Cahpa 9 (Right, so she's remembered what chapter she's up to.)

I DONT CARE WOT U SAY. IM A GOD PERSON AN WRITER (We know you think you're God.) 1111111111(What's with the ones?) FUK U ALL! IM AM SOOOOOOOOOOO PISSED OF AT U FUKK N UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (now now let's play nicely.) STOP FLAMIN MA STORY!11111 I DONTT FLAME URS (Liar.) LEAVE MINE ALONE IF U CANT SAY SOMETHING NICE DONT SAY IT AT ALLLLL! (Maybe you should listen to your own advice.)

I witre FAST i bet U FUKKEZRS Cant SCREW U ! I WOTE DIS IN LIKE 20 MINS BET U CANT! (Honey it takes some skill to write like this.)

fINE U MITE NOT HAVe RAPE ME3 zAK BUT U WERE THINKIN ABOT IT I BET! (Yeah… I'm sure it was right up there in his to do list.) Im NUt a LIAR KKKKKKKKKK! (Says the liar.) MY MUM IS MAD AT ME COZ O U BATSARD! (Okay, I think if he raped you then your mother would NOT be mad at you.)

NEway thankx to ma fans for da god reviews (Your imaginary god friends.)

The hall was dun up reall pretty and nice for da wedding. (Wow.) I had planned it all my lif and it was perfect. iT WAS IN DA GARDEN LIKE (Do you have Turrets?) da one in town wit white a nd red streamers and flowers like roses and daffodils everwhere. Saffire did da hair so it was all up and red and gold streamers in it. (Tasteful, kinda like a Christmas tree.) I put on the weddin dress with was white with lace all over it and a plunging neckline and a slipt (Invented word alert! Slipt, a slit that may slip.) up my thigh which wzas long and tan from hours of training. (? What training?) I also put on a necklace which was gold and silver with a pokeball pendant on it. (Oh my god, there were no typos in that sentence!) I also put on white high heel pumps wich (*sigh*) were shiny leather looking and were white and strappy. (pms me if you want da pic) (Oh yes I would like, totally like, luuurrrvee to like, see them!) I aslo put on some makeup like chocolate (Mmmm) eyeliner which brought out my starling blue (Starling blue = blue bird!) ice eyes and blue eye shadow blended into my palid shin (No Ruby, silly, makeup goes on your face.) . I also put on some red lipstick and eyeliner.

"OMG you look very unprepossesing" (Let us txt then use BIG words to sound smart!) sad Saffie. (Poor sad Saffie) (AN thanks for da englishh book Katie c how Im using it for this stpory) (I'm under the impression that this book falls along the lines of "A is for Apple.")

"Ya." I say looking at myself in da mirror. Safire gav me a bandle (Invented word alert! Bandle, a cross between a band and a bundle.) of flowers that were red and whote then put on her dress (Up until this point she had been naked.) (she was gong to be my honor of maid) (Every wedding needs an honor of maid!) She was wearing a red and crimson dress that was covered in seekqins and spakled =like rubys (Me thinks you love your name.) in da sun. and red heeels and a red flower in her blond hare. (Everyone owns rabbits!) She llooked very hot and unpreposessing. (And there's that big word again!)

Anyway we put on our makeup (What? More?) and then got in a limbo (Limbo: lost, not to be confused with limo) and drove to where the wedding was. We got there. (Wow.)

Aceswild13 was dere, (Hmm, another fanfiction author. Is she planning on thanking him for his kind offers of help. Surely yes.) he looked hot and tall (Okay, he's hot…) and i cold (No he's cold.) tell he thouft i was hot 2. (How could you tell?) He was sooo jealous coz i knew he was in luove wit me (Uh right… despite what your brain might be telling you, really not everyone is in love with you…) but he dint hav a chance coz hed ben men (He's male, he can't help but be a man!) to me b4. Anyway I was gong to marry Gray. (That it'll teach him!)

Zakar was dere 2. (Another author, who's expecting a warm thank you?) He looked so retarded and stupid zand he was ugle and drooling like a baby and he was in nappies coz he's soo stoopid. (Your ability to insult is amazing, exactly like my 5yr brother, I'm sure you two would hit it off.) "RUBY Ur stopid and cant rite IM TELLN ur Muther!" he spelt wrongf! (Okay, to you Ruby, what exactly counts as incorrect spelling?) I took of my gun and shot him a bazillon (Not once, not twice, A BAZILLION TIMES!) times then he looked at me all retarded and run away crying anf fell down DEAD! (YEAH! YOU SHOWED HIM GOOD!)
THEN Chzalizard runnede out and ATE him so he was just a blood splat on da grund. (Seriously, how old are you?)

Ever1 laffed so hARD!1 (AT YOUR TERRIBLE WRITING!) Then the weddin musik begun. I walked down the island nervously. (It was a tiny island.) But I Gary (Broken sentence alert!) looked so happy and sexah that i stopped thinking. (How could you tell? And did you ever start again?)

We got marred (You're marring everything remotely cannon.) by Mew who proclaim as married and we kissed in front of everyone. everyone1 clap and cheer even Ash and Link And saffire( who wood be marred 2moro) (So everyone is happy except for one dead Zakar and one lovelorn AcesWild13). coz we looked so cute together.

Anyway we wdent on a plane to our honeymoon on the island like tha 1 in Breaking Dawn. (How original!) AND we HAD SEX! (GOAL!) (c that is y it is Mrated stupid fukker) (The word "sex" is not for use by little children. Ruby is clearly one grown-up lady! I love how she sweet talks her readers.)

Then we fell asleep. (Wow.)