"I don't know, Professor, he just fainted!"

"His eyes went all blank!"

"I see, well, in that case-"

I groaned, and blinked my eyes open, shutting them tight again when I was met with bright white. After a moment, I opened them again, to stare up into the blurry faces of Regulus, Sirius, and Professor Dumbledore.

"What happened?" I moaned, rubbing my head. "Ow. And why does it feel like someone whacked me 'round the head with a Bludger?"

"You fainted, mate," Sirius said anxiously. "Your eyes went all blank again, and then you just passed out- we, er, couldn't catch you in time, you hit your head."

I felt my face heat up. "I fainted?"

"Yeah," Regulus answered. "You did! It scared us."

"It scared you," Sirius corrected.

"Boys, if you'll go, I must talk to Mr. Potter," Dumbledore ordered. Sirius and Regulus nodded, and, hesitantly, left. "I assume you had a flashback?"

"It was worse, this time," I answered. "Er… did I faint in DADA when we had the boggart?"

"Yes, you did, briefly," Dumbledore chuckled, and I blushed again. "Nothing to be ashamed of. Tell me, what brought it on this time?"

"That- that alley we were in," I whispered. "That was… that was where they cornered us. That was where he died…"

"I see," Dumbledore said, the twinkle in his eyes gone. "That would trigger a flashback, especially being there with Sirius. Now, I'd inquire as to why you were in Hogsmeade, but I don't believe now would be the time."

"Probably not," I agreed. "Anyways, how long was I out?"

"Little more than thirty minutes," Dumbledore assured me, and I groaned. "Don't worry. You haven't missed the party."

"Ugh, how am I supposed to face Sirius," I moaned. "He'll ask me all sorts of questions that I can't answer- and what if I have another flashback?"

"Hmm, I believe we could pass that off for a concussion," Dumbledore said mischievously. "Though I daresay you and I will have more problems with Poppy if I let you out early."

"Urgh," I muttered. "More potions. Yuck."

"Don't worry," Dumbledore smiled. "You'll be fine. Go. Enjoy yourself- and I'll deal with Madam Pomfrey."

"Hey, James! You okay?" Sirius asked, handing me a butterbeer. I nodded, avoiding his eyes. "That's good. You got us worried there for a minute."

"James, there you are!" Lily exclaimed. "I heard what happened- oh, James, I knew you shouldn't have gone with them!"

"Relax, Lils," I forced a smile. "I'm fine."

"Yes, very fine, considering you have a bump on the back of your head the size of grapefruit," Remus commented sarcastically. I rubbed the back of my head; there was a small bump, nothing major. Certainly not the size of a grapefruit. "Plus, I can smell your distress from the other side of the common room."

"I'm not distressed," I replied. Remus raised an eyebrow. "Really. I'll be fine!"

"If you insist," Remus rolled his eyes. "And, Sirius, go get rid of that Firewhiskey- do not drink it! Throw it out before I tell McGonagall."

"It's for the older years," Sirius declared defensively. "Tell one of them to get rid of it."

"Well, it's on your head if we get caught with those," Remus replied. "Honestly, sometimes I wonder…"

"Sirius, what's this?" Regulus asked from across the room. Sirius and I glanced over to see Regulus holding a bottle of Firewhiskey, innocently looking at it.

"Crud," Sirius muttered, racing across the room. "No, Regulus, have a butterbeer, Firewhiskey is not for kids, that's for the older kids!"

"Such a good influence," I snickered, watching Sirius amusedly, but my heart wasn't in it. I missed the days we would run around the park in Remus's neighborhood, climbing trees and doing everything Remus warned us not to. These memories were almost as painful as the ones of Sirius's death.

"James, sweetie, why don't you have some candy?" Lily suggested, offering me a Fizzing Whizbee, which I took gratefully. She pulled me into a hug, resting her head on my chest. "Your face is happy, but your heart is so sad… I wish there was some way I could help…"

"Don't worry, Lils," I murmured. "I'll be fine."

"Fine, fine, fine, that's your favorite word?" Lily giggled. "Come on, now. Have some fun."

"You sound like Dumbledore," I laughed, pulling away. "Alright, you may regret saying that. Fun it is. Hey, Sirius! Peter! Get your tails over here!"

"Yeah, yeah, coming!" Sirius replied, and I saw him tell Regulus something before rushing back over here. "Sorry. Had to explain to him what he could and couldn't eat or drink."

"Yeah," Remus snorted. "As if he'll listen to you."

Peter arrived next, smiling from ear to ear.

"Okay, you lot," I paused. "Er… Lily?"

"Got it," Lily smiled, giving me a kiss on the cheek before going to hang out with her friends Marlene and Alice. I turned back to the Marauders.

"Okay, Sirius, have you got the Voice Changing Gas from Zonko's?" I asked. Sirius beamed, and pulled out a small round thing, which I figured contained the gas. "And the antidote?"

"I've got it!" Peter said proudly, holding out four vials. "One for each of us!"

"Thanks, Pete," I beamed. "Now, Moony, have you got éclairs? With the hair color changing potions?"

"Yep," Remus smirked, pulling out a tray of éclairs. "I had the house-elves help out. I figured we might need them."

"Here's the antidote. Now, go start passing the éclairs out," I ordered. Remus grinned, headed off, and started offering Gryffindors éclairs. "Alright, Sirius, launch the Voice Changing Gas," Sirius nodded, and tossed the object into the middle of the room. A light pink smoke filled the room. "Peter, antidote!"

We all downed the antidote just as the smoke cleared.

"Hey," I heard one girl say, in a deep, rasping voice. "What's wrong with my voice?"

"I sound like a girl!" squeaked Regulus. Sirius bit back a laugh, and I snorted.

"What's going on!? My hair is orange!"

"Mine is green!"

"I sound like McGonagall!"

"Gideon, I think we've been pranked! By who?"

"Who else?" Lily's irritated voice rose above the crowd, and it took all my self-control not to burst out laughing. Her voice was high a squeaky, like a house elf's, and her hair was jet black with neon yellow streaks. "JAMES POTTER! SIRIUS BLACK! REMUS LUPIN! PETER PETTIGREW!"

"Oh, look at the time!" Remus exclaimed. "I've got homework!"

"Me too, and I need James's help," Sirius declared, grabbing my wrist and heading towards the dorm. "And Pete, don't you have homework too?"

"Oh!" Peter said. "Yeah!"

With that, we all ran out of the common room, and up to our dorm.

It was late in the evening by the time the others had fallen asleep, and I snuck back into the common room. Lily was on the couch, waiting for me, a bemused expression on her face. Otherwise, the room was deserted.

"I'm not that mad," Lily giggled as I inched towards her hesitantly. I sighed in relief, and picked up my pace, sitting beside her comfortably. "So. What caused this flashback?"

"We were in the alley…" I whispered. "The one… the one Sirius died in…"

"Oh," Lily sighed, grabbing my hand and squeezing it. "James, you need to let go. It isn't your fault, and we'll save him. No use dwelling on what happened before."

"It's so hard," I said heavily. "Because as much as I'd like to forget it ever happened, I can't, and it just keeps getting worse. I think I'm getting better. I can talk to Sirius so much easier, but…"

"But?"

"I'll never be the same as I was," I admitted. "I will always be scarred by that night. I would have been scarred even if it wasn't Sirius. But it was, and that makes it so much worse."

"Oh, James," Lily whispered, resting her head on my shoulder. "You'll get better, I know you will. Think about happier times. Think about… hmm… think about the days we would spend out by the pond at Remus's house, just talking. Think about the times when your parents would tease us, and now we admit their teasing to be true."

"Remember when you bought Sirius a leash and collar for Christmas," I asked amusedly. "And then insisted on taking him for a walk around the neighborhood?"

"Yes, I remember that," said Lily fondly. "Remember when Remus dressed you up as Rudolph for Christmas?"

"Ugh, did you have to bring that up?" I blushed, before sighing. "Why can't things be so carefree like that?"

"They would be if you'd let them," Lily pointed out. "But you're living in the past."

"They're all lucky," I murmured. "Sirius and Remus and Peter… you know, I'm still having nightmares. Thank goodness for silencing charms, otherwise I'd of woken them several times over."

"You should get a Dreamless Sleep potion," Lily suggested. "I'm sure I could get Sev to brew one for you."

"Yes, that'd be nice…" I agreed. "Especially since none of us can brew potions worth our lives- unless, of course, they have to do with pranks or Animagi. In which case we suddenly have a strange affinity for potion brewing."

"How long before Sirius and Peter get it, do you think?" Lily asked. I shrugged. "Won't take as long with you helping them along."

"Yeah," I smiled slightly. "Full moons were so much fun. I'm not worried. Moony recognized me, and he should recognize Sirius and Peter. Actually, I'm more worried about Sirius doing something stupid."

"Hmm, true," Lily laughed. "Watch him fall off his broom during Quidditch practice."

"I'll catch him," I declared. "Merlin, wouldn't that just suck? We come back to save him and he goes and kills himself by falling off his broom."

"Glad you're joking again," Lily beamed. "I missed that."

"I joked with the others," I defended feebly.

"Hmm, not very genuinely," Lily retorted. "Anyways, James, I think you're on your way to recovery."

"I hope so," I murmured. "But… what if… what if we can't save him?"

"James, we will."

"Lily, no, listen! What if we prevent the attack and he dies anyways? What if we can't prevent the attack?" I asked, feeling horribly pessimistic and wishing I could have as much faith as Lily did. "I don't think I could stand it if Sirius died again."

There was a loud thud behind us. I spun around quickly. No one was there.

"James, you won't let that happen," Lily smiled. "No matter what, I think you'll keep Sirius alive."

"I sure hope so," I sighed. Suddenly, I heard another noise. "Lily, wait here. I heard something."

"Okay, James," Lily said unsurely. "Be careful."

"I will," I assured her. I crept over to the boys' staircase, where I'd heard the noise. There was a book on the floor- and a boy, looking like a deer caught in the headlights, near the top of the stairs.

"Remus!"

A/N: Dun dun dun! How much did Moony hear? I know it seems early for Remus to find out, but a friend and I both decided he was mature enough to know at least a little- how much? Well, you'll have to wait and see, won't you? I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Big thank you to my reviewers, Beside Moonlight, potterhead934, Kazo Sakamari, N.E. Person, and weasleychick32! You lot get- drumroll please!- virtual James plushies! Don't worry, the plushies are a lot happier than James is in this story. ;) Thanks for reading!

I still don't own Harry Potter! What's up with that? ;)