garrus." The door slid open and Garrus found himself in her room, it looked like her, weapon racks on the walls, a pair of old boots by the bed. Things one would think to find in an old bedroom at their parents house.
He turned to thank Ganis but he was already gone. Garrus sat on the edge of Jane's old bed his heart felt like it was ripping in two. In the short time he had known Jane she had become so much to him. There was so much he hadn't known until his last days with her, so much he still didn't know. That he would never know he reminded himself with a deep sigh.
"Garrus, I think you should have this." Ganis entered and sat a data pad next to the bed.
"It's Jane's journal. She started keeping it when she was learning to write, she kept it up through her time at Jump Zero. I thought you might like it. There are some great little stories from when she was a kid in there. Some of it from her time away is hard to read. But, I think you should."
Garrus nodded staring at the data pad, he stood and removed the sniper rifle Jane had left in her quarters. "I think this is yours sir."
Ganis shook his head. "No, it's yours now Garrus." He turned and walked to his room leaving Garrus staring at the rifle in his hands. He walked forward and placed it on the weapons rack at the end of her bed. He stepped back staring at it.
It's funny he thought, when a whole life is laid bare and stopped short, what is remembered and what is forgotten. Well he would never forget that shot with this rifle, and he would never forget her.
Turning back to the bed he grabbed the data pad and flipped it open, he could hear her voice as he read.
Jane Vandrel, age seven.
Had my first birthday, dad says I get them every year...
~~00o00~~
"Admiral, you have a call on your private line."
"Thank you, I'll take it in my quarters."
Admiral Hackett sighed as he sat at his desk. He set his jaw at what he was about to do and hit his comm.
"Can it be done?"
"Of course. You know what we agreed Admiral, and I expect you to come through. Your doctors toyed with reaper tech and I will take it that much farther with her. But I want access to all of it."
"You recovered her then?" He listened to the inhale and the slow exhale before the voice on the other side answered.
"We did."
~~00o00~~
*Ducks and covers.* I know, trust me I know. But I've had this in my head since day one. If it felt pushed, it was. I wanted to impart how little time there was, for all of them.
Thanks again and don't hurt me, too much.
^,^