Fourth of July in two days and then my birthday not too long after that... July is awesome!
NEWS FLASH - PART 3
Meta Knight lead Lucario outside into the courtyard where the origin of the recent rumors were coming from. "...so basically, we'll investigate the rumor first and put it to our advantage when Falco comes." They went over to a spot that looks like it was dug in just a few days ago. Lucario looks through the dirt with his aura sight and nods.
"There is definitely something down there." confirmed Lucario, taking out a shovel.
"Zombies?" said Falco in disbelief. He and Dedede went to Mr. Game and Watch's office to get some tips on a story to folow, and the 2-D man just told them a rumor about zombies.
"YEAH. ALL OF THE OTHER SMASHERS HAVE HEARD MOANING SOUNDS INSIDE OF THE COURTYARD. IT'S BEEN HAPPENING AROUND THE SAME TIME SONIC AND DIDDY DISAPPEARED, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S A COINCIDENCE!" explained Mr. Game and Watch.
"...That doesn't necessarily mean it's zombies. It could be something else, like-" began King Dedede.
Keep it PG-13.
The penguin shrugged. "Then I got nothing."
"WELL, THEN GO INVESTIGATE! IF THE ZOMBIES ATTACK, USE YOUR REPORTER SHOVELS." said Mr. Game and Watch. He then ducked under his desk, while clutching his own shovel. "IF YOU EXCUSE ME, I'LL BE HIDING UNTIL THE THREAT IS GONE. K BYE."
Falco and Dedede excused themselves from his office, while taking out their own shovels (which they were already carrying for some reason). Falco looked down at his, slightly amused. "Huh. Looks like these will be useful after all."
"Question. Do I have to help dig and fight?" asked Dedede.
"Yes... unless you want these photos of you eating vegetables to leak out!" threatened Falco, taking out several polaroids showing Dedede eating carrots and broccoli and the like.
"How did you get those?" gasped Dedede.
"You shouldn't leave your door open and... okay, what the hell do you find wrong with letting people know you eat vegetables?" asked Falco, appropriately confused as to why those polaroids are scandalous.
"I've built up a reputation of being a fat meat eater over the years, and I won't let it be ruined by carrots. Fine, I'll help." said Dedede. Falco hid the shocking evidence back into his coat while the penguin muttered, "Those carrots tasted lame anyway." As the two started to head for the courtyard, Meta Knight and Lucario jumped out from behind a random, out of place pillar, having eavesdropped on the entire conversation.
"Huh. King Dedede eats healthy sometimes. Who would have thought?" wondered Lucario.
"Not the point here." said Meta Knight. His eyes darted over to a clock. "It's almost lunchtime... time to start the next phase of Operation 'Reveal Falco for His Crimes'."
"That is a terrible codename."
The small knight sighed. "I know."
As Falco and Dedede walked outside, clouds started to darken the sky, covering the sun. They could even hear a thunderstrike far in the distance. This was totally not ominous in the slightest. They walked around, looking for a good place to dig when they started to hear the moaning noises. Falco walked to where the moaning was coming from as thunder appeared in the sky above him. Rain started to fall as Falco started wielding his shovel dramatically. "Dedede, get over here and help me dig."
"...but it's rainin-"
"Dig or vegetables!" shouted Falco, holding out the photos. Dedede was quick to get helping. The two dug through the dirt as rain and wind swirled around them. After five minutes of digging, they got out of the impressive hole they had already dug out and sat at it's edge. "Right... it's lunch, so let's take a break to eat, alright?"
"Yeah!" cheered Dedede, raising his arms. "Now you're speaking my language!"
"Brains..."
Dedede put his arms down and glanced down into the hole. "I really hope you said that."
Falco froze in fear before looking down the hole too. "Sorry to disappoint you."
Hands were rising out of the dirt and they made a grab for Dedede's robe, pulling him in. Dedede began screaming as Falco heard horrible chewing noises.
"Oh god! They're eating me!" Dedede tried to climb out, but he got dragged down further. "If I get out of this alive... get me a plate of ribs for lunch for me..." He went quiet. Suddenly, a hand shot out and it pulled it's owner out of the hole; it was a zombified Sonic. Almost immediately, a zombie Diddy Kong jumped out of the hole and joined him.
"...GET AWAY FROM ME!" screamed Falco in horror. He raised his shovel and tried to slam it down onto Diddy's head, but sadly, the monkey caught it, took it from his hands, and threw it into the pit.
"Ouch... I mean brains..." That's when Dedede crawled out of the dirt, now zombie looking. Falco picked up Dedede's shovel and tried to attack Sonic this time, but the hedgehog managed to block and disarm him as well.
"...Fat lot those shovels did for us!" yelled Falco, starting to run toward the castle. As he entered, he wondered why Mr. Game and Watch didn't give him something more useful, like a gun, but his thoughts pulled away from questioning others and toward survival. He considered hiding inside a closet, but then he remembered; it's lunchtime. All of the Smashers would be gathered in the cafeteria! Maybe they can help! He ran to the huge cafeteria doors and tried to pull them open, but unfortunately, it was locked. He glanced down the hall and saw that the zombies were on his heels. Then, a voice spoke from the other side.
"Sorry Falco, I'm not letting you in." said Meta Knight.
"Oh god, Meta Knight! Y-You don't understand, you have to let me in." said Falco in a frenzied tone.
"Why should I? You don't deserve to reap the rewards and praise from the others because of your lies."
"What! You aren't letting me in because of the newspaper? Are you freakin' kidding me!"
"No. But it's not as if you're in any danger."
"I am! Zombies are chasing me and they infected King Dedede!" screeched Falco. Meta Knight was momentarily silent.
"...Come on, from reading your articles, I know that you can make up better lies then that."
"JUST LET ME IN!" screamed Falco.
"On one condition."
"FINE, ANYTHING!"
"Admit that you're a liar."
"...OKAY FINE I'VE BEEN PUTTING LIES INSIDE OF THE NEWSPAPER! JUST OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR!" screamed Falco. Then, the doors actually swung open, revealing Meta Knight... along with all the other Smashers, who were giving him looks of shock and anger.
"You just got busted." said Lucario.
"B-Bu... but..." muttered Falco, on the verge of a mental breakdown. He felt a hand slap his back and he jumped. He turned and saw that Dedede was no longer making zombies noises, but he was laughing.
"We totally pranked you!" laughed Dedede.
"Wh-What."
"It was all a trick to get you to admit that you've been lying to all these people." said Meta Knight.
"But... Sonic... and Diddy..." said Falco, pointing at the presumed zombies.
"Oh, we were already trapped in that hole because of..." Diddy looked at Ness, who was threatening him with his basebal bat. "...reasons. We kept screeching to get someone's attention!"
"Then your buddies rescued us and convinced us to play along with their plan. I was a great zombie, if I don't say so myself." said Sonic.
"FALCO." said a voice. Falco saw Mr. Game and Watch digging his way through the crowd of Smashers. "CONSIDER YOURSELF FIRED. I WANT YOUR HAT ON MY DESK IN THE LUNCHROOM, RIGHT NOW!" Falco groaned and looked up at everyone else.
"You guys are going to beat me up, aren't you?" sighed Falco. Many Smashers, including Captain Falcon and Marth, nodded. Falco opened his mouth to say something when he immediately bolted. The angry Smashers formed a mob and started to run after him. Mr. Game and Watch went over to Sonic and Diddy before turning back to the other Normals.
"BY THE WAY, SINCE I HAVE MY MAIN REPORTERS BACK NOW, YOU GUYS ARE FIRED TOO. NO HARD FEELINGS."
"None taken." said Lucario.
"Whatever." said King Dedede, leaving to eat.
"Oh well. Justice was served." said Meta Knight. The three Normals went to get their lunch (DAMN IT I PROMISED MYSELF TO NOT INVOLVE FOOD) and settled themselves down at their table. Shortly later, Falco joined at the table, sporting many bruises and cuts. At first he was glaring at Meta Knight but then it turned into a smile.
"Heh. I have to admit, that was pretty good. Guess I deserved it." laughed Falco as the group dynamic repaired itself. And so they became friends once more.
Then for some reason photos of Dedede eating vegetables showed up in the next issue of the Smash Gazette, forcing Dedede to hide in his room. With revenge on 'not telling him about the plan' satisfied, Falco went back to being a member of The Normals and everyone was okay... except for Dedede, but he still sort of deserved it for the black market thing.
END OF ARC 4
Whoop I am done! So, I won't be writing anything until after the 9th, which is when the next poll ends and, well, birthday. I know what a sad story. But I want to blow my time on stupid stuff for once. So anyway, have a nice fourth of July! And for non-Americans, have a nice day anyway!