Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Casualty or anything else you may recognize. Janet and anything you don't recognize is mine :)

A/N: Last time: Adam told Kirsty to go and see Warren's body and Nita went with them. Will Adam's prediction prove to be correct?

BTW, so sorry for the utter randomness at the end of the last chapter, I think I fell asleep writing it, 'cause there was about a hundred pages of Bs Cs and Vs...

DDM x

AdamPOV

"Noel, can you ring the chapel telling them Kirsty and Nita are on their way down?" I asked Noel.

"Yeah, sure thing," Noel replied, picking up the phone. Kirsty pressed the button on the lift, opening the doors and I wheeled Nita inside, Kirsty stepping in beside me.

I held out my hand for her to take, and she did, threading her fingers between mine. I looked at her engagement ring, and twiddled it round her ringer, she smiled at me.

"Doors opening: 1st floor," the mechanical voice said. Kirsty stepped out first, holding the doors open for me and Nita.

"Ah, Kirsty, and this must be Nita?" a nurse asked as we stepped out of the lift and started down the corridor.

"Hey, Janet," Kirsty said, acknowledging the woman who'd approached us.

"Noel just called down; Warren's this way," she said leading us down the corridor to a room with a blue door. The room was called 'Morgue Chapel room 5' there were obviously other families down here somewhere.

"I'll be outside if you need me, Kirsty," Janet told her as she backed out of the room, leaving me, Nita and Kirsty alone with Warren's lifeless corpse in front of us.

KirstyPOV

Warren lay there, motionless; so pale and lifeless. I'd never seen him so vulnerable. It reminded me of a time when he had the flu, he was in bed for weeks, and this was over ten years ago; when Nita was about three. He was so pale and thin; his appetite had disappeared completely and he wouldn't stop sneezing.

I'd look back now and think that he was so sweet and loving during that week; and after he was just his normal, abusive, self. Sometimes Warren had mood swings, he'd be in a good mood for over a fortnight, and then he'd flick back to a monster for another month, and the process would repeat over and over...

But here we were, I was still alive; which surprised me a whole lot, and he was dead. I thought it would end up the other way around, but there had been a mere handful of things which pulled me through.

One was Nita; she was the heart of my world, and if I left her with her father, only God knows what would have happened. I think her dad scared her sometimes, at nights I could hear her sobbing if I put my ear against her bedroom door.

Two was Adam. He had been there for me more times than I could remember, and he was the only one who knew the full extent of what happened with Warren. I could rely on Adam; yes we did argue and disagree on things, but we managed to work it out. I could never do that with Warren; it would just be another beating for Kirsty, one foot out of line and I'd get it.

Three was work. I loved my job. It was a place where I could step out of my battered wife profile and make a mask. I thought that by doing this, they'd never find out about the abuse, but no... It was going to leak at some point. I willed to go back to normal, but nothing ever dies down easily at the ED. I needed something to distract me, I think... Needed something to help me cope. I reckon that helping other people helped me, thinking that if I could help others I could save myself... boy I was wrong.

I found myself at Warren's side, holding his hand. I smiled, remembering all the times that he's been there for me. Helping me through the pregnancy, finding a job, and all the other times too. After he hit me, he'd clean up my cuts, apologising all the time... I forgave him. But later he just lost control. He gave himself ME; that's what I thought. Always turning to violence, fire fighting and family life just collapsed on top of him.

Nita got out of her wheelchair and perched on Warren's bed. She held his hand too. "I miss you dad," she sobbed. "I really do,"

"I do too, sweetheart." I told her, leaning over to wipe the tears from her eyes.

"I'll give you three some space," Adam said, acknowledging the fact that Warren's body was still in the room. "Thanks," I said.

After the door closed, I closed my eyes. I didn't really believe in God, but I thought that I needed some help, and He was the one to turn to.

Err, I know that I don't really believe in You, but I need some help... I prayed silently. I need to know where to go from here. Just give me an answer and I'll start going to church. I'll go with Adam and Nita. I really need to go somewhere from here; and I need someone to guide me.

I think that Warren will be in a better place now, and I hope that he's happy. If You happen to see him; tell him we all miss him and love him... Please?

I felt a fool... I never really listened at church when my parents took me when I was little. I sung the hymns and closed my eyes when they prayed, but I never really believed...

This was the time that changed my perspective on life, and how it's meant to be lived.

Please review?

A/N: I know it's short, but I needed that little bit at the end for what I needed to do... I really don't know if any of the people in the ED, apart from Tess, who is a Catholic or a Christian, but I think that Kirsty, Nita and Adam are getting a little closer to God...

Yes, to answer any questions, I'm a Christian and I live for God... I gave my heard to Him when I was very ill, and He cured me. He healed my Nan's breast cancer and my mum's skin cancer. My granddad will be having a hip operation any time soon, and I hope that He guides the operation and everything goes smoothly...

Religious rant over; next time is what Adam got up to when he was outside... and what will happen next to Kirsty, Nita, Adam and the rest of the ED gang?

DennisDaMenace x