Chapter 16

"Wax Sherlock Holmes?!" Dipper cried. "I melted you in the sun!"

The wax figure stepped forward. "Ah, yes. You did, actually. But Master Gideon let us walk the earth again in exchange for your life. Funny, that. We also were reinforced with sun protection. You won't be melting us any time soon."

Dipper stepped back. This evil man was not even human, and he still gave him nightmares. What a creep.

"The Gobblewonker is on its way, as well as everything else you brats ever defeated." Holmes smiled evilly, his unnatural brown eyes boring into the werecat. "You won't survive this round, Dipper."

"Don't say my name!" Dipper ordered. "You aren't worthy enough!"

The figure tilted his head. "Cocky as always. Well, then," he said, pulling out a sword, his eyes rolling back in his head, "let's get this taken care of."

He lunged at Dipper. The werecat managed to dodge it, and he almost fell over from the momentum. "Whoa! Not cool!"

Jake rushed forward and held his wind chime out to deflect Holmes' strike at Dipper. Holmes flew back, stopped himself, and charged again.

"Oh, no you don't!" Dipper held up his wind chime, but the figure easily landed a blow on his head, causing him to fall back.

"Huh?" Dipper held up his chime, but it didn't have the usual glow it'd had before. "Aw, what?"

Sherlock came forward, raised his sword, and asked, "Any last-"

A beam of fire promptly blasted at the figure, turning it to a puddle.

"Well, that was annoying." Haley stepped forward. "I hope Watson didn't have to survive through that."

The building shook, and Dipper stood back up. As he watched through the door, the Gobblewonker was approaching.

"What do we do?" Pacifica asked nervously.

"Wait." Dipper cupped a hand to his ear. "Do you hear that?"

Mabel sighed. "Dipper, you have advanced hearing, remember? It's probably just-"

"I hear it too," Jake and Haley said at the same time.

Finally, Dipper saw the cause of the sound. It appeared to be six distant objects flying toward them in perfect formation.

Jake squinted his eyes. "No. Way."

Haley's mouth fell open. "How did they find us here?"

Dipper raised an eyebrow. "Who?"

Jake went on as if he hadn't heard him. "And aren't they still mad at us?"

"When aren't they mad at us?," Haley mused. "And by 'us' I mean 'you.'"

"Who are they?!" Dipper cried.

The Longs turned to him simultaneously and yelled, "The Dragon Council!"

Dipper looked closer and saw they were right. It was actually five dragons, and as he watched, they swooped in to the porch and changed to human form. One of them, a tall Korean lady with long black hair, ran over and hugged Haley so hard he thought she'd explode into a giant mushroom cloud of purple fieryness.

"Haley!" the woman cried. "I'm so glad you're ok!"

"Sun?" Haley asked in bewilderment. "What are you doing here?"

"That would be our doing, I believe."

The shortest of the dragons came forward. He was Chinese, and he wore classic purple-and-gold robes.

Jake stepped forward. "G?"

The man smiled. "Hello, young one."

Dipper snapped out of his trance. "Uh, hello? Someone mind explaining to me what is going on here?"

"Ah, yes." The man stepped forward. "I am Luong Lao Shi, Jake's maternal grandfather. You may call me Gramps."

"And we," said another man, African by the looks of it, "are the Dragon Council. We are the leaders, I suppose you could say, of the entire magical realm. I am Councilor Andam, the African Dragon."

The other three- two men and a woman- stepped forward, introducing themselves as Councilors Kulde, the Norwegian Dragon, Omina, the Dragon of Atlantis, and Kukulkhan, the Central American Dragon. The Korean lady introduced herself as Sun Park, the Korean Dragon.

"So," asked Jake, "why are you here?" He earned six angry faces, and he added, "I mean, what a pleasant surprise."

"Once Lao Shi informed us that you had been sent to this place," Andam explained, "we came right away. This place is dangerous."

"So we gathered." Haley pulled away from Sun. "You're not... taking us back, are you?"

"Of course we are!" Kulde said as if it were obvious. "You cannot stay here. It is too magically inclined, and I mean the bad way."

"Oh, and New York isn't?" Jake asked.

"Jake!" Lao Shi snapped.

"No, G." Jake said defiantly. "You can't just take us away from the coolest place ever!" He faced the councilors. "If you're the leaders of the magical realm, then help us stop that." He pointed at the crowd of magic entities currently bent on revenge.

Kulde examined the approaching onslaught. "Very well." He, along with the other seven dragons in the room, dragoned up and flew out to attack.

Dipper watched them for a second, then turned to the other five kids. "Well? What are you waiting for? We never delivered that party!"

And so, with complete and utter insanity, the kids charged.

It was a fight to the death, and Dipper felt great.

He ran straight into the onslaught, dodging here and there to prevent certain death. His retractable claws came in at just the right time, which he used wisely. He sliced about three wax figures in a row, cut a Manotaur in the arm, and reduced the Summerween Trickster to candy bites.

What Soos wouldn't give to be here, he thought, removing a piece of Homework: The Candy from his hair.

To his left, he saw Mabel and Spud fighting Ma, and Mabel seemed slightly disturbed. Huh. He also saw Trixie taking on Wax Queen Elizabeth II, and Pacifica dodging constant swings of an axe.

He was so distracted that he didn't see the tail of the Gobblewonker flying toward him. It smacked him from behind, but Dipper managed to stand up straight.

Someone stood on the end of it. Someone Dipper was really getting tired of seeing.

"Hello, Dipper," said Wax Sherlock Holmes.

He thrust his sword at Dipper's chest... and was utterly surprised when it deflected away.

"What is the meaning of this?" he demanded.

Dipper slowly pulled out Volume 3, which was glowing faintly.

"That's what happened to the wind chime!" Dipper exclaimed.

Sherlock got over his surprise. "Quit talking nonsense, boy." He swung again, but Dipper parried with the book, using it as a sword.

Sherlock bellowed with rage, and started wildly swinging at the boy. Dipper blocked every one, slowly pushing the wax man back to the edge of the tail. Dipper swung once more, put Sherlock dodged and kicked the boy to the mechanical beast's lower back. His head banged against the metal, and he looked up to a swordpoint.

"This is what happens, Dipper!" Sherlock exclaimed madly. "This is what happens when a foolish human brat gets in our way!"

Dipper took this as a challenge. "You're forgetting one thing." He took off his hat, revealing his cat ears. "I'm not all human."

He extended his tail, tripping Sherlock and giving Dipper an escape. But just as he was about to jump off, the Gobblewonker shifted in a way that sent Dipper flying in the air. He landed on the beast's head.

He quickly pried the top of the head off and jumped inside. It was actually quite large in the head, and he could easily move around.

"Why, hello, Dipper."

Gideon and Rotwood were in the head, just as Jake had predicted.

Dipper stomped toward them. "Gideon," he said, gritting his teeth, "I survived ten times the stuff you could ever dream of. You don't scare me!"

He marched straight up to Gideon, ripped off the amulet, and smashed it under his foot.

Suddenly, the Gobblewonker lurched to the side, and Dipper flew into a wall. His head banged against the steel once more, and this time he couldn't take it.

He fainted.

Dipper woke to the sound of celebration.

He sat up and rubbed his head, remembering bits of the fight.

"Oh! He's awake!"

He took in his surroundings. He was in an elaborate dining hall of some sort, with fancy curtains and paintings on the walls.

He looked straight in front of him. Thirteen smiling faces looked back- his sister, his two cousins, his cousins' two friends, his dream girl, his sister's enemy, his cousins' dog, his cousins' grandfather, and four councilors. He realized he was at the head of a table.

He rubbed his head again, and he realized that he no longer had cat ears.

"Whoa!"

Councilor Andam chuckled. "Yes, Dipper. You have saved not only yourself, but your sister, your friends, and your family."

"How?" he asked innocently.

Councilor Kulde spoke up. "Apparently the amulet in the possession of Gideon Gleeful held power over everything you fought today. After you destroyed it, the wax figures were reduced to puddles and the mind-control of everything else was diminished."

"I knew Ma and Pa wouldn't deliberately hurt Mabel!"

He gestured to a floating orb above the table, which contained the silhouette of Dipper as a werecat. "Normally, we would not let a human possess such a power, but you have proven yourself-"

"No."

Thirteen gasps followed this remark.

"I don't want any fancy powers," he explained. "I was born human, and I want to die human... one way or another."

"Well, in that case," said Councilor Kukulkhan, "I propose a toast. A toast-"

"To Dipper Pines."

Dipper looked at the person who had said that. Any day before today, he would have raised an eyebrow and scoffed. But now... he didn't know.

So all he could do was smile back at Pacifica Northwest.

They raised their glasses, said the traditional "Hear, hear," and took a drink.

Dipper suddenly felt light-headed, but before he could say anything, he was out like a light.