Aaaand we're back! Before we start the story, have any of you read the Pendragon series? It's just as good as the Harry Potter books (in my opinion anyway), but it doesn't get that much exposure. Seriously, you should go read it. You won't regret it.
ARC 7: DIPLOMACY, HO! - PART 1
Lucario looked at the note telling him to go to the castle's conference room and gulped. He pushed the doors open and entered to see what all the hubbub was about. A long conference table was stretched out through the middle of the room. On one side was the Ancient Minister, Pikachu, Jigglypuff, and Red, and on the other was Dialga, Palkia, and Cresselia. Yep, he had no idea on whats going on.
"...Uh..." was all Lucario could say.
"Welcome! Come in and have a seat! Have some tea while you're at it!" offered the smallest legendary Pokémon. Lucario took a seat right next to Red, sipping a cup of tea.
"What's going on here?" Lucario whispered to Red.
"We're trying to renew our contract to fight on Spear Pillar." explained Red.
"Renew? Contract?"
"Yeah. Spear Pillar is serious sacred ground shit. We need to get permission for this crap." said Pikachu.
"The Minister wanted us Pokémon here for... um, some reason?" said Jigglypuff, who was just as confused as Lucario. While the Smashers talked, the Ancient Minister was discussing things with the legendary Pokemon.
"...SO, AS YOU CAN SEE, PEOPLE LOVE TO WATCH FIGHTS AT SPEAR PILLAR. IF YOU ALLOW US TO FIGHT THERE AGAIN FOR THE NEXT TOURNAMENT, WE PROMISE TO GIVE 25% VIDEO REVENUE FOR THE SPEAR PILLAR FIGHTS." explained the Ancient Minister.
"Wait a minute, you make money off our fights and you don't pay us a single penny?" said Lucario. His other Pokemon universe comrades were also unamused.
"Isn't this soliciting money?" said Jigglypuff.
"SHUSH." said the Minister, ignoring them. "NOW, WILL YOU ACCEPT OUR OFFER?"
"No thanks." said Dialga.
"I'M GLAD YO- WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO."
"Actually, we have a different condition in mind, and you will listen to us." said Palkia aggressively.
"Listen to them or they will destroy us." growled Pikachu to the Minister.
"...ER... WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?"
"We would like to be summmonable Pokemon in the next tournament." said Dialga, straight to the point.
"WHAT."
"Yeah! Groudon is always going on about how cool it is to be in the fights! We'd gladly let you fight on Spear Pillar if you let us take part in your brawls!" exclaimed Cresselia.
This request was immediately met with disdain. The legendary Pokémon that were already allowed to take part in the Brawls were already deadly and annoying. Adding in a Time Pokemon, a Space Pokemon, and a Pokémon that throws sharp psychic cuts of death would probably make things worse. The Ancient Minister looked at the Smashers to see their reactions (which was one of the two reasons why he brought them there) to this. Upon seeing that they were uninterested/terrified of space-time paradoxes happening in other worlds, he shook his head. "SORRY, BUT I WOULD HAVE TO DECLINE."
Cresselia folded her arms and pouted. "Then forget about fighting on Spear Pillar."
"Hey, that's sort of unfair! You guys already get to beat the stuffing out of us in Spear Pillar!" pointed out Red.
"Says the person who stands in the background and does no fighting whatsoever." said Pikachu.
"Quiet you."
"Look, it's fun and all, but we want to go see other places! I want to bend the fabrics of multiple universes to my knees!" growled Palkia.
"Palkia, what have I said about trying to mess with the realities of different universes?" said Dialga.
"...It's rude..."
"Good."
"We don't hate you guys. It's just that you two might fight, cause a rip in the fabric of space-time, and accidentally summon Giratina to make things worse." said Lucario. Everyone else nodded, as he practically paraphrased what was on their minds.
"Cresselia can come though. She won't destroy reality... um, right?" said Jigglypuff.
"Yeah, I can't do that." said Cresselia. But she continued pouting. "But I refuse to fight without my friends."
"Besides, Dialga and I haven't been fighting recently. Everything will be fine." said Palkia.
"Palkia, we fought just yesterday over who was a better superhero. We accidentally set a forest ablaze in the process." said Dialga.
"SHUT UP! BATMAN IS WAY BETTER THAN SUPERMAN! PLUS, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, OR THEY WON'T LET US FIGHT!"
"I wouldn't need to say anything if you weren't such a liar. Let's just try to deal with them peacefully and truthfully." growled Dialga.
"WHY DO YOU HAVE TO ACT SO SUPERIOR! YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!" screeched Palkia. The tension between the two of them was enough to cause one of the lightbulbs in the room to explode. Cresselia sipped some tea, not caring about the falling heated glass.
"See what we mean?" said Lucario, pointing at the remains of the lightbulb.
"It was an accident. That Dialga caused." said Palkia.
"Me? You starte-"
"Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends?" sang Jigglypuff, trying to defuse the situation. It didn't make them go to sleep, but it certainly calmed down Palkia and Dialga.
"...Right then, unless you accept our deal, we will not allow you to fight at Spear Pillar for your next tournament." said Dialga.
"The offer's still on the table, if you change your mind." added Cresselia. The legendary Pokemon were getting up to leave, which the Minister did not like one bit.
"OKAY, PLAN B. SMASHERS, DEFEAT THEM!" shouted the Ancient Minister.
"What." said everyone else in the room.
"ONE OF THE TWO REASONS WHY I INVITED YOU HERE WAS TO USE YOU AS MUSCLE. ACCORDING TO THE POKEMON UNIVERSE LAWS, ANY POKEMON THAT GETS CAPTURED IN A POKEBALL MUST BECOME LOYAL TO THEIR CAPTOR."
"Fools! That's not how it wor-" Palkia yelled until Cresselia whispered in his ear. "...Oh wait, that's how things really work? Huh."
"ALRIGHT, JIGGLYPUFF, YOU'RE ON THE SUPPORT TEAM. LUCARIO AND PIKACHU, YOU'RE THE MAIN ATTACKERS. RED, USE YOUR POKEMON TOO THEN CAPTURE THEM. SINCE THEY MUST BECOME LOYAL TO US, THEY HAVE TO HAND SPEAR PILLAR OVER TO US." said the Ancient Minister.
"...I don't think my Pokemon can take on one legendary. Let alone three." said Red.
"Have you seriously lost your mind?" said Pikachu.
"...Minister, you do realize you're threatening legendary Pokemon, right?" Lucario paused. "And since when did you resort to violence?"
"THAT'S HOW BADLY WE NEED SPEAR PILLAR. I'LL DEAL WITH LEGAL REPERCUSSIONS LATER."
Palkia looked to the others. "Want to help me smash these fools?"
"Well, if they insist on fighting us." said Dialga.
"I have nothing better to do." shrugged Cresselia.
"Alright guys, we can take them!" said Jigglypuff, trying to raise morale. She took out a microphone to start signing. "One, two, three..."
All of the Smashers have evacuated Smash Castle, standing outside to watch a black hole slowly suck up bits and bits of the place. Lucario was with the other Normals, sporting many cuts and bruises. He was bringing them up to speed on why their castle is being sucked up into a dark, empty void.
"...and that's why the legendaries got pissed off enough to put a black hole in our castle." explained Lucario.
"...Wait, the Minister is making money off of our fights?" said an angry Dedede.
To be continued...
That's one chapter down! Since I don't really have anything else to say, I'll just announce this week's poll: what do you think of Spear Pillar? Is it worth rising up against legendary Pokemon? Is it? Well, you can tell me that through your votes. Now if you excuse me, Persona 4 keeps singing it's siren song to me.