A/N: Here's an extra-long chapter! Also, please review if you like this story! It's the best form of encouragement to keep writing J
Knots, knots, and more knots. By the time I lay down to go to sleep, my hands are red and sore. I am much calmer now, though. My seashell is cupped in my hand for hours as my thoughts bounce between apologizing to Kai and proving myself at training tomorrow. I resort to counting backward from one thousand to silence my mind and fall asleep.
It must work because, the next thing I know, it's morning. The tension in the room at breakfast is palpable. Isidora seems to be the only one unaware of it because she is excitedly speaking about a new line of lipstick in the Capitol. I look across the table at Kai and wait for him to meet my gaze. When he finally does, he tries to quickly turn away, but I am already exploding with apologies.
"I'm sorry, Kai! I handled that completely wrong and I didn't mean to make you mad. I still think you should reconsider the going to the Cornucopia, but I promise I will discuss it calmly without starting an argument."
I have to wince as an image from last night's nightmare surfaces to my mind. All I can see is Kai getting slaughtered within seconds of the Games' start. I force myself to block it out and instead look towards him to see if he accepts my apology for hurting his pride.
"Okay," he says grudgingly. "I guess I can forgive you, but I'm still going to the Cornucopia. I need weapons to win, and I'm not going to run away because I'm too scared."
I sigh because part of me had hoped the argument would have knocked some sense into him. At least he forgives me.
"He does have a point," Kallan says as he stuffs some bacon into his mouth.
Alec gives him a glare and says, "Why don't we discuss this tonight? I think now we should talk about Training." Those green eyes have dark circles under them. I wonder if he got even less sleep than me.
Kai immediately exclaims that he wants to practice with spears and tridents. The mentors nod, then Alec turns back to me.
"What do you plan on doing?" he asks me, raising an eyebrow.
I shrug. "Maybe some nets and traps. Oh, and I can make some fishhooks. I'm pretty good at working with my hands," I say before looking down at my palms. My hands may look dainty, but they're hard and calloused from years of helping my father tie knots for nets. Nothing like the soft, smooth hands of most girls at my school.
"That's a good start, but what about weapons?" he asks.
I can see concern form in his features when I hesitate to answer. "I…I don't really think…I can kill anybody," I finally get out. It's a shame that I'm ashamed of not wanting to murder children, but I can't help but notice how pathetic it makes me sound. Ever since my father told me to not forget what I stand for, I have been wondering if this is what he meant. Will he be disappointed if I'm forced to kill an innocent? Or does me fighting to return home override that?
I see Isidora and Kallan exchange a glance and both of them subtlety shake their heads. It makes me a little mad, but more something else I can't place. Betrayed? I thought they at least had a little hope in me.
"Let's say another tribute runs at you with a knife. You have a knife, too. Do you defend yourself or let them kill you, knowing your family has to watch?" Alec asks carefully.
"I can defend myself," I answer honestly. "I'm just not going to go out of my way to eliminate other players."
There's no mistaking how relieved he looks. "Good, then you need to be able to use a weapon, just in case. Focus on survival skills at Training, but make sure you have a way to defend yourself."
"I'm pretty decent at using knives," I say, and judging by everyone's relief, this seems to be the right answer.
Thirty minutes later, Isidora is taking Kai and I down an elevator that leads to the Training Room. The only other Districts here so far are Two, Five, and Eleven. We are expected to wait until the others arrive to begin working at stations.
I look around the room in wonder. There's pretty much every weapon I can think of: axes, bows, knives, swords, spears, and tridents. Every weapon except the guns only Peacekeepers are allowed to carry. I even see slingshots in a corner station.
Then, of course, there are equally as many stations for survival. Those are the ones I plan on working with for the greater part of the day. I exchange a few words with Kai, but its clear he would rather go straight to weapons. Maybe it will be better that way. If we are going to be a team, it could work to our advantage to have one person skilled with weapons and the other an expert on survival.
The first station I visit is knots. I breeze through it with no effort, and the instructor seems really impressed. I can feel the eyes of other tributes on my back, probably trying to evaluate if I am a threat.
Fishing, hammock making, and shelters are just as easy. I can even make a few basic snares. Technically, I have never trained for the Hunger Games, but my experience in Four definitely works to my advantage. I begin to feel more confident, like I am not as helpless as I thought I was.
I am smaller than a majority of the tributes, but I am healthy. My ribs don't show like some of the kids from poor districts. I have no experience, but I am skilled. And maybe, just maybe, I can be a victor.
That one thought triggers the clash of reality. Me winning means Kai must die. Could I outlast him, even when he is clearly more athletic? Do I even want to? Thinking about it makes me feel like my heart is being jabbed, so I move onto edible plants and insects.
I am not as much as an expert here as I was in the other stations, but I put forth serious effort to learn. By finding things in common with the things that are edible, I can learn what to avoid.
I've just moved to fire-making and have thus far been unsuccessful when Kai approaches me. I look up and smile until I realize he has three other tributes with him. It's the boy from One and both tributes from Two.
The boy from One introduces me to all of them. "I'm Osten, and this is Blade and Kim," he says, motioning towards the others. "We met your friend and he said the two of you were interested in joining our alliance."
That is something I definitely never said, but I can't tell them that. They would hunt me down for sure. "Oh, yeah, you're Districts usually dominate the Games. It's something we'll definitely have to consider," I say, trying my best to sound friendly but noncommittal.
The tall girl from Two, Kim, speaks up. "Four's already won twice, too. Most districts don't even have a victor yet. Kai's pretty strong and he said you were good with knots."
"Well, I've been practicing my whole life."
The three of them smile. "Good," Osten says. "We've all been training, too."
Training? Wait, no, they've misunderstood. I don't correct them, though.
It's time for lunch, so I am stuck sitting with them. We sit in a group of five at a table and talk about our strengths and training. Osten and Kim are both bigger than me. They have to be seventeen or eighteen. Blade, the boy from Two, is younger, maybe fourteen, but he is just as strong and confident as the other two. Kai fits in well with this group. After all, they are all volunteers.
I quickly pick up on a few things. First, they seem to be genuinely excited about the Games. Blade and Kim go to a training school that opened almost two years ago. It's called The Career School of Combat Training, so they refer to themselves as careers. It's a term I've never heard of before. They are building a similar school in One, but Osten has never been to it. Still, he says that training all his life permits him to call himself a career as well.
I also notice that they hold some kind of grudge against the girl from One. They make cruel jokes about her several times in the conversation and eventually point her out to me. She is sitting awkwardly with the group from Five, as far away from us as possible. It's hard to piece together exactly what happened, but I'm fairly sure it has to do with her not wanting to be part of the alliance. If I remember correctly, she did not volunteer.
After lunch, the five of us head over to weapons. They go straight for the spears and swords and tridents, but I settle for a knife. As a result of years of gutting fish, I'm not bad at it. It's a little harder to throw it distances with accuracy, but, by the end of the day, I've made good progress. The "careers" are not bad company, but I only trust them as far as I can throw them. And, considering they all weigh over fifty pounds more than me, that's not much at all.
Kai brings this up on the walk back to the elevator. "You don't seem very happy about our alliance," he whispers.
I keep my face straight and whisper back, "Was it that obvious?"
"No," he says. "But I know you, and I can tell when you're really excited. You weren't today."
"Kai, we shouldn't trust them. Four has never allied with One and Two before. We'll be the first ones to get our throats slit while we sleep."
"Come on, Mags! We can leave them before that happens, I promise! It's our best chance to get further in the game." His whispers are becoming a bit too loud for comfort.
"Okay, I'll think about it," I say to mollify him.
"Sounds good. When have I ever been wrong?"
We laugh then, because both of us know the answer to that.
Back on the fourth floor, Isidora invites us to come watch some Capitol programming with her while we wait for the mentors to return. I pull a blanket over me, making sure to keep my feet on the floor so Isidora won't reprimand me. The program involves interviewing people around the Capitol to gauge the excitement for this year's Hunger Games. I'm a little surprised when I see Alec on the screen.
But it's not him. It's his body and his voice, but not his personality. It's the Alec I'm used to seeing on television at home; the one I've never cared for. He is still attractive, but there's a level of cockiness and arrogance in his voice. Everything he says is in praise of the Capitol or the lovely citizens who live there. He even pulls over some ladies on the street and kisses them. I've only known Alec for a few days, but I know that's not who he is. The Alec I know is thoughtful and a little sarcastic. I know- or at least I think- he really cares about what happens to me and Kai in the arena. For whatever reason, it bothers me that he's acting like someone else. The real him is good enough.
About an hour later, I am laying alone in my room, thinking of home. What would my family be doing right now? I guess Marilla and Hallie are on there way home from school. My father and my uncle are probably working. It's harder to guess about my mother and my aunt. They might be spending a lot of time together and consoling each other. Or they might keep their distance because they both want their child to be the victor, and that would make it very awkward.
I barely notice when there's a little knock on the door and Alec sticks his head in.
"Kallan and I decided its better to talk to you individually for now. We can coordinate strategies later. Can I come in?" he asks softly.
"Of course," I say in response. I pull myself into a sitting position and pat the spot next to me on the fluffy white comforter. He walks over, but instead of climbing on the bed, he sits on the edge, half turned away from me. Then he pulls a little bag out his pocket and hands it to me.
Sugar cubes. It's kind of ridiculous how excited I am about this. I thank him as I plop three into my mouth. He laughs a little in response.
"I knew you would like those," he says. He shuffles a bit and turns more toward me. "Just so we're on the same page, tell me what you're plan is for the Games."
Even the sweet taste of sugar can't help the way my mouth tightens and dries up in response.
"Well, I would have Kai as an ally, preferably till the final four. Then it would be best to say goodbye and separate." I have to pause and take a deep breath before I continue.
"As soon as the gong sounds, I plan for us to run as far away as possible, or at least until we find a source of water to camp by. We'll camouflage ourselves and set up camp and traps, maybe carve some knives out of wood. Then I guess we'll just hide out for as long as possible and see what happens from there. It's impossible to predict what the Gamemakers have in store."
Alec nods in agreement. "It must be hard for you and Kai to agree on that. You two have completely different personalities and ideas."
"Don't I know it," I say. "He's trying to make us ally with the Careers."
"Careers?" he asks, sounding genuinely confused. I forgot he wasn't familiar with the term.
"It's the name of the training school in Two. Now they're using it to describe anyone who has trained for the Games." I look towards him and ask, "You don't think it's a good idea for us to join them, do you?"
He looks off to the other side of the room in thought. "It has its pros and cons," he says finally. "It will provide you with much more security at the Games' start, but then you run the risk of being killed in your sleep as the numbers dwindle. If you do ally with them, clear out the second you start distrusting them."
That could be hard to tell, considering I hardly trust them at all. "How will I know?"
"Just trust your instincts," he says. We are both quiet for a few minutes as I let that sink in.
I can tell Alec is reluctant to say the next thing that comes out of his mouth. "If what Kai wants conflicts with your instincts, it would be best for you to leave him rather than endanger yourself."
"What!" I ask in disbelief. "I can't just abandon Kai! He's my cousin! What would my family think?" I swallow hard and answer my own question. "They'd hate me and I'd hate myself. I can't do it."
Alec looks to be at a loss for words. I'm shocked that he would think I could abandon my family so easily, but I'm not exactly mad, even though I feel like I should be.
"I knew that wouldn't work, but it was worth a shot." he muses. "I really am sorry though. I've never had siblings or cousins, so I don't know what it's like to be in that position. All I know is that my survival was the top priority when I was in the arena, and I can't imagine anything strong enough to change that."
The tension in the room is thick and we are both looking away from each other in silence. I think Alec is about to get up and leave when he suddenly changes the subject. "Last night you said something about finding weapons some other way than the Cornucopia. What did you mean by that?"
That stumps me for a second because I really didn't have anything in mind when I said that. I think about it for a minute and come up with an alternative way to get weapons that has so many flaws, its kind of embarrassing to say.
"When two armed tributes fight, there's usually some time between one being disarmed and a canon being fired. The one who wins the fight is too preoccupied with finishing off the victim to pay any attention to the weapon for a minute. If I could grab it without being noticed and escape, I would have a weapon." I'm embarrassed its really bad, so I add, "It's a little risky."
"Maybe a little too risky," he says, "but very clever. You might just be able to outsmart the rest of them, Magnolia."
"My full name!" I say in mock astonishment. "Why, I thought you said 'good' when I said you didn't have to use it!" I joke.
"If I remember correctly, that's not why I was saying 'good'," he says, and then he's smiling with his teeth and they look so white and perfect against his tan skin.
The perfection of it throws me off, but I finally recover enough to answer him. "Well it appears one of us has a bad memory," I say, trying my best to sound serious, but the edges of my mouth curl up within seconds.
Alec laughs at that. "I hope you can pull of a more serious face if you have to lie to other tributes!"
"I can," I say eagerly. "It seems like it's just with you I feel like smiling." I freeze immediately after saying that, mentally berating myself for not thinking before I speak. I'm scared to look at him to see his reaction.
He just looks intrigued. I clear my throat nervously and say, "Alec, can I ask you a question?"
"Isn't that what I'm here for?"
"When I see you on T.V., you're like a different person. I just want to know why."
He definitely looks taken aback. I'm starting to regret asking when he says, "Oh, you noticed that?…If you want to know the truth…" he trails off and looks around the room suspiciously. Then he does something strange.
He crawls under the covers and motions for me to join him.
I feel like a small child in a blanket fort like the ones I used to build with my cousins. Under here, I'm very close to Alec's face, and his green eyes are only inches from my blue ones. I can feel his warm breath on my skin, and that has my heart beating like crazy.
"You be whoever the Capitol wants you to be," he finally confesses.
"But you're a victor. They've done enough to you; they can't tell you who to be." A new thought occurs to me. "Are they watching us now?" I whisper.
"Possibly. Probably. That's why we're under here," he says quietly. "Oh, and unfortunately that's just the way it works," he says, answering my previous statement.
"I like the real you better. They would be lucky to know you," I say, and I hope he knows how much I mean it.
He's shocked again. "Really?" he asks.
Just then, a door opens and we both freeze, certain that some Capitol official has overheard our conversation and is here to get us. But then we hear Isidora's voice and we poke just our heads out of the covers.
"Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry!" she says, pink hair swinging as she stumbles back into the dresser before turning around and running out.
As soon as we realize what this must have looked like to her, we laugh and laugh and laugh until we are bent over and our sides hurt.
We must be quite a scene.