She didn't know how much time had passed since the line went dead. 10 mins maybe or even an hour? She wasn't sure. She wasn't sure about anything anymore.
Her heart stopped when she heard the phone buzzing again, slowly moving along the floor with the rhythmic of the vibration.
No.
Kate was paralyzed, short on breath and not able to move.

Please don't let it be him again.

It took her awhile before she noticed the picture flashing up on the caller ID. Blue eyes and a wicked smile stared back at her. Castle.

Beckett hesitated to pick up the phone-after a few seconds the call went to voicemail.

She titled her head back and took in a deep breath staring up at the ceiling.

First she had to gather herself before she was in any state to talk to Castle. He knew something was up, had caught up on the tension and the way she got startled every time her phone rang.

He had asked about it. First just casual asking who had called to not scare her off. Hoping she would open up and talk to him about what was putting her on edge. But she didn't. During the last week he had started a fight over dinner about the topic. Accusing her of being secretive and distant. He was hurt and she knew it but she fought back telling him that he didn't have to know everything and that she had a right to keep certain things private. He had left her with the words that he hoped she would change for the benefit of their relationship. That night she had cried herself to sleep wishing she could share her burden with him.

Even after the fight she had kept the secret, first of all because it was something she had to deal with by herself and second of all because she didn't want to put him in any danger by knowing that she got threatened. He would do everything to keep her safe or trying to help her solving the mystery of who was behind the demands.

Only now she realized that she couldn't keep him safe. That she never had the power to keep him from getting hurt.

Slowly she got back up on her feet. Time was running and she shouldn't waste it with feeling sorry for herself. Life doesn't give you things you can't handle. That's what her mom always said and she was right. It may seem like the end of the world and losing Castle was the end of her world, but it wouldn't kill her it would break her but she would get through it. Somehow. She couldn't imagine herself feeling whole ever again in her life but this wasn't all about her. It was about him. Being able to safe him from getting killed. Keeping Alexis from losing a father, and Martha from losing a son. She was the one losing everything by cutting Castle out of her life. Losing her partner, lover and friend. They swore each other always and she was the one breaking this promise.

Her feet were stiff from sitting on the floor for so long, her apartment was dark but she didn't feel like turning on the light. The Darkness fit her mood and softly wrapped around her.

Beckett took a shower trying to shake the fatigue out of her bones. Afterwards she made herself some coffee. Sitting at the kitchen counter and starring in her coffee she hoped some ideas would pop in her head. Breaking up with someone was one thing but completely cutting them out of your life was another. How was she supposed to do that?

He would come after her. She would do the same thing if he would tell her he wouldn't want anything to do with her anymore. He would call, text, visit. Talking to her friends and talking to her dad. And her friends? They would ask her why.

There was just one way to avoid all of this. One thing which would assure that he's safe. Making sure that everyone's safe.

She had to go. She had to vanish from their lives and not come back.

I'm really sorry it took me so long! I didn't plan on keeping you guys hanging like this. But there were certain things happening in my life over the last couple weeks which kept me from writing. I'll definitely continue this story and I promise I'll update more frequently and with longer chapters. Thanks so much for all the reviews, follows and favs! It means a lot.

P.S: I'm searching for a beta reader who would like to pre-read my chapters and check the spelling and grammar. You would do me a huge favor! If you would like to help me out please send me a PM. :)