"Have you lost your damn mind?!"

Pairing: Kotoumi

Loud footsteps were stomping behind her, shouts could be heard, honorifics were dropped for the first time for that voice.

"UMI!"

She could feel someone grabbing her arm, and she was rudely spun around to face someone that she wasn't quite ready to see.

"Umi-chan, have you lost your damn mind?!"

The familiar blue eyes were intently locked upon her face, the grip on her arm was starting to hurt, though it was only a fraction of the pain she had felt within her chest.

She never knew Honoka was this strong.

Her childhood friend's voice echoed around in her mind and she was beginning to feel numb from everything that was happening.

Umi wondered when it had all began, when she had realized her feelings for her other childhood friend, the one who was always supporting them from behind, the one who she would always go to.

It had started with this prickling feeling whenever Kotori was close to someone else; it ached when she held hands with Honoka; it burned when she found out that Kotori was in love with someone else.

Maybe Honoka was right, maybe she did lost her mind, but the only thing she knew was that she couldn't stand another moment being in love.

Because she was the moth to the grey flame.

"Today that person was surrounded by lots of girls again," Kotori lamented.

They were at the school's rooftop, a place which was gradually becoming their hideout during lunch breaks, just a place for two. It wasn't like they left Honoka out on purpose, but the muse leader seemed to disappear as soon as the lunch bell was rung.

"So who is this person that I should be deathly jealous of? Who stole my best friend's heart?"

There was a little chuckle, the golden eyes were fixated upon her own, and with the angelic smile that she always wore, Kotori replied.

"No one that you should be jealous of."

Umi wondered if this was akin to self torture, why did she come back for more stories to hurt herself with?

"I think we're becoming a little distant. I mean with that person,"

There was an downcast expression on her childhood friend's face, her lunchbox was left untouched and Kotori was hugging her knees.

"Really? What happened?"

"That's what I want to know too Umi-chan," And Kotori's attention was on her again, the piecing stare almost making it seem like the question was directed to her.

Sometimes it was hard to breathe around Kotori, and it seemed like almost everything would set her off these days.

"That person didn't reply my mail at all recently,"

"Oh."

She was definitely becoming less eloquent and nowadays she didn't even bother reading her childhood friends' texts.

"I wonder if I am a bother…" There were unshed tears within those golden eyes that were so strikingly similar to her own.

And Umi hated it, that someone else could make her friend so sad, yet she was unable to do it would be better if they got together.

"Then that person don't deserve you," Words that were never intended to be heard were whispered.

"Don't say that!" And there was that sudden outburst from her normally quiet friend, the tears were flowing freely, it was getting harder to breathe.

"So you love that person so much?"

"So much it hurts, but I'm happy as long as they are happy,"

And all Umi could think about was how wrong that sentence was.

It was a dull afternoon, the sun was hidden behind the clouds, their lunchbreak for two no longer seemed as pleasant as when they first started to.

There was no mention of that person at all, but it had hurt to know that she could never be the special someone.

Umi wondered where her courage had came from, maybe it was done on a spur of moment, but it was a thought that had haunted her for nights.

"Kotori," she wondered if this would be the last time she ever spoke of her name.

"Umi-chan?"

"Maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore."

At Kotori's shocked expression, she actually felt a brief moment of happiness, because Kotori cared about her, she realized.

Kotori's lips were trembling as she spoke, "But why? Did i do something wrong again?"

"It is never your fault."

The rain chose that moment to make its way down from the skies, washing away their tears. The thunder almost covered her last words but Kotori heard it nonetheless.

"Because I'm selfish and I love you too much to stay."

Her wet footsteps coated the school corridor, her body was cold and she had nowhere to go.

Loud footsteps were stomping behind her, shouts could be heard, honorifics were dropped for the first time for that voice.

"UMI!"

She could feel someone grabbing her arm, and she was rudely spun around to face someone that she wasn't quite ready to see.

"Umi-chan, have you lost your damn mind?!"

"Maybe i wasn't sane to begin with?"

"What did you do? Kotori was crying!"

"I can't do this anymore, Honoka… I told her we should stop being friends."

"That isn't something that you can decide on your own!"

"It hurts so much, knowing that Kotori likes someone else!"

"You didn't even give her a chance to explain herself!"

"What is there to explain?"

"What if she likes you back?"

Her legs brought her further away from the leader, as she shook Honoka's grip off. She could taste her tears as they flowed freely down her face.

"You're that person!"

She couldn't hear anymore, maybe she didn't want to hear it any longer, there was nothing but the howling wind as her legs brought her further into the rain.

A/N: This is admittedly one of my fav… Also I might've cried while writing this…