I am so sorry it has been so long, I've had the flu and generally just been out of it. So here you go.
I hope everyone has a wonderful, Holiday Season.
For those that asked, I do hope to get a few more chapters done, over the holiday.
^.^
~~00o00~~
Jane stood in what was now her and Garrus's quarters. It had been a week since Jane had decided they needed to come back to the Normandy, they had been on Randiv for weeks, and she knew it was time to get in contact with Cerberus, no matter how much she wished she could stay.
She was pacing and chewing on a fingernail waiting for Joker, or hell someone, anyone, to tell her that her message to Cerberus had been answered.
"You know, it's lucky you don't have talons, you wouldn't be able to chew on them like that, well not with those teeth anyway."
She pulled her hand away from her mouth and narrowed her eyes at him, as he reclined on the bed.
"Didn't my dad need your help, you know shouldn't the two of you being doing calibrating or something? I mean something besides staring at me while I freak out."
"Yes, your dad did mention something about me helping him calibrate, I came here to get your rifle remember? Since you don't seem to have time to do it yourself, but you started pacing as soon as I got here and I've been waiting for you to tell me what's going on. But, if you would rather I go, I will."
He stood grabbed her rifle from the rack and made his way to the door.
"Garrus, I'm sorry. I'll be down in awhile, as soon as this is taken care of."
He nodded.
"I know Jane, I'll see you soon."
The door slid shut and Jokers voice came over the comm.
"Commander, incoming transmission for you, it's from Cerberus. Same guy John has talked to."
Jane nodded to herself and took a deep breath.
"I'll take it here, thank you Flight Lieutenant."
"There's the Turian I know, glad to see you found that stick Commander."
"That will be all Flight Lieutenant. Put the transmission through."
Jane waited as the image of a man in a high back chair turned to face her, folding her arms over her chest she waited.
"Shepard, I was surprised to get your message. Not displeased, just surprised that you came around on your own."
"I wouldn't say I came around on my own really, more like whatever you did to me, has caused some pretty interesting side effects. Namely, the repeated viewing of the end of life as we know it; so before you start the bullshit parade how about you give me the facts. All of them, and start at the beginning, I have time."
Jane watched as the cherry on his cigarette burned a bright white and faded as he exhaled.
"Alright Jane, I'll play your game, but then you need to do something for me. I need you to follow the collectors; we need to know what they've done with the humans from the colonies."
She nodded, with a slight shrug.
"I plan on it."
"Fair enough, let's begin. Your mother was exposed to element zero when you and your brother were still in utero, there was a project started by the Alliance, a genetics project. The point was to see, if we could genetically modify young biotics with newly found technology, what we thought was Prothean. We wanted to know if we could make a perfect human with it. Could we have one that could compete with any life forms found in the galaxy? You are better in every way. You're never sick, your eyesight is perfect, movement, conditioning all easily maintained. The first contact war was well underway as the testing on you and your brother commenced. Most of this you know, such as most test subjects didn't make it, you were one of three; you've met the other two of course."
Taking a drag off the cigarette he flicked it absently before continuing.
"Before we started testing on new subjects, you were taken in the raid on the base. I know you ask yourself quite often, why you were brought back and tossed at Kaidan. It's simple really; Hackett and we of course, wanted to know if you produced children, would they carry your superior genes? Think, if we could modify young biotics and then breed them, there would be no need for 'accidental' eezo exposure. But as you know, you died before we could test the theory. A problem for some, but an excellent opportunity for us, we know so much more about the Reapers now, after John and his team killed Saren, and sovereign, we were able to study them in more depth."
He paused again, inhaled and exhaled the smoke from his cigarette slowly.
"We rebuilt you, using this technology, why you may ask? For the same reason you messaged me, the dreams you have, they aren't just dreams Jane, they are your connection to the Reapers. Saren was indoctrinated. I reasoned that if he could be indoctrinated, why couldn't I use that same concept on you? Now, we know what they are planning, you can see them. You know the threat, think of it, like an early warning system."
Jane didn't move, just narrowed her eyes at him, as she ground her teeth and clinched her jaw.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me. You tried to copy what had happened to Saren? And what happens when I become like him? What happens when I lose everything to serve their ends?"
"We're hoping that won't happen Jane. But the bigger picture is you can get the information and proof we need to move the Alliance, not to mention the rest of the Galaxy against the biggest threat anyone has ever known."
"So what are you saying? I'm reaper human?"
"No, actually you've never really been human, and this time we just used bits and pieces, enough to give you a connection, it's not like you're metal or anything. In fact we were able to augment your biotics with Asari genetics, which is why you noticed an increase, while you were using them. As far as trying to keep your memories what we wanted. Hackett asked for that, he wanted you to have the chance, however brief, to be with Kaidan, prove our theory; we need to know if a child from you or John will carry your traits. You're a life time of work Jane; it would be a shame to just throw that all away. Though I hear you've mated with the Turian. We suspected that might happen, so we took appropriate steps, just in case. Fortunately I know your nature."
He paused eyeing her with a slight smirk.
"Admittedly this wasn't the original plan for you or your brother; you were to be the start of perfect soldiers for the Alliance. To start a dynasty, simple right, but things became so complicated. Now, seeing as you know everything, and there is no reason for me to lie to you. I reviewed your requests for other teammates, I have arranged for Tali to meet you at this location. Wrex is otherwise occupied but I think I have found a replacement. This location that you're meeting Tali, it is a Cerberus installation, I have some upgrades I would like your team to work on. After that, contact me again, we'll carry on from there."
"I'm sick of being used, half of what you just said left me with more questions than answers, but we don't have the time to get into it now, so, I want it made clear, I don't work for you. Understand that? "
"Loud and clear, but you have a problem there Commander." The word was said slowly and with sarcasm.
"You don't work for anyone, and should I remind you, that is a stolen Alliance ship you're on? There is going to come a time when you're going to have to face the music on that one, you're going to need not only the Turians, and the council. You're going to need the Alliance, so that means you're going to have to make nice, so you had better do this quick, and I'm your best shot, I have the information you need to get through this, so let's not have a pissing match. Let's just get this done."
"Fine, send me the coordinates."
"Already done, I'll be in contact with you soon. Good luck, Jane."
Jane flexed her neck and stretched her jaw.
"Set a course Joker."
"Aye, Aye Commander."
"Son-of-a-bitch."
"Commander?"
"Oh, sorry Joker, not you, a completely different son-of-a-bitch."
Jane heard Joker snicker, and was shaking her head cussing under her breath as she left her room for the elevator. As she turned towards the main battery, she had every intention of finding Garrus, and apologizing for being short with him, but the sight of her dad in the mess caused her to pause.
"Hey dad."
Ganis's mandibles fluttered in a smile.
"Spirits, I'm never going to get tired of hearing that again."
Jane couldn't help but smile in return, as she reached for the coffee.
"You made coffee? I hope you haven't taken it up. It's really not that great, it just happened to be one of the only human things I could keep down."
"No sweetheart, I haven't. I just made it for you, I used to make it when it was just Garrus and I, the smell would remind us of you, and somehow you felt closer."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be, I have you back. But I get the feeling something is still bothering you."
"I'm not sure I can talk about it yet dad, I love you, but I need to think about this one a little. I'm not even sure what it is bothering me yet."
Ganis nodded slightly, before turning with two plates of food.
"Garrus, is worried about you Red. He loves you, I love you. We're here for you, when you're ready."
He gave her a small smile and turned back towards the main battery.
~~00o00~~
Garrus turned as Ganis walked in and held out a hand for a plate, catching sight of Jane just over his shoulder in the mess.
"Jane's down? Maybe I should go talk to her, she's been pretty upset."
"I don't think she's ready to talk yet, eat Garrus, and give Red a bit alone. There will be time." Ganis said shaking his head slowly as Garrus settled back on to a crate.
"I just hope she knows she can tell me anything." Garrus's eyes were trained on the closed-door that led down the hall to the mess.
~~00o00~~
Jane watched her dad walk away, she thought about following but a voice to her side made her jump.
"Commander, something I can help with?"
"Spirits, Thane I know I owe you for helping me with my memories, but shit, you've got to make some noise when you walk, or I might end up shooting you, no one I know can make me jump like that."
Thane chuckled slightly and moved to sit at the table.
"I am sorry Commander, I just saw you with your father, it brought back, well let's say every time I see you with him I envy the both of you."
"Oh, why is that?"
"I have a son, and the connection you share with your father is, well I wish I had that."
"I didn't know you had a mate, a son. Actually I guess we never really talked about you, I'm sorry for that."
"You've had a lot on your mind, if you have a seat, I can tell you about it."
She nodded and set her cup down, sliding across the table from him.
"Do you remember, when you didn't have all of your memories, how I told you I wish I could forget mine?"
Jane nodded. "I do."
"The story of how I lost my wife and my son is one of those. I told you once that Nihlus was the only person to catch me in the act. I wasn't entirely truthful, my wife, though she wasn't so at the time, also caught me, she stopped me, woke me from my battle sleep, I know you understand that concept. Later she learned to trust and love me. We had a child together, I continued in my line of work, even though she didn't approve. She loved me by that point, and what can you do when you're in love? I got sloppy; she was killed by the men of some people I killed. I killed them, slowly, you and I are made to kill, and we are weapons, used by those who employ us. I killed these men of my own choice. I will have to atone for that, it is on my soul."
Jane thought back to Nihlus and her rage and quest to do anything to kill Saren, it had led to her own death at possibly the cost of her soul.
"Yes, I understand that better than you know."
"Hmm, or do I understand exactly and that's why I know you need to talk? You worry, about your life, here. After you were woken up, after you remembered your death; you wonder, do you have a place here, do you have a soul. Humans from what I know are funny, they think of their soul and their body as two separate things, but you are not human, you shouldn't worry about such things."
"You see, Thane that's the point, I'm not human, I'm not actually Turian, I'm a bit of so many things, how do we know we even have a soul? When I, died there wasn't anything, just darkness until I woke up in that lab, so what if there is nothing after this, what is the point?"
"The point, is to live, make the best of every moment, yes? Your soul is you, the nothingness you were in, it could have been that you weren't ready to move on, evidently true by the fact that you are here. You are an amazing woman, I am, well, I am pleased to have gotten the chance to know you."
Jane smiled.
"Thanks Thane, it's a pleasure to get to know you better as well. I would like to hear more about your son though, if you have time."
Thane chuckled low.
"Of course, there is one memory of a dance I would like to share, but I would ask something in return."
"Anything Thane."
"Would you tell me, what it was like to die?"
Garrus stopped dead in the hallway, Jane and Thane were sitting at the table at the far end of the mess and he could hear Jane's laughter floating back towards him.
She was laughing, why? She hadn't laughed hell she'd barely smiled, in the week since they'd been back on the Normandy. Was she becoming attached to the Drell assassin?
He knew Jane's personality was strong and that it would most assuredly attract Thane, but he must know. He must be able to smell that Jane was taken. Garrus could feel the protective territorial part of him coming out, but he didn't move as he watched Jane jump up from the table and do that stupid dance that she always did when they found themselves at clubs. He loved that goofy part of her, and was disappointed that he wasn't the only one to see it. As he heard Thane laugh and call her Siha, he turned back to the battery and let the doors close behind him.
Ganis regarded him quietly for a moment. He still held the dishes he was taking to the mess, and his face was that of confusion and sadness.
"What is it Garrus? Don't tell me you got lost on your way to the mess." Ganis chuckled slightly, but cut it short when Garrus didn't even flinch.
"I can't lose her Ganis, I just got her back." His face went hard, Ganis knew that look, that was a territorial glare and his stance said he was ready to fight for it.
"What are you talking about? You and my daughter are mated, she's not going anywhere, and Kaidan is nowhere around. You have nothing to worry about."
Garrus narrowed his eyes towards Ganis.
"Thane is out there with her right now, they're talking, she's laughing. He has a pet name for her, like you call her Red, he's calling her Siha. What I should really do is."
Garrus's mandibles went slack as Ganis laughed at him.
"Really, Garrus you're upset that she's talking and laughing with her crew? Lots of commanders end up with pet names from their crew. You know that."
Garrus folded his arms over his chest, his mandibles pulled tightly to his face.
"Well she might not mean it that way, but I know the Drells laugh, he's attracted to her. She can't smell his pheromones but I can."
Ganis laughed again.
"Red is attractive, and I don't just mean the red hair, green eyes. Once you've seen her fight, if you're that type, men can't seem to help themselves."
Ganis quirked a brow plate.
"You couldn't, as I remember you telling me about a certain woods, and a certain 'perfect' shot, you were hooked."
"Yes, but she didn't have a mate then."
Ganis shook his head.
"Nothing I say is going to keep you from having a talk with Thane, is it?"
Garrus shook his head and walked back to his console setting the dishes aside.
"Nope."
"You're just going to find out that she is Jane, being nice to her crew and Thane is in love or at the very least attracted to what he can't have. I think it's better not to push it. You're being very, Turian right now."
Garrus nodded with a slight smirk.
"Some lines need to be drawn."
~~00o00~~
"Hey Commander, nice to see you up here, we're docking now. Word is, the illusive man is sending people in to do, 'upgrades'." I'm not sure I approve of them touching my baby."
"It's okay Joker, let them do what they need to, let them have access to the crew as well. I know you have reservations, I do too, but this is bigger than any of us."
"Understood Commander."
"I'll be in my Quarters if anyone needs me."
~~00o00~~
Garrus fidgeted behind his console for another hour, before Ganis finally sighed and turned to him.
"Garrus, go, you're not doing anyone any good here."
Garrus turned with a nod and left the room; he walked down the hall and paused before Thane's quarters. He listened, afraid he might hear voices, but hearing none he buzzed.
"Come in."
Garrus stepped into the room, Thane turned in his char, the smile on his face quickly replaced by a questioning gaze.
"Garrus, something I can do for you?"
"Yes, you can tell me why you're hitting on my mate."
Thane blinked, but didn't seem surprised.
"Yes, I saw you down the hall when Siha and I were talking."
"Don't call her that."
Thane blinked again, motioning for Garrus to have a seat.
"There is nothing between the Siha and I, I know she is with you. One would have to be blind, and have no sense of smell, not to know. That being said, if she was not attached, I would not think twice about perusing her, she is, an amazing woman."
Garrus exhaled, he had not expected that.
"Yes she is. I just spent two years thinking I'd never get her back, and now it's hard to believe I have her. I'm sorry; I just saw you laughing and well."
"No, I understand. You see her at night though, at her worst and her best. You need to talk to her. She's feeling very lost. A feeling I know very well. I care for her Garrus, more than I thought possible in someone I have just met. Take care of her."
Garrus found himself nodding, something about the look in the Drell's deep eyes caught him off guard. He cared about Jane, Thane must see the same things he could see in Jane, and he couldn't fault him for that. It was more than that though, the sadness on his face spoke of a pain that Garrus knew all too well.
"I will Thane." And then he caught himself saying words he didn't even know were in him.
"As long as you'll make sure she's okay if something happens to me."
Thane nodded, a silent understanding between the two, and Garrus left the room shocked at what had just happened, making his way towards his and Jane's quarters.
~~00o00~~
Jane sat up with a start, cold sweat dripped down her back, and her breathing was ragged and shallow. She felt like she had just run the confidence course back at the Vila. Garrus was sitting up next to her; he brushed a few strands of damp hair back from her face.
"Same one sweetheart?" She nodded and leaned against him, smiling in spite of the fact she felt like her heart was going to pound out of her chest. She smiled because ever since they had been properly mated he had taken to calling her sweetheart, and even slipped and called her Red a few times. The pet names, saved normally only for her dad seemed natural coming from him.
She had had these nightmares, or at least she just hoped they were nightmares. If they were visions, they didn't bode well for anyone. Every time she slept they would play, over and over, like a broken VI recording.
"They are getting worse, and now you don't even wake up through them. You've been talking in your sleep for over an hour. I couldn't wake you, do you remember it?"
Jane nodded slowly.
"Yeah I do, Sovereign was only the beginning, I need to understand why they are talking to me. We need to figure out how we're going to stop this."
"Your dad was right though, we can't do this without the Alliance and the Council, not to mention the Turian fleet."
"Right, but we're one step closer, the illusive man knows, after these upgrades are done we'll be one step closer."
Looking about the room, Jane frowned.
"I would give anything, to just be able to go back to Randiv, live our lives like we should Garrus, I'm so afraid, afraid that perhaps I." She trailed off.
"Talk to me, tell me what is bothering you, what is keeping you from me." Garrus frowned.
"What you felt like you could tell Thane but not me."
Jane shrugged looking more through him, and not at him.
"I'm afraid that, there isn't anything after this that maybe I don't have a soul, or maybe there are no souls. Thane helped me, in his way. But the real reason that I'm so afraid is I'm scared, that if we don't make it through this, I won't be with you again. My soul won't find yours. You see what I mean?"
"I do, but you know I'll find you. But if we don't do something soon, there will be nothing left for us to come home to, and I'd rather think of it that way. Action now, until we have no other choice."
"Which is why it's time for us to leave, and do something about this and I'm not taking no from anyone, as an answer. We don't have time to play politics."
Garrus growled deep in his chest, pulled Jane against him and nipped gently at her shoulder, before resting his head against hers.
"I love it when you talk like that, cutting right through the bullshit. I knew you were perfect, and I love you."
"Well I was designed to be, the best of the best." Jane meant it to be a joke, but the undertone in her voice gave away her anger, at that particular topic.
"I love you, Jane Vandrel-Vakarian; not whatever you think they made you. I love the woman who would do anything for her dad, the woman who gives everyone a second chance; even if I think they should be shot." He grinned, flipping Jane over to her back, licking and nipping down her body; he paused at her waist and chuckled.
"I love the woman, who shot her ex out in to space in an escape pod. Trust me, those things can't be created. Your body." He paused, licking from her waist to her breast.
"May be created, and is perfect by the way. But I know for a fact, that the way you were raised gave you everything that is in here, and here." He pointed to her heart, and then her head.
"When you couldn't remember where you had come from, your shot went to shit. That tells me, that you are what you are, because of the people in your life, not because someone created you."
Her heart was bursting; there was so much she wanted to say, in this time when they should be getting ready to spend the rest of their lives together. Instead she pulled him closer and whispered.
"Make love to me Garrus, before we have to leave, before."
He cut her off, and gently laid a talon over her lips.
"Shh, always Jane, this is always now. I know no other way to be with you. This place can be with us always. When we're together, no matter if it's here, or on Randiv, when we're together that's our time. I'll take whatever I can get, and whatever may come, no matter what happens I'll be right here waiting for you."
Taking her in his arms, with every touch he made a promise, that they would be one in body, mind and even the soul she thought she couldn't have, he gave her his.
~~00o00~~
John sat up to his name being called; he realized too late it was his father's voice. Who the hell had patched him through?
"Wake up John, we need to talk."
"I have nothing to say to you."
"Well I have something to say to you, and you will listen. After you and Jane confirm what we've told everyone all along, that the Reapers are invading and you come crawling back to the Alliance for help, I won't be able to save you, you're with her. Unless."
John didn't like the sound of that last word, it was just like his seventeenth birthday, when the ultimatum to join the military came up.
"Unless what sir?"
"Unless, after you get the proof we need, you turn Jane in. I can take care of the rest, just when you have what we need, message Anderson, turn Jane in forget the Asari; and everything will be forgiven. If not, I wash my hands of you. You know better than anyone that I do not make idle threats or promises."
With that the comm went dead and John's rooms went silent.
~~00o00~~
"The upgrades have gone in well Jane, I was pleased at how well your crew and the Cerberus crew worked together, now for the information I promised you. I am sending you the location of a disabled collector vessel; it was brought down by a Turian ship, before it was destroyed. Get your team and check it out. Anything you can find that can help us figure out how to traverse the Omega four relay is vital, we need to trace them to the source, we need to know what they are doing, proof of the Reapers, period."
"Got it, we'll be in touch when we're out."
Hitting her comm as Jane turned away from her console she stood feeling a bit woozy.
"Garrus, gather everyone, we're moving in on a collector ship I need you and Thane ready to go. I'll be down momentarily."
"But as she turned in to her washroom and locked the door behind her, she found as she washed her face in the sink that she had the oddest feeling in her stomach, and about twenty minutes later Garrus tapped on the door lightly.
"Sweetheart, I'm sure the collectors don't care what your hair looks like, for that matter I've never known you to care what it looks like, and I love it no matter what. So, do you think we could get this briefing over with?"
Jane cleared her throat as she leaned over the sink.
"Yeah, I just don't feel very well, wait down with everyone else, I'll be right there."
"I told you not to eat whatever it was, that Joker was eating."
Garrus laughed as she cussed on his way out of their quarters.
As he entered the debriefing room, Ganis, John, Tali and Thane turned questioning glances at him.
"So, where's Red?"
"She said she's not feeling well, I told her not to eat that human food that Joker and John made." Garrus laughed, but went silent at the look of shock on John and Ganis's face.
"Red's never been sick a day in her life. I doubt John's ever been sick a day in his life." Ganis motioned towards John and he shook his head.
"No, I've never been sick, I think that goes against the 'perfect' soldier thing."
"Well if she's not sick then what is wrong with her, she's not one to really hang out primping in the washroom."
Garrus looked from face to face, he couldn't see Tali's expression but could tell she was chuckling, the others all wore looks of shock.
"What the hell are you guys staring at me like that for? If she's not sick." Garrus stopped cold, as the realization of what they were getting at hit him.
"No, she couldn't, that's not possible. We all know it's not possible, right? Ganis, John, back me up here. It's not possible." He trailed off, and then stared up at the smile Ganis was wearing and whispered.
"Is it?"