"Suicidal?" Rachel choked out.

Siobhán nodded and continued. "Chance was walking to his dorm when he found Jesse. He was walking past Jesse's dorm building when a beer bottle fell onto the ground beside Chance. Of course, his first instinct was to look at where it came from. He saw Jesse sitting on the ledge of the dorm roof."

* chance's POV*

What the hell? Chance thought dodging the beer bottle. His raised his gaze to the rooftop, there he found someone. Someone sitting on the ledge of a 5 story building. Is he fucking insane?

Chance climbed the stairs to the rooftop, and carefully, slowly, opened the door. The boy turned his head to see who had intruded on him.

"Hey, man." Chance said. "You really shouldn't be sitting there. It's not safe." The boy laughed humorlessly.

"I'll be ok." he said before turning back around to face the street, feet dangling over the edge. Chance noticed the empty bottles sitting around the curly haired boy. He also hadn't failed to notice the tear trails that remained on his face. Chance went to sit beside the boy, swallowing his fear as he sat facing the door.

"Chance Bromwell.." he said sticking his hand out to the boy.

He shook Chance's hand. "Jesse. Jesse St. James."

"So what are you doing up here, Jesse? Drinking on the ledge of a five story building. You gotta have a death wish." Jesse just looked at him. Chance's heart skipped a beat as he realized he was right.

"You think it would kill me if I..fell..from here?" Jesse asked. Chance panicked for a moment.

"Umm..Probably, but there is a chance it would just maim you for life."

There was a moment of silence, before Chance couldn't control his curiosity anymore.

"What made you come up here?" he asked.

"I did." Jesse answered. "I fucked up, Chance. I fucked up the best thing I ever had."

"It can't be that bad, to make you wanna...end it all." Chance carefully chose his words.

"Yeah, it can be." Chance listened as Jesse regaled his tale. How he was asked to befriend his coaches daughter, how he fell for her, how her mother left her, and how he left her. His reputation, and how his parents were. By the time Jesse finished telling Chance what had happened, he, too, had needed a beer, and took one of Jesse's.

"She's the only one who ever really saw me. Just Jesse, not Jesse St. James. Rich kid, with generous parents. She's the only person I ever really felt anything for and I egged her. You know, the other people were right. I'm not worth the space I take up. I definitely proved that."

"You were right. You fucked up. But that doesn't mean that you aren't worth life. That doesn't mean you can't get her back." Chance said. "You know her better than anyone, right?" Jesse nodded. "Go back to Lima this spring break, find this Rachel chick, and win her back. Prove to her that you love her and that you can be the man she needs."

"How do I do that?" Jesse asked.

"You'll find a way. I can't really suggest anything, because I don't know her. I don't even really know you, but I know how it feels to be a fuck up." Chance stood to make his point. "Go make it right, dude!"

Jesse smiled and swung his legs over the ledge to stand on the roof. Chance took his beer from his hands and threw it in the trash.

"You can do it, bro. I know you can. I mean look at you! No homo, but you're the handsomest guy I've ever seen. I'd say let's be friends but you'd take all the chicks!" They both laughed.

They turned to leave the roof, and Chance slung an arm over Jesse's shoulders. Chance pulled the door open and waited for Jesse to walk through it, a little afraid to leave him alone again. Just before he walked through the door, Jesse turned to face him.

"Thanks, Chance." Chance could see the glint of hope in Jesse's eyes. Chance could only nod.

"Let's go somewhere." Chance said, as they walked down the stairs. Chance could see that this was going to be a friendship he would keep for a long time.

"Oh my god!" Rachel exclaimed, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Chance couldn't even begin to tell us about how broken, terrified, and worthless Jesse felt. It showed. A couple weeks later Jesse was inducted into Bruin Harmony. He and Chance are best friends, but Richie still sees a lot of Jesse, having classes with him, and being President of the group. He's kind of like his older brother in a way. He takes care of him sometimes. The have a special kind of love for each other. Its not sexual or anything, but its very strong. They would do anything for each other. Chance is like Jesse's younger brother. Although Chance did the saving the night they met, Jesse has been his savior ever since. He feels like he owes Chance his life. He thinks he owes everything to him now that you are back in his life. So I just have one favor to ask you." Siobhán, looked at Rachel with a demanding look.

"Don't leave him the way he was before. He won't make it out alive this time."

Rachel nodded as the tears poured down her face.

Siobhán walked Rachel back to Jesse's dorm. They had managed to laugh and joke again, but the weight of what Rachel had just learned weighed heavily on her chest. This whole time she had thought that while they dated the first time, Jesse had been a soulless automaton. Like the rest of VA. She had always thought he was just using her the first time, and now he felt guilty about it.

But there were those moment from the first time that made her believe otherwise. Moments when they would be laughing, or watching musicals on her couch. Moments when she could see something in his eye that showed her he cared.

Rachel had always had these thoughts conflicting each other in her mind, but when she came here the thoughts that he had actually cared about her gained a lead in the race to the truth.

For some reason, this new information hadn't cemented the idea for Rachel yet. She needed to hear him say it. Say what exactly, Rachel didn't know.

Rachel said goodbye and that she would call her later to Siobhán, and walked up the few flights of stairs to Jesse's room. When she opened the door, she found Jesse laying on his stomach on his bed, headphones on, flipping through a magazine, and quietly singing along. Rachel smiled. He hadn't noticed her come in. She thought, Jesse must have this strange hatred for shirts in his room. For once again, Jesse had just jeans on. Not that Rachel was complaining.

"I am in misery, there ain't no other who can comfort me..." Jesse wiggled on the bed to the beat of the song. Rachel closed the door as quietly as she could and tiptoed to the bed.

She gently pulled one of the headphones from his ear and said "Nice moves." in his ear. Jesse immediately stopped singing and 'dancing' and sat completely still. Embarrassment causing him to blush.

"Oh my god! Are you blushing? Jesse St. James is blushing! I've seen it all now." Rachel poked fun at Jesse as he cupped his face with both hands and laughed.

"Um..I wasn't expecting you just then." He said through his hands.

"Oh, I can see that." she joked.

"Did you have fun with Siobhán?" He said raising his face from his hands." Rachel nodded, and kept her show face in place, despite the fact that he had brought their conversation to the forefront of her mind.

"What did you guys do?" he said sitting up on the bed and removing the headphones from his ears.

"Oh we just walked around, ate lunch, and talked. She's really nice you know." she responded. Jesse nodded and smiled at her.

"Tell me about how you met Chance again." she ventured.

Jesse's face fell. His eyes closed and his head lolled back to rest against the wall for a moment, before he plastered on a show face and looked her in the eye. He stared there for a moment before he began glancing around the room. Finally he closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall, once more.

"Well, I had just come to UCLA," he began. Oh, Fuck. She knows. Damn you, Siobhán. You said you wouldn't say anything. He thought. "And, I really didn't have many friends. I had a friend in the Admittance office, she graduated last year, and a guy friend who lived down the hall, he transferred. But other than that, I was alone. Chance," He paused. Jesse thought Rachel could hear his heart beating faster and faster. "Well, Chance was the first real friend I had here. He showed me the ropes, and introduced me to Bruin Harmony, as you know. Now, he's like the little brother I never had." Jesse, made sure he hadn't said anything to tip her off about exactly how they met. When he was satisfied that he hadn't, he opened his eyes and looked at her, a smile on his face. "That's how we met."

Rachel sat beside him on the bed. "So, you didn't almost drop a beer bottle on his head?" she said crossing her arms, almost protectively. Jesse knew he'd been caught.

"I didn't want to tell you cause I knew you would be upset." He defended.

"Jesse! How could you keep something like that from me! Do you still feel like that? Could you have some sort of relapse and end up feeling that way again? What if when I leave you get those thoughts again? That's it, I'm not going back to Lima. You need me here. Someone needs to take care of you." Rachel was up and pacing by the end of her rant.

Jesse stood and grabbed her shoulders, causing her pacing to stop. "Rachel, as much as I would love to have you here with me for the rest of the year, you can't stay here. You have school, and family, and friends back in Lima, and they need you, and you need to graduate. You only have the end of this year left before you graduate. Make the most of it. I'll be fine here. You know why?" he waited for some type of answer. She shook her head and he continued. "Because I have you in my life. That's all that matters to me now. You." Jesse once again had to stop himself from saying he loved her. He didn't want her to feel suffocated with all the information he was pouring down her throat right now and he felt like it wasn't the right moment.

Rachel nodded and a small smile spread on her lips. Jesse leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips, for just a moment. Just barely longer than a peck on the lips, but it made both of their heads swim.

They looked deep into each others eyes, and Jesse thought he might try and deepen another kiss, but Rachel had other plans.

"Tell me about the night Chance found you." she said. Jesse sighed and they sat down on the bed.

"It was the week after I settled in here..." he began. Rachel listened intently as he regaled his feelings, actions, and decisions. By the time he had finished the sun had set, and Rachel held Jesse's head in her lap. She stroked his hair from his face as she wiped away the trails her tears had made.

"Jesse, I want you to tell me the next time you start to feel like that." Rachel said when he had finished.

He gazed up at her. "I won't have to. Because it will never happen again." Rachel nodded, but was still unsure. "I know when you found out the truth about the the first time, you thought I had never cared about you. Do you still believe that?" he asked.

"Of course not. I'm ashamed that I ever thought that." she said hanging her head.

"I understand why you did. I gave you a reason to doubt me. But even thought you may see our relationship from before differently now, I know that I still have to earn your trust back. Just because I care about you doesn't mean I didn't lie, and hurt you. I know that. And I also know that trust is earned and I have a lot of making up to do. So just tell me how and I'll do it."

Rachel looked at him with glossy eyes. "That's something you have to figure out for yourself."

After the emotional roller coaster they had just been on, there was no fooling around before bed tonight. Both were so emotionally drained that they just fell asleep, after eating the Thai food they had ordered-in.

Jesse lay awake a few hours after he had fallen asleep. The weight of Rachel's words weighing on him. He had to earn Rachel's trust, and maybe someday her love. He knew that he had to work quickly if he wanted to show her that he would try his hardest to win back what he had before. Tomorrow was her last day/night there, and Tuesday morning she flew back to Lima, and back to Finn. Jesse knew they had broken up but still...he had more time with her. Jesse wallowed in self pity for a while more before falling back asleep.

Rachel didn't know how he was going to earn her trust back, and she didn't know if she could ever trust him again. She had hoped she could, but only time would tell. She wanted to make a lasting impression with him before flying back, and she thought she knew a way. She just wasn't sure if she could go through with it. She knew Jesse didn't expect anything from her, but she wanted to give him something she had never given anyone.

A/N: Sorry this update is going up so late. The weather here has been atrocious and I've had to spend the day with my grandmother. Tomorrow will be busy too, so I'm sorry if there is no update tomorrow. I will try though.

Song Mentioned this chapter: Misery-Maroon 5

Reviews make Jesse back down from the ledge!