"Of all evil I deem you capable: Therefore I want good from you. Verily, I have often laughed at weaklings who thought themselves good because they had no claws."

-Friedrich Nietzsche, self important jerk who occasionally made really good points.

"Honey, we're crooks. If everything were right, we'd be in jail."

-Hoban Washburne, awesome.

Michael listened carefully to his radio. Timing was important. Team 2 had already engaged the primary target, designed to draw their enemy's attention.

"Go."

Michael hit the trigger on his detonator, blowing open the door to the otherwise discreet office building. Without waiting, he rushed the room, flanked on both sides by his four team mates. He trusted them completely. Like Michael, they were all well trained and had rehearsed for this moment for a month. Like Michael, they were all dressed in black clothes, masks, gloves, and body armor. Each had a G style short barreled rifle with a suppressor on it, and each knew exactly what they were doing.

The five men (the oldest among them being a little under twenty) made their way through a large, open lobby to an elevator. A lone security guard rounded the corner, wide eyed, wondering what the noise had been. He, like most on Beleraphon, wouldn't know the sound of a proper explosion if it... Well, if it blew in their building's door, giving access to five would-be terrorists.

Michael took in the guard at a glance. He'd left his pulse rifle on his desk to go use the restroom. The man was probably just a working stiff. If he put up his hands or made any signs of surrender, Michael had every intention of just tying him up. They were here for intel, not destruction. Destruction was the first team's job.

The guard made a decision that cost him his life. Specifically, he rushed to his desk, snatching up his rifle (what he thought he could do against five men in full body armor with their own carbines already up and ready, Michael would ponder into his drinks for a week to come. Maybe the man had watched too many action movies as a child?). The second his hand touched metal, five bullets from silenced weapons entered his body and he slumped to the floor.

Sorry, dude, Michael thought, not really meaning it.

Getting in the elevator, his best friend Dan plugged a data pad into the elevator's controls. They needed access to the basement, which was restricted. No one thought to try the guard's key cards since they were on a time crunch. Besides, they wanted their enemy to know they could just walk right through their defenses. One of the squad, Peter, stayed to watch the entrance. They expected no trouble, but weren't taking chances.

The elevator went down as Dan put away his data pad for a moment and switched back to the rifle. When the door opened the team was in a long hallway, lined with data ports and screens. It was a basic archive, but River would have noticed it as the entrance to the last Alliance facility she'd been in. A facility where Simon had rescued her. Since her last "visit" it had been converted to data storage only.

Knowledge is power. Michael and his team were here to become mighty.

Waypoint

The speeder still worked well enough to get its passengers to where they needed to be, despite making a concerning knocking sound. Victor and River had parked the speeder in the only parking garage in town. As Petaline had warned, the fees were almost as expensive as parking in a downtown garage in a Core world major city, but Victor wasn't concerned.

"Here's the plan-" Victor started as they walked down the street trying their hardest to blend in. We're the blendiest fireman and girl-in-torn-dress ever, Victor thought to himself, with a perverted sense of pride.

"We're going to get money and then by me a dress," River said.

"How did you know-"

"It wasn't that hard to figure out," River said. Her eyes were drinking up as much of the city as she could, and she spoke in a distracted voice. "I'm a genius, remember?"

"What if I said we needed to get you a tuxedo?" Victor asked just to be contrary.

"Then you'd have to wear the dress."

Victor laughed.

In the bank

Victor had to check his weapons at the door. He took off his gun belt and passed it, sword and all, over the counter at the front door before going to the teller. He had other weapons on him, but knew handing his belt off was more a show of good faith. The fact that he could walk in with his weapons on in the first place made the whole ritual a little pointless.

"What can I help you with, today?" the teller asked. She was a black woman with a name tag that read "Maho."

Victor hastily scrawled the twelve digit account number he wanted to empty onto a piece of paper. "I'd like this account transferred into gold please."

The teller looked up the account. On an actual computer. Victor considered himself rugged, but being this far out in the black got old. He liked coming to the "little Core" towns like this every now and then.

"All of it?" Maho asked.

"Yes ma'am. It's a wedding present from the folks. Me and the little lady are heading to New Kashmir soon," Victor said, trying to sound like a yokel. Yokels said things like "little lady". In addition, people tended to put their best foot forward in front of rich newly weds. Victor just wished the teller were a man. Men didn't like telling pretty girls "no." If he'd had time, he would have put River's name on the account and come up with some kind of sob story.

"Well that's going to be a problem," Maho said. Of course it is, Victor thought. "In order to close an account, I'll need a thumb print on this" she produced a data pad with a termination form on it "and we can close it in twenty four hours. Unfortunately, you can only draw half of your account today."

Victor had been afraid of that. "That's fine," he said, putting his thumb to plastic. "I can come back tomorrow." No sense making a fuss. That would stick in Maho's memory. His coat would probably do that anyway, but sometimes one sacrificed ambiguity to look this good.

Leaving the bank, Victor turned to River. "Where does one go to purchase clothing in a town like this?" he asked.

River gave him an incredulous look. "What makes you think I know?" she asked as they picked a direction at random and started walking.

"You're a genius," Victor said, smartly.

A clothing store wasn't too hard to find, actually. There were plenty of them around, promising the latest in frontier fashion, obviously a marketing technique designed to draw in as many soldiers as possible, most of whom were in their late teens and had never left the Core worlds. Entering the first one they found, Victor noticed signs saying things like "Get your best girl a dress she'd appreciate!" and "Bring the frontier home with you!" River was immediately interested in the "sparkly" section. Victor sat down in a chair next to a middle aged man who looked about as bored as Victor. The chairs were facing the changing rooms. Victor assumed they were here specifically so bored company could wait for their friends and family to hurry up and change already.

"So what's with the sword?" the man asked, as Victor unhooked it to sit down.

"It makes me look cool," Victor said. He was getting a bit old to pretend to be a goofy kid, but the facade came in handy at times like these. He cursed at himself for not watching his slang. Out here, people said "shiny" not "cool".

"Maybe I should get me one," the man said.

"Yeah, maybe-"

"How do I look?" River said, appearing in front of Victor. Normally, Kaylee picked her clothes for her, flowery dresses and the like. River was pretty proud of her choice.

Victor unlocked his sword with his left thumb in reflex. Rather than walk around the chair, she'd jumped over the back of it. Show off. "You look good," Victor said dumbly, looking around, confused. What the hell-

"Good?" the older gentleman said chuckling. To River he said, "You look completely amazing. Just get out of here before my wife asks for one. That thing looks expensive."

River was dressed in a solid gold mini skirt. Victor could tell the "gold" was most likely plastic, but it still looked good on her. She'd even managed to find knee high, gold biker boots to match. The boots had high heels that made her about five inches taller.

Had Victor been paying attention, he might have made an overblown remark, but something was wrong. Looking over his shoulder, he spotted what was bothering him about this situation.

The dressing rooms were positioned in front of the chairs. To do her running leap over the chair, she'd had to come from behind him. Victor spotted the remnants of River's last dress, her shorts, and her black combat boots on the floor. She'd changed clothes on the spot. Victor's eyes went wide as he considered what would have happened had someone called port security. Fortunately, no one had seemed to notice.

"You look great," Victor said hastily. "Let's just pay up and get gone. We don't want to be late."

Grabbing his sword in one hand and his crazy companion in the other, he rushed her to the cashier by the door.

"Late for what?" River wondered out loud, making Victor almost have a heart attack. This girl couldn't take a hint.

"You watch her son," the man called after them, trying to impart some worldly wisdom. "A fine girl like that, you don't take your eye offa."

"You have no idea," Victor muttered to himself.

Out on the street, sword hastily replaced his belt, Victor held River's hand and walked through the crowd. He took a second to marvel at the convenience of paved roads and side walks before slowing down. Walking shoulder to shoulder with River, he leaned over to speak. Any onlooker would see a couple of teenagers wandering about downtown, wasting time. Any onlooker would have seen exactly what Victor wanted.

"What would you have done if someone had seen you?" Victor asked, trying to keep his voice pleasant. He forced himself to breath evenly through his nose, part of meditation his old sensei had taught him. Victor wished he'd been a better student.

"What?" River asked confused. They'd left in such a hurry, she'd lost her old boots, as well as her favorite shorts. She also felt uncomfortable being this close to Victor. His mind felt weird. Like a constant, gnawing hunger at the back of her head, buzzing like a bee, barking like a dog, wanting off the leash. Control, control, maintain control. Can't keep it up, gonna' snap-

"While we're here we have to maintain a low profile, are you familiar with the concept?" Victor said. "Even though you're bounty isn't recirculated anymore, your still on the 'wanted' list, got it?"

"Got it?" River repeated bleakly as she realized what had happened. She'd messed up again. If she kept screwing up, she was going to get sent back to that place.

"Public nudity may not be the most exciting way to get busted-" as he said that, Victor thought Maybe it is, but he kept his thoughts focused. "-but if the portos get called, you get hauled off. And me with you!" Actually, Victor would probably cut his losses and play it like he was turning River in. Or he'd start cutting people up. He liked to keep an open mind. "You've got to show people what they want to see."

"You're wearing a fireman's coat," River snapped, angry at being talked down to. "How's that for blending in?"

"It's bulletproof, so it's worth the risk," Victor said. "Besides, looking a little weird keeps people from taking me seriously which helps me out. Stripping naked in public accomplishes nothing but trouble."

River broke free of Victor and dashed down the back alley they were crossing. Victor followed at a sedate pace, seeing the alley was blocked off by a building. He made sure to maintain some distance between himself and Lady Kicksalot, in case she was mad at him. He felt bad. Kind of. He'd read somewhere that people didn't like to be told that they were wrong. At the time he'd wondered why. It seemed to him, finding out your wrong about something was important. He'd also been told things like "It's not what you say it's how you say it", which he also never understood. His head was starting to hurt. Today was going to be one of those days. Also he'd suffered a mild trauma to his head recently which he wasn't bitter about at all.

River stopped long enough to kick a dumpster. When that didn't accomplish what she wanted, she kicked it again. Four more times.

"You show that can who's boss," Victor said as he got closer.

"Can you leave me alone?" River asked. She seemed... pissed. "I need a minute."

Victor nodded, even though the girl wasn't facing him. He'd needed a minute or two before, himself. He took his vial of coca extract out of his pocket and took a dose.

"That stuff's bad for you," River said as he replaced it. She turned to face him, seeming to be in control again.

"It's bad for everyone," Victor said. He'd had this conversation with more people than he cared to count. It always amazed him that people, knowing who he was and what he did for a living, seemed to care what he put in his nose.

Victor pulled cigarettes and a lighter out of another pocket. He place two cigarettes in his mouth and lit them. After replacing the cigarettes and lighter, he offered a cigarette to River.

"I don't smoke," River said, waving it off.

Victor sighed heavily, expelling a cloud of smoke. H wished he were alone. Explaining things to people bothered him. Most times, he sounded like he was talking down to people, which made them upset. Most times, he was talking down to people. Which made them upset.

"Most people don't smoke," Victor said. "I don't smoke. Since no one smokes, smoking will help keep people away." He tilted his head shortly to the entrance of the alley. "It goes back to what I was saying before about blending in. Anyone who looks in on us will see two people in a private conversation, smoking cigarettes, being considerate enough not to do it where it will bother people. That won't stand out, so we won't be remembered." He offered the cigarette again.

River took it this time and tried to inhale some smoke. She immediately began coughing.

"Stop that," Victor said, in a tone that made it clear he thought she was doing it on purpose.

Anger flashed across River's face. "I'm not doing it on purpose!" she snapped.

"Didn't say you were," Victor said flatly. This whole babysitter routine was getting old. After taking another drag on his cigarette, he said "When you're up to facing people again, we'll head back."

"Where?" River asked, trying to take another drag on her cigarette. She started to wonder who in their right mind would smoke on a regular basis.

"The Heart," Victor said. "I can't retrieve the rest of my gold until tomorrow, so I'll come back tomorrow." He looked pointedly at the dented dumpster next to River. "With someone who kicks less." Maybe he'd eat the cost and just hire a girl. Maybe he'd ask Jayne. Jayne seemed like a pretty "with it" fellow. Anyone who spent that much time lifting weights and drinking couldn't be all bad.

"Don't you wanna' do something?" River asked, suddenly. No trace of her previous anger remained.

"Like what?" Victor asked. What was she on about now?

"I don't know. It seems like a waste to come all this way when we've got no work to do and not do something fun."

"I hate fun," Victor said, making his best "sour face".

River rolled her eyes. "Seriously? What do you do when you have nothing to do?"

Victor put out his cigarette by squeezing the ember off of the end, then chucked the filter into the dumpster. "Practice sword fighting."

"What else?" River asked.

"Exercise."

River rolled her eyes again. Apparently, her mother had never told her they would roll out of her head if she kept doing that. "What else?"

"Read training manuals."

"What else?"

Now Victor was starting to get annoyed. "Write bad poetry in a darkened room while crying about the unfairness of life."

"Really?"

"No!"

"Come on," River said, throwing her cigarette in the dumpster. She'd given up on smoking it and it had gone out. "What do you do just for fun? To relax and take a break?"

She must not get out much, Victor thought, exasperated. "Drugs and alcohol?" Victor said. What was she fishing for?

River crossed her arms under her breasts with her own look of exasperation. "You are so pathetic!"

"Hey!" Victor protested. River raised an eyebrow, daring him to contradict her. After a moment of trying to think of something scathing and witty to say, he realized she was baiting him. She probably had a follow up insult waiting. "Nuh uh!" he declared.

This was going no where. "So what do other people do for fun?"

Victor wasn't sure, himself. When he'd been a company man, he'd spent his vacations doing things like skydiving, skiing, and scuba diving. None of those things were exactly on the table. What did the average person do for fun? Sit around and play video games? That didn't seem right. Live theatre? "Why don't you find someone and ask them?" he said. He was starting to feel dumb, which was unusual for him. He was used to having all the answers, but had never been faced with so simple a question before.

"I'm asking you!" River said, feeling much the same as Victor. She knew Mal, Simon, Kaylee, Wash, and Zoe had always liked getting off the ship as much as possible. There had to be something interesting to do.

"Why is this so important to you?" Victor asked.

"Lover's quarrel?" a new voice asked.

Victor and River looked to the mouth of the alley. Bearing down on them were four male youths. The one who'd spoken had a face full of piercings, tanned skin, and Asiatic features. One of the others was a pale boy who looked like a sumo wrestler and stood almost as tall as Victor. The last two were the youngest of the group and obviously brothers. They had dark hair, slicked back with oil and matching dark eyes.

"You have got to be joking," Victor muttered under his breath. He knew what was going on at a glance. On some level, he could appreciate it. This alley was these punks turf. It was probably abandoned because the locals knew to stay away. By being here, especially with River dressed the way she was, they'd just volunteered to be mugged. Victor turned to face the punks, making his profile seem as large as possible. He peeled back the left half of his coat, revealing his sword. In addition to making it easier to draw, it showed the punks he was armed.

"Nice toy," Shrapnel Face said, apparently unfamiliar with what one could do with a sword. "Looks expensive." One of the brothers stepped up to River with a pocket knife and pressed it to her throat. River found the situation so absurd, she let the boy pin her to the wall of the alley. The other three punks had produced knives as well and circled Victor, picking him out as having something worth taking. "You should share with those less fortunate."

Victor wondered idly if brandishing his gut-buster would have worked better. "Gentlemen, I have an offer for you that is not to be refused!" Victor declared.

River had no problem picking up Victor's thoughts. There was only the one thing on his mind.

Once Victor was sure he had their undivided attention, he continued. The fact that they were listening said more about their resolve and motive than the knives. "You dudes leave, and I won't let my girlfriend here kick your collective asses." As far as he knew, River was worthless in a fight. He just wanted to insult his would-be muggers before he killed them all.

The punks began to laugh, as Victor had known they would. Victor waited patiently for someone to say "I do not find your offer to my liking, good sir!" or whatever today's waste of humanity was going to say. Maybe this batch would attack first or start with cuss words and insults. It made no difference.

Victor had decided he was going to take Metal Face first. Just as he was about to make up his mind on how (Should I stab the knife through his eye socket or his skull first?), something amazing happened.

The something amazing was River.

Author's Note: In case there's any doubt, I'm not setting up Victor/River romance. I'm deliberately pointing out what happens when two highly unusual people go out to do very usual things. Also, I've been putting in more detail, so there's twice as many words. I haven't forgotten about the Mal and Inara relationship either.

The Nietzsche quote will make more sense in part 2, but it's gonna take another couple of days.

All feedback is appreciated. What do you guys think about Victor? He's a horrible person, but is he likeable anyway?