Sorry for not updating this. You see, a lot of my stories feature insane characters, whether it's a humor story or horrific story. I simply cannot write sane characters without making them sound boring. But then I remembered that I should be committed to each story I start (except Mushroom Destiny, whose RPG Topics has since been erased and the goddamn Halloween story)! So, here we are! The story will be divided into several arcs. So far, I have three arcs planned, including this one. So, sit back, enjoy, and remember to review!
The Normals - Chapter 2
ARC 1: LUNCHTIME SHOPPING - PART 1
ROB, in his Ancient Minister garb, strolled into his office, playing a music disc that had humming noises on it. Oh how he loved his office. It was the only place in the castle that was safe from the madness that plauged everything else. What a nice day. Other than the 'Kirby hopped up on coffee' incident this morning, nothing bad happened. And of course when nothing bad happens, something bad will happen soon, and 'soon' is approximately right now.
"Sir! Sir!" screamed a Primid, running into the office. "It's terrible!"
"WHAT? SOMEONE REVIVED TABUU?"
"No!"
"ONE OR MORE OF THE SMASHERS HAS FINALLY SNAPPED AND IS CURRENTLY ON A RAMPAGE?"
"No! We're out of food sir!" said the Primid. ROB eased a bit.
"IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A PROBLEM. JUST GET SOME FOOD THAT WE PUT IN STORAGE."
"There is no food in storage either! Kirby found it and..." said Primid. Dread seized ROB's heart. Or... sensors. Yeah, emotion sensors. With no food, there will be nothing for lunch, which would cause all of the Smashers to go nuts. He needs to go shop for more food within two hours before the castle becomes a smoking crater. However, the Primids and ROB were banned from Wal-Mart, which was their main supplier, so the Smashers had to go buy the food. Usually when a Smasher goes shopping, things don't turn out as expected. For example, when it was Peach's turn to go shopping, she only bought vegetables, which caused a riot amongst all of the meat lovers.
ROB looked at the chore schedule to see who's turn it is to go shopping and sighed with relief. It was The Normals turn to go shopping. As weird as they may be, they're the sanest of all of the Smashers and were least likely to screw up.
"GO GATHER THEM." commanded ROB.
"Whose them?"
"THE NORMAL ONES."
"That was an eventful morning." grumbled Lucario. After one short visit to the infirmiry, everyone was healed and perfectly okay.
"Yeah, but look at it this way! Nothing else can go wrong!" said King Dedede. Suddenly, a group of Primids ran in, weilding Beam Swords and Super Scopes, surrounding the small group of Smashers. Falco began smacking Dedede in the face.
"NEVER. SAY. NOTHING. CAN. GO. WRONG!" yelled Falco, delivering one final slap.
"Ouch. Well I'm sorry, but I don't go on TV Tropes!" yelled Dedede. Meta Knight and Lucario surveyed the Primids.
"Why are you pointing weapons at us?" asked Meta Knight.
"The Ancient Minister requests you to undergo an important task! Failure to accept will result in execution and extra pummeling!" yelled one of the Primids.
"...Isn't that a bit harsh?" asked Lucario.
"No. No it isn't. This is the most important of tasks, so our threats would be justified! Your quest shall be... GOING TO WAL-MART AND BUYING NEW FOOD!" All four Smashers gasped. Shopping was the most hardest chore in the entire castle. They would rather go feed the Pokemon.
"Do we have to?" grumbled Dedede. The Primids carrying Super Scopes fired into the air, reminding them that they have no choice in the matter. "Alright alright sheesh."
"Excellent. To aid you in your quest, you shall recieve... THE SMASH BROTHERS CREDIT CARD!" The Primid shoved a gold credit card in the air, allowing everyone to bask in it's glory as the other Primids sang an angelic choir. The Smash Brothers Credit Card had unlimited funds on it. Anyone that had their hands on it would be able to buy everything in the universe if they wished. Falco snatched it greedily and so the Primid added, "Don't get greedy. Buy food and ONLY FOOD." Then the Primids disappearing into puffs of smoke. Like ninjas. Only smarter.
"I could buy a new arwing with this thing..." said Falco. Lucario snatched it from his hands. "Hey! What's the big idea?"
"The card should be in my possession. I am the most responsible of you guys after all." said Lucario. Meta Knight scowled. Then again, who would know if he scowled?
"Actually that would fall into my jurdistriction. I'll be taking that." said Meta Knight, taking the card from Lucario's hands.
"Give that back." Lucario grabbed it.
"Give me the card back."
"No."
"Yes."
"NO!"
"Yes."
"ENOUGH!" screamed Falco. Meta Knight and Lucario stopped fighting over the credit card. "You two are acting like brats! Just leave it with Lucario!" Meta Knight grudgingly gave the credit card back to Lucario. Even an honorable knight like Meta Knight would be entranced by the card's power.
"Alright. Let's just get this over with." said Dedede. The Normals walked to the castle's main hall and was prepared to leave through the grand front door, which was a huge door that was made out of gilded doorknobs. It was a security defense apparantly. If an intruder wanted to break in, they would have to find the real doorknob. ...Yeah, don't blame the Anicent Minister or Master Hand for this. Crazy Hand was the one who designed the door. He calls the door a fine masterpiece. If you think about it, it could really be considered a masterpiece. The doorknobs gleam in the sunlight and... "HEY! STOP TALKING ABOUT DOORS!"
Gaaaaaaasp. You're breaking the fourth wall!
"So are you. Plus you had no problem with it in your other stories." pointed out Lucario.
Shut up you... dog... thing. Oh hey look it's Pikachu.
"What's up morons? Where are you going?" asked Pikachu.
"We're going to go shopping." said Lucario, pulling out the Smash Brothers Credit Card. It was a big mistake.
"HEY GUYS! FALCO, META KNIGHT, LUCARIO, AND DEDEDE'S GOING SHOPPING!" screamed Pikachu. Suddenly, the ceiling collapsed as every Smasher broke through it. Before the heroes knew it, they were surrounded. Some people requested them to buy a certain food for them, some trying to grab the credit card from Lucario's hands, while some just stared at the card as if it was the most beautiful thing in the world.
"I WANT CANDY!"
"SCREW THE FOOD JUST GIVE ME THE CARD!"
"WHY NOT BOTH?"
"WE NEED BANANAS!"
"MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND; JUST LIKE YOUR HEAD IF YOU DON'T GIVE IT TO ME!"
"IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!"
"MY EYES! IT'S BURNING MY EYES!"
"God damn it." was all Dedede could think to say. He brandished his giant mallet, threatening the horde. "Back! Get back!"
"No! You infidels are not getting this card!" yelled Lucario. Forming aura in his hands, he began punching any Smasher that dare came near him. The other guys began to fight back as well, but unfortunately, this was all too much for them. Suddenly, Falco hatched (Get it? Because he's a bird and aw forget it...) a brilliant plan. He stealthily crouched down and crawled away from the fighting.
"Falco! Where are you going?" yelled Meta Knight.
"I have an idea!" yelled Falco, running off. With one less fighter, it seems that all hope would be lost. Our heroes will never go to Wal-Mart, Smash Castle would plunge into chaos, and of course everyone would have to go without lunch and maybe dinner, which would be even worse. All seemed bleak... until Falco rolled in inside the Landmaster, running down all of the Smashers except for the rest of the crew. "Quick! Get in!"
"Good thinking Fox." commended Meta Knight.
"...I'm not Fox."
"Oh sorry. Force of habit." said Meta Knight. As they entered the Landmaster, the rabid Smashers regained their senses. With mighty roars and death threats, they jump onto the Landmaster and began to beat it to death. I'm not sure how you beat a tank to death, but that's what they were doing. THe Landmaster preformed a barrel roll, sending Smashers flying and crushing anyone unfortunate enough to be standing right next to the Landmaster. Falco then said, "Screw the door," and drove through it, leaving a tank shaped hole and injured Smashers in it's wake.
Meanwhile the Ancient Minister watched the pandemonium from his office, which offered a great view of the castle's courtyard. He shook his head. He hoped that what just took place in the courtyard will not happen in Wal-Mart.
"WAIT! COME BACK! BUY ME TEA!" screeched Peach after the Landmaster, even though she knew they were long gone. Everyone else was grumbling, stomping their feet, licking their wounds, or declared vendetta.
"Someone has to go after them." growled Bowser. Everyone suddenly shot a glance at Sonic. The hedgehog glared back at all of them.
"Oh, so what? Just because I'm fast, I have to chase them? You know what, screw you guys, I'm going back to my room." said Sonic, turning away from the others and running back to the dorms. With the obvious solution gone, everyone else started arguing on who should chase after the Normals.
"I could get them." volunteered Zelda. Suddenly, she morphed into Sheik. "No! I'll get it!"
"I-I could get it. I need sunflower seed bread." Lucas suddenly frowned, devolving into a creepy tone. "If I don't get sunflower bread, I will unleash PK Star-Shitstorm on all of you."
"Calm down." said Ness, patting Lucas on the head like a dog. "We could ask Charizard to fly over there."
"What! No! I'm fricking tired! Sonic's right! Screw you guys!" yelled Charizard, flying away. Everyone was silent.
"How about we draw straws?" offered Pit nervously.
Everyone was breathing heavily inside of the Landmaster... and no, not like that, you sick monkeys. They were relieved that they managed to escape from the scrap.
"That was completely terrifying. It was like zombies were surrounding and chasing us." said Falco, who was authentically traumatized by the event.
"We're not in the clear yet." pointed out Meta Knight.
"Yeah, we still have to do the actual shopping." said Lucario. Everyone in the Landmaster was silent.
"...Shiiiiiiit." groaned King Dedede.
To be continued...
Sorry if this was a short chapter, but I noticed that I already had half the chapter done, so I decided to just get it out of the way as quick as possible.