Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or The Hunger Games. I'm not so sure I want to. It'd be a HUGE amount of paperwork.
Chapter 5
The house was in chaos the next morning. The Capitol crews had arrived before anyone had woken up, and had decided to wake everyone up by visiting their bedrooms with the cameras and microphones on. Each room's wake-up call included microphones attached to the bedframes, cameras at all different angles, and a loud buzzer that sounded throughout the house. The cameras got everyone's reaction.
Finnick shot up and cursed, loudly telling Harry that he was never coming to visit ever again if he could expect some kind of rude wake-up call.
Vick and Rory looked up, saw the camera and groaned, telling the camera from under their blankets that it was too early in the morning to 'deal with you people'.
Apolline, Posy and Hazelle simply screamed for someone to shut off the alarm.
Prim waved at the camera with a cute little smile on her face, and Katniss glared at it. "You people in the Capitol know that we're five freaking hours behind you, right?" Rue just rolled her eyes and went back to sleep.
Harry's reaction was much the same as Rory and Vick's but he heard Finnick, and simply yelled back at him that they would all come visit him in Four if he didn't come around once and a while.
Gale peeked up at the camera, which seemed to be taking in every inch of his chest-hunting scars and muscles and all- and stated "Harry, I know I said I could deal with the Capitol's obsession with you and Katniss, but I was wrong. You're gonna have to break up."
"Why do I have to break up with my fiancée simply because you don't like fuzzy pink cameras and waking up to loud noises?" Harry asked, ignoring the camera which was now trained on his barely clothed body.
"Because then I can go live with her and not have to deal with the Capitol reporters stalking you." Gale said, brushing his hair out of his face.
"The Capitol would still bug you." Harry pointed out as he stretched, not caring that he would be making quite a few women in the capitol faint.
"Not as much or for as long." Gale said, getting out of bed.
"Harry, why is the camera pink?" Dylan asked.
"Because people in the Capitol can afford to be colourful." He told his son.
"What do you mean?" Dylan asked, pretending to be confused.
"The only time people in twelve ever see colour is in the bakery and fabric store. Everything else is varying shades of gray, green and blue. Maybe a little yellow if the dandelions get out of hand in the schoolyard." Gale said.
"What about during the Games?" Dylan asked, changing out of his sleep top while waiting for an answer.
"We aren't required to watch once our tributes die. We don't normally have to watch past the bloodbath." Gale said. The last time anyone in Twelve had seen the games past the bloodbath (not including Harry and Katniss' Games) was when Gale was seven.
"HARRY! THERE ARE PEOPLE IN OUR HOUSE THAT SHOULDN'T BE HERE!" Katniss screeched from her room.
"KATNISS, OUR ROOM IS ACROSS THE HALL FROM YOURS! STOP SCREAMING AT US!" Felix screeched back. Gale fell back into bed, laughing while Harry glared slightly at Felix before pulling his jeans on and running out of the room, not bothering to put a shirt on.
"You people weren't supposed to show up until later," Harry said, pulling a gun out of the bookshelf in the hallway, pointing it at the closest reporter. It wasn't loaded, but the reporter (and the rest of the Capitol) didn't need to know that.
"S-s-sorry S-sir. W-we just w-w-wan-t-ted to get s-s-s-some f-footage of the f-f-amily in th-the m-mor-n-ning." The reporter stuttered.
"And don't you think it would have been better to ask us for permission to place cameras in our HOME?" Harry asked, pulling the hammer back.
"Harry, stop terrorising the bugs." Hazelle said as she came into the hall carrying Posy.
"Can we turn them into actual bugs? I bet there's a Capitol potion thingy that'll do it!" Posy asked as she jumped out of her mother's arms and into Harry's.
"No Posy, President Snow might get mad if we ask for all reporters to be turned into bugs." Harry told the girl as he lowered the gun slightly.
"But what about the Rita bug?" Posy asked as Harry carried her into the kitchen. Harry gave the gun to Vick -who had followed Finnick out of their shared room- and told him that if the reporters bothered someone, that he was to shoot to castrate, not kill.
"The Rita bug turned herself into a bug so that she could spy on people and ruin their lives, not because she wanted to annoy people who are more than capable of killing her and hiding the body where nobody would ever find it." Harry told his young apprentice.
"If we find the Rita bug, can we put a pin in her and stick her to the wall with the rest of Rory's bug collection?" Posy asked, knowing full well that the reporters were watching.
"If Rory wants it, sure." Harry said, setting his apprentice down on the counter in the kitchen. There were rainbow coloured cameras there too. Harry found one in the fridge, dishwasher, under the table, in the glass cabinet, in the cutlery drawer and even in the chandelier. Microphones were placed in the oven, microwave, in all of the cupboards and under the chairs.
"Clearly they didn't take morning gas into account when they put the microphones under the chairs," Harry muttered.
"Harry love, as much as I love seeing you without your shirt, I don't want every woman in Panem to see your chest." Katniss said as she entered the kitchen. Harry looked down at his bare chest. He had forgotten that he hadn't put a shirt on.
"Is it no shirt day?" Gale asked as he entered the kitchen.
"Yup! Mark the calendar, because from now on August 30this no shirt day in this family." Harry announced. He didn't want to go all the way back upstairs to get a shirt. Gale grinned and peeled his plain gray shirt off, leaving him in his low hanging, coal covered blue jeans.
"Well if you're going to be smart-asses, at least put on belts." Katniss said, motioning to the jeans that were nearly falling off her fiancé and brother's hips.
"Ah, but Katniss, we can't rob the people of Panem of this 'sneak preview' now can we?" Finnick asked as he sauntered into the kitchen, shirt in hand. The top of his boxers were showing, indicating what kind of sneak preview he was talking about.
"When did we agree 'pick on Finnick day' was again?" Katniss asked.
"Tomorrow," Gale said with an evil grin on his face.
"Wait a minute, it's no shirt day! Katniss, you have to take your shirt off!" Finnick said.
"Trying to get my fiancée out of her clothes already, Odair? I know you go for married women as well as single ones, but I thought I was your friend! How could you do this to me? And to think, I was thinking of making you the old man of honour." Harry said, pretending to be betrayed.
"Stop with the 'old man' jokes, Potter! I'm only five years older than you!" Finnick said.
"Guys, why aren't you wearing shirts?" Prim asked as she walked through the doorway.
"It's no shirt day." Gale said.
"I'm assuming that this impromptu holiday against torso-covering garments is boys only." Prim said before grabbing an apple.
"It's for guys and girls who aren't ashamed of their assets." Finnick said, winking at Prim. She blushed slightly.
"Girls who have 'assets'" Prim muttered.
"Don't worry Prim, you just haven't bloomed yet." Finnick said as he dumped a handful of sugar cubes into his coffee. She glared at him, but he simply ignored her.
"Now Katniss has assets, so shirt off, girly." Finnick said, wanting to see if she would actually do it or not.
"NO! I am not exposing myself like that in front of the entire country!" Katniss exclaimed.
"Katniss, you've had to take your shirt off to bathe in the arena, and that was on public TV too." Harry said, placing a plate of eggs and a cheese bun in front of Posy. She glared at her fiancé, but peeled her shirt off nonetheless. She sat down next to Posy at the breakfast table.
That was when Hazelle and Apolline walked into the room.
"Katniss, boys, I think you've forgotten something." Apolline said, motioning to their naked chests, or in Katniss's case, bra-covered chest.
"No, it's 'no shirt' day. And tomorrow is 'pick on Finnick' day." Harry explained for what felt like the millionth time.
"You know mom, after living near/with Harry for so long, I would've thought you would learn not to question the weird, impromptu holidays." Posy said, still glaring at Finnick.
"Hey, I wonder if we could get the Mellarks in on this. I bet Delly would be happy to see Peeta without a shirt, and I know for a fact that half the girls in the seam and most of the town girls want to see Reed and Basil without their shirts." Gale said.
"Basil and Reed hate wearing shirts; they'll be in on this in seconds." Harry said. Basil and Reed were always complaining about how restricting shirts can be. They also insisted on wearing shirts that were slightly too small, so the shirts moulded to their muscular forms.
"Are you kidding? Isla would have a heart attack!" Hazelle said. Isla hated it when men didn't tuck in their shirts. She didn't want to be within a mile of Isla when the woman saw that Katniss, her boys, and Finnick had decided to go shirtless for the day.
"We'll tell them about 'pick on Finnick' day first. She'll be so busy reprimanding us for being asses and not wearing shirts that we'll be able to tell Reed and Basil without her hearing." Gale said.
"Rory, Vick! Come down for breakfast please!" Apolline shouted, desperately trying to get the boys to stop scheming.
"Stop yelling! We were right outside the door!" Rory yelled back at her. Vick came in soon after, neither of the boys wearing shirts. Finnick looked at them questioningly.
"We heard that it's no shirt day today." Vick answered the unspoken question.
"What's with you people and impromptu holidays?" Rue asked. She was wearing a training bra, but no shirt.
"Here in Twelve, you need the occasional holiday." Katniss said. "Although why today is no shirt day when we've already got an event planned for tomorrow is beyond me."
"Alright!" One of the reporters shouted, trying to get their attention. He was pretty sure the only person missing was Felix, who was now walking through the door.
"Today we will be setting up an interview station in one of the studies. When we call you in, your makeup will be applied and or touched up and we'll ask you some questions. We have forms from the President himself stating that you are required to answer truthfully." The man said, handing copies to everyone.
"I'm not signing this." Harry and Katniss said simultaneously.
"And why not?" The reporter said, glaring slightly. Just because they were Victors didn't mean they were better than him and his crew.
"I'd like to point out that the second paragraph clearly states that you and your crew are allowed to ask each of us about Katniss and my sex life. This is an extremely personal topic, and it says in the fourth paragraph that we are required to answer any question you give us." Harry said, pointing to each paragraph as he made his case.
"Also, the ninth paragraph states that you are allowed to ask Felix and Aelia about the accident that killed their family. In what universe is it morally okay to ask two children who are still mourning the loss of their last living relatives questions about their deaths?" Katniss asked. At this, the children's eyes widened, and they read paragraph nine.
"The president has signed the forms, so they are fully legal and moral." The reporter snapped.
"Really, because I've seen President Snow's signature and this sure as hell isn't it." Harry said.
"How dare you accuse me of… of course it's his signature!" The reporter said, turning red with anger and embarrassment. He was also a little fearful. If Harry pressed the matter, he could lose his job and end up an Avox.
"Let's call and ask him then." Harry said as he walked over to the phone. He pressed the number he knew was the President's direct line, and hit the speaker button. By now, the red hue of the reporter's face had disappeared and had been replaced by a pasty cross between a sickening green and a terrified white.
"Mr. Potter, how wonderful of you to call." The President's silky voice rang through the kitchen, laced with false happiness.
"Good morning Sir. I hope I haven't interrupted anything of great importance," Harry said, knowing that the President was a very busy man.
"Of course not Mr. Potter. Now, what can I do for you?" Snow replied, knowing that Harry would only call if he wanted something.
"I have a reporter and a camera crew sitting here in my kitchen with me and my family, and we need something clarified." Harry told the president.
"Of course, dear boy. What is causing the confusion?" Snow asked, hoping to get this over with without having to send in Peacekeepers because Harry, Katniss and Finnick had killed someone, or buried them alive, or decided to castrate someone, or something else harmful and gruesome.
"The reporter claims to have a contract for myself, my family, Finnick and the Castellans signed by you, which gives us no privacy whatsoever." Harry said.
"What kind of things?"
"Not being allowed to lie or refuse to answer questions, he's allowed to question our sex lives and re-open barely healing emotional wounds without moral repercussions." Harry said.
"I haven't signed any contracts like that, but I will require you to sign a small waver promising that you won't lie. I'll send Peacekeepers to arrest the reporter and send a new one." Snow said, barely containing a sigh of exasperation. At least he was getting a new Avox out of the whole situation.
"Okay, thank you Sir." Harry said, grinning evilly at the reporter, who gulped.
"You're very welcome Mr. Potter." Snow said, cutting off the call.
"Told you it wasn't his signature." Harry said as he put the phone back where he found it.
"Gale, where are the fuzzy handcuffs the girlfriend before Madge gave you to use on her thinking that you were into that kind of crap?"
"In the 'forbidden box' in the attic." Gale replied.
"Keep him there, I'll be right back. Once he's secured, we'll go see if the Mellarks want to participate in our little holiday." Harry said, acting as if holding a reporter prisoner in the kitchen using a pair of fuzzy handcuffs was completely normal.
Harry went up to the attic and quickly conjured a pair of handcuffs before adding a zebra print design.
"I'm back!" Harry called as he re-entered the kitchen.
"What did you mean when you said Gale's old girlfriend said he wanted handcuffs?" Posy asked innocently. Everyone's eyes widened dramatically at this question.
"Well, you see Posy, Gale's old girlfriend thought she was a bad girl, and she wanted Gale to teach her how to be a good girl, so she got him a set of handcuffs so he could arrest her if she was being too bad. But Gale didn't want to have to teach her, so he stopped being her boyfriend, and put the handcuffs in the forbidden box." Harry explained.
"But if she's bad, why didn't she go to detention with you and Gale?" Posy asked.
"Because she quit school when she found out she was going to be a mommy, remember?" Harry said.
"Oh, I 'member now." Posy said. Hazelle glared at her oldest son.
"That child isn't yours, is it?" She demanded.
"No mom, I didn't sleep with her. I've been dating Madge since that breakup, remember? Harry did just mention it," Gale said.
"I was just making sure, Gale." Hazelle said, going back to her breakfast as if nothing happened at all. The camera crew was amazed at the attitude this family had. They were all insane! It was no wonder two of their oldest children had survived the Games.
Half an hour, six Peacekeepers, and a new reporter later, the camera crews were finally able to shoot the interviews.
"While you guys are interviewing the other family members, can we go talk the Mellarks into participating in 'no shirt day'?" Gale asked the new reporter.
"Should I ask?" The pink haired, fanged and clawed reporter asked. The camera crew shook their heads. The reporter sighed.
"You can go, but be back in an hour. You need to go through hair and makeup before your interviews." She said.
"Thanks,"
"See you later,"
"Bye," Finnick, Harry and Gale said.
"Katniss, you coming?" They asked.
"Yeah, might as well," Katniss said, popping a grape into her mouth. She grabbed Harry's wallet and put it in her pocket. She knew that Gale had given Harry his billfold back, but she didn't quite trust Harry not to buy something stupid and unnecessary.
"Say hello to Isla for me," Apolline said from her spot at the kitchen table.
"Okay. See y'all later!" Harry said, tipping an imaginary hat.
"Well," The reporter snapped at one of the camera men. "Follow them! We need more footage of their daily lives, even if their daily lives are anything but normal," She said, muttering the last bit. The man she pointed to scrambled to gather his gear, and ran after them, trying his very hardest to keep the camera steady.
The visit at the Mellark house went as Hazelle predicted. Isla screamed when she saw the boys shirtless, and immediately reprimanded them, telling them to go put their shirts on. She nearly feinted when she saw Katniss. Harry distracted Isla by asking her to spread the word about pick on Finnick day while Finnick pretended to try and kill him for coming up with the stupid holiday. While Isla was distracted, Gale and Katniss told Reed and Basil about their new holiday. The two young men immediately peeled their shirts off and snuck out the back door while their mother was preoccupied with trying to pull Harry and Finnick apart. Of course, by then, the two Victors had drawn quite a crowd, which made it even easier to slip away.
The group of six made it back to the temporary house in Victor's Village with only two minutes to spare. The camera man was following close behind, knowing that the scary pink-haired reporter would castrate him if he missed so much as one second of their outing.
"We're home!" Harry screamed when the group entered the house.
"And they brought company!" Reed screamed as he and his brother walked through the door. They could hear laughter ringing through the house, but the camera crew just glared at them for interrupting the interviews.
"Oh perfect, you're just in time for your interviews. Harry, you're next." The reporter said, flashing him a toothy smile, which made her look like a goblin. Harry held back a grimace and forced a smile onto his face.
"Lead the way," He said, making a sweeping gesture with his hand. The reporter nodded, mostly to herself, and began to walk towards the 'studio'.
The reporter sat herself down on the ornate desk chair that occupied the space behind the desk while Harry took the hint that he was meant to sit in one of the slightly less ornate chairs in front of the desk. He felt like he was a student again, sitting in front of Dumbledore's desk while the old man asked questions he had to answer.
"So, Harry, let's get started." The reporter said, waiting for him to snap out of his little trance.
"Of course, what do you want to know?"
"Why all the impromptu holidays? Wouldn't it just be easier to celebrate real holidays?" She asked.
"Well, here in Twelve, most real holidays aren't actually holidays. Sure on calendars it says that it's some kind of special day, but we don't get to pay much attention to those. It's the little things, like no shirt day, or pick on Finnick day, which everyone enjoys. Miners get one day every week off, along with Christmas and the Reaping day. In the Districts, we don't get several days off every month for holidays on top of weekends. We have to make some of our boring days better, so that we don't all go insane." Harry said, figuring that it was a good answer. He didn't want to tell the truth and say he just didn't want to put a shirt on, and had taken Gale's suggestion seriously.
"Why don't you get all of those days off?" The reporter asked, seeming genuinely shocked. Were people in the Capitol really that clueless?
"Because, someone needs to mine the main power source from the rock, harvest crops, catch fish, make clothes, chop wood, take care of livestock, and create power and electronics and all that other stuff. You people in the Capitol wouldn't be able to have all of your little holidays if it weren't for the hard workers in the various Districts."
"Excuse me; we do not have 'little holidays'. Each and every one of our holidays has significant value." The reporter huffed.
"Really, so scrambled egg day is as important as Christmas? What about leopard print day? Or Kevin Flynn memorial day?" Harry asked.
"Kevin Flynn was a very important scientist, Mr. Potter!" The reporter exclaimed with a glare.
"That discovery was accidental, and the blue moss has no real medicinal or scientific purpose. It's just a hallucinogen." Harry said. "We get the same affect from morphling overdose."
"Moving on," The reporter snapped before she lost her temper.
(Page break)
The interviews were finally over and done with. The reporter had looked ready to declare her eternal hatred of the group though.
"The broadcast will be tomorrow at noon, Capitol time." The reporter snapped at them, before taking off.
"Lovely way of telling us to sit out asses down and watch a show about ourselves at three tomorrow," Finnick grumbled. The rest of the group just laughed and went about de-bugging the house. It was going to be a long night of 'look for the hidden cameras and microphones'.
Author's note: I should probably apologize for taking a whole month to get this done... but I'm not going to, since I made the chapter my longest yet so you guys take longer to read, giving me more time to hide before you can all come kill me. I put the 'Kevin Flynn' part in just for you Sora Kawazoe. Hope you liked it, and that it made sense to all of you who don't figure out the reference.
Also, if anyone has any suggestions for mess with Finnick day, let me know. I want the day to be full of pranks, so the more I can get, the better.
Author's note 2: You know, authors like me would feel a lot more incentive to write new chapters if you people would actually review. I don't like ranting or complaining, but 4 reviews over the course of over a month? That's a little sad. As an author who does fairly well with some stories, and has other stories completely ignored, it makes me feel kind of bad, not only for myself, but for all other authors like me. Come on people, I've written reviews for stories I've never even read before simply because I know what it's like to have a decent length story with almost no reviews. It makes our day when things like that happen, and it takes a minute of your time. So make someone's day, and review. I'm making it a mission of mine to review when I see that people deserve it, and I recommend that you do too.